How to get a kid to just relax and enjoy and not press

Interesting that you mention higher powers, and I take the context that you're speaking in a more general way than specifically about organized religion. The things you hear religious players say perfectly embody the main principles of good sports psychology...no matter what the faith of the athlete. Religion gives the Christian athlete a unique tool to use to bend his mind in the right direction, ("Only God can decide if I get a hit. All I can do is swing the bat the way I've been taught"). It's a little more difficult to teach the secular athlete to have that sort of faith in his ability - but it can be done.

 

That higher power isn't necessarily an old man in the sky with a long white beard and His sandal-wearing long haired Son, after all...

 

Yeah, like hating the gays, trans and women. Christians really got that down pat, which in turn lets them play baseball better.

 

"Secular" athletes are all over the place and do fine, just because you choose to join a religion/cult doesn't mean you have a better mind set. In fact, it might make you impervious to logic and facts that go against what you choose to believe in.

I think this!!  I think it is much harder as a parent than it is for the kid.  My son is now a pitcher, but I think the mental aspect of the game applies.  I'll give a little example.  My son's freshman year of college was a semi disaster.  Wound up the year throwing around 22 innings with a 10+ ERA.  It was very hard on us as parents.  He fortunately had a very good start in the conference tournament as his last outing that I believe helped him stay on the team and for us to be able to live until the next season.    His sophomore year was MUCH better.  Wound up throwing 41 innings with a 2.63 ERA.  Part way through this past season, I was out with him and told him how proud of him I was for working through that tough year and keeping his confidence to come back and have a good year this year.  I said I know it must have been hard.  You know what he said?  "It wasn't that hard"  Wow!!!  He had more confidence in himself than I had in him.  I think he KNEW he was better than what he showed that first year.  

 

My point is, I think we as parents take on WAY more anxiety and nervousness than our players do.  I think they understand that there are going to be tough times and BELIEVE that they are better than what they are showing.  What we need to do as parents is to be supportive.  If they want help, they'll let us know.  If not, there are times we need to hold our tongues.  

 

Your son is a student of the game.  He knows the deal.  Let him be.  Be supportive.  It'll work itself out.

Maybe I didn't word it quite right, but I think you're missing the gist of where I was going with that. If anything I was afraid I would offend Christian and other religious athletes by implying that their deeply held faith was simply a sports psych mind trick...but I seem to have offended the non-religious instead.

 

I am not religious, and as an athlete, I envied the way the religious could use their faith to clear their minds.

OldSkool2, if a higher power mental approach helps this young man at the PG tournament, I am all for it.

The thread is about helping a kid, (and his Dad?) because the   Dad is worried he might fail in a pressure packed PG event. How people do that, mentally, is fine with me on the baseball field.

Unless and until someone introduces a higher power into this thread for any reason other than to support the kid in question, doesn't your response seem way out of line?

SluggerDad, how many in game at bats, when your son has struggled with this issue, has the hitting instructor observed in person?

 

Wow.  I'm an atheist, and I like you I do have major issues with how some members of some churches treat groups you mention, but I think you went zero to sixty too fast on that one.  While I've often ridiculed athletes who think that Jesus or whoever gives a flying heck about who wins a particular ballgame, the question of whether religious faith can help a player perform is still an interesting one.

If belief in a higher power would do it for the kid, I'd be fine with that.  I'd be surprised though, given what I know about him, if he was willing to trust a higher power.  Though baseball does do strange things to people. 

 

One thing some people have said that I'm not sure about.   I actually think for HS age kids, it's much harder on the kids than on the parents.   And I think a coach can either make it better or worst, depending on their style and approach.   That's because   A HS season is REALLY short.   If you get 60 - 70 AB's you are lucky.  In that context a  5 or 6 game "slump"  can feel like an eternity to a kid.   If the coach communicates a sense of trust to the kid, that can help.  But some coaches -- our recently fired coach -- at least with some kids don't communicate that trust  (not saying whether its deserved or not) .  The kid felt (whether rightly or wrongly) that he had to prove to the coach that he belonged where he was.   And that SEEMS to have caused the kid to  press more.   Least that's what it looked like from the sidelines and from hearing him talk after games.

 

In the great scheme of things what is 5 games or 15 PAs.  I hope I'm mature and old and wise enough to see that an 1 for 13 with 2 BB  means almost  nothing in the great scheme.  But the 16 year old kid who went through it -- not quite so mature, not just yet.   I definitely  do believe he will survive this all.  The kid gets more and more mature with each passing -- well, I was going to say day but probably should say with each passing couple of months. 

 

Anyway, this is useful discussion.  Thanks for the input. 

 

 

 Fair number.  Plus we send him tape of his AB's when he's not there in person.   The kid and the coach have a great relationship.   

And I'll add, though my son is only 14, I have introduced the mental aspects of hitting, in small pieces, since he's 10.  Nothing crazy, just thoughts that he should or shouldn't have.  Where his concentration should be.  Did I expect him to do that at 10 or 11? Absolutely not.  But little by little he got it, and as he matured I gave him a little more. Again, with emphasis on the process, not results.  

