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mom of HS player needs advice

M Mom121110+ posts
My son, a HS sophomore, has had a heart-breaking experience after try-outs at his HS. I would very much appreciate candid support and advice to help me understand and direct his future in baseball. (For privacy, I will call him Joe).

First, "Joe" has been recognized throughout his 7 (?) years of little league (inc. every summer of All Stars) as being a standout for his versatility, speed, and ability as a player (could play most infield/outfield positions well- mostly 1st and center). He played center fielder in 7th and 8th grades as he is considered very fast, agile in scooping up the ball and quick at getting it back infield. He is astute at making sound judgments in his position. Before try-outs in his freshman year, his (new-to-the HS) coach assured me that Joe was on the team because I was concerned about the $350 for equipment due several months prior to the beginning of the season. Joe tried out and was accepted on the team. By the way, Joe has never even sat on the bench throughout his "career." He was always considered an exceptional outfielder, an exceptional "athlete" compared to most, and a decent albeit inconsistent hitter. (To help in this area, he has spent every week for 6 months training with a coach at the local batting cages). Joe has played on summer league teams for the past 2 summers and his coaches have commented to me on his abilities.

The problem is that last week after 2 days of try-outs, one of them raining, Joe found himself not on the list to play, something he never even considered happening. He and 2-3 other sophomores were removed from the team in order to make way for several 9th graders (sadly known amongst the city's baseball families as son's of "over-the-top" micro-managing moms who are actively "involved"/visible in the school and sports teams, dads who hang out at every practice on the sidelines, and coached little league (not with the same values that I have instilled in my son). My son's coach, at my request, fought successfully to keep him on his team every season, to avoid those coaches and to ensure preserving our values of sportsmanship.

In addition (my understanding through the grapevine), the new center fielder came from out-of-state after his mother spoke to the two in-town team coaches to determine where her son was guaranteed to play. Our coach supposedly told her there was an "opening" which says to me that he was willing to "sacrifice" Joe with the boy sight-unseen. Joe nor I had any inclination that he was not adequate. As a matter of fact, one of the assistant summer league coaches who worked directly with Joe one day told him that he was assuredly going to play some Varsity as good a player as he was (as recent as Oct. 2008). Sadly, after this year, only 2 Seniors will leave the team and I fear that those slots will be filled through manipulation and poor judgment.

I am not a pushy mom and I have no interest in living my life through my children, but I am consumed with the political unfairness that has been demonstrated these past 2 weeks. Joe doesn't have a dad present in his daily life and I know little except that which I have written. He shows sportsmanship in everything he plays, has an exceptional attitude on and off the ball field, and loves baseball (even dropped 1st-string positions in basketball and football to play his favorite sport). 3 present and past coaches have told me that it is clear that the team was chosen prior to try-outs based on two days (one raining)even though, when asked, the HS coach told me that Joe had not shown "improvement" in hitting or throwing during try-outs (He played well last year and had never been told he needed improvement in the past, even though we all have need of improvement).

I am asking any of you with patience enough to read this plea, to guide me in understanding this situation and to guide me as far as whether his baseball pursuits must be over now that he doesn't play for the HS team. I think his self-esteem has been crushed (as he was completely blind-sided by the act of pretense and deception) which I hate to see in this great kid who only wants to play based on his own talents and abilities (Will not let me interfere, nor will he advocate for himself due to the unfairness). Thank you for taking the time for a truly fine and gifted athlete and young man!

Mom1211
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06catcherdad06catcherdad1,000+ posts
Mom, I'm sure others will have more to contribute than I can, but all is not lost by any means.

One of the young men who plays baseball on my teams was cut last spring from his high school's varsity team, so he too missed a critical year. He kept working out, stayed in shape and game ready. When summer came, he was ready to play to the best of his ability. It was good enough to get him a baseball opportunity at one of the finest universities in the nation for this coming fall. Of course, it also looks like he'll be playing varsity baseball this spring, his senior year.

