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I have always wondered WHAT on earth I was doing to myself (healthwise) when I sit at a game--time after time, heart pounding, as son is on the mound, trying--for example-- to hold the tying run on 3rd in an important game (they are all important Smile ). People come up to me (and the other pitchers' parents) afterward and say things like "I don't know how you do it". I mean, I LOVE it, and yet it is SO stressful, so often! I know this has been the subject of many a thread before, but....

Sigh--this NY Times article is not too encouraging.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/31/diehard-sports...0f3ddaa34&ei=5087%0A
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Embrace the stress! let it flow through you and over you. Let it exhilarate you
Repeat over and over to yourself..This is pretty darn exciting!

aww nevermind this never worked for me.

One of the first things I do when I get to a game where my boy is starting is look for my counterpart. I usually spot him or her in less than 5 minutes.

How do we do it? I'm not sure we always do and I wouldn't have it any other way. But those games where it seems we live and die on every pitch sure are exhausting Big Grin
LOL to all of you!

Every year I think it will get easier and every year in fact it gets harder. I can be having a perfectly lovely day at the ballpark, chatting, soaking up the sun, and I see SomeoneIKnow trotting down to the bullpen (and of course everyone around me has to then poke me and say, "He's down in the bullpen" as if I weren't the first to notice) and my heart starts to race and.....

But of course I can hardly wait for the season to begin Big Grin
Last edited by Bordeaux
Bordeaux! It's so nice to see your post...stressful as it is. Wink

My son was often a closer and on the occasions when he would come into the game I would then wander around our half of the ballpark and pick up trash...keeping an eye on the game.

Most of the ballparks, or our half at least, were very clean following the game. Of course the level of cleanliness depended on the initial amount of trash and the number of innings that my son pitched.

I might suggest one strategy to keep your stress level down somewhat. I've never tried this, but I've seen many, many players' younger siblings (primarily brothers) looking like this at games...totally oblivious to the action on the field.

They may as well be in Uruguay or Madagascar for the amount of attention they give to the game...





.
...of course sometimes these games may actually elevate someone's level of stress. But there are ways to deal with that event as well...




.
Last edited by gotwood4sale
Boy, did THIS thread hit home rather quickly and hard. I had forgotten about this stress since last summer and now can feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up just thinking about it!

Thanks a lot Bordeaux!

With my son going off to pitch and play 3B at least I know that I will be able to enjoy 2/3 of the games.

1/3 of games - Pitching
1/3 of games - 3B
1/3 of games - Bench

Other 1% going to concession stand and bathroom!
How about the effects of being a pitchers mom's best friend?

" SSMom,...you go watch and tell me how he's doing while I sit behind this tree and hide under my scorebook. "...says my best friend.

Of course I oblige.
No wonder I am the one with the ulcer! Wink

The stress is contagious, and you dont even have to be blood related to the pitcher himself,....just a fellow baseball mum and poof,....there goes all sanity! Big Grin
I think the best way to relax at a game is to realize there is not one thing you can do to change the out come of the game. Its all up to the players on the field.

This insight game after years of pacing behind bleachers,crossing fingers,keeping my foot on a cooler for an entire game because they started losing when I took it off and actually moving people in the stands back to the seats the had when we were winning or to new ones when we were losing!!!

PS Lamaze classes help!
Last edited by njbb
quote:
Originally posted by njbb:

and actually moving people in the stands back to the seats the had when we were winning or to new ones when we were losing!!!



We have a player dad here who is superstitious about sitting down/standing up....moving here or there, etc. but I gotta say THAT is about the funniest one I have EVER heard! I busted a gut when I read that!

I guess that would kinda be like watching a half time show at a baseball game....

Say it ain't so Elzey!
Krak,

I could've written that post!

My wife doesn't even like to come to the pressure games any more.

I go expecting to enjoy them, then I get wrapped around the axle during them, then I get to exhale after.

If you want relaxation, go watch a friend's son's game. It's amazing how relaxing and enjoyable a game is when you don't sweat every pitch wondering if your son is about to encounter adversity. And while dealing with adversity is a big thing to learn for his future (and not just for baseball), we parents all wish there would never be any, don't we?

It's not realistic, but it's natural for parents to feel that way.

P.S.

Congrats on the Trinity commit! We have a friend whose son is a LHP there, and he has really enjoyed it.
[QUOTE]Originally posted by YoungGunDad:

We have a player mom here who is superstitious about sitting down/standing up....moving here or there, etc. but I gotta say THAT is about the funniest one I have EVER heard! I busted a gut when I read that!


