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69 replies

Do you have a backup plan?

younggunyounggun5,000+ posts
This is a question that has come up in our house over the past couple of days. Son is a 2015 graduate that wants to "play baseball" for his future. This came up as we were talking about colleges, GPAs, etc. He has said this in the past as a young kid, but he and I were engaged in a serious conversation about his future. My wife and I were discussing our conversation, and she stated, "What if he doesn't make it to the major leagues? What is his backup plan?" At the time it seemed like a good question, one that I had asked my son earlier in the day. But as I was doing yardwork the next day, a thought occured to me. Should I expect my son to have a "backup plan"? Let me explain. If my son's dream is to play professional baseball, would expecting him to have a backup plan insinuate that I didn't think he could "make it". When I was a sophomore in high school, I decided that I wanted to be a physician. I came home and told my parents and they were excited. They never asked me what my "back up" plan was. I think I would have been offended if they had asked that. I would have most likely thought, "Why don't you think I can make it?" During my junior year in college, I changed my plans to attend dental school instead. To the best of my recollection, there were about 500 applicants for the 50 spots in my dental school class. I'm not sure the odds are today, but I know the competition is stiff for admittance into dental or medical school. The point to my long-winded post is should we as parents expect our sons to plan for failure? I understand the odds are very much against my son playing at the major league level, but I now find myself wondering if I should ever plant ANY seeds of doubt in his mind. Just curious to see what others think about this or if it has ever crossed your mind.

Thanks YG

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jemazjemaz1,000+ posts
It's an individual thing.

I think it is foolish to not think about/plan for life after baseball. It is a prescription for disaster. Your son probably will not play in the Major Leagues, dream or no dream. If he makes it, his time there probably will be very brief. If he plays for 10 years, he will be just over 30 when he is done. If he makes the Hall of Fame, he most likely will stop in his late 30s or early 40s, with most of his life ahead of him.

It is crazy not to think about life after baseball. Many, many former pro players never planned; nearly all of them regret it, wondering for years what to do with the rest of their lives (especially after the money -- if there was any money left -- is gone).
CB SonCB Son10+ posts
YG........I am a firm believer in supporting and encouraging stretch goals with no back up. There are enough people in the world that will tell our kids that they can't do whatever they are dreaming of. Last year my son set the goal to play baseball in college and he has worked and continues to work on obtaining his goal. Somewhere on this site I read the stat that less than 10% of the players will play beyond high school and a much much smaller number will play beyond college. I am proud of his efforts and will supprt him as far as his goals take him.
As the old saying goes "reach for the stars and if you miss you still might hit the moon" or something like that.
Hawk19Hawk19100+ posts
I've had the discussion with my son.

I never considered it a 'back up' plan or 'planning for failure'. I've always told him that he just needs to keep his options open. Go to college, major in something 'real', get good grades and make contacts. You never know what might change in the future.

And jemaz is correct. Even if the dream comes true, life after baseball will be long.
F FoxDad10,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Hawk19:
I've had the discussion with my son.

I never considered it a 'back up' plan or 'planning for failure'. I've always told him that he just needs to keep his options open. Go to college, major in something 'real', get good grades and make contacts. You never know what might change in the future.

And jemaz is correct. Even if the dream comes true, life after baseball will be long.


Same here. Our son is in his first year of college (JUCO) and for the first time realizes he may not "go pro" - his dream has always been to play at the professional level. I don't think of it as a "backup plan" but more as another option if playing professional ball doesn't pan out. So his optional "career" is becoming a PE teacher - the idea of eventually becoming a coach and coach at the HS level. Up until now if you asked him what he was going to do for a living, his standard replay was "play professional baseball".
fenwaysouthfenwaysouth10,000+ posts
YG - Great, thought provoking post. It has been discussed in our house with my two oldest sons because we want to be aware of their short and long term educational goals & opportunities. Young adults need to know their parents are there for consultation when needed IMHO.