Feel free to send me a private message if you have questions. And, welcome to high school baseball web, you've found a great resource.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Welcome to the HSBBW and I am sorry for your son's dilemma.
First thing, your son needs to go back to the coach to ask why he did not make the team. He needs feedback. He should be able to provide the reasons, and I wouldn't jump to conclussions until he asks and hears it. Was there practice before tryouts? Sometimes coaches know by practice who will make the team and who will not. As one moves up the ladder, the bat becomes more important than the position, you have said yourself he is inconsistant.

There are politics everywhere, but IMO, HS coaches pick the best players for their team. Sometimes players assume they will make the team, maybe because they played the previous year, maybe that is their perception because of things that they are told by others. What type of team did your son play on outside of HS, a local team or a competitive team that travels. Has your son ever showcased for evaluation? Why did the coach have to fight to keep him on his LL team each year at your request? Have you stayed back and watched from the sidelines or have you repeatedly been too involved in his game?

South Carolina is strange, from my understanding strange things go on up there, but most coaches try to stay highly competitive.

It's important to find out why he didn't make the team and improve upon what he needs to do to make the team next year.

If your son is that good, a competitive travel team will not turn him away.

I am not trying in anyway to be hurtful, I don't know your son, but you do have to find out why and then go to work on what needs to be done.
Last edited by TPM
F 3FingeredGlove1,000+ posts
Could you clarify if the HS has only one team, and no frosh or JV team?

Also, in our locale, several freshman making varsity is quite rare. Would you mind mentioning how many male students attend the high school? And roughly how many players are carried on the team?

Finally, how would your son's hitting rank on last year's team? He was playing varsity, right? For example, upper/middle/lower third in terms of average or on base average or slugging.


I do have an immediate reaction to your post, but the answers to the above questions may change my mind.
M Mom121110+ posts
To answer (in appreciation) to some replies . . .
My son played as a freshman last year on the JV team (There is JV and Varsity only). He attends a high school with 1250 students. 35 players tried out for the two teams combined and 25 made the team.

To TPM, I tried to explain that "Joe" has always been in the top picks for teams in the past. I don't think his skills have declined to keep him from making the team. Several players and many of his peers could not believe he didn't make the team due to his reputation on the team (I am not one to judge my own son's ability), and several players' moms called to tell me that he is such a great baseball player that they could not believe he didn't make the team and that their own sons, however grateful for their own spots, were angry at what they believed to be "sketchy" about his not getting on team. In other words, the players would have "hands-down" chosen Joe. He has not showcased (I just learned about this- I think he was told to do this as a Jr.). I have never imposed myself onto any coach by hanging out on the sidelines! I actually do just the opposite which is to sit in the stands and go home. I go to all of his games as I am the only parent. His Little League coach "fought" (for lack of a better term) for Joe because he knew how much I needed for him to have a positive, ethical male role model. So, when the coaches would met at the beginning of each season to choose their players, after their first draft choice of "pitcher," Joe was usually 2nd or 3rd pick. His coach would choose Joe and often would hear the 2 others contest his always getting Joe on his team. Trust me, he was a good friend who had Joe's best interests at heart, for me.

Anyway, he is a sophomore who was "removed" along with 2 other sophomores from the JV team. The new freshmen for whose skills I can only attest to based on years of watching ball games and hearing coaches'/parents' comments are fair to good, but not the ability of Joe's as an all-around player. Based on the comments of one of you, batting is critical in HS. As objectively as possible, I think Joe's batting is above average, he gets a good hit most times up to bat but might strike out once out of 4-5 times up at bat. His two years on his competitive travel teams, he is usually the 1st or 2nd batter in the line-up.

I am only concerned about 2 "now" freshman making Varsity with parental help NEXT year as sophomores. If they do, Joe, being a Junior, will have no where to play (can't play JV as a Jr.).

