Does having a girlfriend help or hurt your baseball performance

Could we have the source of this "study"?

Where can we read it?

TRhit

Watching baseball for more than 40 years is my source of information....

In high school, girls are bad for baseball players...not because of the "physical" side of things, but rather because of the emotional gymnastics that they play with a kids mind.

as of right now ive been doin better with a gf cuz i want 2 do good in front of her and make her proud

girls are baseball poison.... from a dad that knows!

Here's another voice of experience, voting for the poison category. Very hard to maintain grades, work hard at baseball, and keep the girl friend happy, especially if she is whiney, emotional, or both. At least one of the three (ball, school, girl) will suffer, and usually it's not the girl....

POISON


Here is the proof!



Play every game as if it were your last

quote:

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Originally posted by BeenthereIL:
Watching baseball for more than 40 years is my source of information....

In high school, girls are bad for baseball players...not because of the "physical" side of things, but rather because of the emotional gymnastics that they play with a kids mind.

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BeenthereIL, With all due respect, I agree with you to a point but, I would rather deal with some minor emotional trauma in High school than after moving on to college. It would seem to me that these learning experiences are part of maturation.

We watched ours do some gut wrenching growth with a girl who thought that the best time for some attention was to break up just before an important game. We watched him handle it in an admirable manner and not let it affect his game. It would appear that the games were a respite from his situation. He also made the correct decision on his own to boot her to the curb. He told us that it was not worth the hassle.

Unless all of this is affecting a son's normal life , I would not interfere. If we pressure our children too much, they have a tendancy to push us away. Be there if they need you though.



"There is among us a far closer relationship than the purely social one of a fraternal organization because we are bound together not only by a single interest but by a common goal. To win. Nothing else matters, and nothing else will do." Sandy Koufax

quote:

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Originally posted by bball06:
as of right now ive been doin better with a gf cuz i want 2....

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I'm glad I read this sentence to the end

As with anything moderation is the key. It is pretty tough to juggle school, family, friends, baseball, and a girlfriend. It's a choice that all young men with testosterone levels peaking are struggling with. The more we observe the relationship the better I feel that our son is maturing. Overall, girlfriends and baseball do not mix well. It is the players decision on what to focus on, as tough as that may be. Good luck

"Bobby Bouche, didn't I tell you girls was the devil?"

Son of lhpmom here:

BigWI-

Loved the proof. It's my language (I'm a lover of mathematics).

Baseball can get me further in life than any female can. The reason my relationships don't last much more than 5 minutes is when they realize they'll take a backseat to baseball.

My idea of the perfect woman is one that can throw me B.P, hit ground balls, and catch my fastball. She would be blond with an IQ above 180.
Even then she'll have to be left-handed.
(I just don't get those righties?!)

I don't understand it, I still haven't found her!

Even when I find her, she'll still be second to baseball. If she wants to be up there with baseball, she'll have to fight for a spot in the lineup.


More seriously, Girls won't get you a pro contract, college scholarship (unless they're in the admissions office), or anywhere in baseball. Only dedication and hard work can get you there.

My '04 son has had the same girl-friend for 3 years. She is 110% supportive of him. She fully understands how important baseball is to him. She know when to give him space and when to be there for him. Not all girls are trouble. This one is a remarkable young lady, very mature and level headed for 17 years old.

nm.

My son had a GF last year during season and she was real good about the whole thing and came to every game and never made demands on him. He liked her being at every game. Poor thing he never saw her much.
They parted ways in the summer and last fall he had his first experience with being more infatuated with a girl than she with him and when they broke up in january he was a mess for a while, glad it was not during BB because I am sure he would have not been focused. I noticed that this year some of the boys who have steady GF are not playing as well. I definetly feel it can have negative effects on young men of 16, 17, 18 who have elevated levels of testosterone.
Love the math equation.

Women weaken legs!!!!!!! Seriously, I have seen it both ways. If the player is mature and can handle it, no problem. If a player thinks he is in love, well...maybe his younger brother will work out!

This is an interesting and entertaining thread. My 04 son has a new girlfriend (2+ months), and in his case it has not had a negative effect on his focus on pre-season workouts. But she is an athlete also, and seems to take a lot of interest in sports ... comes to all his basketball games, watches sports on TV with him at our house and asks questions about it. She seems remarkably down-to-earth and genuine, but I can imagine how having a girlfriend who played emotional games would have a negative effect on focus. (I just hope they don't break up during the baseball season!)