I resemble that remark. Big Grin

True story, first year in college, I left the stands and upon returning my friend's son hit his first HR of the year. Another time I left, we were down and came back ahead and won. So began my job as the sacrificial parent who walked out when things were not going well and often hear, please leave so son can get a HR. 9 times out of 10 it worked.
As far as a pitchers parent, I often remove myself from the stand for a better position to see where the ball is coming in, and just to avoid those stares during those tense moments, and to remove myself from son's craziest and loudest fan, Mr. TPM. Wink
Last edited by TPM
There is nowhere else I'd rather be, other than heaven, than at the baseball field watching my son pitch. And if I go to heaven while I'm there, so be it. I'm where I want to be and I love it. Getting the heart rate up without physical exercise -- that has to count for something, right? I start each new season with a mindset that I'm going to stay calm, but when my son heads to the mound my heart starts racing and my prayers start going up. OP (only pitcher) parents also have to learn to enjoy the whole game, and every game because, usually, if their son doesn't pitch he doesn't play. Our sons have been blessed with a gift from above that is not given to all. If pitching was easy, everybody would do it. Pitchers are leaders to a baseball team just like a quarterback is to a football team. If they have faith and confidence in themselves, they can move mountains. And, if I die before I wake [before the game is over], I pray the Lord my soul to take -- [to a baseball field in heaven]. Let us all enjoy the stress because our boys will be grown soon enough. We could miss the pain *stress] but we'd also have to miss the dance. So, enjoy the dance!!
My son won't even let me get in his sight when toeing the rubber. I can't quite figure out if it's more of a benefit for me than him! I'm sure it is.

When he is on 3B I can sit back with the friends and smoke a cigar and relaaaaaaax.

I can relate to the comment about "he's in the bullpen". As if I didn't see him walking to it and my stomach began the slow, aching churn of what that meant. ugh.
In a state playoff game last year Little Double Eagle plays first for six innings (it is amazing how those games are so much less intense)and comes in to close out a two run lead. Up to this time he has only started and he had pitched six innings four days earlier. Mrs. Double Eagle and I have to leave our seats because up til now we are sitting directly behind home plate, right in the sight line of the pitcher.
When we get up to move most of fans yell that it will be bad luck to switch seats when we are winning. When we offer up the sight line issue there is general consenus that moving under these circumstances will be tolerated. After we win I ask my son about his take on where we were sitting. "I had no idea where you were the entire game. I didn't see anyone sitting behind home plate!"
“There is nowhere else I'd rather be, other than heaven, than at the baseball field watching my son pitch. And if I go to heaven while I'm there, so be it. I'm where I want to be and I love it”

JKKmom: I could never figure out how to express how much I love watching my son play baseball, but you just did it for me. As the Mom of a quarterback and a pitcher I can say a really big “AMEN” to that.

This is how I handle being a pitcher’s Mom (or don’t handle it)
Tums/Rolaids, and I sit very far away from anyone else. I let every one else find their spot, then I find mine (then I pace). I do not want to “chat” while my kid is pitching and I also don’t want to hear negative comments about my kid or any other kid for that matter (I will take a head off). Other than that, I am a really, really, nice person (LOL)
I have a bracelet, one of those "italian charm" bracelets that has PMS on one link, a baseball on the next, a glove next, baby boy blue foot print, American flag and so on. I get alot of looks as I rub my PMS and the baseball.... PMS= Pitcher MOM Syndrome!!

Actually I don't get nervous, haven't for years. I hurt for them if they are not doing well, do for ANY pitcher for that matter. He's a big boy and does what he does.
quote:
Originally posted by YoungGunDad:
My son won't even let me get in his sight when toeing the rubber. I can't quite figure out if it's more of a benefit for me than him! I'm sure it is. I never did either but that was because many of the parents who had no idea of the big picture sat there and there's nothing worse than an "armchair quarterback" For me it was the at the fence on the LF line 20ft behind the infield. You see the who game and you get to enjoy what all 9 players, the batter, the umps, and the coaches are doing.

I can relate to the comment about "he's in the bullpen". As if I didn't see him walking to it and my stomach began the slow, aching churn of what that meant. ugh.
I got tricked into doing the PA a couple times. I thought it was for my booming sultry voice but the coach said it was because I had a face made for radio. After my 2nd game my son told me to keep my day job because I always forgot to turn off the mic and there were kids in the crowd.
My oldest stopped pitching at age twelve, but played three sports in high school and is a college outfielder. Without pitching there have been enough pressure moments. My youngest, a high school freshman pitches, plays point in basketball and goalie in s****r. He often has a large impact on the outcome of the game.