Does that help clarify? I am sorry if I sound blameful or over-protective. I have not needed to deal with this type of situation before as every coach Joe has had has been fair and with the highest integrity. I am being as honest about this as I can.
AcademyDadAcademyDad500+ posts
.

I'm somewhat confused. He is a sophomore now? He got cut from the Varsity roster? Is he still on the JV roster? You're concerned about the two younger kids "leap frogging" Joe? Does he currently have a position on some team at the HS?

Not making any judgements, just asking for clarification. You will get plenty of advice here... some you'll like, some you won't... and most importantly, welcome, even under dubious circumstances.

cadDAD

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TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Thanks for some clarification. But still also confused over some things. Did he make the team and then removed, do you feel that since he was on the team last year he was replaced?

I still suggest that he goes to speak to the coach as to what happened to get feedback.
Last edited by TPM
L LHPMom2012100+ posts
That really sucks. I think everyone will, at some time during their athlete's career, will be on the wrong end of a situation like this. It's really hard when it happens in high school and you can't just transfer to another team.

It sounds like Joe has benefitted from LL and travel coaches who've had his best interests at heart. Call them, tell what happened; you can probably get better guidance from people who know you and Joe and what baseball is like in your town rather than anonymous posters on the internet, no matter how adorable we all might be.

I know there is nothing worse for a parent to watch her child hurt. And I'm sure you'll hear the story of how Michael Jordan was cut from his JV team his sophmore year as well.

Hopefully Joe will continue to work hard, have playing opportunities with a travel team, and the coach will realize he made a mistake and offer him a position next year.

Best of luck to you both.

LHPMom
S Shamrock0110+ posts
I have had three boys go through the high school baseball program. My last son who is a junior this year decided to play on a connie mack team last summer. He wanted the opportunity to see if he had what it takes to play in college. His highschool team plays in a lower level and no connie mack. Needless to say his highschool coach told me my son would not play varsity this year due to not playing with him last year. I told my son to be positive and kill the coach with kindness.

My point being there are more teams with coaches who either do not know how to coach or their egos cloud their judgement. The summer team we played on last year actually had a couple kids who had been cut from their high school teams. These kids were very good and ended up with opportunities to play at the next level.

I spoke with several college scouts this summer and they told me they realize there are only a handful of highschool coaches that are good. That is the reason they travel in the summer watching the connie mack teams for kids the may have missed.

I would suggest you ask for a meeting with his coach to see why he did not make the team. Tell the coach you simply want to know what he needs to work on to improve. I would then look for a good summmer team. I would think you have connie mack teams in your area. These are kids who have graduated and are headed to college or top high school talent. Also, do you guys have fall teams? Our fall teams travel and play Junior college teams which gets kids a look from colleges. Another avenue is to start visiting colleges your son may be interested in attending. These schools have summer and fall baseball camps. Email the college coach telling him he is interested in attending his camp and would like to meet during the camp.

Don't burn the bridge with your high school coach as your son may want to tryout again. Another avenue may be for your son next fall to go to the coach and ask him to work with him during the fall. The coach then sees first hand along with the time they are working together how good your son may be. It is all a game and I tell my kids you will probably get a boss someday you will not like as well.

Good luck and tell your son not to give up. The high school season is so short. Get ready and play summer and fall where he has a better chance to be seen and make new friends outside his school.
M Mom121110+ posts
First, thank you all for your candid advice- I am tough and can take it Smile I want to do what is best for my son- I have learned that the consensus is that I stay out of it, and I am glad to hear that. I have run a hundred scenarios through my mind and most are not taking the high road and that is not what I want to teach Joe. At the same time, I don't like unfair treatment of any child (the teacher in me speaking Smile!