"My idea of the perfect woman is one that can throw me B.P, hit ground balls, and catch my fastball. She would be blond with an IQ above 180.
Even then she'll have to be left-handed.
(I just don't get those righties?!)

I don't understand it, I still haven't found her! "
Why don't ya just join a coed softball team?
I think it depends on the girl. I don't see why "girl" and "baseball" don't mix. What about football, s****r, and basketball? But I can sort of see the point. Guys and ballet or listening to Britney Spears don't mix. If guys play poor when they have a GF then something's wrong, but if you play as good or better with one, then you have a real bond. It's probably the same thing in general life. Then again I wouldn't know, I've never had a girlfriend. My HS had no one my kind and they ALL play emotional games anyway, I'd rather not get screwed over so I just never asked anyone out. It wouldn't have mattered, cause my HS's never had baseball teams.

"Attitude is a little thing that makes a BIG difference"

I believe if the girl has interest of her own that really helps. If the boyfriend is not the only thing she has going on. MY son's girlfriend plays volleyball, is class president and captain of the cheerleading team. She has alot of things to keep her busy, which gives him time to do what he needs to do. He does not have to feel bad for not being with her all the time. She is as busy as he is. I do wonder what will happen between them next year when he goes to college, she is a year behind him in school.

Paul Snyder former VP of Scouting & Player Development for the Braves said "We still lose more talented ballplayers to bad girlfriends, bad marriages,bad attitudes and alcohol and drug abuse than we do of ball players who just don't have enough ability to make the majors"

Could it be a case of the bad girlfriends & marriages causing the alcohol, drug abuse & bad attitudes?

Despite having a Mom, 3 older sisters & now being married for 19 years, every time I start thinking I know something about women I realize the one thing I truly know about women is I know nothing about women.

son of lhpmom here:
Underground-
I think I'll stick to baseball. I don't have the time, the patience, or the money to have a girlfriend. Baseball is my girlfriend (metaphorically). Baseball is like church, many attend, few understand. If you don't play it, you don't know what it's like to deal with distractions.

Hey all,

I read this topic and just started to laugh. I've been dating an awesome young lady for the last year and it's been one of the best years of my life.

I believe that everyone on here has made very good points. Most of the people posting on this topic seem to be parents. If you're a parent than you obviously have already been through the dating game and finally found your wife/husband. You probably started to date them in high school or college. I know my parents started to date junior year in high school. My dad gave up a full ride to Stanford to play football and stayed in Boulder to go to CU and played football here, all because my mom! I asked him if he was glad he stayed here instead of going to Stanford and he said "well you probably wouldn't be alive if I did go there" lol.

I know that this doesn't happen a lot. I know that a girl can make a guy make really dumb decisions. I personally believe it just depends on how mature the couple is and what they want to get out of the relationship. My advice to the players. If your dating someone right now and you don't see your relationship going anywhere and it's affecting your schoolwork, relationships with your other friends and your play on the field. It's not worth dating her.

I think the bottom line is that it depends on the person. I know parents out there that are very thankful that they have that husband/wife at home and would do anything for them. Parents, that's why you have to help the kid, you know what to look for in a good relationship or a bad one because you've been there. If your boy is throwing is dream out the door for a relationship that will probably end in a few months, tell him.

Relationships can be very good things for young man like myself. I know my girlfriend has broadened who I am as a person. She is really into the arts and well I was anti arts before meeting her. I think that relationships can be a huge blessing if handled correctly. If it isn't handled right it can turn into a big mess.

Tallman

My son has determined girls are way too much work. He is a sophomore in high school and they just don't really fit his schedule right now, he is busy with school and baseball, not much time for all the drama (his words not mine). However, if Paris Hilton came knocking that might change...

Paris Hilton needs to gain about 30 pounds to be a real woman.

Where is AParent??? ...lol
This is about so many excuses...
The blame game.
Why don't we teach our boys to make better choices?

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard

speaking of Gf's
funny scouting report on Jeff Francoer in Baseball Prospectus.

According to one league official Jeff Francouer had the hottest GF in the SALLY League.

Grow up, Dibble.
If there is any obsolete chance that you can do so..........

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard

Tell 'em, Chilly....

Is this heaven?...

quote:

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Originally posted by Chill:
Where is AParent??? ...lol
This is about so many excuses...
The blame game.
Why don't we teach our boys to make better choices?

