I learned from HSBBW

       
       
Dad, that one kind of just hit home.  From this point forward I am going to effort to point out a couple good things about his game and then talk about nothing else related to his performance the rest of the way home.  Tonight will be my first practice run!  I sure as hell don't want my son to say that some day.  That would break my heart.  But it would also be my own fault.

I read in this February and it was powerful then and still is. I want to add something that I learned way to late as a parent of multiple (5) kids. The gifted (or most) one is not the only one.

 

My son that is playing in college is the middle of 5 - 2 older one are sons, 2 younger ones are daughters. I used to rotate coaching both older boys when they were very young. When 3rd son got started at 5 it became Head coaches one,  assistant coach one and dad on sidelines on other.  I did that until 3rd son was 9. My 2 older boys were good solid players. oldest played rec and al stars all thru HS and made HS team, rarely played, 2nd son local travel ball about 12 thru HS, and made and played HS ball but never a star. They are 8 and 6 years older than my 3rd son (known as chef Jr on here and one I talk about most). By time oldest was 14 and middle was 12, I had stopped coaching them because I was coaching Chef Jr exclusively. He played every weekend at away tournaments from 9 yr old on. I missed games (LOTS OF THEM) by my older sons because I was "the coach" of chef Jr

 

It was a bone of contention in my house but I had an obligation to him and that team. For 7 years. It was who I was, THE coach of the Hornets. When Chef Jr was 16 he was really hard to coach, mad at me most of summer. By then I had joined HSBBW and realized thru very smart people on here that I need to let him go. Man it was hard, but the next year I was no longer coach and he was off to a new team.

 

What I regret to this day is that I missed out on 2 very special young men during their teenage years, because I was focus on my 3rd sons baseball "career".

 

In the last 3 years, I have apologized to them. Made conscience effort to be around them. It was and still is sometimes awkward. But we are finally at a place where I can easily hang out with them. Thank goodness my wife did a fantastic job with them while I was raising the 3rd one. 

 

I did learn my lesson. I spend time with my daughters doing things they like. I make a effort daily to reach out to all 5.

 

I think my middle son (chef Jr) is relieved too. To much pressure to be "great". I didn't ruin his love for baseball thank goodness, but it is his love not mine.

 

I guess to wrap up my rambling, be careful not to put so much into one child that you leave the others behind. They are all God's and my children and they deserve that from me. 

Wow, beautiful post!  I worry about this sometimes too. Thankfully, my daughter is 4 years younger, and I have really made a concerted effort to put her wants and needs at the forefront of my thoughts. 

 

I often think about this subject, and it reminds me of Jan Brady.  "It's always, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!"

Sounds just like lionbaseball doesnt it?  lionbaseball was Baseballmania

       
       
Hey this is a first for me...  responding to my own post!  I update for you.  First at bat my son takes a first pitch curve ball - teams knows him so pitching him backwards.  Count 1-0.  Next pitch is like a dream come true. Belt high fastball he takes for a strike...  every bone in my body wants to say something to him right then and there.  I remember this thread.  I remain silent.  He goes 1 for 3 on the night.  Nothing spectacular.   Hardest hit ball was an out.  Still slumping.  We get in the car.  I tell him he did a nice job of putting the ball in play and its clear he is about to come out of his slump.  I wanted so badly to ask him why the #% $@ he looked at a grooved fastball.  I didn't.   We then talked about going out for wings.  We are waiting for our wings at this moment.  He just told me I don't know how to bend the brim of my hat properly.  I am going to put my phone down now, talk to my son about more silly stuff and call it a night...  thanks hsbbw.  I actually feel better inside.

Sounds like you are making progress with hsbbweb therapy.

