Skip to main content

We have tried very hard to make sure school comes first and baseball second for my son.  We seldom allow him to miss school for a baseball event.  However, as they get older, this gets harder.  We took a Friday off to visit a collage that is very interested in him.  It was a great decision, since the school is heavy recruiting him now.  However, we had to tell the school he was sick, so it would be considered an "excused absence.  He now has a chance to go to Jupiter.  That will mean missing at least two days of school.   Do you tell the school the truth?  At my son's school, it will be considered an unexcused absence and he will not be allowed to make up any work.  At the same time, what am I teaching my son when I lie to his school?

 

By the way, if he had to miss school for court, that would be an excused absence.????

Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

Weird that your school would mark a kid visiting colleges as an unexcused absence. It's a rule without reason - especially during the fall semester for a HS senior.

 

Parents should do something about that - otherwise a kid is limited essentially to visiting local colleges and even then not seeing a college during the class week (so no ability to attend a class or see if school heartbeat during the week is the same as a weekend). The restriction hurts a kid in weighing all the variables which go into choosing a school. For athletes invited to a weekend OV where airline travel occurs Friday, it's impossible.

 

personally, I'd tell the HS whatever was needed to protect your kids grades. And I'd tell your kid to not advertise what the system made him do as well as tell him you will cut him no slack in making up the work.

Originally Posted by Goosegg:

Weird that your school would mark a kid visiting colleges as an unexcused absence. It's a rule without reason - especially during the fall semester for a HS senior.

 

Parents should do something about that - otherwise a kid is limited essentially to visiting local colleges and even then not seeing a college during the class week (so no ability to attend a class or see if school heartbeat during the week is the same as a weekend). The restriction hurts a kid in weighing all the variables which go into choosing a school. For athletes invited to a weekend OV where airline travel occurs Friday, it's impossible.

 

personally, I'd tell the HS whatever was needed to protect your kids grades. And I'd tell your kid to not advertise what the system made him do as well as tell him you will cut him no slack in making up the work.

My son is a junior, so no collage visits allowed per school rules.  I agree, that protecting his grades needs to come first.  Just wondering what others do.  

On other boards, I've seen the same discussion about absences. What I've learned is that certain states and districts are much more strict about absences and reasons for those absences than other districts. In my kid's school, my note would not have to go into detail about the reason. In fact, I could just call the attendance hotline and leave a message that my kid would be out without leaving a reason and the absence would be excused. Heck, in our school, once a kid turns 18 they can start excusing themselves.

 

If your school is really that strict, then I agree with Goosegg. Tell the school whatever will protect your child's academic record. Whether that's a family trip, illness or whatever.

 

Good luck to your son at Jupiter!

If he has the chance, go to Jupiter.

Maybe have him ask his teachers for the work IN ADVANCE, so he is not "making up the work".  He is doing it ahead!  

(The rules were made to not allow TOO many absences, for those chronic offenders. Find out exactly how many unexcused absences he is allowed.)  

 

When older son was in middle school, we got an invitation to tour the White House during Christmas, shortly after 9/11 when security was tight.  We wrote for an excused absence, but the administration made my son have each of his teachers sign off that it was an UNexcused absence.  Each teacher wrote beside his/her signature to have fun and have a great time!  Not only did we get to tour the White House, but we got a congressional tour of the Capitol, walked through the tunnels, and watched bills being voted on.  My kids probably learned more that day outside the classroom than inside.

 

Sometimes you do what you gotta do.

 

 

Originally Posted by kandkfunk:

On other boards, I've seen the same discussion about absences. What I've learned is that certain states and districts are much more strict about absences and reasons for those absences than other districts. In my kid's school, my note would not have to go into detail about the reason. In fact, I could just call the attendance hotline and leave a message that my kid would be out without leaving a reason and the absence would be excused. Heck, in our school, once a kid turns 18 they can start excusing themselves.

 

If your school is really that strict, then I agree with Goosegg. Tell the school whatever will protect your child's academic record. Whether that's a family trip, illness or whatever.

