Observer44,
Great Post. Take one day at a time. the decision is so tough. so many variables,just pray and hope its the right decisin. But sometimes we learn from wrong decisions. nothing is in stone if their choice ends up being a miserable situation they can go somewhere else. I dont agree with some posters that tell the kids to suck it up all the time. every situation is different and each family only knows what is working or not working.Bottom line for most our kids is EDUCATION. many of the boys want to play professional baseball but reality they wont. they need to get their degree,If college baseball can keep them focused enough to do that I will be a happy parent.
O44 as usual has incredible words of widsom to share. His analysis applies to all student-athletes regardless of where they play college ball. I will be printing up his invaluable advice for my son to read and hope he takes in atleast some of what O44 has to say.
Can't imagine why you thought you'd get flak for that!
Can't imagine why you thought you'd get flak for that!
O44:
Like you, I also had 2 baseball-playing sons -- one played DI and went pro and one played JUCO and then went to a 4-year DI. You eloquently said many things I was thinking while reading through this thread. Your observations not only about the programs but about all the different kinds of players and how they evolve (or not)were spot on. Both the boys are now on the other side of both their baseball careers and school. They had many ups and downs along the way, but all those experiences molded them and both seem much more resilient out there in the "real world" than some of their non-athlete friends who struggle with the adversity they are facing.
Thanks for helping folks stay focused on the big picture!
Like you, I also had 2 baseball-playing sons -- one played DI and went pro and one played JUCO and then went to a 4-year DI. You eloquently said many things I was thinking while reading through this thread. Your observations not only about the programs but about all the different kinds of players and how they evolve (or not)were spot on. Both the boys are now on the other side of both their baseball careers and school. They had many ups and downs along the way, but all those experiences molded them and both seem much more resilient out there in the "real world" than some of their non-athlete friends who struggle with the adversity they are facing.
Thanks for helping folks stay focused on the big picture!
Amen!
quote:Originally posted by observer44:
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I'll likley take flack for this....got one in DI, one in JC...this I now know...
You research and you run down every source of information...and then you lie awake at night til late hours wondering if you really have done all you can...
...and you take them to school...and try to set it all up...and the transition is very tough on you (tougher likley than on them)...and you cry a little bit thinking about how you might just have completely ruined the rest of their lives...
...and they start...and they struggle some and you kick yourself for not doing more and not seeing things that "bite" them...and you do your best to solve them from far away...and you realize that the placement isn't what you though it was and it is hopeless for YOU to solve it...and that they are going to have to cowboy up, and grow...and fight and struggle for themselves...or move on...
And you are exactly, and finally right...for most us/them...it will be an entirely different experience than you/they expect...Nothing is set in stone at most schools...the kids who arrive in the fall are no always the kids you expected...sometimes they are at your your position...competition comes and goes...Some players are MUCH better than you thought...others never find themselves...coaches make good decisions and bad ones...players rise and fall...some players really "cowboy up"...others lose their passion...players click with some coaches dispise others...players get hurt...coaches move players into new positions...and sometimes back...and demote those that had waited for spots...Coaches come and go....The social/academic/atheletic trifecta is harder than you can imagine...academics really "Bite" some players...the social world will steal some...the only certainty is that the experience will be unlike anything you could have psyched out...
For in the end you have to trust your son, for in the end it is about a player and his own character...regardless of the coach, the situation...We have seen both and I can assure you that I have seen many more college kids give up and resign themsleves when faced with difficulty than are screwed by situations, or bad choices or bad luck...We have seen more kids simply do not take personal responsibility for fitness, for grades, for credits, for health, than are messed up by chooosing the wrong school...yet many timee the parents blame the school, and the coaches...
In the end ...character DOES matter...passion DOES matter...work ethic DOES matter...I can't tell you how many times spots open up due to injury, or poor performance and some kid steps in who simply would not go away...saw two players start this year who were told by coaches at the end of last year to go away...
and what you will also find in the end is that playing time or not, program development or not, real players find a way to better themselves...and in that process they become "lifetime winners" regardless of PT, AB's, struggle.....it just depends upon what he has in his heart. The winners learn by the experience, they learn about themselves and about their world, and they adapt, work harder or change situations and they are better for it...those who are not willing or able or prepared to pay a large price and see other greener pastures will find their glory in other venues...and that is fine...
Trust your sons. If you have instilled them with character and heart and passion....not just statistics (and I am sure you have) they will be fine....regardless.
44
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Where was my PM notifying me that ob44 had made another classic post!
Many things come to mind reading that wonderful post. Often times, we as parents need to grow just as much as our kids. The thought that we can somehow solve our kids' problems after they leave the home is probably unrealistic and likley will lead to slowing their ultimate growth in the long run. Of course we are always there to strengthen their resolve and support them, but I like the part about THEM having to "cowboy up" as ob44 says and figure things out for themselves. As my son entered college, I could not have understood that however and realize how naive I was looking back.
Surely it is painful at times, but the parent will grow as well when they realize the innate power their kids have to handle problems themselves and more importantly grow from them. The problems often times are a blessing that we can only understand in hindsight. The satisfaction one achieves seeing their kids grow though any situation and to arrive at an acceptable course for the future is indeed transcendant beyond playing time or coaches or schools or all the other obstacles that come their way.
quote:Originally posted by observer44:
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many wonderful words of true wisdom deleted
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OB44 & CD - you have no idea how your post and insights hit home with me today. College freshman son recently got hit with a shot of reality and has a decision to make. I finally realized that I could not do things for him or make him do what I wanted....it has to be his decision.
