Helicopter Parents - from a college dean

       
       
And???  This is significant because?

Okay.  Then what is it that you would like?

I tried to be nice and just say we all have our own opinions...  I really don't like being told I am 'projecting'.  And though I am no expert in these matters wouldn't that mean taking your own issues and purporting them to be another's?  So that would mean I am really elitist and 'projecting' that onto her?  Not sure how I am elitist...  but whatever.  Bottom line is I don't care for her views.  You do.  I do not criticize you for supporting her, why would you criticize me for being her detractor?  I don't like her tone.  I am very comfortable with that.

Facts, something other than a made up story about johnny at little league or that "a whole generation is ruined by parents" story by an assistant dean at Stanford based on her view of incoming Stanford freshman.

 

We live in the greatest time ever for humans on earth.  We are happier, healthier, richer, have more leisure time and a longer life expectancy than anytime in history.  

 

Here an example:  An average american retires at 62.  A hundred years ago the average american died at 51.

Well...since you mentioned elitist.  I see where you decry elitism in the case of the author's personality, but in other places you have stated that you essentially are striving for elitism yourself.   You want to be the rich guy.  You say "Money does buy happiness."  You want to provide perks for your kids that others don't necessarily get, e.g., respect for money and knowledge of how to get and hold money.  You also want your kids one day to be sitting around the table after golf complaining about how bad it is to own the business... like the elitists do.   I am a bit curious as to how you justify the two contrary positions.

I saw a car commercial last night, kid was maybe 8 or 9, dad is walking his little football player back to the car thinking in his head "Participant, why does the trophy say participant, his team beat all the other teams, why does he HAVE to get the same trophy as everyone else?"

 

Father flicked off the plate that said "participant" and wrote in black sharpie "CHAMPS"

Now THAT's elitist.

One more thing on the 'we' thing...  This is a text I received from one of my former players.

Mr P
it was so great seeing you and meeting the family!!
Anytime you guys can make a game in (mlb city deleted for privacy) please let me know!  Great seeing you coach, we made it!

I can not tell you how moving it was for me that his time in our program meant so much to him that he included me in his success.  Obviously the success is all his.  And I do understand the statement would be different were it I using the 'we' but bottom line is being part of something larger than yourself is lauded in so many ways...  It's not wrong or unhealthy to work together as a we to achieve a goal.  'We' just all have different ways of expressing ourselves.  Not right or wrong just different.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/...-kids_n_3472719.html

 

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/4556...-young/#.VjO8Uy-FPIU

 

 

http://www.askcoachwolff.com/2...concern-and-growing/

 

http://www.sciencedaily.com/re.../03/100310083443.htm

 

http://www.athleticbusiness.co...ning-popularity.html

 

http://www.theguardian.com/uk/.../06/schools.children

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/com...o-much-pressure.html

 

This one ought to give you a great primer on the growth of parental oppressiveness.  Hint, it started in the 1960s with the Self-Esteem movement.

http://www.theatlantic.com/edu...an-childhood/279868/

. 

 

Here are a few articles for you to look at. But, I would not be so quick to just casually sweep away the ever increasing reports by school administrators, sports coaches, psychologists and even orthopedic surgeons telling us that there are a lot of parents out there who are just ridiculous.  They are in positions to observe and experience not only numerous cases, but to also get a sense of various changes that have occured over time. They are in a very good position to offer far more than anecdotal thoughts.  

 

You can't tell me you haven't run across this change yourself.    Yesterday's parent at the Little League game whom the other parents sort of laughed at with others behind their back are today's common parent.

 

P.s.

 

As to children today being the happiest generation, the matter is highly debatable.

Ok TE, you win. I'm unplugging. I'm selling my house, pulling my kids out of school and going to live off the grid in the desert.  No more school, sports, band, ipads, cell phones for my kids.  Too much pressure.  Going to drink from the spring and hunt my food.  No more immunizations, doctors and that crazy stuff. Also going to liquidate my retirement, give it to Huffington Post b/c they tell it straight.

 

Guess what I'm really wishing for is the good old days when all I had to worry about was my kids getting polio or influenza, starving, wife dying from child birth, war, infant mortality and all the simple things in life.  Ahh the good old days.

       
       
Its really hard to know when to let go of these threads...  probably should have already, this is going in an uncomfortable direction.  Notice though I have not yet personally insulted you or your opinions?  I really try hard on here to debate and disagree without bashing or insulting others.  Your name is teaching elder.  Don't obviously know but guessing you may be a teacher?  Me too.  I would like to think we are open minded people.  Not sure why one of us has to be right and one of us has to be wrong.  Respecting differences?  But though I have tried to just say we have different opinions and that's ok you seem bent on not leaving it at that.  Why?  So here goes.  I never said or implied I want to be elite.  I also did not imply that I want to have tons of money in fact I alluded to the fact its a little late in the game for me.  Yes I have hopes my children will be wealthy and have a secure life - does that somehow make me odd?  And I went out of my way to emphasize and re-emphasize I would hope my children would also be charitable.  Wealth is a matter of dollars and cents.  Elitism is a matter of attitude please do not confuse the two.  I am not and have no desire to be elitist and I certainly would hope for better from my children.  So I have to ask you elder, why such an ax to grind?

Ha ha. No. A Teaching Elder is another word for a pastor in the Presbyterian church. 

Anyway, I am inclined to at least drop our part of the conversation as well.  However, I will say that this is a conversation board. People share opinions and ideas. If your idea strikes some as off base, you likely will hear something about it. That doesn't make them closed minded any more than your original comments were closed minded.  It's just opinion.

Anyway, best to you and your family.  Sounds like most of them are doing pretty well from your comments.