The right approach came to me when I was coaching ten year olds in basketball several years ago. The team was down by a basket with seven seconds left. I could see the fear in the huddle. I smiled at them and said, "You did not sign up to play in blowouts. They're too easy. You sign up to play sports to live for these moments. Sometimes you will win. Sometimes you will lose. But play the game, live for the game and love the game for these moments."

I've carried this view all the way through with the oldest and now the youngest. Maybe it comes from having K'ed the final out with the winning runs on base, and also watching the ball sail over the fence in the bottom of the last from the mound, along with many other highs and lows in high school and college sports. The only way to feel the high is to experience the pressure.
For some reason I never ever felt any pressure watching my son pitch and my son pitched up until his junior year in HS

I also never felt pressure watching him hit or play centerfield.

I truly liked to seem him hit in a 2 out bases loaded sitruation when the game was on the line---why ??? very simple I had confidence in what he could and would do just as he had the same confidence in himself---he wanted the pressure situations

If he didnt get nervous and stessed why should I?--
quote:
Originally posted by TRhit:
For some reason I never ever felt any pressure watching my son pitch ...

I also never felt pressure watching him hit or play centerfield 3B. ...

... very simple I had confidence in what he could and would do just as he had the same confidence in himself---he wanted the pressure situations

If he didn't get nervous and stressed why should I?--






I also liked reading about Little Double Eagle's focus and response. Players have to tune out everyone else. It shouldn't matter where a parent sits as long as they aren't interfering with their player.

I wonder if my umpiring when infidel_son was younger helped him develop that focus. He hated when I was behind the plate. But, he had to persevere.
Last edited by infidel_08
Anyway, back to the article, I have often wondered what all that heart-pounding is doing to me. I DO try the yoga breathing but have not yet tried breathing through my eyelids Big Grin (thank you for that sensible suggestion) You have all given me excellent suggestions on how to calm my beating heart...although I can pretty much guarantee that my pulse will be at its usual 150 come the 9th inning of a close game Smile

You probably can't teach an old dog new tricks, sigh...
Bordeaux,

I've seen you watch your son pitch: an outward utter picture of calmness. It's the inside part that goes a thousand miles an hour. Try visualization: would you rather be in the midst of an all out truly ugly battle in your day job over the most insignificant piece of pettiness that one can imagine....or watching David pitch?

A no brainer. I'm glad my two no longer pitch, but after years of watching them, I must confess I still close my eyes sometimes on a big at bat...then turn to my wife and say "what happened?"
I am sure that some people enjoy the pitching experience. I always sat directly behind home plate and often videoed my son's game. He couldn't care less if I was there. We both knew he was going to have good and bad outtings so I rarely reacted either way.
Once a coach at the lower age level asked me not to sit there while my son pitched. I told him that if he can't pitch with his biggest fan sitting there what will he do with scouts pointing radar guns at him ? He agreed and said it was okay. I told him if my son was having a bad outting I would consider moving. I aked my son if it bothered him and he said he didn't notice anything but the batter. Couldn' care less. I held back any urge to react to percieved bad calls etc. I just enjoyed the game.
I like to take photos too. Son never notices me. When did you take these? um, while you were pitching! Smile Got a entry level video camera. I'll have a lot to do while the games are being played.

What bothers me more than anything can be parent comments. Son was moved to the 6 or 7 slot one game. He came up, and the other side (I was at their side clicking away) was saying easy out - banged a double. ha!
Don't be insulted. Cherish their embarassment. My son batted 1, 2 or 9 on his 14U travel team. They rotated since all three were capable of hitting at the top. One game the #8 crushes a homer into the left field screen. Up steps my son. He was 5'4", 115 at the time. The outfielders moved back due to the last hit. The coach came to the top step of the dugout and yelled, "Move in! This runt isn't going to drive the ball! He's the freak'n #9 hitter." My son was halfway between second and third on his way to an inside the park homer when the ball was being retrieved at the 390 sign.
I wasn't insulted. He was leaving the team. It was this past fall and he can't play this spring. (high school) We told the coaches they needed to rely on other players. It was all good. He got better pitches at 6 or 7 that's for sure.

He is a young 14, and maybe we made a mistake, but we didn't get into "travel" until he was 12. He has played up when other teams needed an extra player, but has always played his age group - this fall the team played up in most tourneys.

Sounds like your son had a great hit!

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