I love the comments about needing to Cowboy Up...I'm waiting to see how HE HANDLES the situation. I hope he makes the right decisions, but I am now at peace knowing we raised him right and have done all we can do.....it's in his hands now.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason and look forward to the day when we reflect back on this time and the lessons learned. I too will be printing this for him to read and hopefully reflect on.
I love the comments about needing to Cowboy Up...I'm waiting to see how HE HANDLES the situation. I hope he makes the right decisions, but I am now at peace knowing we raised him right and have done all we can do.....it's in his hands now.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason and look forward to the day when we reflect back on this time and the lessons learned. I too will be printing this for him to read and hopefully reflect on.
One KEY item that has gone unmentioned (or I didn't notice it) is the role a college counsler can play in helping your son decide if he is making the right choices.
As my kids get older I try not to provide unsolicted help, so I think its very helpful if your kid gets "hooked up" with a good counsler and baseball program. I never thougt much about this until my son started recieving comments from several D1 schools who felt he wouldn't be eligable next spring if he transferred from the JC(he is a 4-2-4 transfer). His JC counsler went the extra mile by confirming with people she knew at D1 schools and the NCAA that he did not have a transfer problem, just as she had counseled him in December. This counsler also provided him with good academic advice above and beyond sports. She was also able to provide him with "insider" info on many of the schools talking to him.
My son recently talked to a counsler at a D1 school recruiting him, she seemed to really know her stuff and how things worked at her school. When my son had dinner with several of players from the school they raved about how good the counseler was and my son took notice. I don't know if he'll end there, but if he does the coach can thank his counsler and I'll know someone is looking out for him.
A good coach with a good counsler is a big plus.
As my kids get older I try not to provide unsolicted help, so I think its very helpful if your kid gets "hooked up" with a good counsler and baseball program. I never thougt much about this until my son started recieving comments from several D1 schools who felt he wouldn't be eligable next spring if he transferred from the JC(he is a 4-2-4 transfer). His JC counsler went the extra mile by confirming with people she knew at D1 schools and the NCAA that he did not have a transfer problem, just as she had counseled him in December. This counsler also provided him with good academic advice above and beyond sports. She was also able to provide him with "insider" info on many of the schools talking to him.
My son recently talked to a counsler at a D1 school recruiting him, she seemed to really know her stuff and how things worked at her school. When my son had dinner with several of players from the school they raved about how good the counseler was and my son took notice. I don't know if he'll end there, but if he does the coach can thank his counsler and I'll know someone is looking out for him.
A good coach with a good counsler is a big plus.
College Parent:
You make an interesting point. We found the counseling at my son's JUCO was weak. They were concerned primarily with keeping the players eligible, which requires much less forethought and rigor than taking the courses necessary to transfer to a 4-year school. We ended up having to take matters into our own hands. It is helpful if parents are familiar with course requirements and course descriptions and can add a voice to the process.
You are right -- a good counselor makes a BIG difference!
You make an interesting point. We found the counseling at my son's JUCO was weak. They were concerned primarily with keeping the players eligible, which requires much less forethought and rigor than taking the courses necessary to transfer to a 4-year school. We ended up having to take matters into our own hands. It is helpful if parents are familiar with course requirements and course descriptions and can add a voice to the process.
You are right -- a good counselor makes a BIG difference!
quote:Originally posted by lhpx2:
College Parent:
You make an interesting point. We found the counseling at my son's JUCO was weak. They were concerned primarily with keeping the players eligible, which requires much less forethought and rigor than taking the courses necessary to transfer to a 4-year school. We ended up having to take matters into our own hands. It is helpful if parents are familiar with course requirements and course descriptions and can add a voice to the process.
You are right -- a good counselor makes a BIG difference!
I think just like any other division, there's a wide variety of counselors at the JUCO level. My son committed and signed with one originally and I thought the counseling process was superb. He later had conversations with two others (long story) and ended up attending one of those. One of those schools flat out told us that academics wasn't the reason his players came there. He did all the registering for classes and acted as the player's counselor. He felt he could guide the players better for their future at a 4 year than the school counselors could. Another one did a fair job, but like lhpx2 says, I think the parents still had to oversee that process. Certainly need to make sure that your entering freshman understands the importance of his class decisions in being able to continue his academic career as well as his baseball career.
One of the young men, a friend of the family, that went to college a couple years before my oldest shared with us that the athletics counselor for his school "interviewed" each incoming player and was very thorough in helping each athlete figure out their academic goals. She made it very clear, however, that it was her job to keep them eligible. She said that she would show them the way to any path they chose, but she had been hired to accomplish a very specific task. Very candid.
His baseball career ended after his sophomore year with a torn labrum; still, he used the system to his advantage and starts law school in a couple of months. The lesson I get from that, of course, is that if you go in with your eyes wide open (and take advantage of the available resources) you can be very successful (whatever that ultimately means).
His baseball career ended after his sophomore year with a torn labrum; still, he used the system to his advantage and starts law school in a couple of months. The lesson I get from that, of course, is that if you go in with your eyes wide open (and take advantage of the available resources) you can be very successful (whatever that ultimately means).
The JUCO coach for our son does all the class scheduling and counseling for the players.
Son signed with a DI this spring and they were telling the player he could not take an online class during the summer that would be transferable.
JUCO coach sent the DI the NCAA rules that showed it was allowable and the DI agreed. Goes to show you that the rules are complex and that some JUCO coaches are very good at what they do.
Son signed with a DI this spring and they were telling the player he could not take an online class during the summer that would be transferable.
JUCO coach sent the DI the NCAA rules that showed it was allowable and the DI agreed. Goes to show you that the rules are complex and that some JUCO coaches are very good at what they do.