OK, to clarify and answer questions:
- We live in the Upstate of SC
- Joe is a sophomore and was cut from JV. He no longer plays baseball at the high school even though he played for "feeder" middle school 7th and 8th grades and JV in 9th (Last year he was told by same coach that he would be on team even before freshman try-outs).
-The 2 younger ones, if left to their meddlesome parents will be attempting over the next year to "leap-frog" to Varsity as sophomores (they have done it in the past in football (son as 8th grader leaped over all of 9th graders playing 2nd year of C-team to JV). Dad is known for having son's low grades changed in order to keep in sports! Sickening, really!
- My main problem with this decision is that, in my humble opinion, it wreaked with politics. It is not a way to blame someone for Joe not making the team. If I thought he was truly not a strong player, I would accept that he is not as good as others. I happen to know the others and do not feel that they are as strong of players. Admittedly, I have never seen the player from out-of-town who is to take Joe's position. He was told, from my source, sight-unseen, that there was an "opening" for center field when, in fact, Joe had played it every game effectively (or else, why would he be in center field?) But, based on Joe's 3 other coaches' interpretations of the situation (mainly the choice being made after only 2 days of try-outs and attendance every day for months of conditioning), the coach had chosen this team before try-outs took place! All of this is wrong. in my opinion.
YoungGunDadYoungGunDadHSBaseballWeb member since 2005
quote:
Originally posted by Shamrock01:

Needless to say his highschool coach told me my son would not play varsity this year due to not playing with him last year.



I'm not sure if you mean he couldn't play varsity for him because of not playing on the coaches summer team the summer prior. If that is the case, here in Georgia that coach would be severely reprimanded and/or fired. It is against Ga. HS Assoc. rules for a coach to dictate/demand a player to play on his summer travel team or suffer the consequences. I'm sure this may be the case in most states.

As far as being "leap frogged"....to the parents who's kid this is happening to at the time, it is confusing and often hurts. But I am here to tell ya, kids grow and mature while others stay right where they are and stop progressing. The 2 that leap frogged my son as sophomores to play varsity...1 quit his senior year...the other went on to college to play basketball. And oh yeah..my son ended up the team MVP his Senior year. Irony can be quite funny in the end. Hang in there mom.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
mom,
As mentioned you can come here and ask questions, chances are you won't always get the opinions that you want to hear.
IMO, there is no way that you should approach the coach as to why your son didn't make the team and what he has to do to improve.
That's up to him to find out.
I asked if you were in the upstate but you didn't answer. I know of some folks REAL involved in baseball from up that way, who might have some suggestions.

Best of luck to your son.

bbking you are joking aren't you?
Last edited by TPM
B bbking10+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by TPM:
mom,
As mentioned you can come here and ask questions, chances are you won't always get the opinions that you want to hear.
IMO, there is no way that you should approach the coach as to why your son didn't make the team and what he has to do to improve.
That's up to him to find out.
I asked if you were in the upstate but you didn't answer. I know of some folks REAL involved in baseball from up that way, who might have some suggestions.

Best of luck to your son.


TPM, she did answered

" We live in the Upstate of SC.." in her 3rd post of this topic.

No, I am not joking, I believe it can be done.
Last edited by bbking
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
Originally posted by bbking:
mom1211, if you have any videos of your son pitching or hitting, please post it on this site, that will be very helpful. We've got a lot of good coaches and baseball experts who can easily ID the talent level about your son. I know 25 man roster is very tough to make for a JV/V only high school. I doubt even my son who used to play for a top ranked travel team could make your HS team. So ID the talent level of your son first is very important for this discussion. If we can have a look at your son's ability, and all of us think that he got great talent, then I think we can all send e-mails to your HS AD to complian about the coach's incompetent, and maybe get the coach fired. Do you think this is a good solution for you.

bbking - I have got to tell you that your posts are highly questionable. This advice is improper and that is a terrible solution. The high school bbweb is not a tool to get coaches fired. I suggest reading the board manners very closely because I am beginning to wonder if you are just here to cause trouble. If that is the case, please do not post anymore.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Thanks CD, I feel bbking's post was totally out of line, that is NOT the purpose of the HSBBW.