 

Please don't misunderstand me here.  These were just "hints", shall I say.  Not drill sessions or anything difficult.  

 

Over the past year, and especially this spring while playing HS, he has really started to get it.  Does he still make mental mistakes at the plate and in the field?  Of course he does.  Heck, watch an MLB game tonight and you'll see pro's make mental mistakes.  It happens.  Just a heck of a lot less for them.

 

Time will tell if my son plays beyond HS.  But I will tell you this much, that kid has been at the plate in front of hundreds of fans screaming and yelling with 2 outs, last inning, down by a run, game tying run at 3B, and the kid is able to shut out the noise. For some reason I believe facing that kind of pressure will help him later in life.  No matter what he does.

 

 

Then your son HAS to learn how to FLUSH at bats.  Whether he goes 0 for 4 or 4 for 4 he should be the same at all times.  Is that easy?  No.  Will he always do it?  No. But if your son, and you, have aspirations of playing beyond HS he had better learn to do that.  He should analyze the at bat, attempt to make any needed modifications, and move on.  Your last at bat has nothing to do with your present at bat.

 

And my son is harder on himself then I could even have nightmares about being, but when the at bat is done, it's done.  When the game is done, it's done.  Back to work tomorrow.

 

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/c...adio--steve-springer

 

www.qualityatbats.com  @qualityatbats on Twitter

 

 

So right.   We were just talking about this -- not about him, but about Nick Swisher in today's Indians/Angels game.   Swish went 0-4 with 3K's in the first nine innings.  game goes into extras.   Angels score 2 top of 10 to take a 3-1 lead.  Swish comes up with bases loaded in bottom of 10,  down to his last strike.  Hits a grand slam walk off. 

 

We talk about how great a  game baseball is, because it gives you a chance to do something like that.  Have a really bad day at the plate for 4 AB's but step into the box, focus, forward. and deliver. 

 

He thought that was really cool.   So do I. 

 

Steve is the man.  Some of what I spoke of Coach Springer explains very well.  

 

Throw in what I've learned along the way and I believe it has helped my son.

 

Here's a Springer-ism for you SluggerDad.  Does your son know his batting average?

 

I should say that I think whoever mentioned sports psychology for young players earlier on, had it pretty much right. 

 

We had the good fortune of having the son of a professional sports psychologist on my son's 14U team awhile back.  The shrink and the coach were good buddies. and that really help the coach.  He mostly didn't talk to the players about matters psychological, but he talked a lot with the coach -- who was sort of immature, and clueless when it came to communicating and motivating 14 year olds.  But he was a good baseball guy -- but just a kid himself in a grown man's body.  

 

Unfortunately the coach and the dad had a falling out of over some issue and they left the team.  But he was really great to talk to about all sorts of things.  Made me believe that there should be more sports psychology taught to kids, coaches and parents too.   But that seems to take a back seat. 

 

But if he's thinking about that 0 for 4, it doesn't happen.

 

 

"If the coach communicates a sense of trust to the kid, that can help.  But some coaches -- our recently fired coach -- at least with some kids don't communicate that trust  (not saying whether its deserved or not) .  The kid felt (whether rightly or wrongly) that he had to prove to the coach that he belonged where he was.   And that SEEMS to have caused the  press more.   Least that's what it looked like from the sidelines and from hearing him talk after games."

 

So long as you continue to carry this, it seems like your son could well be  carrying it too.

Why?  Excuses in baseball become less and less useful to get players where they need to be the higher they play in the game.

Mentally, I would recommend the approach that "I didn't get the job done."  No excuse. What do I do next time and my next opportunity. 

Of course that was a thread several weeks back and you are still talking about the coach and continuing to reference he was fired and the pressure he created for your son and how you associate the results. While I know you will bob and weave on any response, each and every time the completely unnecessary reference to the HS coach having been fired is included in your posts it strongly suggests you won't let it go and that coach is at fault(the excuse).

Seems like a lot of baggage to me, but that is just me.

Personally, I hope your son gets the weight of the world off "your shoulders" this next week and "proves" he didn't need any magic "fix" or quick psychological adjustment.

You know what I love most about baseball?  It's simple.  A player or a parent can do all the talking and boasting that they want.  But when the lights come on... then everyone gets to see who is really a player

Good advice infield. My son was exposed to Steve Springers teachings about 2 years ago. Even though he had a pretty firm grasp mentally on hitting, Springer put him over the top. 0-3 late in the game doesn't bother him anymore. Bad ABs are what irks him. He always knows that 4th or 5th AB is just waiting for him to get the job done, and that is usually the big AB. He is at the point where he is more satisfied with 4 tracers that are caught then a couple of dinks that help the avg. And in the long run the avg. improves.

The more you "work" on it the more he's going to think about it. The more he thinks about it the worse it gets. You have to simplify it. And then stop talking about it. If he goes 0-4 your reaction and conversation should mirror a 4-4. Get in the box and hit. If you get a hit great. If you don't so what? It's a simple case of trying too hard instead of just letting it happen. Players will carry baggage to the plate with them. Dump the baggage and play.