 

Good luck to your son at Jupiter!

Our school is the same. I've never had to provide more than the info that he will be absent. Additionally, we're (or at least my kids) lucky enough to be on a 4-day school schedule, so they get every Friday off in any event. makes a lot of the travel easier.

Dadofa17,

our situation was exactly as you described. When my son went on visits, it was considered an unexcused absence. Our school system considers all absences unexcused. It's totally idiotic. I had multiple discussions with coach and administration. No luck. They did admit that they would look to change rules in future. So we said whatever we had to. We tried to get assignments in advance. Some teachers complied, others did not. It was VERY frustrating. Good luck but I would not skip Jupiter. 

Originally Posted by Dadofa17:

We have tried very hard to make sure school comes first and baseball second for my son.  We seldom allow him to miss school for a baseball event.  However, as they get older, this gets harder.  We took a Friday off to visit a collage that is very interested in him.  It was a great decision, since the school is heavy recruiting him now.  However, we had to tell the school he was sick, so it would be considered an "excused absence.  He now has a chance to go to Jupiter.  That will mean missing at least two days of school.   Do you tell the school the truth?  At my son's school, it will be considered an unexcused absence and he will not be allowed to make up any work.  At the same time, what am I teaching my son when I lie to his school?

 

By the way, if he had to miss school for court, that would be an excused absence.????

I hate to ask, but you didn't mention, did you talk to the HS baseball coach?  Surely he has been through this rodeo before with the administration.  Did he have any advice? 

Ok here is my opinion.  First, I am a stickler for going to school.  Showing up is 50% of the battle for good grades.  So we never miss school for a vacation (so far). 

 

With that said, you are the parent.  I would call the school, tell them your expectation is that the absence will be "excused" and he will be able to complete all assignments without penalty.  If they say anything, let them know that you are the f'ing parent, you'll do what is best for your kid, and they can shut the heck up.  It is amazing what we allow school districts, boards, etc. to get away with these days. 

sorry your school is so rigid. At ours Jr got 2 college visit days. 

Teachers can take personal days for whatever they need(which I support) but a student is threatened w not bring allowed to make up work because they miss a few days. Sad that some families will have to lie to get around this. At least the student is looking at colleges, so many kids r drop outs and have no plan.

what is the AD take on these situations?  I would fight for my stu athletes who have every intention of doing class work and just need to miss a few days for college visits/tourn. Funny how HS athletes can go to state in their sport and have those days be excused, but if you have great athletic opportunity outside school walls it's different. 

Last edited by playball2011

Thanks all.  I was planning to talk with the coach, but now I may talk with the AD.  The coach is new this year and I know the AD well enough to have a candid discussion.  I agree it is crazy.  My son misses very little school time.  Most years it is one or two days, and the he is truly sick.  

 

We ARE going to Jupiter, it is just a matter of where the school thinks he is :-)  

Originally Posted by Dadofa17:

Thanks all.  I was planning to talk with the coach, but now I may talk with the AD.  The coach is new this year and I know the AD well enough to have a candid discussion.  I agree it is crazy.  My son misses very little school time.  Most years it is one or two days, and the he is truly sick.  

 

We ARE going to Jupiter, it is just a matter of where the school thinks he is :-)  

I doubt the school will guess Jupiter as an answer to the question, "Where on earth is Dadofa17 son?"

College visits are unexcused absences? That seems ridiculous to me. Shoot I went on like a ton of college visits throughout hs and don't ever remember taking an unexcused absence. 

 

I like what one poster said above, "sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do."

 

As long as he gets all of his work completed and does a solid job with his grades I don't see how his school's administration get on his case.

Originally Posted by Austin Womack:

College visits are unexcused absences? That seems ridiculous to me. Shoot I went on like a ton of college visits throughout hs and don't ever remember taking an unexcused absence. 

 

I like what one poster said above, "sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do."