I agree with all of you, and understand your perspectives. Everybody has different passions at different times in their lives. You bring up great points, and it got me thinking. I'd like to throw out a corollary viewpoint. What if baseball is somebodys backup? Do the same rules apply?
Last edited by fenwaysouth
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
YG ... Is your son focused on being in the draft out of high school or does he have a backup plan of going to college? Is your son only looking to play at one college or will he be looking to have multiple options? If your son gets injured and can't play baseball anymore does he have a backup plan?

It's fine to be focused on a goal. But it's important to have options. There's nothing wrong with thinking out the what if scenarios.

Do you have life insurance? I'll guess you're not planning to die young. Do you have health insurance? You're probably not planning to have a major health incident.

Understanding the options is common sense.
Last edited by RJM
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Chances are that your son will not get drafted out of HS.
Chances are he will not be drafted out of college either.
If he does chances are less he may make it to ML baseball.
But that doesn't mean he should stop working towards that goal.

My suggestion is that at this time, college should be the first consideration with the goal of playing baseball in college (he shouldn't be expected to pick a career). That's how we approached it with our son, who decided to attend college and not go pro after HS.

Reality is IMO to plan a career other than baseball and if he gets drafted he has the opportunity to make decisions after that. But he has to have college options to be able to use that as leverage if there is pro consideration.

Some players don't get to that certain level due to injury, so it's important for your son to realize that he may need a career other than playing baseball.

Please do not take this personally, but parents need to stop worrying about what they say or do that might send the wrong message to their children. You need to be honest with him and tell him how you feel, that you will always support him in anything that he wants to do, but you will not financially support him as an adult and a struggling ball player. Point out to him what the minimum pay is for the lowest level of pro ball, that may get him to start looking into college progams asap. Big Grin

As RJM suggests, it's about having options not necessarily a back up plan.
Last edited by TPM
Dad04Dad045,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by jemaz:
It's an individual thing.

I think it is foolish to not think about/plan for life after baseball. It is a prescription for disaster. Your son probably will not play in the Major Leagues, dream or no dream. If he makes it, his time there probably will be very brief. If he plays for 10 years, he will be just over 30 when he is done. If he makes the Hall of Fame, he most likely will stop in his late 30s or early 40s, with most of his life ahead of him.

It is crazy not to think about life after baseball. Many, many former pro players never planned; nearly all of them regret it, wondering for years what to do with the rest of their lives (especially after the money -- if there was any money left -- is gone) .


+1. Hitters look dead red and react to the breaking ball. Baseball players need to work and hard to reach their goals, but backstop their plans with Plan B, knowing that Plan B will need to be used sooner than later for everyone.

Even if you make $10 million and retire at 33 with $4 million, you can't just go home and watch The View every day and you can only play so much golf. Baseball is temporary for nearly everybody. There are very few baseball "lifers".
Last edited by Dad04
younggunyounggun5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by TPM:
Chances are that your son will not get drafted out of HS.
Chances are he will not be drafted out of college either.
If he does chances are less he may make it to ML baseball.
But that doesn't mean he should stop working towards that goal.

My suggestion is that at this time, college should be the first consideration with the goal of playing baseball in college (he shouldn't be expected to pick a career). That's how we approached it with our son, who decided to attend college and not go pro after HS.

Reality is IMO to plan a career other than baseball and if he gets drafted he has the opportunity to make decisions after that. But he has to have college options to be able to use that as leverage if there is pro consideration.

Some players don't get to that certain level due to injury, so it's important for your son to realize that he may need a career other than playing baseball.

Please do not take this personally, but parents need to stop worrying about what they say or do that might send the wrong message to their children. You need to be honest with him and tell him how you feel, that you will always support him in anything that he wants to do, but you will not financially support him as an adult and a struggling ball player. Point out to him what the minimum pay is for the lowest level of pro ball, that may get him to start looking into college progams asap. Big Grin

As RJM suggests, it's about having options not necessarily a back up plan.


