Highs and Lows/Parental Support

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Here's hoping we all have nothing but 'highs' this season!

It would be nice but that is not how the game works. The lows come along with the highs. If it were all highs we would have guys hitting 1.000 and pitchers with 0.00 ERA's. The kids your son faces are on scholarship too and they all have families that want to see them succeed as well. Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes it eats you.

When my son first broke into the lineup at the collegiate level, it was almost hard for us to breath. We were frightened that he might make a mistake. We simply had to learn to get over those feelings and go with the flow. I watch big leaguers make mistakes all the time so I figured it was ok if my son made one every now and then.

One way to try and offer long distance support is to always try and find something to hang your hat on - find little mini victories even when things did not go your way. Maybe a pitcher was wild in the first couple of innings and gave up several runs. Maybe he settles down and pitches a gem the rest of the way out but the team still loses that day. In my way of thinking, there is something to build on and encourage the young man with. You can let him know that it took tremendous maturity not to just cash it in that day but grind it out and still give his team a "chance" to win. He may also have saved the bullpen that particular day. I personally do not try and find excuses for things (e.g., umpire wasn't calling my pitches for strikes, fielders not making plays) as I believe that hampers growth. There are millions of ways to find something postive from which to build.

I have learned not to try and cheer him up when he does not want to be. It is ok to be upset for a little while with a poor performance. Let them cool down a while and let them decide if they want to even call home that night. Humor helps things a lot.

bravo! well said.....

Thanks for asking the question. Many of us will benefit from the answers.

Cleveland Dad...
That was an EXCELLENT post.

I especially took heart to

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I have learned not to try and cheer him up when he does not want to be.

You must know my son! You hit his typical response right on the head. He also refuses to blame others, be it players or umpires. He's really hard on himself, but I never thought of seeing this as growth. I'm learning to trust him enough to let him work through his adversities. He's a man now and doesn't need us to solve his problems (we really never could). Pointing out a positive will realy help get the conversation going in a direction we can all tolerate!

Your entire post was very helpful. Thanks!

I think instead of offering support for a college player a parent might rather ask how he plans to fix it. What he thinks the problem is? How other players approach a "bad day"?

It sounds like the tough love approach but I feel at that time in a kids life, "support" comes in a different container than it did when he was at home in HS.

I can remember Feb 12 of 2006 my son called and said he just blew out his elbow, which I considered a "bad day". My first question to him was "Whats your plan and how can I help?"

It's all about communicating. Your support will find it's way out of the conversation.

All of our kids face diversity in this game of baseball. The key to me is to keep a fairly level state of mental thought throughout a season.

My son has loaded on his I-Pod a mental toughness program that he listens to routinely. I would say it has about 5 hours of audio contained in it.

It has really helped him over the highs and lows of the game and it even has a relaxation segment he sometimes uses at night to get a better night of rest before or after a big game.

You can PM me for a link to the program he uses, but I am sure there are others available.

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For those of you just starting out with a college player, you are about to be introduced to one of the most wonderful, most frustrating innovations known to man....

Gametracker.

Nice when you are 3000 miles (or 150 miles if you can't get off of work), but quite honestly, one of the most frustrating ways to try and "watch" a ballgame.

Do your homework. Get to know your organized or unorganized Parents Group, and try to get cell#'s of parents lucky enough to always be at the game... but be courteous on this avenue. You will want to know everything your kid is doing, but the parent who is there is not there to watch your kid. Don't be offended by that... just be thankful someone can give you some update when Gametracker "locks" and the count stays the same for 48 minutes...

Also be aware that many college towns have a local radio station that broadcasts over the Internet. These can be superb. Also some of the Alumni heavy schools will actually broadcast video over the Internet (BYU always did that at home and sometimes away). These can take a long time to research so start several hours before gametime. Some charge, some don't...

Enjoy everyone!!!

Navy opens against Air Force next Friday in Millington, TN. Hope to see some of you out there for the All Service Academies Tourney. Army's chicken... they don't come.... (that ought to get a response from Chip...)

cadDAD

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Scott is going to have great and not so great days, but he has the talent to have alot of great days. The phone calls will come alot quicker on the great days and that is ok. Enjoy the great days and help him forget the others. Good pitchers are forgetful.

I had this really well formulated response to the original question...I can't seem to remember what it was though?

Oh yeah...I only got one tough call last year and it was from the locker room right after he gave up three runs when he could have been out of the inning with zero runs except he was late covering first for the inning ending double play. He was coming out of the game after that inning either way, he was on a pitch count. He told me he stunk up the joint for three innings, basically I listened and told him "nobody has all their good stuff every time"...didn't really console him much, I did feel awful... he was just so down on himself.

Funny thing though, the game was on TV out there in NY, and I got a copy of the game about a month ago and laughed. He didn't stink...he had a mental breakdown after that late play at first. I made him a copy, told him exactly what I saw, a good pitcher that mentally took himself out of the game by being overly hard on himself and not shaking it off. Freshman!