 

As long as he gets all of his work completed and does a solid job with his grades I don't see how his school's administration get on his case.

The problem is that if this is recorded as an unexcused absence, he is not allowed to make up the work.  For example, if they have a test, he gets a zero.  I am sure most of his teachers will work with him, but it looks like a case of the flu may be coming on.  

Originally Posted by Dadofa17:
Originally Posted by Austin Womack:

College visits are unexcused absences? That seems ridiculous to me. Shoot I went on like a ton of college visits throughout hs and don't ever remember taking an unexcused absence. 

 

I like what one poster said above, "sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do."

 

As long as he gets all of his work completed and does a solid job with his grades I don't see how his school's administration get on his case.

The problem is that if this is recorded as an unexcused absence, he is not allowed to make up the work.  For example, if they have a test, he gets a zero.  I am sure most of his teachers will work with him, but it looks like a case of the flu may be coming on.  

Can he not go to his teachers and tell them, "hey I have a college visit two weeks from now. I know we have a test that day. Can I take the test after/before school the day before?" Or anything else resembling that example.

 

I can't see teachers responding in anything but a positive, helpful way if you go to them plenty of time in advance and explain the reason they are missing class is because of a college visit.

Don't understand the school's position on this relating to college visits as a Junior.  Rather astounding that they don't allow it in today's world.  That's when 90% of the 'normal students' take it.

 

I do believe in telling the truth and accepting the consequences.

 

I contrast this situation to my youngest daughter.  Our older son gets called back to the big leagues.  Wife calls school, tells them we're going to take her out to go to DC for 4 days (1.5 school days).  Tells them we will 'take our lumps' if they don't wanna excuse it.

 

What does school do?  Pulls her out of class and calls her up to the assistant principal's office.  Asst. Principal wants to know if SHE knows why she's being pulled out of school. A little nervous, she tells them the truth (same as my wife told them).

 

Their response?  COMPLETE and TOTAL excitement with her/for her.  Gives her a camera to take pictures, a school cap for her brother to wear for a picture and the principal's phone number to text him pictures and updates.  Reschedules her tests/quizzes for when she returns.  Oh yeah, an excused absence as well.

 

I love that school - great education and a GREAT faculty and staff that supports the kids.  This is what makes kids love their school and feel motivated to return the favor.

 

But even at our older son's HS in CA, they woulda had a similar approach as the OP's school, we woulda told the truth and taken our lumps.  We just feel its important for our kids to see that.

Last edited by justbaseball

justbaseball....that's a great story...wish all schools were like that. 

 

Here's how ridiculous a school can be.

 

Son's friend (2015 grad) from a fairly small school not far from here.  Small enough that EVERYONE in town knows this kid.  2 sport athlete...great student, etc.  Left this past July for 13 weeks of Marine boot camp.  Comes thru it with flying colors....awards, etc.   Gets to come home a few weeks ago for 5 days.  Stops up at his HS during school hours to say hello to some former teachers...with another service member from his grad class who is IN UNIFORM!!!    Stop in the office...and are turned away....NO VISITORS if you're not on school business!!!!

 

I was so pissed off I was going to write a letter to the school, the newspaper editor...whoever would listen.....but fortunately I didn't have to.  It got really ugly in that little town....real quick when people found out.  Needless to say I don't think they'll have that issue again....lol

Originally Posted by justbaseball:

Don't understand the school's position on this relating to college visits as a Junior.  Rather astounding that they don't allow it in today's world.  That's when 90% of the 'normal students' take it.

 

I do believe in telling the truth and accepting the consequences.

 

I contrast this situation to my youngest daughter.  Our older son gets called back to the big leagues.  Wife calls school, tells them we're going to take her out to go to DC for 4 days (1.5 school days).  Tells them we will 'take our lumps' if they don't wanna excuse it.

 

What does school do?  Pulls her out of class and calls her up to the assistant principal's office.  Asst. Principal wants to know if SHE knows why she's being pulled out of school. A little nervous, she tells them the truth (same as my wife told them).

