Do parents always go on college recruiting visits?

My son's official visits were mostly football oriented. No D1s- D2s, D3s. It didn't take long for him to figure out that D3s have unlimited unofficial visits. It didn't take me long to figure out why he kept going back to one particular school that he had no intention of ever attending. I put a stop to that.

My son has been on three unofficial visits. I guess four.

First was a D-1 that my son emailed and aksed if he could come and watch a practice and attend a basketball game that night. Coach said to come back during baseball season. I took him on the three hour drive and dropped him off at the stadium and he went up to meet the coach alone. He later told me that the coach asked where his parents were. He told the coach "my dad brought me" and he asked why I didnt come to meet him.

Second was a D-2 that he emailed coach again about going to a game. Wife and I took him and he went and met a coach, alone. Game time approached so we went in. We saw our son sitting by the coach in stands(doesnt go into dugout during games) and they motioned us over and we met coach and sat with him during the game.

Third was a D-2 asked him to come up eariler this week. Son told me the last thing he said was to "bring the folks." Wife's father was in the hospital so I took him and pretty much did everything with them.


Fourth really doesnt count, but on the way to Atlanta for the perfect game thing, he rode with a kid who committed to a D-1 in Tennessee. A couple of summer teammates planned a visit there and my son bummed along. Parents for the two boys visiting were present the entire time.

Seems like most schools dont mind if mommy and daddy are present. My only thing was I pretty much kept my mouth shut and let my son do the talking and question asking and answering. I liked hearing the coach talk to my son and get a feel for his personality, and see if it is the kind of guy I want my son to be around the next 4 years. My son will probably be with him more then me in that time frame.

quote:

Originally posted by Mizzoubaseball:
Seems like most schools dont mind if mommy and daddy are present. My only thing was I pretty much kept my mouth shut and let my son do the talking and question asking and answering. I liked hearing the coach talk to my son and get a feel for his personality, and see if it is the kind of guy I want my son to be around the next 4 years. My son will probably be with him more then me in that time frame.

I agree with the above. Unless you have met the coaches previously, I think it's a good idea to become familiar to where you will be writing checks out for 3-4 years or more.
We went on 2 OV with son and we never saw him unless we had to, he was off doing his own thing and we were too.

I believe it is important for parents to visit with their sons as well. IMHO, it is a good idea to meet and talk to the coach that is going to have a lot of control over your boy for the next few years. In those few short visits you need to determine if this is the person you want mentoring your son in many more ways than baseball. You are kidding yourself if you think otherwise. For example during early visits to the school during games I saw every player standing at military style attention during the playing of the National Anthem. This told me that he introduced a lot of discipline on the team. During another visit we were shown the locker room and just outside the locker room was shelves for the shoes. No shoes worn inside the locker room. Again points to discipline over the team. My wife really liked this last one! I also observed his actions during games and practice. You can really learn a lot about a coach by wathcing and listening even when it is not in direct face-to-face discussions.

AL MA,
Jack Leggett did a good job with his coaches!

You are correct in pointing out that folks can learn a lot by observing!

Most of the time we get to meet only the recruiters or the guy our sons will be working under. It is very important that a parent meet with the HC, he's the one who calls the shots and he will be the one who will award your son playing time. If you are in on the discussion that you know exactly what to expect.

JMO.

While I attended all of my son’s unofficial visits (5), I tried to stay out of as much of the process as possible.

My primary role was that of chauffer however once the visit started I would typically be introduced to the HC, PC and RC… take part in the academic portion of the visit and then made a point to excuse myself so he had plenty of private time with the coaches and players. When scholarship offers were made I would rejoin the meeting.

I think another important thing to consider is when your son makes his visits. While many schools entice a player to visit during football/basketball season we decided to go while the baseball team was in season. Our HS season started in late springs so we were able to do all of his visits in February and March of his junior year. This allowed us to see the team (and coaches) in action (very telling). Attending in season also gave him a great opportunity to visit with players and see their routines prior to the games. For me, this was a great opportunity to meet some of the player’s parents which provided valuable information from a parent POV.

Our player only made one official visit because he was already verbally committed to that school…he went solo on this trip to get a taste of the college football experience.

Unless you just cannot keep quiet and let your son manage the visit, I see absolutely no reason why you would not go. I believe it is your duty to know the people who will be managing your son and the institution that you will be funding. The best parts are being able to watch your son handle himself and having a great discussion while the visit is fresh in your memory. These are some of the best times you wil have before they go off to be men. IMHO

quote:

Originally posted by TPM:
AL MA,
Jack Leggett did a good job with his coaches!

Yep!! Have to agree with that. Just to name your's and my favorite Coach O'Sullivan and Corbin and there are others coached under Coach Leggett.

I was amazed at the difference we saw in how the various coaches we met conducted themselves, opened up about their program and goals, maintained their office and other facilities.

I started to think back on how many HC and assistants I met or talk to on the phone during the recruiting process; I'd say at least 8 or so programs with specific interset in their programs and several others at various events we attended. Of course this is only one factor and can change with the coach leaving, which happeded at Auburn while we were evaluating programs and coaches.

The kicker here is that my interest was in talking to all the pitching coaches. I had a scout tell me that the most important thing I could do for my son was to find him a good pitching coach at the college level. And when we put Coach Johnson and Coach Cobin together in any evaluation only 100 miles from home is was an easy decision.

I say all this to point out to not hesitate to take some time and talk to the coach that may coach your son. Get to know them, their style and demeanor. It does and will make a difference in your choice.

We went on each visit the first time he went to a college. In most cases the coach wanted us there so we could see the college and ask questions. Most of these visits included academic information and visiting with some one in admissions and Financial aid if we requested it.