I am not sure I should be really happy this thread was revived or really angry!  Chef your post has also put me on the spot.  I too have 5 kids.  My baseballer is also the middle child.  My oldest just graduated hs and is going to alabama on a full academic.  Very proud.  My next oldest is a 2017 who will be a collegiate swimmer probably at the D3 level.  She has worked very hard to keep up with others in a program that just snapped a streak of 3 straight state championships.  Next is my baseballer.  Then comes my younger son who will almost certainly be a D1 swimmer - possibly big time D1.  Then comes my little 7 year old girl who is just starting to swim.  Last night she had a meet.  This is a major big deal to her right now.  Only her third ever.  She really wanted daddy to come see her.  But daddy explained mommy was going with the swimmers and daddy had to go to baseball.  The baseball game was in town as was the swim meet.  I couldn't stay long at either because I had to coach summer league basketball at 7pm.  Any guesses where I went for the 45 minutes I had between my hs baseball game (coaching) and my hs summer league basketball game I had to coach?  I am a pretty bad dad.  Chef I am headed right in the direction you spoke of.  I am addicted to watching my son play baseball.  Of course I attend the other kids stuff when it does not interfere with baseball.  My wife has suggested on many occasions maybe we should flip flop.  I make lame excuses like since she was a collegiate swimmer she has more to offer the swimmers and I have more to offer on the baseball side.  But really my kids just want to know I am there.  Couldn't care less if I know anything about swimming.  This is going to be one of the hardest things ever (that in itself is shame on me) but next opportunity I get I am going to flip flop with my wife and go to swimming.  Chef, you touched a life here.  I hope I have time to make amends.

TPM, you sure have an infatuation with baseballmania and lionbaseball.  I feel like I have my own stalker (and I don't mean radar gun).  

All:

I linked this old post to hopefully help / place perspective on the "Baseball dad" thread.  Glad that  by doing so revived the post. 
Chef / 2020 dad: excellent posts.  Those help to remind me that baseball is 2017's journey, not mine.

  I also have neglected my daughter and youngest son, in fact I'm sitting in ANOTHER hotel tonight (just him and I), waiting for BFS Jr to pitch tomorrow.  Last week we had 4 Big 12 schools, three West coast schools, 2 SEC schools, and 4 MLB scouts show up to a large TX showcase to watch Jr pitch.  It is so much more enjoyable for our entire family to watch him pitch, without having to worry if / when dad is going to go ballistic because Jr fell behind the count and threw a 4 seamer in a FB count... What a jerk I was. 

Thanks for the kick in the butt from the old timers...you know who you are!!!

2020Dad, plenty of time. Make sure you go see that 2017 swim too. Whatever 2015 headed to Bama is into, spend a few minutes this summer. Make it a day if possible with them. The one thing I can attest to and others have as well, It is REALLY hard letting them go off to college. They grow up so fast there.

 

Another thing I did last night and this is more about being the baseball Dad than anything. I sent a text to my son Chef Jr, telling him how proud of him I was as a young man, Baseball was a small part of who he was but no matter what he did in life and if he never played another inning of baseball, I was proud to call him my son just because of who he was as a person.

 

NOW, I blame you MOM's for making me all sappy

 

 

Always remind your kids that who they are is what makes you proud not what tbey do.
I think son hung on so long because he didnt want to disappoint his family.  Thats not how it should be.  Enjoy the .ome ts with them, but if they want to head in another direction, it should have nothing to do with you.
For those who keeo saying its his dream, understand that before they get to HS they have no clue what the dream entails, you are essentially feeding the monster. They get to HS and things begin to enravel and dads and moms become disappointed and as seen in this case dad thinks being negative is going to make his son suddenly have more talent.
By the time your son reaches HS you should be out of the picture. Until he drives take him to where he needs to go and talk about the weather unless he wants to talk baseball.
And for heaven sakes do other stuff together.

Good job chefmike!

I have no infatuation with you whatsoever, maybe its time you realize that for some reason baseballmania became unwelcome and lion acts the same way, maybe you need to think twice before you hit the post button.  Why not try to add some real substance to what you post instead of stuff you know will make others angry, seems like thats what you do to get attention.

 

 

I find it strange that that you have said over and over you have blocked me yet here you are, responding.   Looks who is stalking who!

 

TPM FEB 19, 2014:  "Just remember one thing, your sons talent will speak for itself, he doesn't have to be prefect each time he takes an at bat or pitches or plays the field.'

 

This is huge. I have to admit that I worry his (2017, 2019, 2022) talent won't speak for itself.  Then I wonder if maybe my worry is actually that their talent level won't be what I am hoping for.  Ouch.  Not something to worry about at all: that takes the game away from them.  BAD MOVE.