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Chill, I think that this thread is mostly tounge-in-cheek and no one is really blaming the girls.

However, Boys typically do not make good choices when their hormones are raging.

Play every game as if it were your last

I can tell you about young men who walked out of very nice baseball scholarships to come home to the lady they thought they "loved"--and a short while after they got home they got DUMPED !!!!

TRhit

And, conversely, my daughter has had to
cut ties from very needy, yet fine young men
who are incapable of understanding the demands on involved scholar/athletes.

BigWI...the use of poison twice leads me to believe the men are in over their heads...lol.

______________________________
I will make errors this season.
Write it down....Derek Jeter

quote:

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Originally posted by Chill:
BigWI...the use of poison twice leads me to believe the men are in over their heads...lol.

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I think that is a given!

Play every game as if it were your last

Anything or anyone who takes away from your game...can be a distraction...that is obvious... I'd say...

it goes for girls or boys...

if it adds to the game, I say keep her or him...

A few years back, I knew of a guy who gave up major opportunities to stay at home close by...and play ball for the JUCO...which has a very good program...mostly he stayed for the girl in his hometown...

I talked to an old coach of his...he stated, "If So & SO...had had his head on staight he could have gone far...but his heart wasn't really ever in the game."

Somehow, distractions (or should I say girlfriends) are a lot like a box of chocolate...you never know what you're going to get...till you get to know them...

Glad mine told his girlfriend he's excited to leave this summer and looking forward to it...

This is coming from a mom who raised only boys...but I'm sure you can substitute the word boyfriend in their too....

Beenthere,
I turned on my son's PC to find Paris, spread eagle, as his wallpaper! Problem is I am used to seeing ones with more falling out of their bathing suit tops on here! What is the world coming too?

I just got back from a scouting trip and a couple of nights ago I was sitting with two scouts who had just gone through divorce. I have been married to a great gal for 30 years and asked them what it was like going through a tough divorce? One scout said something pretty funny..........he said basically you are buying a house for someone you hate.

Does having a girlfriend help or hurt your baseball performance. I believe it depends what effect the relationship is having on the player. Is it a calming force in his life? Is it a storm in his life? I think most of us agree from personal experiences that most kids at least at the High School level has very up and down relationships with young ladies. I cant see where this would help a player at all. But what are you going to do about it? Theres no way a parent can stop a young man from seeing a girl he wants to see. Raise your kids to the best of your ability and pray alot thats all you can do.

Amen Coach May. The most frustrating thing is that your son may heed your advice in many areas, but when it comes to matters of the heart, forget it. Ours went through a veritable train wreck in the fall, and finally lost the girl friend baggage over Christmas break, but while it was going on, our advice was neither desired nor welcome; even when their closest buddies are telling them the girl is bad news, their heart over-rules their ears.

About all you can do is pray, give gentle advice on the rare occasion when you can (lectures are a quick turnoff), encourage their buddies to keep trying, and pray some more. They really do have to learn this one for themselves. Two weeks after our son extricated himself from the mess (and finding the next girl does help them realize there can be more than one....) he was saying "I can't believe I was even thinking what I was thinking".

One tidbit that seems to have helped: I cautioned my son that when guys say the "L" word, they mean it differently than girls hear it, and to be very very frugal in using that powder keg of a word. (Guys mean it to apply to the present moment, and for the forseeable future, but the young lasses start envisioning wedding bells....)

Quick story.....Begining of last Spring my 16 yr old son ( a pitcher) had his first real girlfriend. They were hot and heavy. She was and evil cheerleader...LOl. Anyway as soon as summer ball started she broke up with him by not retuning calls and lying to him. He was hearbroken, came into my office and said he did not want to go to the game that night. He pitched the night before so he said the team would not miss him. Some of the players were from her home town. He has never not wanted to go to a game.

I said to him " son you had your heart broken eveyone goes thru that" What do most of the music you listen to talk about. ( he listens to Ledzepplin, The Doors , Almand Brothers, the classic rock )Most of the songs are about hearbreaks.... I told him "Baseball will always call you back and Baseball will never cheat on you"

He focused on baseball that summer and had a great year.

BBalldown south, Finally the voice of reason.Like every other possiblr roadblock to success on the field,Each Girlfreind stands alone. Could be a help or a hindrance. (Just look at the Moms and Dads out there-they can be as much of a problem as the GF)

Most young men who have the drive to play college baseball or go even further are so driven by what they want that they have no time for a GF and it never enters the picture

TRhit