New Asst Baseball Coach

Got to keep a positive attitude, the old kill 'em with kindness treatment, and hope you find a good summer team to play for

I would worry about the wind being out of his sails I wouldn't worry about something I couldn't control. If that is the worse thing that he encounters in this game consider yourself lucky. That scenario does not stop him from doing anything he needs to do. In fact it should motivate him to do even more.

 

Remember one day your son will be a senior. And there will be someone posting on a message board that their son is not getting a fair shake because the coach is playing a Sr in front of him. Just a thought. Good luck

You're receiving very good advice here. Help your son to learn to worry about the things he can control: attitude, work effort, outside work, etc.

 

If it's any help, 2013 is on his third head varsity coach in four years. First coach had the same approach - seniors had paid their dues and would be given their spots. Second coach said the best nine will play, regardless of class. Result? Almost identical records.

 

While we don't always agree with a coach's philosophy, I have a much greater respect for those who spell it out and stick by it than the one who might say one thing and do another (or another). I think we've all witnessed those from time to time, too.

 

Best of luck to your son. He has a great opportunity to be a good teammate.

 

That really sucks. My son is in a freshman this year and has a better skill set and game time know how than the two JR/SR  catchers but was never given a chance. Like other posters said: I told him to bust his butt to prove that he has what it takes. Although I have no faith in the coach's competencies I told him that he has to buy into the way he does things because it will only distance him from his goals. I am a firm believer that you field the best player but I'm not the one making the decisions. So try to let it go, eventhough its hard, and tell your son to continue to work at making that decision harder for the coaching staff. Good luck.

It is SO important to use these opportunities to teach our kids the importance of attitude and perspective.  You highlighted "even if you're better"...  I suggest highlighting "play where we put you".  That sounds like an opportunity to play somewhere.  Enourage your son to focus on that as motivation to grab any opportunity that arises.  Teach him to work to be fully prepared for when that opportunity does come up, whatever it is, whenever it is.

 

Regarding tryouts-  whether it is an official try-out or not, for most schools, the boys get plenty of time in front of the coaches before the season starts.  They are with them for several hours every day.  There are typically several coaches providing a steady diet of feedback to the coach that ultimately makes the decisions.  If there is enough separation in skill set and readiness, a younger player will get his chances.  If not, his time will come and that is where he should be focused - not on how he was wronged because he is being told he is better than an older player but not getting his spot.

Best wishes and enjoy him being part of a team, regardless of his role. 

 

 

This!  (x10!)

As my son's college coach said "be prepared to perform in any role and things seldom end the way they start."

 

It's a long season (even if it seems short). Stay positive and keep working hard. You never know when opportunity will knock. You need to be ready when it does, mentally and physically. You also want the coach to be thinking about you when the opportunity presents.

I think some of you missing the point of the responses your getting. There is not one player that will not experience a hardship of some kind in this game. If they have not just wait its coming. You can spend your time worrying, complaining, etc etc but that will not solve a thing. And in many cases will take the joy of the game from the parent. Create bitterness, resentment and in some cases sour the attitude of the player.

What can the player control? Focus on that. Stay positive and understand that fire might weaken the steel but in time only makes it stronger. Tough times don't last but tough people do. Talent, hard work, discipline, dedication, a positive attitude will win out. Unless your distracted by things that are out of your control and then not prepared to handle those things that are.

how is the asst coach calling the shots---where is the head coach thru all this

I wanted to add that my son is taking the approach "as long as I'm playing I'm good with that." It's me that doesn't agree with playing time being based on grade & name instead of talent, ability, attitude, etc. I also feel like it's an injustice to everybody for the coach not to make decisions based soley on bettering the team. Again, my feelings alone.  I'm confident my son will come out on top the bigger, better man

Just an observation. Most seniors (assuming they are returning players) have at least earned the right to get the first shot at the position.  If it turns out an underclassman is better than the senior, I have no problem with him starting in place of the senior.  During his sophomore year (1st year on varsity), my son displaced the senior catcher for nearly the entire season.  There was only one game where the senior started and only because it was a "weak" team.

 

I can't speak for other areas, but it is very rare for a freshman to make the varsity squad, let alone start at our HS.  It just doesn't happen often.  The current coach just doesn't look at freshman at all - only sophomores, juniors and seniors.

