Difficult topic, and no way we will end up with a concensus. But, it is more than important enough to discuss and debate. This post is hopefully food for thought for the "don't do it because it is "illegal" crowd." Admittedly, it is outside the "booze on recruiting trip" topic, but, hopefully addresses our thinking in general on this particular topic; what is the best approach for our sons?
I think it was "Futureback" who said that nothing good comes out of drinking and, basically, I agree. (However some pretty irrefutable studies demonstrate that regular alcohol consumption IN SMALL AMOUNTS (e.g. approx. 2 drinks per day) is actually quite healthy, emprically, for our species.) So how do we help our kids navigate between the societal pressures, from both sides, and a healthy life style?
Look at history. We had a situation, once upon a time, where the vast majority of Americans did not drink. It was a relatively simple matter to pass an amendment outlawing all consumption of alcohol in this country. What happened? Because it was "illegal" but not "unfashionable" drinking was introduced to, and became part of the lifestyle of, untold numbers of people who would not have bothered before. In other words, it became cool, quite possibly because it was illegal. By the time prohibition ended we had entirely new segments of society drinking alcohol.
The same might be said about drugs. During the 60's, 70's, 80's some of you parents out there may have indulged for awhile because, although it was illegal, it was fashionable. The imprimatur of illegality meant nothing to you because you knew that, basically, it was a stupid legal principle. You had experienced a thousand + kids go through all kinds of usage without problems, notwithstanding the dire consequences predicted by our collective parental units who, for the most part, had absolutely no experience in this arena. So what is the big deal, particularly when you were only a party user? Our parents were clueless, why should we listen to them? That is how many, if not most, of us felt. Given this, it is hard to ignore the hypocrisy of some of the parent generated stuff going on today. Why should our kids feel any differently than we felt?
I realize that many a present parent has taken an "anti-drug or alcohol" position because of their own experiences which were, all told, less than positive. But, we will never, ever, succeed in keeping our children, their kids, and so on, from these potential dangers by making the activity illegal. How many times are we allowed to ignore history before we ourselves are the biggest problem? In other words, what really upsets me is adding on to the potential problems drug or alcohol use could cause in small numbers of people, the incredible legal problems drug or alcohol use can now cause for all kids who happen to get caught, even if it is the first and only time they have ever gone down this road.
For example, I believe Bee is entirely correct historically. At one time all the states had different drinking age laws, some even differentiated between 3.2 beer and other kinds (levels) of alcohol. Then, as now, the best a parent could do was to explain, coach, cajole, a son or daughter about the consequences of what was legally available to them. They waited on pins and needles, just as we do today. One thing that a parent didn't have to worry about was the cost, trauma, loss of focus, ambition and hope, a son or daughter might now face when their fashionable, but recently illegal activity puts them in jail. However, the federal government (arguably illegally) decided to flex its financial muscles (as it did with the 55 mph speed limit) to tell every state what was best for them, or else.
The most important thing is to realize that this age limit stuff is entirely subjective. The age limit in New York when I grew up was 18. Here in Fla., back then, it was 21. I could have been arrested during our annual baseball trips to Fla. for something that was completely legal in my home state. More importantly, everybody on the team was used to dealing with the decision to drink or not to drink, and for the most part we just said no when there was a game the next day. I can say in no uncertain terms that the 18 year old citizens of New York did not suffer by comparison to other states because we had an 18 yr. old drinking age, while their drinking age was 21.
Now, as a parent, we need to worry not only about the serious consquences of drinking, (which are statistically tiny, but nevertheless important) but also the onerous legal consequences. I don't know how any parent of a teenager can be in favor of that. These often ridiculous laws are not going to stop our kids from doing what is fashionable. If we have any hope in this regard, it is to look at other cultures and realize that it doesn't have to be this way. It may take time and perhaps several generations of counseling. But, I believe this goal we all want is very important, and will never happen when some artificial governmental entity is standing over our shoulders with a threat.
For example, I have seen 12 year-old German boys drinking shoupers of beer after dancing for the patrons of a local establishment. It was no big deal. Their fathers' might work on the automobile factory floors where beer is also available at will. It is no big deal. Beer is sold in vending machines virtually everywhere (movie theaters, McDonald's etc), it is no big deal. Drinking alcohol is no big deal, getting drunk,... that is another story. I could go on to many other countries and cultures, but I am sure many of you have seen the same thing. We (the USA) may have a flaw in this matter which is a cultural imperative, not a legal issue. The bottom line, with education, cultural refocus etc., we should be able to handle this, just as other countries and societies have.
I brought my kids up in the American fashion. No booze until legal age, no small sips or celebratory drinks, and so on. I did not wish to give them the idea that, by my acquiescence to small amounts of alcohol, drinking was OK. In retrospect, it simply doesn't work. The topic needs to be demystified and most definitely decriminalized. My oldest child was a female athlete. For the prom they had organized a pre-party where the parents were invited to take pictures etc. It was a nice affair. The girls were beautiful, the boys were handsome, and they all, particularly the boys, seemed too young to even consider drinking etc. As we were leaving one of the Mom's shouted out: "OK, who are the designated drivers for tonight?" Several kids raised their hands, and she checked them out as they left. I was initially appalled at her suggestion that there would be any need for a designated driver. But, as I drove home, I was quite thankful for her perceptions, and many of those pins and needles I might otherwise have felt were put to rest. She was a lot smarter than I was.
As for baseball, you couldn't go into a pro locker room immediately after a game in the 60's, early 70's (and probably long before that) that wasn't thick with cigarette smoke, and populated by hundreds of empty beer bottles . Take a look now. Times have changed. Change is possible, but effective change comes from interest (team or self) not some government edict. Let us try to have the strength on issues like this to work for what will ultimately succeed, not what is expedient.
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