Emotions need not necessarily be seen by others but can be happening.
My wife at times tells me I have no feelings and am very cold but that is just me when it comes to the exterior-I am what I am--she has come to understand me and knows I will go thru a wall for our players.
My sons have been the same --non emotional on the exterior---we have players the same while others just explode at every bad call etc.
We are all different in how we cope with situations on the field and off---I do it my way--you do it your way--no problem
I don't see how someone WOULD NOT feel some kind of emotional pain after a tough loss. In my experience, the pain isn't just from the loss itself, but also from what comes with it.
My son's #1 ranked football team recently lost in the quarterfinals to the #3 team. A very good HS football game that went into OT and ended on a blocked PAT attempt.
A shockingly sudden way to lose the dream of a state championship, something that every kid in uniform, whether he played in the game or not, had focused on and worked for since mid-August. And for the 32 seniors on the team - for almost all of them, it was their last football game.
One moment the defense is ready to take the field for the 2nd OT, and the next moment the season, the career, is over.
Every single player was in tears, many of them were utterly disconsolate, sobbing openly and unashamedly (my son among them.) Hugging each other, telling each other how much they loved them. They were the only ones who could provide any measure of comfort to each other, because they all felt the same loss - the same sudden, crushing end to the goal they had all worked toward, focused on, cared about.
It wasn't really just about losing the game and the title chance - it was about a too sudden end to losing the daily brotherhood that is forged during the course of the season. No more every evening film sessions at Billy's house, where here was as much banter as there was film watching. No more weekly pre-practice "talent show" where the coaches perform some skit lampooning one or another player, and the players give it right back with a skit of their own lampooning a coach. No more post-practice "gassers" where they prove to each other that they can all run hard, no matter how tired they got during practice.
All ended on a fingertip touching a kicked football.
Don't tell me it is just a game. It wasn't the game.
It was the TEAM.
My son's #1 ranked football team recently lost in the quarterfinals to the #3 team. A very good HS football game that went into OT and ended on a blocked PAT attempt.
A shockingly sudden way to lose the dream of a state championship, something that every kid in uniform, whether he played in the game or not, had focused on and worked for since mid-August. And for the 32 seniors on the team - for almost all of them, it was their last football game.
One moment the defense is ready to take the field for the 2nd OT, and the next moment the season, the career, is over.
Every single player was in tears, many of them were utterly disconsolate, sobbing openly and unashamedly (my son among them.) Hugging each other, telling each other how much they loved them. They were the only ones who could provide any measure of comfort to each other, because they all felt the same loss - the same sudden, crushing end to the goal they had all worked toward, focused on, cared about.
It wasn't really just about losing the game and the title chance - it was about a too sudden end to losing the daily brotherhood that is forged during the course of the season. No more every evening film sessions at Billy's house, where here was as much banter as there was film watching. No more weekly pre-practice "talent show" where the coaches perform some skit lampooning one or another player, and the players give it right back with a skit of their own lampooning a coach. No more post-practice "gassers" where they prove to each other that they can all run hard, no matter how tired they got during practice.
All ended on a fingertip touching a kicked football.
Don't tell me it is just a game. It wasn't the game.
It was the TEAM.
quote:I don't see how someone WOULD NOT feel some kind of emotional pain after a tough loss. In my experience
They all want to win. The pain come from not meeting your realistic or unrealist expectations. It is how you learn to deal with failure that sets you apart from those who go over the top and get bent out of shape.
All ball players experience failure and I don't care how good you are.
A poster sent me an article about a famous Poker player who just died. The thing that stuck me was everyone commented on how even his emotions were. That Poker Face and ability to show no swing in emotions was the thing that made him so great. It professionalism. Doesn't mean he was upset about the games he blew it means he was in control of his emotions. To me a pitcher needs that control. Showing your emotions when you are struggling feeds the opponents batters.
quote:Don't tell me it is just a game. It wasn't the game.
It was the TEAM.
Very nice story Rob and I got emotional reading it.
When my son was a junior, his team made it to the state championship game. He had an error in the game which led to a big inning and we lost 6-2. He was inconsolable after the game and you could see his eyes were red and tears were flowing. The next day in the paper, the whole front page of the sports section was a picture of him with tears in his eyes.
After the game, one mean-spirited lady said loud enough for us to hear that if it were not for the error we would have won the game. As we were standing there and about the same time this lady made her comment, a very respected baseball person in our community who had played briefly in the big leagues and had won a national championship at Arizona State approached my son. He put his hands around him with tears in his own eyes and told him that if it were not for my son, we would have never even made it to that game. I will never forget what he did and I believe he saved my son's baseball career at that moment. His kind gesture brought a tear to my eye. In those brief moments, we saw the dark side and the good side of baseball.