I agree with much of the above responses. Son is definately planning on attending college. I hope that I didn't send the wrong message. Education is TOP priority for me. I spent 18 years of my life in school. I'm just saying if you were to think back on your youth, when you decided on a career path, surely you didn't want to hear, "What if that doesn't work out?" Our priority list is God, family, school, baseball, girlfriend, ...... So please don't misunderstand my question. I guess it would have been better worded do we let baseball tell him how far he goes? I think this was basically pointed out in a post above. We all have to reassess our priorities as we get older and life circumstances change. I understand injuries can happen and he and I have had all of these conversations. I was just having a moment on the lawnmower wondering what others thought. Thanks to all that have taken the time to respond. Just as a side note, his older sister (a 2013 graduate) is planning on going to medical school. I have never asked her what she is going to do if she doesn't get accepted. These are the type of thoughts that led me to this self reflection.
Dad04Dad045,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by younggun:
Just as a side note, his older sister (a 2013 graduate) is planning on going to medical school. I have never asked her what she is going to do if she doesn't get accepted. These are the type of thoughts that led me to this self reflection.


I have two nieces. One is doing post grad Pharm.D. at UCONN. If she doesn't make it she still has her undergrad and will land on her feet.

The other is in her 2nd year at MIT. If she flunks out there, I'm guessing she'll still get a degree somewhere and land on her feet. Plan B is sort of "baked in".

The same could probably be said for your daughter. The guys I know of that make the inevitable transition out of pro baseball seem to do it more seemlessly with a degree, in the absence of a few years of MLB bank stashed away.
Last edited by Dad04
TrumanTruman5,000+ posts
As my son entered HS we already knew a couple of players who had injuries that ended their dream of getting to the level to play pro-ball. So my son had a very keen sense of how his goal could suddenly end at any time. It's not something he dwells on at all, but simply he considered as he makes his choices, particularly when it came to signing when he was drafted in 2010 and deciding to go to college and play there.

So, as a father it wasn't about "discouraging him" from his dream of becoming an MLB player. It was more of a risk management approach for his future. Some people have higher risk tolerances than others to the point they're willing and/or even able to "go all in" and let the card land where they will. Other's are more comfortable taking less risk and having some control by way of setting up contingencies.

I would say the risk level of achieving a goal of playing at the MLB level is MUCH different than the risk level of planning a career as a doctor or some other similar profession. So, IMHO. . .this really is mostly about how you and your son can or want to manage the risk and I feel strongly that it's something that should be thought about and talked about and planned for accordingly.
Last edited by Truman
Dad04Dad045,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by jp24:
Great post. Same situation here with 2016. For us it's: What is your after-baseball plan? Y'all have said as much. It ends for everyone sometime. Watching Dennis Eckersly on TBS, with the 70's look he's clinging to, makes me think he still lives in the past. Don't want that.


Are you ragging on Eck's moss? Dude had stinky HOF cheese and can grow moss as he sees fit. He's cut his moss since the '70's Smile

Last edited by Dad04
floridafanfloridafan5,000+ posts
My son was never going to become a physician, a CPA, or an Engineer. In todays economy there are many degrees that will not likely provide a substantial income. History, English, Psychology to name a few.

Welders and Plumbers tend to do fairly well, as do Sales Professionals.

Some professions require a degree, but do not necessarilly provide a significant upside where income is concerned. Many degrees earned by graduates, especially where the majority of athletes are concerned, are not in the fields of Math and Science.

I have a family run business, worst case scenerio, he can join me in my business. I would be happy to hire him.

I suppose that provides a back stop and allows him to always be ALL IN.
Last edited by floridafan
J junior5100+ posts
I chose the college I am attending because I had a chance to contribute to the baseball program and it was a school that I would be happy attending if baseball wasn't in the picture. As of today, not even halfway through my sophomore year, I am no longer playing because of a shoulder injury I just couldn't seem to get rid of. With baseball, just as in life, you never know when your time will be over. The end isn't always something you can control, which is why I have known what I want to do well before I came to college, regardless of baseball's path for me. I have been told as long as I can remember that Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance, and not having backup plan doesn't quite sound like "Proper Preparation" to me. By not being prepared you leave a a great chance of cutting yourself short in the things you need most.
T twotex1,000+ posts
When I was a senior in high school I knew that I would be a teacher.

