Stolen
HOW TOXIC OF A BASEBALL PARENT ARE YOU?
If you talk to any coach whose been coaching for longer than a few years and ask them what makes their job the hardest I guarantee you 99% of them will say THE PARENTS. Ive been coaching tournament baseball for almost 20 years now and learned a long time ago that that is 100% true. Its not a secret or even a debate yet why is it such an obvious truth? What is it that parents do that make coaching a team so difficult at times? Well I started reflecting back on my years of coaching experience and have come up with a list of things that make parents toxic to the overall chemistry of a team.Below is a list I've compiled of the different kinds of parents who create toxicity on a team. Some are worse than others so I will try to list them from intolerable to not as toxic. Some of you are new to this whole thing and may not resemble any of these traits whereas some of you who read this may embody several. Enjoy! And dont worry next week I will compose a list of types of coaches who are out there.
1. FORMER "COACH"- Probably the most toxic parent in select baseball is former coach guy. This is the dad who had a 7U league ball team that was undefeated in back to back seasons and he was named as the All Star coach back to back seasons. So then he tried to parlay that success by starting a brand new select ball team. But once him and his buddys couldnt get their sons passed the 11U AA level he decided to take his kid to an organization. Once in the organization he proceeds to second guess every move the hired coaches make and becomes confident after a couple of years of picking up things from the hired coach that he wants to try his luck again at coaching. So he takes his son and a few of his buddies away from the organization and starts up a 16U team. But in the end this toxic parent inevitably ends up putting little Bobby back into an organization as he realizes hes not equipped to talk to colleges about getting little Bobby a scholarship. And in the end has to swallow his coaching whistle one last time and be grateful if his son gets a look from the local community college much less the Power 5 school he thought his son deserved to play at.
2. BIG MONEY BOB- This is the dad who has made a great living for himself and wants to "give back" by sponsoring the team that little Bobby is playing on. The only problem with BMB's donation of back packs and 4 uniforms is that it comes with a caveat. That donation isnt just buying equipment its to buy little Bobby a certain amount of playing time because little Bobby is average at best. So the coach can either go along with the program or BMB takes his son and his buddies to another team to inevitably start the whole process over again.
3. TEAM JUMPER- This is the parent who almost never is happy with whats going on on the team. Especially when said team starts to lose games. Thats because this parent is living vicariously thru their kid and how many rings their kid is accumulating. The more rings their kid gets the bigger the parent's d*ck gets. These are the parents whose child could fill a closet with the number of jerseys from all the teams they've played for. Then sadly when little Bobby gets to high school he has nowhere else to run. But this parent will always make one more move residentially so their son can play at a different high school. This type of toxic parent embodies several of the traits listed on this post.
4. GOSSIPING GUY- This is the dad who cant even make it to the truck before getting on the phone with another parent to gossip about other players, the coach and even other parents all the while little Bobby is walking right next to him listening to every word he's saying. So next time little Bobby sees his teammates in the back of his mind hes thinking of what his dad said about them. And whats even worse is if what his dad said gets back to those players and parents spreading a cancer throughout the team.
5. NO FILTER FAN BOY- This is the parent who doesnt even care who hears what hes got to say. This is the parent who degrades players, coaches, umpires and even other parents from the bleachers. The guy who yells out to opposing players under the age of 14 years old. Who openly talks trash about a player whose parents are usually within earshot of the comments. Theres a special place in toxic parent hell for this type of parent.
6. BLINDERS ON GUY- This is the parent who always seems to forget the 5 errors little Bobby made and focus on the right fielder dropping a pop up. This parent overlooks his sons multiple mental and physical errors yet thinks his son is the next Babe Ruth necause he got a seeing eye single to shallow right field.
7. GAME CHANGER GUY/STAT RAT- This is the parent that can tell you his 9 year old son's first pitch strike percentage during night games when the temperature is above 80 degrees. Hes also the guy who ironically wants to be the guy doing game changer or hounds the guy doing game changer. Who wants to argue if his son got a hit or was it ruled and error. Or while his son is pitching was it an earned run or marked as unearned. Normally his obsession with stats is passed down to his son who then starts obsessing about his batting average. Not too many high school coaches give a sh*t about your batting average in the fall of your 12U baseball season.
8. RENT A PLAYER/JUST GETTING REPS GUY- This is the dad who thinks that little Bobby needs to play every weekend because he seems to think that despite little Bobby's crappy mechanics and lack of baseball I.Q. he will just naturally get better by jist picking up every weekend. This is very similar to "helping a buddy's team our" guy. This is the dad who just wants to help out his buddy's team whos short handed this weekend yet inevitably ends up leaving his real team to play for the buddy who picked him up. And finally along the same lines is the dad who knows his kid is above average so he plays every weekend for multiple teams and does it almost always for free. Hence the term rent-a-player.
9. PACKAGE DEAL GUY- This is another parent who embodies many of the traits listed on this post. This is the dad whose son is an average baseball player. But in order for his son to make it on a roster of a team his daddy wants him to be on he has to align himself with a couple of the good players on the team. That way when he bails on that team he can approach the other team with a package deal that includes his son and the two above average players. The best part of this is when the coveted organization decides they only want one or two of the players in the package deal and the odd man out is the guy who garnered the deal in the first place. Priceless.