Also the same here, if a coach doesn't take a player because he didn't play for him one summer, he would be in lots of trouble.

This is very confusing to me, maybe I am missing something. Last year it was ok that your son was told he made the team before tryouts, yet you are upset the same thing has happened this year with other players? Does being on feeder programs in middle school automatically set one up 4 years of HS ball, that doesn't happen here. And I never heard of a dad having son's grades changed so he could remain eligible, someone can get in some serious trouble.

Perhaps if this is all true, I understand why Clemson goes out of state to look for players. Too much drama, or perhaps not enough talent.
DD diamond darling100+ posts
This is a problem at every hs in the country -- you always have to worry about some kid moving into your hs and taking your son's spot even though your son played in that spot the year before. The bottom line is coaches don't have any loyalties to previous players from the year before. Each year is a new year. Your son needs to find out how he got beat out from the head jv coach. Then he needs to decide if he wants to continue on with improving his skills and continue playing summer ball. These kinds of situations, as painful as they are, have to be made by all baseball players at some point in their baseball careers whether it be Little League, HS, college etc... It's very painful and not fair, but God will use this experience to force your son to make a decision. Life is not fair and baseball sure isn't either. Your son has now seen the ugly side of the sport. At some time in his life he was going to experience it no matter what level he played at. Maybe he could transfer his athletic ability to doing something on the track team since their season is starting up too. You just never know what will happen as one door closes and another one is opened. Good luck!
S Shamrock0110+ posts
I waited until after the spring season to talk with the coach one on one to explain why we were not playing with the hs team for the summer. he kept me for nearly 2 hours telling me how selfish my wife and I were for not having my son play. He also told how none of hus team mates liked my son and how my son felt he was better than the rest of the kids.

I had to bite my tongue and tell the coach how my son would have to out work everyone and work hard to regain his confidence. He asked me what positions my son was going to play this summer and after I told him he laughed. He told me there was no way my son would compete and would sit the bench. Rather than create a problem I told the coach that was his take and we would find out. Some of the kids on the hs team told my son how the coach continued to tell the kids how my son was riding the bench and wasting his summer. A few of the kids stuck up for him and told the coach they had been to his games and he was starting and doing well. They challeneged the coach to attend a game to see for himself and he said I won't waste my time.

I told my son to take the high road and strike up positive conversations with the HS coach. However, the first three months of the new school year the coach refused to talk with my son. He is now finally starting to talk a little to him. Our HS coach told us my son would have to be superman to make varsity even though he has been on varsity since freshman year. My son has taken it well and we as parents have continued to be positive and not bad mouth the coach.

I have told my son he will run into guys like this in the real world and needs to learn how to handle it now. I told my son once you get your opportunity to play at the next level you will have the last laugh. It has made him stroger and he has elevated his game playing on older summer and fall teams.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
That really sucks. I think everyone will, at some time during their athlete's career, will be on the wrong end of a situation like this.
We don't know if the kid got screwed. We have the opinion of a parent. These opinions are usually biased. We don't have the coach's view of the situation. Sometimes it's not about being the best all around player. Sometimes it's about a player having a certain skill that fits a need.
Last edited by RJM
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
I would suggest you ask for a meeting with his coach to see why he did not make the team. Tell the coach you simply want to know what he needs to work on to improve.
Mommy shouldn't go fight a high school age boy's battles. If the boy cares enough about his future in the game, he should go talk to the coach.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
Here's part of a letter from my son's high school coaching staff to players and parents before tryouts start.....

"This time of year brings mixed emotions to the coaching staff. Although we are excited for the start of another season, we know that this time of year involves tryouts and the painful reality that not all players can make the team. There are a lot of talented athletes that we coaches have to choose from at a AAAA (largest school classification) high school. It also creates the problem of having to let go of players that have some ability. Obviously, that leaves many players disappointed."

I guarantee there will be upset parents who think their son's got screwed. The reality is not everyone can make the team even if they have some talent.