 

Their response?  COMPLETE and TOTAL excitement with her/for her.  Gives her a camera to take pictures, a school cap for her brother to wear for a picture and the principal's phone number to text him pictures and updates.  Reschedules her tests/quizzes for when she returns.  Oh yeah, an excused absence as well.

 

I love that school - great education and a GREAT faculty and staff that supports the kids.  This is what makes kids love their school and feel motivated to return the favor.

 

But even at our older son's HS in CA, they woulda had a similar approach as the OP's school, we woulda told the truth and taken our lumps.  We just feel its important for our kids to see that.

+1 on this.  Pretty sure if son went to Jupiter we'd find the AD and head coach sneaking into his bags to tag along (we don't turn out a lot of national talent).  Dadofa17, is your son's school so large that every kid is a number and they have to have strict policies?  

FWIW, we have had High Schools request information about events that could cause a student to be absent.  

 

Not sure how all high schools operate, but evidently some do excuse students if the reason for being absent is career or college related. We have also ran across some that would not allow missing a day or two.  Often those that aren't allowed to miss classes, work around it by just playing on the weekend.

 

Personally, I think high schools should always work with students on outside experiences that could create opportunities.  Some do, some don't!  

 

I don't believe in lying and don't understand why schools have rules that make lying almost necessary. 

 

Back when I was in HS we had a football coach that went by the rules. We had a chance to win a state championship finishing the regular season unbeaten.  One of the players reported to the coach that the star of our football team (Ron) was smoking cigarettes.

 

Of course, smoking was one of the coaches rules and the first offense resulted in a two week suspension. So the coach, who BTW is in the state Hall of Fame, confronted Ron at the next practice to discuss this second hand report.  It went like this....

 

Coach: Ron, someone has reported that you were seen smoking. What do you have to say.

 

Ron:  Coach, OK I admit it, yes I was smoking!

 

Coach:  (expletive) (expletive) Why did you have to go and say that Ron? Why the hell didn't you just say it wasn't true!

 

Ron was suspended, we got beat, he never played again.

Originally Posted by PGStaff:

FWIW, we have had High Schools request information about events that could cause a student to be absent.  

 

Not sure how all high schools operate, but evidently some do excuse students if the reason for being absent is career or college related. We have also ran across some that would not allow missing a day or two.  Often those that aren't allowed to miss classes, work around it by just playing on the weekend.

 

Personally, I think high schools should always work with students on outside experiences that could create opportunities.  Some do, some don't!  

 

I don't believe in lying and don't understand why schools have rules that make lying almost necessary. 

 

Back when I was in HS we had a football coach that went by the rules. We had a chance to win a state championship finishing the regular season unbeaten.  One of the players reported to the coach that the star of our football team (Ron) was smoking cigarettes.

 

Of course, smoking was one of the coaches rules and the first offense resulted in a two week suspension. So the coach, who BTW is in the state Hall of Fame, confronted Ron at the next practice to discuss this second hand report.  It went like this....

 

Coach: Ron, someone has reported that you were seen smoking. What do you have to say.

 

Ron:  Coach, OK I admit it, yes I was smoking!

 

Coach:  (expletive) (expletive) Why did you have to go and say that Ron? Why the hell didn't you just say it wasn't true!

 

Ron was suspended, we got beat, he never played again.

Gotta ask. Whatever became of the kid that ratted out Ron to the coach?

Originally Posted by roothog66:
Originally Posted by PGStaff:

 

Back when I was in HS we had a football coach that went by the rules. We had a chance to win a state championship finishing the regular season unbeaten.  One of the players reported to the coach that the star of our football team (Ron) was smoking cigarettes.

 

Of course, smoking was one of the coaches rules and the first offense resulted in a two week suspension. So the coach, who BTW is in the state Hall of Fame, confronted Ron at the next practice to discuss this second hand report.  It went like this....

 

Coach: Ron, someone has reported that you were seen smoking. What do you have to say.