I got married at 19, had a child at 22, divorced at 24. I never became a teacher. I went to law school instead. Yep, i was a single mom with a 2 year old, working and going to law school. Once my mom suggested the path I had chosen was too difficult.

Thirty years later I can report that I got that law degree, practiced law for years, and am now a CEO of a company. The memory of my mother's lack of confidence in me still lingers.

Doubts will creep in. Parents don't need to plant them. If baseball doesn't work out he will be young enough to adapt.

My son says he wants to go to law school. We talk about majors which would be helpful for law school, but also good in case HE changes his mind and doesn't go to law school.

Never up, never in.
TrumanTruman5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by floridafan:
My son was never going to become a physician, a CPA, or an Engineer. In todays economy there are many degrees that will not likely provide a substantial income. History, English, Psychology to name a few.

Welders and Plumbers tend to do fairly well, as do Sales Professionals.

Some professions require a degree, but do not necessarilly provide a significant upside where income is concerned. Many degrees earned by graduates, especially where the majority of athletes are concerned, are not in the fields of Math and Science.

I have a family run business, worst case scenerio, he can join me in my business. I would be happy to hire him.

I suppose that provides a back stop and allows him to always be ALL IN.


Yep, and this kind of thing is what I was refer to as a case where there is less risk and one can go all in. . . where someone else might not have such an option and therefore at a higher risk for not achieving one's goal of some kind of financial success (assuming they might have any such goals at all).
OI Out in the sticks100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by floridafan:
My son was never going to become a physician, a CPA, or an Engineer. In todays economy there are many degrees that will not likely provide a substantial income. History, English, Psychology to name a few.

Welders and Plumbers tend to do fairly well, as do Sales Professionals.

Some professions require a degree, but do not necessarilly provide a significant upside where income is concerned. Many degrees earned by graduates, especially where the majority of athletes are concerned, are not in the fields of Math and Science.

I have a family run business, worst case scenerio, he can join me in my business. I would be happy to hire him.

I suppose that provides a back stop and allows him to always be ALL IN.



Seems to me you're downplaying the value of education?
S SwampboyHSBBWeb Administrator
I wouldn't worry about a backup plan for a high school sophomore.

Just set clear expectations about the courses he needs to take and the grades he needs to make in order to keep good colleges in reach.

I'm observing that the kid who had no backup plan in high school suddenly figured out for himself that he does need one when he got to college and started seeing how many awesome players are better than him but still not good enough to be pro prospects.

This is how sports are supposed to work: they keep young people busy, tired, and on track until their brains develop enough to make adult choices.
TrumanTruman5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by twotex:
When I was a senior in high school I knew that I would be a teacher.

I got married at 19, had a child at 22, divorced at 24. I never became a teacher. I went to law school instead. Yep, i was a single mom with a 2 year old, working and going to law school. Once my mom suggested the path I had chosen was too difficult.

Thirty years later I can report that I got that law degree, practiced law for years, and am now a CEO of a company. The memory of my mother's lack of confidence in me still lingers.

Doubts will creep in. Parents don't need to plant them. If baseball doesn't work out he will be young enough to adapt.

My son says he wants to go to law school. We talk about majors which would be helpful for law school, but also good in case HE changes his mind and doesn't go to law school.

Never up, never in.


Life happens and the best laid plans can and often to go awry. But that doesn't mean one shouldn't have plans or some kind of direction, huh? In a very high risk venture like trying to get to the level of MLB and that one only has a very short time span to work with, having contingencies seems to me to be a prudent approach for looking at one's future. And this would not have anything to do with trying to discourage a person just because the path might be "too difficult."

One of the things I love most about game of baseball are the life lessons that can be learned from playing the game. For example, this game teaches players (particularly successful players) how to handle failure and put it behind them and move on to achieve success at whatever they might do. It also teaches them how to be flexible and change their approach as situations change. Some will succeed at getting to their dream, but most will not. Baseball is a GREATE game!
TrumanTruman5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Out in the sticks:
quote:
Originally posted by floridafan:
My son was never going to become a physician, a CPA, or an Engineer. In todays economy there are many degrees that will not likely provide a substantial income. History, English, Psychology to name a few.

