Do you need to play in high school?

If he can play it will work out. Just have him walk up to his old coach, shake his hand firmly, and tell him he's happy to see him again.

Time (and talent) will heal all wounds.

I agree with Bum. If he can play, it will work out with HS baseball.

Ambo, welcome. There are so many folks who have been down similar paths, and things have worked out. So many players have to overcome something, be it injury, politics, bad coaching, restricted budgets. It is amazing to see how many kids push past the obstacles.

Good luck to your son.

Coaches, parents and players can all grow. We all make mistakes and hopefully learn from them. I don't know the specifics of the issues your son had w/ his old travel coach. If it is something you and your son can put behind you two should make an attempt to make amends and start fresh. Give it a year at least. Freshman yr is not all that important. Sophomore year is more important and jr year the most.

By the title of your post you've already given up. You don't need a dime to fix this. Humility, grace, forgiveness, and kindness are all free. You just gotta wanna!

Ambofkwan,

Truthfully, I think you may be worrying a little too much. I hope your worrying has not rubbed off on your son. He needs you to be positive in this situation.

Your son needs to do all the things that are expected of him (weight lifting training, open gyms), and then have a good tryout. Evaluate your situation after tryouts.

I've been pondering this issue. First, if the player is 14 years old and the issue occurred a few years ago, it seems like that there should be a way for the coach to get past it. I mean, who holds the actions of a 9-12 year old boy against him forever?

If the problem was between the parent and the coach, then the parent needs to figure out how to get past the issue. Set a good example. At one point in our son's careers, most of us have had to just suck it up and be quiet.

In most programs I would expect the varsity coach to be involved in the assessment of JV talent. After all, this is the development team for varsity. So even if there's some bad blood with the JV coach, the varsity coach will likely provide some input.

There are kids who play all 4 years just biting their tongue about the coach. It is just one piece of the overall baseball puzzle. People get past it. It isn't the worst possible scenario.

One thing my son likes to say is that he only focuses on things he can control. I'm trying to learn from him.

Is he gonna tryout for Varsity? Maybe he should?

My son did as a freshman with great success...

With that kind of stick, they should find a place for him...

Good luck!

Could be worse.

My 2013's coach did so well here that he got a job at a much larger school, and the guy that replaced him is one that was fired here 5 years ago and none of the good players will play for him.

He seems ok to us, and we didn't live here back them, but our team may not even have enough kids to field a team...and if they do, we're going to be really bad.

It was bad enough last year to have my son throw 150 pitches because no one could get anyone out, and see guys drop pop flies you'd not expect a 4th grader to drop (not to mention xero run support), but it's going to be worse this year.

He'll still play, but disappointing.

Bum, Jr. did not play varsity until his junior year. Playing h.s. ball as a freshman means nothing.

JV coach will not be neutral.  When we parted company I sent a nice email trying to smooth things out. We had a difficult relationship for a couple of years. Just never got along.  Explained reasons for pulling Ambo Jr (health) and thanked him. Don't think he believed it but was the truth.  Got no reply and has been icy with no eye contact ever since.  I am told the JV takes two dozen kids. His kid will be on it.  Even if he makes it there just aren't that many games/ABs to be had with that big a team. So by not making it, he may be doing him a great service. He'll  likely progress faster and soph year he will be huge, prob over 6' , and tough to ignore I think.  Thanks for all the encouragement. Am gathering strength from them. 

problems like this seem to bother daddy more than the son

Let it go. Be thankful you have a loving son and that you can watch him play as that is the only thing that is important. The level of play (freshmen, jv, varsity) means nothing.

Encourage your son to have the best attitude on the team even if the coach treats him the worst. Play harder than every other kid. Get there earlier and stay longer. He cannot control how a coach treats him but he can control how he reacts to others and his effort.

Talent will always win out in the end. All he needs to do is keep plugging away with the best attitude on the team and be ready for opportunities to perform. When he gets them, he can let his play do all the talking for him.

quote:

Originally posted by Ambofkwan:
... My kid is a freshman. Decent player, OF/RHP, with great bat. 14yo, decent speed, decent arm, big sized, and can hit with power to all fields. Can homer to pull power now on big field, warning track power to right. Great contact. ....

quote:

Originally posted by Ambofkwan:
JV coach will not be neutral. When we parted company I sent a nice email trying to smooth things out. We had a difficult relationship for a couple of years. Just never got along.....