 

TR makes a good point.  I will say the HC at our HS usually solicited input from the assistant coaches so an assistant can have an influence.

That's good but realize how important it is that he sees you being a good parent and setting a good example through this.  I suggest reading thru this recent post...

 

http://community.hsbaseballweb...145#4108684654983145

Another coach who does not have a clue. The position should go to whoever is best. How would he like it if someone at his job got a position over him based on age and not performance?Interesting this happens in HS but not say in college bball. KY won championship last yr with starters who were mostly Freshmen.They did not have to "wait their turn" My guess is your "New" assist may change his mind  if you guys start losing due to Sr. players who are not best for position. Keep us posted

It's not your call. Your not the coach. Do you have their experience? Are you a better evaluator of talent? Are at every practice? In the dugout? Do you know if they want the maturity and experience on the field vs the younger player? Have you invested 4 years into this Sr? Are you saying you are a better judge of who the coach should or shouldn't play and where? When was the last time a parent of someone came to your work place and made a call like that?

I coached several years in HS. I always 100 prrcent of the.time played the players I thought gave my team the best opportunity to win. Regardless of year. But that was not always the most talented player. There are so many intangibles I couldn't list them all.

It's not the coaches job to make sure the players like him. It's the players job to make the coach like him. And talent is only one part of that equation. No where listed there has anything to do with the parent.

Show me a coach at the HS or college level who makes decisions based on wether it will make a parent happy and I will show you a guy that needs to step down.

Even if you were the guru of HS baseball your opinion does not matter. It's not your call. It's not your place. I sit around parents of college players almost every weekend. As soon as one of them starts coaching from the stands its a mad rush by everyone to distance themselves from that person. To be honest with you no one wants to hear it.

You have been given good advice. Heed it or be prepared to spend your sons HS career surrounded by bitter parents who will never get it until its too late. And in many cases use it as a crutch when it eventually spews over to their kid and he develops a bad attitude as well.

If I had a dollar for every parent that thought they knew better than the coach I would be loaded. And even if you do guess what? Your still not the coach. Get over it.

Poor attitude but more talented.
Lack of work ethic.
Failure to follow team rules.
Lack of hustle, effort. But more talented.
Poor grades, lack of effort in the class room, poor attitude discipline issues in school. But more talented.
Poor Fundys makes spectacular plays boots routine plays. But is more talented.
Tremendous tools at the plate but gets carved up by more experienced pitchers. Does not produce as many QABs as the less talented player.
What your gaining in talent level is out weighed by the leadership, experience, savy, grit, mental toughness of the older player.
Older player is less talented but makes routine plays on a routine basis. Produces more QABs. Always hits the cut even though his arm is weaker. Gets a better read even though he is slower. On and on it goes. I can list all day long.

I have started freshman, cut srs, benched srs, cut jrs srs. And I have played Jrs and Srs in front of more talented players that needed time and experience to develop. And I never made a decision based on a parents evaluation.

The only people have anything to do with who is in the line up are the players and coaches. Isn't that the way it should be.

Coach May--It seems as though you're going to side with a coach no matter what and that's sad. I've decided to stay out of it and I'll support my son in every way possible. I just feel like a true coach at heart would want other coaches to do the right thing instead of operating off the good ole boy system. And no I haven't watched from the dugout but neither has he. He has absolutely no idea of my son's abilities, he knows what grade he's in and his last name.

I have some sympathy with both sides of this equation, but in the end, Coach May's view is the only productive viewpoint you can take and advocate to your son.

 

My 2015 son had a difficult freshman year last year.  He was more talented than some, maybe even most, of the Varsity players but was placed on JV, where he did very well as both a hitter, catcher, and starting pitcher.  More talent does not always equal readiness to play at the Varsity level, emotionally, physically, as a teammate, etc. By the end of the year, he was very deserving of a call-up from a talent perspective but because he spent too much time worrying and sulking about things he couldn't control, he wasn't really deserving from other perspectives.  I understood that, and frankly the fact that he put himself through that struggle has really helped him this year.