Welders and Plumbers tend to do fairly well, as do Sales Professionals.

Some professions require a degree, but do not necessarilly provide a significant upside where income is concerned. Many degrees earned by graduates, especially where the majority of athletes are concerned, are not in the fields of Math and Science.

I have a family run business, worst case scenerio, he can join me in my business. I would be happy to hire him.

I suppose that provides a back stop and allows him to always be ALL IN.



Seems to me you're downplaying the value of education?


On the other hand, one doesn't "need" and education to be successful. . .and it helps to be smart. huh?

And of course some might be lucky enough to just Forest Gump there way through life. Wink
floridafanfloridafan5,000+ posts
I am just pointing out that success can come in many forms and from many differing paths. I personally do not have a college degree, and am not proud of that fact, I do place a high value on intelligence. However without a college education I have been able to support a family of 5 children on one income for the past 30 years, and function reasonably well in society.

If I could have it all back I would have gone to college. Be that as it may, my son did attend college for 4 years although due to a change in Major is 15 hours shy of his degree. He will survive, and is highly success oriented, with or without a degree.
floridafanfloridafan5,000+ posts
"On the other hand, one doesn't "need" and education to be successful. . .and it helps to be smart. huh?

And of course some might be lucky enough to just Forest Gump there way through life. Wink "

Truman - it is only because the world is populated by pompus people such as yourself that I ever regret not obtaining a college degree.

If you choose to work for others in the workplace, then yes you better be able to compete with your sheepskin in hand.

I chose the route of building my own business, where I can hire those with a sheepskin to work for me.

If you get off on demeaning me and my accomplishments go for it...you are not worth my time. Go pound sand somewhere else.

Truman - I reread your posts in this thread, if I misconstrued your intent, I apologize. If not, my remarks stand.
Last edited by floridafan
TrumanTruman5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by floridafan:
"On the other hand, one doesn't "need" and education to be successful. . .and it helps to be smart. huh?

And of course some might be lucky enough to just Forest Gump there way through life. Wink "

Truman - it is only because the world is populated by pompus people such as yourself that I ever regret not obtaining a college degree.

If you choose to work for others in the workplace, then yes you better be able to compete with your sheepskin in hand.

I chose the route of building my own business, where I can hire those with a sheepskin to work for me.

If you get off on demeaning me and my accomplishments go for it...you are not worth my time. Go pound sand somewhere else.

Truman - I reread your posts in this thread, if I misconstrued your intent, I apologize. If not, my remarks stand.


WOW! Apparently, you've misunderstood what I said.

Maybe you should read those sentences again. . . . separately? And don't read anything else into them.

And BTW, I don't have a college degree either and also am not ashamed of that fact.
Last edited by Truman
TrumanTruman5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by floridafan:
Then I offer my sincere apologies. I hope they will be accepted in the spirit intended.



floridafan,

Accepted.

I've been on message boards for over 20 years and it's far from the first time there's been misunderstandings. Often this medium is difficult to convey all that's intended.

PS: am a retired FP
Last edited by Truman
fillsfanfillsfan1,000+ posts
Having a back up plan in case he doesn't become a ML baseball player is very different than a back up plan if you don't become a doctor or lawyer IMO. I think you can have a back up plan for baseball without tempering a players motivation.

If you are intelligent enough, and work hard, you will become a doctor or lawyer if you want to. It's your choice and as long as stay focused chances are you will reach your goal. I'm sure the success rate is higher than 1% for all people entering law school.

Sports are different. You just can't say "I want to be a professional baseball player" and it will happen if you work hard. You can work as hard as you want to attain that goal but if the talent isn't there or you get injured it's not going to happen. If the talent is there you have a 97-99% chance it still won't happen if you even get drafted.

There are about 750 major league ball players. You have to be very, very good to make a living in baseball. You can't be an OK player and make it to MLB. You can be an OK doctor, lawyer or indian chief and still make a good living.
wraggArmwraggArm500+ posts
All -
Just make sure you're not so consumed with the "back-up plan" conversation that you end up talking him out of taking his shot. Whether he's MLB material or not, some guys just need to go find out for themselves.