Ambo,
Welcome to the site. I may be wrong but my interpretation of the conflict you describe is between you and the coach perhaps more so than your son and the coach. If your son, as a player, is as you describe and there are no significant conduct/respect issues, this should be fairly simple.
Place yourself far in the background as a supportive fan of the team, stay out of the coaches' business and let your son's abilities earn his way. If your son follows the lead of ClevelandDad's advice (best attitude, effort, etc.) he will eventually find his way to where he wants to be.
You will have to make a serious effort to bite your toungue when you disagree with the actions of the coach. This will not help your son if you voice those opinions to him or to others.
Best wishes.

quote:

Originally posted by Ambofkwan:
JV coach will not be neutral.  When we parted company I sent a nice email trying to smooth things out. We had a difficult relationship for a couple of years. Just never got along. W Explained reasons for pulling Ambo Jr (health) and thanked him. Don't think he believed it but was the truth.  Got no reply and has been icy with no eye contact ever since.  I am told the JV takes two dozen kids. His kid will be on it.  Even if he makes it there just aren't that many games/ABs to be had with that big a team. So by not making it, he may be doing him a great service. He'll  likely progress faster and soph year he will be huge, prob over 6' , and tough to ignore I think.  Thanks for all the encouragement. Am gathering strength from them. 

I agree this sounds like more of a problem between a parent and a coach than a player/coach thing. How does an 11/12 player have an issue with coach. IMO it's usually the parent getting involved with playing time, or other team issues.

Also agree, stay away from the coach and the team during tryouts and the season. If we parents stay away things do usually work out based on talent.

quote:

Originally posted by Bum:
If he can play it will work out. Just have him walk up to his old coach, shake his hand firmly, and tell him he's happy to see him again.

Time (and talent) will heal all wounds.

IMHO this is the best advice. Just have him go out and play.

Coaches have this "thing" about winning and the best players help them do that...

PLAY!!!

You cannot control everything. Control what you can and play with great effort. It seems like every season I can recall there is some adversity or major issue going on. That's how it goes.

Good luck to your son. Grind through it, you will all be fine.

Lefty

Ambofkwan,

You have gotten great advice and I will ECHO those advice to let him try out and let everything fall into place.

Your son will have a lot of scouting opportunities being in Southern California year round.

Best of Luck to your son!

RR23

Ambofkwan,

Sent you a pm.

Am, you have received a lot of good info. It is time to remove yourself from this equation and just be a support outlet for your son. it is time for him to make his own way through trial and error, dedication and hard work

Talent is Talent. You either have it or you do not.

first of all the varsity coach usually dictates who makes and plays on the JV

Before thinking about college ball a fourteen year old needs to prove he can succeed on the high school/17U level of competition.

I can't imagine an issue in 12u ball with a high school assistant coach is going to have any bearing on the judgement of a high school varsity coach. The varsity coach will determine who pays varsity and who plays JV.

You need to stay out of this. I mean completely out of it. Don't feed your son any of your
negativity. And by the way, almost every parent I ever heard claim the high school varsity coach screwed their son was wrong. Their son was beaten out for the position.

I sometimes think we as parents in our desire to protect our children don't allow them to have challenging experiences that may help them grow as a person. We have probably all been guilty of this at some point in time. Not that I am saying this is the case but this might be one of those teachable moments for your son to learn how to work through this situation. I can tell you that once your son gets in highschool and especially in college he is going to have to work through some uncomfortable experiences be it with a coach or another player. Unlike travel ball where you can essentially pay for another team, in high school and especially in college you have to learn to work through the situation.
I am so thankful that my son's high school coach was a challenge for my son to play for because it prepared him to play for his college coaches. Have your son shake the man's hand, out hustle, out work and out play everybody and I will bet you that this issue will become as important as a pimple on an elephant's a** to the coach. Being a good team player, always giving your best and performing can solve a lot of problems. Your son is blessed whether you can see it now or not because he will grow as a man by learning to handle situations like these while having you around to help him learn how to handle these type of growth opportunities. After the season is over why don't you let us know how it worked out. I got a good feeling that everything will be alright.

I asked my son what he thought of his high school coach. I had a good idea what the response would be. My son called him a ******* (multiple choices for seven letters). Said he did things to players that shouldn't have been done. Said he was completely intimidated by the coach his soph year. Said he grew up as a person learning how to cope with the situations. Then he added when the coach isn't being a jerk he'as quite funny with his sarcasm. The hard part was learning what was a joke versus a put down. In the big picture my son had a great time playing high school baseball. A difficult coach made him more of a man.

quote:

Originally posted by RJM:

You need to stay out of this. I mean completely out of it. Don't feed your son any of your
negativity. And by the way, almost every parent I ever heard claim the high school varsity coach screwed their son was wrong. Their son was beaten out for the position.