The following year made up for the hurt of the previous spring. We graduated every player on the team except the one who left the field in tears the previous spring. Nobody expected anything from our team. I told my son I was going to judge his performance by how well the team played. He took my challenge and the team caught lightning in a jug. Our pitchers were low 80's guys who were not afraid to throw strikes. We were a small ball team who could catch the ball when it was hit. My son saw to it that nobody was afraid to make a mistake and the team played loose as a result. Every kid learned how to watch the other guy's back on that team.
That team, who nobody expected anything from, scrapped its way back into the state championship semi-finals. We came up one game short of the final game having lost to the eventual state champions. After the game, he had tears in his eyes. I told him there was no reason for tears because he had done everything humanly possible to lead that team to a place nobody expected. It brought a tear to my eye too because I knew how hard he and the team had tried.
I agree with TrHit, a kid can lose and still be a winner if he gives it everything he has.
The only losers are the people afraid of failure so they never try.
Not to change directions but in recruiting, I would assume that a college coach needs to evaluate players on an emotional level also. You have to have some players that bring that rah, rah emotion as well as others who posses a certain emotional calmness.
I would imagine this is an important factor in building team chemistry.
You can't have 35 roster players that possess high emotions and energy levels and 35 roster players that show no emotion and low energy level. You also need to have some "clowns" on the team and others who rarely crack a smile to make things really work.
JMO.
I would imagine this is an important factor in building team chemistry.
You can't have 35 roster players that possess high emotions and energy levels and 35 roster players that show no emotion and low energy level. You also need to have some "clowns" on the team and others who rarely crack a smile to make things really work.
JMO.
Cleveland Dad, those were very powerful stories. Thanks so much for sharing.
My son's high school coach wears his emotions on his sleeve. When someone makes a bonehead mistake, he yells -- not at the player, but the mistake. When one of the infielders was hospitalized last year, the coach got up to talk during the annual baseball banquet and couldn't hardly utter a word, he was so choked up. Tears began streaming down his face, and we all realized at that point just what his players meant to him. In the playoffs last spring, he cried in the locker room after every single game -- whether the team won or lost -- because he was passionate about the game. I know this is not his motive, but I believe his emotions serve to inspire the players he coaches.
My son's high school coach wears his emotions on his sleeve. When someone makes a bonehead mistake, he yells -- not at the player, but the mistake. When one of the infielders was hospitalized last year, the coach got up to talk during the annual baseball banquet and couldn't hardly utter a word, he was so choked up. Tears began streaming down his face, and we all realized at that point just what his players meant to him. In the playoffs last spring, he cried in the locker room after every single game -- whether the team won or lost -- because he was passionate about the game. I know this is not his motive, but I believe his emotions serve to inspire the players he coaches.
From the time the kids were little I told them this is the moment they signed up for. This is fun. Players don't dream of one sided wins. They dream of making the big play in the big moment.quote:Originally posted by theEH:
It's very emotional watching your player on the field in a tight situation. It can fill you with such joy, and tear your heart out at the same time.
I believe you'll find any athlete who plays a sport for any period of time and level of success will look back more on the people he took the journey with than the journey itself. When I'm with former teammates we hardly talk about the games. We talk about the good times we had. We talk about the characters. Everyone does their imitiations of others.quote:Originally posted by Tiger Paw Mom:
I think that is what we are talking about, I think that type of emotion tells a lot about a person and your passion and love for the game and your teammates, fans and life in general.
For those who have never felt those emotions, I truely feel bad that you have not experienced those feelings.
Team sports are an interesting dynamic for parents. I watched my mother become very good friends with people she never would have come in contact with in her world. I'm sure it made her a better person.
Then, boom! It all ends. We all head off in different directions for the rest of our lives.
Brett Favre obviously isn't a baseball player, but I just read a great quote by him in the current issue of Sports Illustrated that speaks of the value of failure and emotional pain:
"Ask Favre for his own favorite memory, and he is quiet for a moment. 'I've got so many plays running through my mind,' he says, finally. 'The funny thing is, it's not only about the touchdowns and the big victories. If I were to make a list, I would include the interceptions, the sacks, the really painful losses. Those times when I've been down, when I've been kicked around, I hold on to those. In a way those are the best times I've ever had, because that's when I've found out who I am. And what I want to be.'"
"Ask Favre for his own favorite memory, and he is quiet for a moment. 'I've got so many plays running through my mind,' he says, finally. 'The funny thing is, it's not only about the touchdowns and the big victories. If I were to make a list, I would include the interceptions, the sacks, the really painful losses. Those times when I've been down, when I've been kicked around, I hold on to those. In a way those are the best times I've ever had, because that's when I've found out who I am. And what I want to be.'"