Mental health issues with college athletes

Ed, I'm so sorry.  Wishing peace for your son and your entire family.

Possibly one of the most important threads on here. You have my condolences and prayers Ed.

@edcoach Ed, I’m so very sorry for your loss. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.  

@PTWood posted:

...Some people might not like or agree with what i say next but I think being really tall can be hard, especially if your kid is shy. For my son, it drew attention when, as teenager, he just wanted to fit in. People expected him to be older/more mature than he was. And no-one truly understood what it took to get all those limbs to work together, especially when he had 4 inch spurt from end of freshman year to sophomore year in HS--6'1" to 6'5".  His HS baseball coach at the time did not have much patience for the adjustments it took. My son still grapples with it at time...feeling more exposed than he would like to. Sometimes he slouches and tries to "disappear" and people interpret that as him being stand-offish or not caring. He often shaves an inch or two off his height when talking to people because a member of the same HS coaching staff kept telling him that at his size he would have to become a pitcher. I used to joke with my friend who had a very small son who was so very often underestimated that we need a support group for the extremes...

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes... especially the part about expecting him to be older/more mature than he actually was. Even Blondie and I fell into that trap on occasion. We could probably have an entire thread on that one.

One of Kidzilla's HS coaches admitted that he had assumed that he had been held back at least once. He was shocked to find out right before graduation that 'Zilla was actually one of the youngest in the class. (He didn't turn 18 until a few weeks after graduation.)

I'm convinced that dealing with his height and the misperceptions it caused was at least one of the many, many contributing factors to Kidzilla's meltdown.

The physical struggles as he matured were comically sad at times. I swear I'm not exaggerating - there were days he was physically incapable of running in a straight line because one leg grew so much more than the other overnight. The next day, he'd be fine. His movements were drastically different almost every day. It was bizarre to watch, and so frustrating for him.

One bonus is that he was tall enough to ride the grown-up roller coasters before any of his friends. Unfortunately, now he can't ride almost any roller coasters because he doesn't fit in the restraints.

FWIW - his girlfriend is 6'-0". So we may have some REALLY tall grandkids in a few years.

FWIW - his girlfriend is 6'-0". So we may have some REALLY tall grandkids in a few years.

From birth every object goes in the left hand. This is the instruction I’ve given my 5’10”:daughter with the 6’3” husband. A wives tale our pediatrician said is somewhat accurate is boys grow to be 6-8 inches taller than their mothers.

The issue may be her husband was a lacrosse player.** But my daughter said the kids will play baseball and softball even if she has to coach.

** lacrosse player - baseball player who discovers he can’t hit a curve

@RJM posted:

A wives tale our pediatrician said is somewhat accurate is boys grow to be 6-8 inches taller than their mothers.

if that was true in our case my kid would be 6’7” to 6’9” and playing college hoops!!! Instead he’s a 6’2” 205 pound corner D3 guy… blame it on my side of the family genetics

Genes are a funny thing. Based on @RJM 's pediatrician my kids should be way shorter (or I should be somewhat taller looking at my parents and their siblings). We have two sets of friends who are 6'10" and 6'1"...one has a son under 6 feet and the other has three girls taller than 6' so you never know.

A friend of mine is 6’1”. His brother is 5’7”. Their mother was 5’2”. The dad was 5’9”. Their aunt (mother’s sister) was 5’10”.  He said he didn’t know of anyone taller than his aunt in the family tree. He obviously got his aunt’s genes. I asked how tall was the mailman. There are always exception to the norm.

It makes me so happy to see this positive discussion on athletes' mental health.

Last year I came across this disappointing tweet from a PBR franchise owner. This guy has 37k+ followers, and many of them are high school baseball players.  I was hoping that it wasn't indicative of general high school baseball culture.

https://community.hsbaseballwe...ic/69302817972370949

I think Dan Cevette’s comments are not directed towards mental health issues. I believe they are intended towards the general griping & complaining that goes on in every program - and in that context I wholeheartedly agree with what he said.