Also in the letter the coach encourages players who are cut to find a place to play and develop.
Last edited by RJM
F 3FingeredGlove1,000+ posts
Mom1211,
I know this is a tough situation to be in. I have real empathy for this, because my youngest son was cut from a competitive s****r team last year, and I felt a gamut of intense emotions. Six months later, the unfairness of it doesn't bother me so much. In fact, I now realize that my son's motivation was more important than any bias on the part of the coach.

For the moment, I'd like you to leave Joe out of it, and think ahead one year. If I understand correctly, and depending on how many underclassmen are on this year's varsity, there are between 8 and 11 juniors. Next spring, some of those then-seniors are going to get cut if the school holds to a 13 man roster. Or, if they elect to keep all the then-seniors, nearly all the then-juniors will be cut. No matter how objectively the cuts are made, the affected players are going to feel unfairly treated. It is, however, an unavoidable consequence of the lumpiness of talent level from year to year combined with small rosters. (A big roster doesn't actually fix the problem: it just allows some kids to "make" the team, but seldom play.) A lesson to draw from this is: contributing to this year's team doesn't assure making the team next year.

It's already been stated here that we posters can't realistically guess how your son's talent stacks up against the other players. But it looks to me like you don't have a good basis to judge either. I'm not referring to parental bias; you write thoughtfully, and I'm sure you're being as objective as possible. Instead, I refer to the criteria you have offered. For example, in the context of HS baseball, a selection to LL All-Stars has almost no meaning. It's a rare LL that makes those selections in an unbiased and knowledgeable manner. Moreover, kids vary in how much their skills develop over time.

So the other players felt Joe should have made the team? That's great; it means that Joe is well liked, and the other kids would prefer to play with him. It doesn't necessarily mean that he is the better player. Other kids' mom's opinions? You'll get the same stated opinion regardless of their actual thoughts.

I asked earlier whether his hitting was in the top/middle/bottom third of last year's team. Your reply was that he "get's a good hit most of the time". Nobody gets a hit or even makes good contact most of the time, so you're probably viewing Joe more as a fan than as a baseball scout. And, it's good that he hits 1 or 2 on his travel teams, but the important issue at HS is how he stacks up against his HS teammates.

None of this says that he isn't a fine player, but neither is it a good basis to form the opinion that the manipulation and poor judgement was the basis for selecting players.

About tryouts: Joe played all last season for the coach. He has had an extensive "tryout". My guess, based on what you have written, is that Joe is an excellent fielder and runner, but is not powerful at hitting or throwing. During tryouts this spring, the coach would have been looking for increased size and strength, and his comments about "improvement" should be taken in that light.

What to do? If Joe is to make the team next year, he needs to become perceptibly better than he is today. Let's say we rate players as A, B, or C. If Joe is really a B player, but the coach rates him as C, then Joe needs to to improve to the A category. Now the coach will see him as a B player, or even, because he improved rapidly, a B+ player.

So, as has already been recommended, Joe needs to go to the coach, and listen carefully and non-defensively to find out the areas of needed improvement. If Joe believes that the coach is wrong in his assessment of Joe's capability, it's not relevant. The coach's perception is the one that counts, and it's only going to be changed by actual improvement. Note that playing travel ball is good, and necessary. But Joe probably needs to do some individual strength training, and, for example, lots of long toss, if the coach wants a stronger arm. It may be a good idea for Joe to do some of this training at the school so the coach sees him. Improvement is more easily seen if it is expected.
tigercubtigercub10+ posts
Shamrock,

Could your son not have played both? Was that a proposal that you could have offered? Why put your son in that position if the coach felt so strongly against you playing travel? Why did you have a meeting with the coach and not your son? The coach could have been more annoyed with your meeting than him not playing. This coach may have an ego but I do of know many coaches that would appreciate a parent coming into his office and informing that their son is not playing summer ball for him.