After he got the copy he agreed with me...heck, he struck out the side in the first and wound up with 5 k's over 3 innings...not too shabby.

Now...about that chicken thingy.

Todays word of the day, boys and girls, is "trounce". It means, to thrash or punish severely ; especially : to defeat decisively.

Let me give some examples. Army will trounce Navy, just like it does every year.

You can also use it past tense...Army trounced Navy last year, sweeping all 4 games and it was AT Navy.

It can also be used in the present tense... I will be at Doubleday Field this year at West Point to witness the trouncing that Army will put on Navy...again.

There you have it boys and girls, your word for the day, trounce

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DOG FIGHT !!!!

Someone call in air support...


The nationally televised game was a good one. Army came to play.

I do know it's becoming more than an ARMY/NAVY thing though... it's becoming a baseball thing as well. I've heard some of the Navy objectives for the season. I hope without much pitching, we do show up.

But I do think it's sad that WP doesn't show up for a tournament they call the All-Services Academies Tournament. If you talk to old timers (guys from the 80's and 90's) they will tell you that Army doesn't show up because of how strong Air Force used to be (maybe under Manieri) and how AF won it every year. Boy have times changed...


"There you have it boys and girls, your word for the day, trounce..."

Are you starting some Bill O'Reilly thing here?

cadDAD

Sorry if we hijacked this thread momentarily. I tried to move it over to a thread titled Gametracker. As you were...

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Son still in High School and all the emotions are the same watching him play. There have been times he as struggled on the mound or on the infield or at the plate and will ask for me what went wrong. I would love to say that each time I answered in a manner that I would be happy with. Some times it is a simple matter of wording that makes a difference in the way the answer to the question is recieved. This year his senior year I am going to make make sure that when he comes to me with his struggles that I word my response that we both can look back at and have fond memories. I apprecite this thread and learning from all of you that have players in college. I will listen and apply your advice.

quote:

Before the season begins, would anyone care to share how they help their son when the bad outing comes along?

If we happen to be at the game we take him to dinner and avoid the subject until he is ready to discuss. When he is ready he will bring it up and I usually try to pick something positive to focus on. If I can't find anything I just order myself another beer.

If we are at home it seems to work in a similar fashion, wait till he calls, by then he will be ready to talk.

Regarding Gametracker

It is great and it is frustrating, I have also found that when son is at bat it is best if I leave the vicinity, seems to hit better when I am someplace else. I know if my phone rings during the game I can go back to the computer because it usually means something good has happened and parents at the game love to share good news.

Regarding the Army Navy matchup it sounds like its going to be a war. But that is what those guys are trained for.

I have only seen one preseason preview so far but based on that report Lafayette should consider another conference. So much for preseason predictions, guess that's why they play the games.

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[quote]Regarding the Army Navy matchup it sounds like its going to be a war. But that is what those guys are trained for.[/quote]

I remember the opening remarks of the Commandant at Navy on Induction Day 2006.

"Ladies and Gentlemen... We are in the Business of War. And unfortunately, business is very good..."

There were no laughs in the crowd of 4000.

cadDAD

Go Navy !!! Beat the chickens!!!

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Great post from CD!

We learned early to listen, we never offered any advice unless asked while away at school or now. We felt that his pitching coach was more than qualified to help him through the lows, offer support, make adjustments or sit on his butt when needed. That goes for excuses also as CD mentioned, most players learn that there are no excuses, and never make excuses for bad outings (though I have been known not to always follow that rule but keep it to myself). I remember once telling son he played in a tough league and I got my head bit off.

We also learned to give him his space. Since listening or following gametracker really was difficult (no web TV at first) we knew that he would make his own decisions on making a call home if he wanted support. Good outings always brought a phone call, bad ones he needed the night to blow it off, and the next day he was fine.

One thing they have to learn, that this is such a game of success or failure at each outing (for everyone) that they have to know how to control their emotions (yours too).Even the best have good days and bad days. At first, there can be more bad outings than good ones, it's a learning process for each level and each position.

I was told once by Sully and believe this to be true, better players that emerge are usually ones that stuggle early and learn to adjust and deal with it. There is nothing worse that a player who just cruises along and then hits the brick wall which is unfamiliar to him.

It never gets easy because we are so involved and eant our players to succeed but they have to learn to do it on their own.

For me it was different--I never held my breath deep before any game---perhaps because he wasn't pitcher--he never worried nor did I---even early on when he was a pitcher--have a bad game he went on to the next game--even when he got suspended for bowling over the catcher he never called to complain---his attitude was I think the other guy hurt more than me---since he was a young kid he took care of things himself and never asked for his parents he.

I believe that a lot has to do with the type of kid you have---mine all knew I was there for them if needed but they were much like me---I will take care of it on my own--if I need you I will call or knock on the door ---my dad raised me the same way

Different strokes for different folks