When he visited the college a second or third time we did not attend unless it was a Academic visit, such as an honor scholarship weekend were parents were encouraged to attend seminars etc, while the son took tests and competed with other students for additional financial aid.

quote:

My primary role was that of chauffer however once the visit started I would typically be introduced to the HC, PC and RC… take part in the academic portion of the visit and then made a point to excuse myself so he had plenty of private time with the coaches and players. When scholarship offers were made I would rejoin the meeting.

I share jerseydad's point of view. I was there for the academic visits but made myself scarce when son was talking to the baseball coaches about anything other than money. I think my son enjoyed having another set of ears in the room during the academic discussions. A couple of times the baseball coaches or my son wanted me in the room. When invited, I still kept my mouth shut but provided feedback during the car ride home.

In addition, I think a parents participation in un-OV is sometimes determined by distance.

We did not go to either visit, due to financial difficulties. I wish the heck one of us would have gone on the D1 visit. Observing this joker would have set off alarm bells. I seriously doubted he would have asked about us or indicate a desire to meet us.
Seeing him later on at a game, he gave off strong negative body language.

Moral of this post, is go no matter the cost! All you need do is watch from the stands how your son is handled.

AL MA,

You hit on a good point, it is important for the recruit to get a feel for the assistant coach who will be instructing them. I know of a player who signed at a top 10 program because he just adored the HC (who recruited him) but not so crazy for the pitching coach.

However, it is important for parents to understand that it is the HC that makes the offer (directly or indirectly) and can take it away as well.

The player IMO should always take ownership of the process but when final decisions are being made, parents need to make sure where/who the offer is coming from and that promises are not made that can't be kept. It is a vulnerable time for your kids so sitting in on a meeting where the scholarship amount is discussed, what it covers as well as expectations will only be helpful to them in the long run.

I say it depends on:
A) How far away the college is? Right down the highway? Let kid go alone. A few states over, go with him.

B) Does kid want you to go? Refer to A. and if it is out of state, maybe go on the trip, but not to the actual school with him.

C) Did coach request your attendance? If so, I would go just because of the offer.

This was our experience with the school my son ultimately chose (a DIII):

Son was contacted by coach to come up for a visit. He was encouraged to bring parents, but due to work conflicts, only my son and I could attend. Once on campus, an assistant coach took us on a tour of the athletic facilities. We met the head coach and the other assistant coaches for lunch. There was one other boy and his dad on campus for his visit. The boys were met by several of the current teammates and taken off to their table for lunch, the other parent and I had lunch with the head coach and all assistants.

When he went back for his overnight visit, dad and I both dropped him off, and were going to spend the night at a motel nearby due to the long travel. We were met by the head coach, who gave us some ideas of places to go for dinner. The next morning, we all met with the head coach again for breakfast.

I thought this was about the perfect way to handle the parent/student separation as far as recruiting. It gave the student a chance to talk to players and coaches without parents nosing in, and the parents had quality time with coaches.

I would strongly recommend you attending the visit. I sat on the other side and I know from experience that young kids want to ask questions but may not feel comfortable.

This is a decision that ultimately he has to make but I am sure with 11.7 scholarships available in D1, that he will be spending alot of your hard earned money

You want to feel comfortable and maybe if he decides to or gets invited for another visit from the same school, allow him to go on his own.

.

"It didn't take me long to figure out why he kept going back to one particular school that he had no intention of ever attending. I put a stop to that."

Let me guess...too much fiber from their 'Unlimited Salad Bar'? Always coming home a bit on the gassy side?



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Our official visit was to the school he had already committed to. All but 3 guys in the class (of 14- they had all already committed) got together and took their official the same weekend. We arrived on Friday afternoon during fall practice. After practice the coaches met with the recruits and parents (every boy had at least one parent there)while the current players showered. After that the recruits went with their player hosts and the parents had a little free time. We met back up at a restaurant for dinner. After dinner the recruits and players went their way and parents went theirs. Saturday morning everybody met back up for a big tailgate before the football game, then went to the game. After the game recruits went with players and parents did their thing. Met back at the baseball stadium Sunday morning to pick up our son while the current players had an intra-squad scrimmage.

quote:

Originally posted by gotwood4sale:

Let me guess...too much fiber from their 'Unlimited Salad Bar'? Always coming home a bit on the gassy side?

No, there's a casino right next to the campus.

I've been thinking a lot about this lately. This is a BIG decision in a kids life. I can't think of anything bigger right now than committing to something that may cost $100,000.
What possible situation besides this, would see a parent allow a 17yr old kid to make a $100,000 decision by himself?
I can't think of one. I will stay out of the conversation as many have said, but you can bet I'm going to be involved.

quote:

Originally posted by 4 seamer:
I've been thinking a lot about this lately. This is a BIG decision in a kids life. I can't think of anything bigger right now than committing to something that may cost $100,000.
What possible situation besides this, would see a parent allow a 17yr old kid to make a $100,000 decision by himself?
I can't think of one. I will stay out of the conversation as many have said, but you can bet I'm going to be involved.

I agree,,its good to be there to "read" the coach and what he says,sometimes 17 year old kids dont have the insight the old man has..

Couldn't agree more about helping kids to make a good decision concerning college. Look at how many threads are on this site about transferring or about coaches personalities being totally different once the recruit is on campus.

Having another set of eyes and ears, while staying in the background, is an asset. Unfortunately even with all the due diligence it still isn't a slam dunk that the program you choose is the right fit. Stuff happens but at least if one parent shares in the decision it increases the odds in the players favor.