Like it or not, this is pretty much spot on.

The good news is around this site, most people had positive high school experiences. My son did not. He did not give into the pressure to play summer ball for his high school coach and was cut from Varsity his junior year. Many on this site felt it must be his talent or attitude because coaches always take talented players. Unfortunately, that is not the truth. He played JV that year, and Varsity his senior year where oddly, he basically didn't play even on senior day until the post season where he played every game when the coach couldn't take a chance at losing.

The good news is, he was offered a guaranteed roster spot at a D1 that will start the season in the top 25. Again, many felt he wouldn't be given a chance there but we believed the coach when he said he would. After my son's fall summary meeting he was told he would play at two if not three positions this spring as a freshman and is expected to help the team in many ways.

I look back and am now able to be grateful for the skills my son learned regarding overcoming adversity. He doesn't give up, he works hard every day and best yet, he never lets someone deter him from his goals. Some of the scholarship players at his University had a lot more trouble adjusting and finding a way to make an impact as they had never been in that position. I guess my point is, like everyone else has told you, stay away...especially during try outs. Don't go watch or hoover near the field. Let your son stand on his own. It may work out, it may not. If your son loves the game he will find a way to make it work out. Play for an excellent coach with a great travel program and things will sort themselves out. Just don't be surprised if your son is not treated fairly in high school, it happens folks. But rather then focus on bad coach, teach him to focus on what he can personally learn and apply through out his life if things don't go his way. Being screwed can also be an opportunity if framed in the right way.

There's my answer, do you have to play in high school...not necessarily. There are many ways to reach your goals, some include the road less traveled and filled with pot holes. But, my son who played maybe 6 high school Varsity games and did not receive a scholarship but who believed he was able to play at a top level is going to be doing just that! Many in his recruiting class filled with high school studs were told not to expect to play their freshman year. If your son loves the game, focus on the prize, not the journey.

much he said she said being referred to here

heres the best advice i can give you..Dont say as much as BOO to the high school coaches..not the freshman coach or the varsity coach.its time your kid becomes a man..My son made the A team as a freshman but was "cut" to the b team after 2 games.of course he was upset BUT it had nothing at all to do with his talent JUST his size.by the time varsity came around he was a starting SS and starting Pitcher and now he is playing ball in college at his school of choice.I sometimes wonder what would have happened to him IF i had made a big stink about the cut to B team in his freshman year..??? If the kid is deserving he will get there

An important aspect of all of this is the mental part. I think he will probably make the team if he has the talent. However, I have seen very good talented players on the bench or treated unfairly due to incompetent coaches. I have seen this many times in good HS baseball programs. Is easy to say...if the kid has talent just show that when you get the opportunity and the rest will be OK.

Well...sometimes is not that easy. I have seen kids with great talent lose confidence very quickly!! Then when they get that opportunity they are so mentally messed up that they cannot even play close to their capabilities. I think this is the higher risk that your kid can take by playing for this coach. HS baseball is not that important for his baseball development. Just way until the season starts and you will see it for yourself. You are the only one that can make the final decision, but you should know the risks of playing or not. Good Luck!!

quote:

Originally posted by Albert Pizarro:
...However, I have seen very good talented players on the bench or treated unfairly due to incompetent coaches. I have seen this many times in good HS baseball programs. Is easy to say...if the kid has talent just show that when you get the opportunity and the rest will be OK.

Well...sometimes is not that easy. I have seen kids with great talent lose confidence very quickly!! Then when they get that opportunity they are so mentally messed up that they cannot even play close to their capabilities. I think this is the higher risk that your kid can take by playing for this coach. HS baseball is not that important for his baseball development. Just way until the season starts and you will see it for yourself. You are the only one that can make the final decision, but you should know the risks of playing or not. Good Luck!!

OK Albert, so are you suggesting to the OP that he transfers his son to another HS to play due to the past issue? Are you suggesting he have him not play HS ball? I know that you state only he can make the final decision but much of your message seems to steer toward one of these two directions. Is that really what you want to advise the parent of an incoming HS freshman?

quote:

Originally posted by cabbagedad:

quote:

Originally posted by Albert Pizarro:
...However, I have seen very good talented players on the bench or treated unfairly due to incompetent coaches. I have seen this many times in good HS baseball programs. Is easy to say...if the kid has talent just show that when you get the opportunity and the rest will be OK.

Well...sometimes is not that easy. I have seen kids with great talent lose confidence very quickly!! Then when they get that opportunity they are so mentally messed up that they cannot even play close to their capabilities. I think this is the higher risk that your kid can take by playing for this coach. HS baseball is not that important for his baseball development. Just way until the season starts and you will see it for yourself. You are the only one that can make the final decision, but you should know the risks of playing or not. Good Luck!!

