Heres to You Mr High School Baseball Watcher!

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Originally posted by Marklaker:
PROUD VET GUY....stands so ramrod straight during the National Anthem he could crack walnuts between his cheeks. Stares transfixed at Old Glory and won't break his communion until at least two full seconds after the last note. Known to cast a withering glare at anyone who fails to remove their cover or talks above a whisper.

Disclaimer: I'm a retired vet and a pretty good fit for this caricature.

I wish more people were like this. Not removing your hat and covering your heart is unacceptable. Talking is unnecessary as well. There is very little to say that can not wait 5 minutes. This is a big pet peeve of mine.

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Originally posted by redbird5:

quote:

Originally posted by Marklaker:
PROUD VET GUY....stands so ramrod straight during the National Anthem he could crack walnuts between his cheeks. Stares transfixed at Old Glory and won't break his communion until at least two full seconds after the last note. Known to cast a withering glare at anyone who fails to remove their cover or talks above a whisper.

Disclaimer: I'm a retired vet and a pretty good fit for this caricature.

I wish more people were like this. Not removing your hat and covering your heart is unacceptable. Talking is unnecessary as well. There is very little to say that can not wait 5 minutes. This is a big pet peeve of mine.

this is a fun thread..thanks for the laughs

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Originally posted by luv baseball:
As a Back of the Bleachers guy...it's becasue I sit on my butt all day so coming to the ballfield and sitting on the wooden bleachers for another couple of hours isn't in the cards. It's been a very long time since anyone thought I was cool... including me. Just ask my kids!

I am with you on that one, ESPECIALLY. my kids thinking I am cool

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Originally posted by chefmike7777:

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Originally posted by luv baseball:
As a Back of the Bleachers guy...it's becasue I sit on my butt all day so coming to the ballfield and sitting on the wooden bleachers for another couple of hours isn't in the cards. It's been a very long time since anyone thought I was cool... including me. Just ask my kids!

I am with you on that one, ESPECIALLY. my kids thinking I am cool

Okay I'll admit it..my quote about the bleachers was aimed at several people I know. Trust me...their backs aren't tired.

I feel your pain literally. My Dad calls me weekly ..always mentions something hurts, then always throws it in..."So how you feeling as you're getting older..that ankle still hurt?"

Gee Thanks Dad..I almost forgot about that.

Actually I normally stand up the entire game. Normally I have to move several times. I made the mistake of explaining a play, and the rule that accompanied it..ONE TIME......And the rest of the season I got approached with questions. I'll never make that mistake again.

Ahhh, Rules guy. In my experiance there are two main flavors:

1) Actually know them and can explain the Infield fly and the reason it exists.

2) Doesn't know anything and will give you the it "can't be an infield fly because it was on the grass" stuff.

I can spend a whole game with the first guy and it seems to go by in a flash and two batters with the second guy makes me want to set my hair (what's left of it) on fire.

Great thread...sometimes, it gets a little serious here...and we all can appreciate a thread like this one!

Went through 11 pages and did not see Talent Guy. You know the guy breaking down each batters swing, pitchers mechanics, fielding, base running or lack of. Pretty much omnipresent at any baseball venue.

Mr. Grill Crew guy.

Six guys set up an assembly line to do a job that any one of them could do by himself. One guy pries the frozen patties apart and peels off the wax paper. Mr. Chief Cook mans the spatula, but briefly steps aside after placing the meat on the grill in deference to Mr. Revered Bearer of the Secret Seasoning Shaker Can. Mr. Bread Man lays out the bottom buns on the assembly table and deals out the top buns as the burgers are served. Mr. Wrapper Man can usually cover more than 90% of each burger with his hastily wadded foil sheets. And Mr. Just-In-Time Long Haul Logistics Man carries the burgers to the snack bar for sale to the general public.

When Mr. Flask Smuggler Guy infiltrates the crew, the size of the crew can double.

Don't think anyone has mentioned this guy - Sign Stealer Guy. We had a dad that would stand to the side of the backstop and try to pick up the other team's signs. Eventually he would figure them out, and try to signal to our batters what pitch was coming.

Mr Father Knows Best?

Years ago when I coached travel ball, there was a Dad (on another team) who would tell his switch hitting son which side of the plate to hit from. The kid was a pretty good hitter, but I always got a kick out of watching/listening to his father tell him to bat righty or lefty based upon the pitching match up. On occassion he would tell the boy to bat from the same side as the pitcher which made no sense. I'm hoping the father broke out of this habit.

BTW....I've re-read these posts in anticipation of the upcoming college and high school season. There are some absolute beauties in here. By far, it is my favorite thread.

Great stuff hear! Just getting started in school ball so I can't wait to meet a few more of these folks. Unfortunately I have seen quite a few of them and admittedly at a time or two have been one of these guys-I especially like the Grill crew.

I have scanned through most of this thread and can't believe I can not find Mr Scoreboard watcher guy. If this has been mentioned-I apologize and would love to find it.

This is the guy who is faster than the speed of light when it comes to the scoreboard. The scoreboard operator has got to be somewhat of a clairvoyant in order to stay ahead of this guy. He is pointing out balls and strikes before the ump can take a breath.
GOD help the scorekeeper if he does not put up a run the minute it crossed the plate. Even worse if you make an error you might have a riot on your hands. Unless of course the error is in his teams favor then you don't hear a peep.

The newest species is Mr. Smart Phone. He is in constant contact with friends at the school's JV game and at other games involving teams in your district, and he provides updates as if he were the crawl that is always running under the game on ESPN.

Related to Flask Smuggler is the Special Flavor Gatorade Guy. He takes an empty Gatorade bottle and dumps a couple of beers in there and then takes it out to the field.

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MidloDad said....The newest species is Mr. Smart Phone. He is in constant contact with friends at the school's JV game and at other games involving teams in your district, and he provides updates as if he were the crawl that is always running under the game on ESPN.

I've seen Mr Smart Phone use his communications device for more nefarious purposes at college games. College students use Smartphones to heckle opponents or get info about their personal lives from their college profile or Facebook. Last year, one school in particular made fun of my son's teammates father as an ambulance chaser. Not cool!

Hard to recognize without a pair of binoculars:

Mr. So Nervous When My Son Pitches That I Have to View The Game From 100 Yards Down the Right Field Line Guy.

Makes you wonder whether he's spectator or a sniper.

As Groucho Marx once said, "Hey, I resemble that remark!"

Hey slotty, that's my wife you’re talking about... and it is Mrs., but you wouldn’t know because she is 100 yds away. Mrs. Nervous makes me turn into Mr. Smart Phone... having to give Mrs. Nervous the play by play and the count, because she is so far away she can’t see or hear any of the game.

Any parents manage to make it to try outs?

why would you want to be at hs tryouts?

I think they have enough pressure on them without the embarrasment of having a Parent standing there watching. Although there were a couple at my Son's tryout last year

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Although there were a couple at my Son's tryout last year

How did you know?