 

Ron:  Coach, OK I admit it, yes I was smoking!

 

Coach:  (expletive) (expletive) Why did you have to go and say that Ron? Why the hell didn't you just say it wasn't true!

 

Ron was suspended, we got beat, he never played again.

Gotta ask. Whatever became of the kid that ratted out Ron to the coach?

You mean Ron's backup?

Originally Posted by Nuke83:
Originally Posted by roothog66:
Originally Posted by PGStaff:

 

Back when I was in HS we had a football coach that went by the rules. We had a chance to win a state championship finishing the regular season unbeaten.  One of the players reported to the coach that the star of our football team (Ron) was smoking cigarettes.

 

Of course, smoking was one of the coaches rules and the first offense resulted in a two week suspension. So the coach, who BTW is in the state Hall of Fame, confronted Ron at the next practice to discuss this second hand report.  It went like this....

 

Coach: Ron, someone has reported that you were seen smoking. What do you have to say.

 

Ron:  Coach, OK I admit it, yes I was smoking!

 

Coach:  (expletive) (expletive) Why did you have to go and say that Ron? Why the hell didn't you just say it wasn't true!

 

Ron was suspended, we got beat, he never played again.

Gotta ask. Whatever became of the kid that ratted out Ron to the coach?

You mean Ron's backup?

I have no way to know....but I bet the kid's parents are still tell anyone who'll listen how good the kid was in HS...even if it was 20 years ago....

 

Excused Absences Per California Educational Code Section 48205

A pupil shall be excused from school when the absence is:

1) Due to his or her illness.

2) Due to quarantine under the direction of a county or city health officer.

3) For the purpose of having medical, dental, optometrical, or chiropractic

services rendered.

4) For the purpose of attending the funeral services of a member of his or her

immediate family*, so long as the absence is not more than one day if the

service is conducted in California and not more than three days if the service

is conducted outside California.

5) For the purpose of jury duty in the manner provided for by law. [Must be

approved in advance]

6) Due to the illness or medical appointment during school hours of a child of

whom the pupil is the custodial parent.

7) Due to an appearance in court

8) Due to observance of a holiday or ceremony of his or her religion, attendance

at religious retreats [Not to exceed four hours per semester; must be approved

in advance at least one day prior to requested release]

9) Due to attendance at an employment conference [Must be approved in advance]

10) Due to need to secure proper immunization. [No more than 5 days]

11) Due to attendance at an educational conference on the legislative or judicial

process offered by a nonprofit organization when the pupil's absence is

requested in writing by the parent or guardian and approved by the principal or

a designated representative pursuant to uniform standards established by the

governing board.

12) For the purpose of serving as a member of a precinct board for an election

pursuant to Section 12302 of the Elections Code.

 

Other reasons will be considered that are requested in writing, consistent with

CVUSD Board Policy and approved by the school.

 

Edit:  forgot one more....For the purpose of spending time with a member of the pupil's immediate family, who is an active duty member of the uniformed services, as defined in Section 49701, and has been called to duty for, is on leave from, or has immediately returned from deployment to a combat zone or combat support position.  Absences granted pursuant to this paragraph shall be granted for a period of time to be determined at the discretion of the superintendent of the school district.

 

With rules like these, is it any wonder CA students (and their parents) take sick days instead of attempting to explain?

Last edited by GHHS-2016LHP
Originally Posted by GHHS-2016LHP:

Excused Absences Per California Educational Code Section 48205

A pupil shall be excused from school when the absence is:

1) Due to his or her illness.

2) Due to quarantine under the direction of a county or city health officer.

3) For the purpose of having medical, dental, optometrical, or chiropractic

services rendered.

4) For the purpose of attending the funeral services of a member of his or her

immediate family*, so long as the absence is not more than one day if the

service is conducted in California and not more than three days if the service

is conducted outside California.

5) For the purpose of jury duty in the manner provided for by law. [Must be

approved in advance]

6) Due to the illness or medical appointment during school hours of a child of

whom the pupil is the custodial parent.