10. YOU TUBE BLEACHER INSTRUCTOR GUY- Once sgain this is another parent who more than likely encompasses several of traits on this list. This is the guy who made it as far as JV on his high school team but has been to enough lessons and watched enough you tube that he's basically an MLB manager. The best kind is the one whose son is batting ,200 and makes about 4 errors a game yet there the dad is instructing his heart out from the stands hoping something with click.
11. ROSTER GUY- This is the dad that can tell you the blood type of a player on an opposing 8U team that plays 45 miles away. The guy that spends more time online than he does practicing with his kid.
12. EQUIPMENT GUY- This is the dad who obsesses over the newest bats and gloves. The dad whose kid has 4 bats in his bag just in case he doesnt get a hit with one he can resort to 3 other ones that game. The guy whose kid has had a new glove so many times that it never gets time to break the glove in. He may also be the type of guy to drop over $800 on one bat.
13. POCKET RADAR GUN GUY- Although understanding how fast your son is throwing has become an obsession at the high school and collegiate levels its even worse at the younger levels. Little Bobby's dad and his velocity obsessed instructor jave gotten little Bobby up to 60mph and cannot wait to show it online. But even better is bringing the radar to the games of a 10 year old and having the kid asking during games "what am I throwing".
14. SOCIAL MEDIA GUY- This is the dad that tskes to Twitter and Facebook on a Monday to cry and criticize umpires, coaches and even other players. Who post videos of field conditions and opposong players pick off moves. This is the same guy whose son and coach made dozens of mistakes throughout the course of a tournament yet noone decided to post that to social media.
15. GOTTA TAKE LESSONS GUY- This is the dad who has to take lessons from the instructor who his son is playing for and then the minute he leaves that team hes on to another instructor. Who also thinks if little Bobby has a bad game we "gotta get him in for a lesson " before the next game! Like the lessons are the key to his success.
16. BLAME LESSONS GUY- Only thing worse than credit lessons guy is blame lessons guy. This is the guy whose son cant hit the broad side of a barn and is taking lessons from a guy who has helped put numerous people in college via their hitting but the 8 year old that hes working with just needs to be with a different instructor. Yet hes the same instructor who got hashtagged on social media becasue little Bobby hit a walk off grand slam. #bestcoacheverrrrrrr.
17. NEVER WATCHES PRACTICE GUY- This is the parent who drops their kid off at practice or sits in the car and then at tournaments wonders why little Bobby is on the bench. This is the guy who will walk up to the coach during a game and ask why is little Bobby sitting the bench. Has no clue that little Bobby has t fielded two balls in a row at practice since the Nixon administration.
18. OVERLY POSITIVE MOM- This is usually a mom or multiple moms who no matter what mistakes or series of mistakes happen in a game the response is apmost always "thats alright" or "nobody hurt". Thinking somehow this overly positive affirmation will erase those mistakes and/or cause them to stay postive on the field and overcome those mistakes. When those same mistakes are made time and time again at practice and eventually at a tryout for a team theyre wanting to make. This is the parent that inevitably tries to protect their son from mistakes and the feelings that come with those mistakes. Sometimes you gotta take the L so it hurts bad enough that ypu never want to make that mistake again.
19. NAIVE NEWBY- This is the parent who is new to the select ball experience and is just happy to be there. Still fresh off their last league ball season and carried those same orange slices and capri sun mentality to their new select team. Most parents especially moms start off in this stage and slowly but surely become one of the many traits listed above. Although this isnt one of the most toxic traits it can hender a team who is made up of players and parents who have their eyes on the prize.
20. SELFISH CHEERLEADER- This is the parent who only focuses on where their kid is playing in the field and where hes batting in the lineup. And will go as far as only cheering for their kid. This is also the parent who demands perfection from the defense while little Bobby is on the mound. Even though little Bobby makes more errors than the entire team combined.
21. EXCUSES R US- This the the parent(and eventually kid) who will come up with every excuse in the book as to why little Bobby makes mistakes. Quick to blame umpires, coaches, instructors, other players amd even sleep schedules! The rarely if ever hold their child accountable to which that child then never has to hold himself accountable.
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Talks to their kid on deck, He's not playing in college anyway so who cares, heres your Gatorade, playing for this coach will give us a leg up on making the high school team. And probably many more.
The most common thing I hear from parents once their child has stopped playing baseball for many years is the wish they could just watch them play one more time. They remember the days of loading up the car and headed to the field. Theyd give anything to have just one more weekend. So if you've read all the way to this point just remember you only have a small window that you can watch your kid play this beautiful game. Some of you have mutiple kids who play and you learn from the oldest kid. My hope is that you look at this list and not become one or many of these traits. Cheer your team on. Save your complaints for when youre not in front of your child. And if you have real concerns about your childs development go directly to the head coach and discuss them. And if theres still a major disagreement then start to look for another place to play. Good luck and Ill talk to you soon.