 

This year, he's playing Varsity.  First game is tomorrow, and we will see how his opportunity shakes out.  He has done well enough in early practices that it is obvious that he will be in competition for some kind of meaningful role, but he is so much more open to the idea that it is out of his control and he will work hard and go with the flow this year that it is like he's an entirely different kid.  I've told him (as FoxDad suggests above) that the older kids  (this team is all seniors except my son and two others, and returns 7 of 8 position player starters, 1 of 3 starters, and the top two relievers) will most likely get double the time to prove that they don't deserve a particular role than he will get to prove he does deserve a particular role.  They've earned that, in my view.  It isn't set in stone, and no opportunity for any kid is endlessly open, but they are often stronger, more mentally tough, and more experienced than even very talented (more talented?) younger kids.  You gotta knock out the Champ.

 

Anyway, we had a long talk just the other night in which he very calmly accepted my advice to just work as hard as he can every day and not worry ever about playing time.  It will come, or it won't.  Just be prepared in case it does, and try to make the most of it.  The HS baseball season is short in the NW (20 regular season games + a jamboree) and if all he gets out of it is essentially a Spring Training for the summer ball season, that is still really valuable.  His time will come in the next two years, when he'll be one of only a handful of experienced Varsity players, and if our experience over the lessons of the first year continue as I think they will, he'll be better prepared to be a leader then regardless of what does or doesn't happen this season.

 

It is really hard, but really important, for us as parents to let go of our expectations for our kid and disappointment over the inevitable setbacks and model the only kind of behavior that is productive for them going forward as ballplayers and people.  Worry about the things you can control - attitude, effort, hustle, etc.  The rest will come.

I think you are missing Coach May's point.  He isn't the coach, and isn't making the decisions.  Whatever his philosophies on who deserves playing time and who doesn't, or about your report of this coach's decision-making, is really irrelevant.  He's simply trying to give you the best advice to do what is productive for your son given the situation he finds himself in.

 

With the caveat I described above (and FoxDad also said, about upperclassmen deserving the first shot), I am a believer in going with the best talent.  I didn't agree with every decision my son's coaches made last year, but the important thing to remember is...it wasn't my job to make those decisions.  If I seethe at home and b*tch and moan, how does that help my son?  In fact, how does he not come away with the take-away that it is OK for him to mope about and display his own dissatisfaction outwardly?  That's just not helpful to anyone.

 

Try to stay positive, and it will help your son to do the same.

Your post just shows that you simply don't get it. I'm siding with what's right. The only way you and your son will enjoy his HS baseball experience. What do you think or hope to accomplish by coming here and telling us this? Do you just want everyone to tell you right and its just the good ole boy system? Validation?

You will get some from other posters. Let me know how that helps your son when it's all said and done.

You came asking for thoughts and I believe that CM gave his.

 

Sometimes parents come here hoping to gain support by finding others that agree with them on a certain situation, and then get angry when that doesn't happen.

 

My son never played on a team where the good old boy system didn't exist....at first. The older players had to prove they deserved the job before they lost it.  Someday your son will be in the same situation, and he may have to prove himself to keep his position over a younger, more talented player.

If your son is so talented find a good summer team for him to play on and stya out of it.

JMO.

As I'm reading this thread it leaves me to wonder if the parents of the starting upperclassmen would agree with the assessment that the underclassmen are more deserving of a starting position than their player?  

Coach May and Edgarfan's posts are spot on.  There's more to determining who starts where than the player's talent/skill level.  There's leadership, attitude, hustle, and experience among others.  Yes, the varsity coach's job is to field the "best 9", but it comes down to "his" definition of who is the "best". 

 

Remember, the HC and his assistants are with the boys/young men for 2-3 hours a day and "see" a lot more than any parent who may just see the entire team on game day or maybe the last few minutes of practice.

 

The job of parents is to support the team and be there on game days.

 

MomofA - if it's any consolation, my son is in a similar situation at a DII JUCO.  He's a freshman playing behind not one, but two sophomores.  He works hard at practice and has started some games in his position (1B) and started others as DH.   It pained us to see the primary starter come out of nowhere (DH'd last year and didn't play in the fall) and displace not only our son, but the other sophomore.  Our son can have a great week of practice and there is no guarantee he'll play.  I do know that if our son does play, it means he had a great week of practice.  It is what it is.

FROM MY EXPERITNCE THERE ARE TOO MANY PARENTS GETTING TOO DEEPLY INVOLVED IN THEIR SONS PLAYING TIME AT THE HS AND COLLEGE LEVEL truth be know the son is probably embarassed by their parents actions  they, the players can usually handle it by themselves----also  in my part of the world THE COACH IS THE BOSS