I have had 2 boys through HS( almost last one is a sr) and never sat down with the HS coach about playing time or summer ball. They have always spoke with the coach personally about conflicts.

We( our travel organization) try and strike a good balance with players around here. Letting the player get his playing time on whatever needs the teams have for that days' game. If a player is not starting for us that day but will get the start on the HS team we would have him play with the HS team to get his AB's. It also helps us that our HS does not play on the weekend?

JMO
G grinder10+ posts
bbking that has gotta be the absolute stupidest piece of advise I have ever read on this board. I am a new member, so maybe someoene has actually offered more ridiculous advice, but I would find that hard to believe.

mom21, you will find a lot of good advice here, but as many have said you should stay out of it and let your son handle it. He most definitely should approach the coach and ask what he needs to work on to get ready for next years tryouts - then get busy!
B bbking10+ posts
I think you guys misread my post. First I asked about her son's video, then I put a very strict condition before action,qoute "If we can have a look at your son's ability, and all of us think that he got great talent... " To be honest, no matter how good we are, I've rarely seen all of us can agree on someone's batting or pitching skills unless you are a MLB player/prospect, check out the "hitting" or "pitching" forum for detail.

So, there's 50% chance Mom1211 doesn't have a video,
50% chance she won't post it here, and finally 99% chance we won't agree on her son's talent level. Thus, there's almost 100% chace no action will be taken by our board members, are you still afraid of getting into trouble? BTW, if Mom1211's statements are all true, like the "change grade" thing, someone is getting bigger trouble than me. So, relax, let it play out.
Last edited by bbking
TRhitTRhit10,000+ posts
A few things stand out in this discussion:

01--MOM says she did not intrude on selections etc but the she states the coach AT HER REQUEST, worked hard for her son.

02-- of lot of what she states is hearsay--parents getting grades doctored ---WOW

03-- the frosh players got to the team because of politics--is it not possible those players are better

04-- MOM you assume givens when it comes to being on a HS team--last year means nothing when this year arrives at the HS level


The regulars on here will tell I do not pull punches--I do not sugarcoat anything--that being said perhaps your son has reached the end of the road with baseball---you getting involved will not help matters and it is quite possible he is not as good as you think

BY the way what he did in LL means squat at the HS level---more players than you want to know about who were studs at the LL level never mature any further and do not even play HS ball
Last edited by TRhit
quillgirlquillgirl100+ posts
I think the advice given is very good. Your son's dilemma isn't unique, unfortunately. Whether it's truly politics, or your son hasn't developed in a way that makes him attractive to the coach, or there are too many who can fill his position but have a better bat, etc. In HS, it really becomes an issue of batting ability trumping all-- with few exceptions.

One (possibly controversial) suggestion that hasn't been made:
If you can afford private school, talk to the coach and admissions. There are a number of private schools close to us that have scholarships for good athletes and recruit. If you son is truly an excellent player, they may make room for him and give him a chance to play immediately. That means your son would need to be willing to change schools and be able to meet academic criteria, and get a commitment from the coach. Depending on the rules in your state, and openings in the schools he applies to, he might be able to play this season. It happens. I know of two kids who are good athletes, but didn't make Varsity this year at big Cobb County schools in GA, transferred to a private school nearby, and are practicing with the Varsity team right now. Coach was glad to get them.
T TxMom500+ posts
Dear Mom1211,
I'm so sorry that both you and your son are going through such a tough expereince with baseball...especially when it sounds like he really loves the sport. The good news is this is a wonderful opportunity to teach your son some very important lessons that will really make a difference in his life both on and off the field.

First, he needs to learn how to move forward from difficult experiences. The best thing you can do for him right now is to put the past behind you, look for the positives, and project confidence that everything will be fine. If you're not feeling it, fake it. Avoid people that continue to discuss the details. They will only drag you down and make it harder. Try to keep your emotions in check and put on your best, "Everything is going to be fine," face.