Wouldn't you hate some day to find out that your successful lawyer son hated his life b/c he felt like he walked walked from baseball too early?
Last edited by wraggArm
T twotex1,000+ posts
I wonder how many adults on these boards are doing what they planned to do when they were 17. You change, you adapt, and yes, life happens. The world has changed since I graduated from high school in 1976. Profoundly.

17 is young. Really young. Now that I am over 50 I realize that 21 is still really young. I never dreamed that I would be where I am, doing what I'm doing, not personally or professionally.

In this day and age success is as much a function of adapting as it is planning. The world is changing much faster than it did when I was 17. Who knows what it will be like when my son is my age.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a master planner, and believe deeply in education. It can build confidence and definitely opens doors. Keeping options open - by getting good grades in high school, for example - is very helpful.

What is important to me as a parent is that my son learns to believe that he can thrive under a variety of circumstances and despite adversity. It isn't survival of the fittest, it is survival of those most capable of adapting.

So if the kid wants to give baseball a shot, go for it. Who knows. There's nothing which keeps someone from going to college at 21.
H HVbaseballDAD1,000+ posts
You bet there is a back-up plan. My son loves baseball more than anything and would love to make it a career. However, he knows given his size and relative performance thus far that he is good, but he is no blue-chipper right now. The deal we have is that if he makes smart lifestyle decisions and keeps on top of the academics, I will support his baseball dreams as long as he can keep them alive. If that is playing in college, then that will be the best academic/baseball school that he feels comfortable at. His responsibility to pursue his dream is to also pursue his next best option at the same time. If he is lucky enough to be one of the few who are able to play beyond college and get paid (paltry as it may be), I have already promised to support that dream both philosophically and financially. If he holds up his end, I will hold up mine.
S showme100+ posts
Do a search on Todays college education...MLB might be a track with a better outcome. 50% can't find a job, those that do are underemployed, includes those STEM degree folks.

My point is rules change, those that adapt, prosper, and or... these 17 year old have different guidelines for a lack of a better term, they need to be aware of.

Planning has never been more critical.
C CABBallFan1,000+ posts
How about the term ‘dual-track’? Let’s acknowledge that ‘back-up plan’ has negative connotation built in: The primary plan needs to fail before the back-up plan is invoked.

For the adults w/ players on the board – beware, generalization coming Smile – we already ‘dual-track’. We put extraordinary effort into both our career and raising our kids. There’s likely some cross-over skills required, but for the most part, we are ‘dual-tracking’ the two most important, difficult, and rewarding components of our lives.

Having an MLB bound son (note: defining the process by the end-point instead of the journey; something that will change for them as they accumulate age) does not mean they are absolved of achievement in the classroom. Or that they should have no other interests to focus on. In fact as they take more and more ownership of their baseball trajectory, parents should consider how to get other interests injected into their sons’ lives.
BishopLeftiesDadBishopLeftiesDad10,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Hawk19:
I've had the discussion with my son.

I never considered it a 'back up' plan or 'planning for failure'. I've always told him that he just needs to keep his options open. Go to college, major in something 'real', get good grades and make contacts. You never know what might change in the future.

And jemaz is correct. Even if the dream comes true, life after baseball will be long.


This is how we approached it when my son decided he wanted baseball to be his career. Not so much a back up plan, but part of his journey. It will make him a well rounded person, and who knows he may find something else he is passionate about along the way.
younggunyounggun5,000+ posts
Wow!!! Lot of great replies. I really haven't read a post that I can say I disagree with. wraggarm and twotex make great points, but so do truman and filsfan. I guess this proves that I wasn't crazy while own my mower. Not a clear cut and dry answer. Love the "risk assessment" analogy. That is where I think we have the differing of opinions. Some are risk takers and some are more conservative in their approach to life. The is why individuals like floridafan are successful without a college degree and that is what makes our country the greatest in the world. Everyones path to success is different just as everyone's definition of success is different. By the way, even though I support my son's decision to become a MLB player, we will expect that he strive for his education and a degree, just in case Smile I hope that doesn't mean I am talking out of both sides of my mouth.
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