1. @adbono posted:

I think Dan Cevette’s comments are not directed towards mental health issues. I believe they are intended towards the general griping & complaining that goes on in every program - and in that context I wholeheartedly agree with what he said.

Not just in baseball but other sports and every aspect of life. In the business world I was given advice when I started I always passed on as I got older. Don’t be one of the whiners and complainers at the water cooler. Either come up with a solution to the problem or learn how to deal with it. The solution avenue might get you promoted.

From experience if you have mental health issues speak to someone you trust. Then find help you can trust. When I had depression issues the first place was such a nightmare I didn’t seek help for another six years.

When I received quality help my mother asked me after two appointments if I was cured. She saw mental health the same as seeing the doctor for bronchitis. My response was, “Cured? We’re only up to age fourteen!. I’m fifty-nine.” You can imagine her response. I wasn’t being taught to blame anything on my parents. I was being taught how to overcome how I was raised and feelings about it that never went away and affected my life.

For people who think they might need to talk with someone, by the time I finished counseling in a year I wished I had received the advice I got forty years earlier. I would have said “fifty years ago.” But a little kid can’t say, “Whatever, got to go.” to their parents.

Also, don’t believe what you see is what you get with depressed people. I was a very functional depressed person with an outwardly positive disposition when I was around other people. You might say I was compensating.

As far as medication goes it’s a personal decision. I decided I was going to fight through the issues without happy pills.

@adbono posted:

I think Dan Cevette’s comments are not directed towards mental health issues. I believe they are intended towards the general griping & complaining that goes on in every program - and in that context I wholeheartedly agree with what he said.

Even if we assume that is the case, the wording is such that it would be easy to misinterpret it as applying to mental health issues - especially the quoted part at the end.

That's one of the insidious aspects of this. The get over it/fight through it/find a way mindset is necessary for overcoming difficult circumstances in sports and in life. But it aggravates and exacerbates legitimate mental health issues.

And it's really, really difficult for some to distinguish which one they are facing. So when a kid struggling with anxiety or depression reads or is told something like that quote, they're likely to do exactly the opposite of what they really need to do.

@MrBumstead posted:

Even if we assume that is the case, the wording is such that it would be easy to misinterpret it as applying to mental health issues - especially the quoted part at the end.

That's one of the insidious aspects of this. The get over it/fight through it/find a way mindset is necessary for overcoming difficult circumstances in sports and in life. But it aggravates and exacerbates legitimate mental health issues.

And it's really, really difficult for some to distinguish which one they are facing. So when a kid struggling with anxiety or depression reads or is told something like that quote, they're likely to do exactly the opposite of what they really need to do.

Again, I qualified my comments based on the assumption that Cevette was not addressing how to deal with a mental health issue. And I don’t believe that he was. IMO it’s a reach to think that he may have been. Based on other comments I have seen by him he appears to be a pretty responsible guy. In any event this subject underscores the importance of kids talking to friends and adults (other than coaches) in order to get a broader perspective on the issues they face.

I thought about this again the other day as I watched my sons game. I was almost having a hard time enjoying it. Worry, fear, the weight of a possible bad outing. I wondered when I would enjoy it again. Then I wondered what he must be feeling, and if he enjoys it anymore. The kids that are currently playing have some unique challenges that no doubt have had affects on them mentally. Not playing a year, change in goalposts, isolation, etc. No one has an easy road, but I am seeing more and more how many of these kids have struggled.  I watched Saturday as a mom paced in the outfield at her son’s first start in two years. When I talked to her, she was almost in tears. She said, “I don’t understand why this is so emotional.”  I understand it.  It’s coming through the mental part. And he killed it Seeing your kids struggle mentally is so hard.  I hope all these boys get through it and understand how wide spread it is and talk to each other or someone. If you haven’t watched the Weight of Gold, I recommend it.  Really shows the struggle for even really elite athletes.