7) Due to an appearance in court

8) Due to observance of a holiday or ceremony of his or her religion, attendance

at religious retreats [Not to exceed four hours per semester; must be approved

in advance at least one day prior to requested release]

9) Due to attendance at an employment conference [Must be approved in advance]

10) Due to need to secure proper immunization. [No more than 5 days]

11) Due to attendance at an educational conference on the legislative or judicial

process offered by a nonprofit organization when the pupil's absence is

requested in writing by the parent or guardian and approved by the principal or

a designated representative pursuant to uniform standards established by the

governing board.

12) For the purpose of serving as a member of a precinct board for an election

pursuant to Section 12302 of the Elections Code.

 

Other reasons will be considered that are requested in writing, consistent with

CVUSD Board Policy and approved by the school.

 

With rules like these, is it any wonder CA students (and their parents) take sick days instead of attempting to explain?

#4) "My Grandmother died...again."

Originally Posted by roothog66:
Originally Posted by GHHS-2016LHP:

Excused Absences Per California Educational Code Section 48205

A pupil shall be excused from school when the absence is:

1) Due to his or her illness.

2) Due to quarantine under the direction of a county or city health officer.

3) For the purpose of having medical, dental, optometrical, or chiropractic

services rendered.

4) For the purpose of attending the funeral services of a member of his or her

immediate family*, so long as the absence is not more than one day if the

service is conducted in California and not more than three days if the service

is conducted outside California.

5) For the purpose of jury duty in the manner provided for by law. [Must be

approved in advance]

6) Due to the illness or medical appointment during school hours of a child of

whom the pupil is the custodial parent.

7) Due to an appearance in court

8) Due to observance of a holiday or ceremony of his or her religion, attendance

at religious retreats [Not to exceed four hours per semester; must be approved

in advance at least one day prior to requested release]

9) Due to attendance at an employment conference [Must be approved in advance]

10) Due to need to secure proper immunization. [No more than 5 days]

11) Due to attendance at an educational conference on the legislative or judicial

process offered by a nonprofit organization when the pupil's absence is

requested in writing by the parent or guardian and approved by the principal or

a designated representative pursuant to uniform standards established by the

governing board.

12) For the purpose of serving as a member of a precinct board for an election

pursuant to Section 12302 of the Elections Code.

 

Other reasons will be considered that are requested in writing, consistent with

CVUSD Board Policy and approved by the school.

 

With rules like these, is it any wonder CA students (and their parents) take sick days instead of attempting to explain?

#4) "My Grandmother died...again."

I have a co-worker who in his 5 years of employment has had 3 grandmothers, at least 6 grandfathers....and 3 fathers pass away.....all conveniently located 3-4 hours away as to require multiple days off....lol

Bumping this thread because my wife and I were discussing my daughter's planned absence from school for a day while we stretch a long weekend into a mini-vacation.

 

My daughter informed us that her high school now considers "mental health day" a valid reason for excusing absences.

 

I can't think of a better way to promote mental health than going to Florida and playing baseball. Sounds like an excused absence to me. 

Originally Posted by Nuke83:
Originally Posted by Dadofa17:

Good news.  It looks like his school does allow for college visits as a junior.  I guess we need to drive across one of the Florida campuses on the way down :-)

Florida Atlantic University is literally touching Roger Dean Complex

That is just a satellite campus for local commuters, and not considered their main campus so be careful what is said for an excuse.

Last edited by TPM

Can't speak for all.  Our school only allows college visits to seniors.  We have a standard policy on excused absences and so, being absent for a trip might not be accepted as excused.  I have players in all sports that leave.  I have one leaving this coming Friday,  That student was very thoughtful and gave me a list of dates that they will not be in attendance for their sport.  So, we have worked things out.  I'm supposed to be in the business of kids so I work with them.  That's what I do.  I don't judge others. 

Add Reply

Post
.
×
×
×
×
Link copied to your clipboard.
×