OK Albert, so are you suggesting to the OP that he transfers his son to another HS to play due to the past issue? Are you suggesting he have him not play HS ball? I know that you state only he can make the final decision but much of your message seems to steer toward one of these two directions. Is that really what you want to advise the parent of an incoming HS freshman?

No, I'm not advising to go to other H.S. or to not play HS ball. Wherever you go, there will be always issues. Only the OP knows how bad is the situation with the coach...we can only speculate. His concern is a legit one and I think that based on the original question, he's considering not to play during freshman year. If that is his decision, is not a big deal in terms of his baseball future. If he decides to play is not big deal either regardless if he gets playing time or not but how will the kid mentally react to that.

quote:

Originally posted by Albert Pizarro:
An important aspect of all of this is the mental part. I think he will probably make the team if he has the talent. However, I have seen very good talented players on the bench or treated unfairly due to incompetent coaches. I have seen this many times in good HS baseball programs. Is easy to say...if the kid has talent just show that when you get the opportunity and the rest will be OK.

Well...sometimes is not that easy. I have seen kids with great talent lose confidence very quickly!! Then when they get that opportunity they are so mentally messed up that they cannot even play close to their capabilities. I think this is the higher risk that your kid can take by playing for this coach. HS baseball is not that important for his baseball development. Just way until the season starts and you will see it for yourself. You are the only one that can make the final decision, but you should know the risks of playing or not. Good Luck!!

LIFE Happens..coaches want to win and they WILL shake up a batting order and that tends to break some's confidence while instilling confidence in others..varsity high school coaches dont really care about kid's feelings when they are trying to win conference...its time to grow up.better in high school than in college.

quote:

Originally posted by wogdoggy:

quote:

Originally posted by Albert Pizarro:
An important aspect of all of this is the mental part. I think he will probably make the team if he has the talent. However, I have seen very good talented players on the bench or treated unfairly due to incompetent coaches. I have seen this many times in good HS baseball programs. Is easy to say...if the kid has talent just show that when you get the opportunity and the rest will be OK.

Well...sometimes is not that easy. I have seen kids with great talent lose confidence very quickly!! Then when they get that opportunity they are so mentally messed up that they cannot even play close to their capabilities. I think this is the higher risk that your kid can take by playing for this coach. HS baseball is not that important for his baseball development. Just way until the season starts and you will see it for yourself. You are the only one that can make the final decision, but you should know the risks of playing or not. Good Luck!!

LIFE Happens..coaches want to win and they WILL shake up a batting order and that tends to break some's confidence while instilling confidence in others..varsity high school coaches dont really care about kid's feelings when they are trying to win conference...its time to grow up.better in high school than in college.

I totally agree, but that's a different topic.

quote:

Originally posted by Albert Pizarro:

quote:

Originally posted by cabbagedad:

OK Albert, so are you suggesting...

No, I'm not advising to go to other H.S. or to not play HS ball. Wherever you go, there will be always issues. Only the OP knows how bad is the situation with the coach...we can only speculate. His concern is a legit one and I think that based on the original question, he's considering not to play during freshman year. If that is his decision, is not a big deal in terms of his baseball future. If he decides to play is not big deal either regardless if he gets playing time or not but how will the kid mentally react to that.

Fair enough, thanks.

It's a big world and bad blood happens. And negative feelings for a parent can affect the player adversely. I would hope at the HS level the JV coach would let the players play. I can say that it is likely if you antagonize the coach, whether "real" or not, it cannot help and could hurt your son's chance of making the team and getting playing time. But it will be understandably tough to sit back, let bygones be bygones, and let your son play and hope he gets a fair shake.

Hopefully he's grown, as has your son, and you for that matter, and everything will work out for the best.

This is just my point of view, I haven't played high school ball since my freshmen year and I am currently a senior. My school baseball team was all politics. Anyway, I found a team to play during the summer and fall and I played a few games in the spring for travel just to stay in game shape. I trained during the offseason and was ready to go for the summer, which I find more important than play HS ball. Yes the experience of playing for your school is great, it just didn't work out so good with me. I basically just spent my time attending camps, showcases, and playing on tournament teams. I was lucky enough to get noticed and actually recently I got into deep conversations and eventually I "verbally" told the coach I would attend, since it's a Northeast D3 school. You don't have to play HS, but even though I only played for one year, I would just give it a shot, it doesn't hurt to try.

Tryouts are next month.  Jr will give it a shot; I will be invisible. Will let you know how it turns out.