Second, he needs to learn how to see a positive "Big Picture" in every situation. Reassure him that he is more than just a baseball player. Remind him that struggle will make him stronger in the long run. Give him examples of athletes and other famous people who overcame adversity to do great things in life.

Third, build his confidence by supporting his efforts to handle the situation. Avoid the urge to talk with his HS coach, other dads, old coaches, etc. Let him do it if he wants. If not, support his decision to let it go. He needs to know that you honestly believe he can handle this because he's a great kid.

Finally, never forget that God loves this son of yours even more than you and can help you through all of this if you just ask.
Last edited by TxMom
trojan-skippertrojan-skipper1,000+ posts
TT: definitely a tough thing your boy is going thru.
1) HIS job: get better at baseball
2)Your job: help him to find a place where he can play this summer, and possibly this spring. Many rec teams get going right away... or whatever
3) together you can find a way for him to still play plenty of more baseball and ENJOY yourselves.

We all get cut at some point... then we just decide whether to keep playing elsewhere or not at all.

Blessings to you and your boy.
B Blprkfrnks100+ posts
Three things:

1. This is one reason you don't specialize on one sport in high school when you are good at several. To give up a starting spot in football and basketball when he knows he is a borderline baseball player was a mistake. He should definitely get back into those sports if possible.

2. There are two important parts of baseball that take a natural sort of ability. These are hitting and throwing. It is really hard to teach hitting to a player that doesn't have the hand-eye coordination and the ability to adjust in a split second. Bad throwing habits are so ingrained by high school that it is really hard to make changes by then. Players without the natural throwing ability tend to struggle when a quick throw is needed or a throw is needed to a different place than was expected. Unfortunately, this player struggles in these two areas and it will be a tough, but not impossible, road to improvement.

3. 25 roster spots for two teams seems low. If they lose a couple kids to injuries or grades, they are going to be very shorthanded.
quillgirlquillgirl100+ posts
he level of talent that would be recruited for a private school wouldn't get overlooked at a high school tryout.

That may or may not be true. Sometimes very large schools must cut very good talent due to an abundance of players but a smaller private school would be more than happy to acquire them. I see it happen time and again in our area. Kids may go from a AAAAA school to a AA or A, but they play ball. Some of the AA or A schools in our area can compete talent-wise with the AAAAA schools because they recruit good players, so you can't judge talent by the size of a private school's student body. Mom has to look for the right situation for the boy, if going private is a consideration.

It's like looking for a college. You aren't constrained by geography anymore and can look around for a good fit at a school that wants and needs you. If this kid is really good and was cut due to politics, he'll find a spot at a private school. If he's just an average/good player, he might still find a spot. It takes some research and a willingness to go looking.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
Maybe it's just my view of the world. Maybe it's just my son's view of the world. My son was cut from the basketball program as a soph despite being the starting point guard on the freshman team. His passion for basketball is a notch behind baseball and many notches above s****r. The coach said it was due to not attending most of the optional offseason workouts. In the fall my son was busy playing varsity s****r and travel fall ball. The basketball coach added if my son commits to the program he'd love to have him back. **

When the word got out, I got calls from two private schools. They were AA level. Our high school is AAAA (the largest). In both cases it was expressed they would love to have him play three sports.

When I told my son he gave me an incredulous look. He said, "What would be the sense of moving down to AA just to prove I can play? It wouldn't prove I could play at the AAAA level."

Baseball was also a consideration in that comment. He didn't want to drop down to AA baseball. He'll also be the only soph starting on varsity. He's playing in the town high school rec basketball program and having fun. He found a place to continue playing and enjoy it.

** Before anyone states what the basketball coach did is illegal, both the coach and I know it. We're friends. We had an honest talk about the situation when we ran into each other after cuts. With another parent he would have had to tap dance with his reasoning. But, in many high school sports the coach wants the full attention of the athletes. They just have to be careful how they say it.
Last edited by RJM
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