No parents at practice - no calls and don't talk to the players

quote:

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O.K. guys I am the BOSS anything I say goes and DO NOT question me about it as I AM THE BOSS. And DO NOT have any outsiders telling you anything as it may make me look bad if it works

---

H&R, that sounds just like rShard!

"God knows I gave my best in baseball at all times and no man on earth can truthfully judge me otherwise."...Joe Jackson

....

My son's coach's rules:

1. No parents inside the fence or in the dugout unless invited to come in. This is during practice and games.

2. No food during practice. (Someone had a pizza delivered last week to a kid. Coach went nuts.)

3. If you need to talk to the coach about anything, wait until the game or practice is over.

4. About playing time: The kid has to earn his playing time. If a starter is slacking during warm-ups before a game or during a game, the kid will be benched.

5. All players work on the field after practice and after the game. And all are to make sure the equipment is put in it's place. And to keep the dugout clean.

The coach has no problem talking to parents. In fact if one of my sons did not play well during a game I can ask him his thoughts on what my son needs to do to improve and he will go into detail. I would never say things like he needs to do this or he needs to do that. Because, I respect his judgement. And that is the way most of the parents feel as well.

I respect him as a coach and as mentor to the players. And he respects and appreciates the parents for all the work they do to raise money or work on the field. He always talks to the parents after games and practices.

I have a son on varsity high school team, and I am also a little league coach. First the coach must have rules in order to be successfull, but that does not mean he should belittle any player or parent. Who is really in control of the team the coach or the parents/booster club who pays his stipend. If a parent has a problem with the rules he should talk to the AD and coach together, but before he needs to talk to his son to find out how he feels about the rules. As the old saying goes MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY.

Gloveman,
What has become of the infamous Mr. rShard I wonder??

O.K. I am going back to my corner now Bye-Bye

This is OLD NEWS from an OLD TOPIC.
I tried to find it but am having difficulty. It might have been deleted because of the same stuff that is going on here...
To the best of my recollection:
The coach pitched for the Minnesota Twins and they won the world Series (they beat the Atlanta Braves), grew up in Franklin Square, LI, NY and his initials are MV.

Willie, Mickey and the Duke

Michael Vick????

"God knows I gave my best in baseball at all times and no man on earth can truthfully judge me otherwise."...Joe Jackson

You're half right. Try the last name.
It might be a stringed instrument.

Willie, Mickey and the Duke

BigHit

Good job! Bedside manner is important no matter how good a Dr you might be. Sounds like this guy has some personal issues that need fixing to be around HS kids. In the mean time maybe he needs different employment.

swingbuster

Perhaps the parent griping has the problem not the coach---obviously the coach has been successful in past years--sounds to me like an unhappy parent griping

And THE COACH IS THE COACH !!!!

TRhit

Many Coaches Find the Demands Intolerable

One part of a Four Part series on
The Coaching Crisis in High School

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard

CHILL

Great article--it sure says a lot

TRhit

tasmit,

Sounds like you have a good coach. Those are reasonable rules that enable the coach to control his team and are quite fair to the parents as well.

It is not uncommon for a coach to not allow parents at practice, however , I think it is misfortunate unless a parent has done something to bring that upon himself. It also is not uncommon for a coach to frown upon a parent yelling instruction from the stands - it can be embarassing for the kid and the coach. All this said, the coach that was originally posted sounds like he goes a step beyond reasonable and I agree that he is a jerk. There is no excuse for a coach that will not speak to the players parents. Discussing playing time is different, but just polite conversation is inexcuseable. No doubt you have to keep it on a business relationship, so as to not draw favoritism criticism - but you don't have to become a butt.

http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp

http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp

Boy weve covered this one enough times. First of all the parents should not be doing anything as far as concessions, mowing etc for any other reason but the kids. Dont do it for the coach. Dont do it because your trying to suck up. Do it because you want to help the kids out period. Just because the coach makes you mad you should not take it out on the players and the program by not helping out. Im not saying that I agree with the coachs choice of words to the player but let me add this. I always get a chuckle when I hear a parent or a player complain about a coach using profanity. They have cds in their cars with more nasty language than you can shake a stick at that the parents have condoned. They go to movies and every other work is profane, does that bother them? They use profanity the parents use profanity but the coach is not a good coach because he said get your a-- in gear son. Whenever I hear this complaint I know that that is not the real concern. They are just using that as a means of attack for some ulterior motive. If your son is so upset by a coach using profanity then he better stop playing after high school because its over for him. Some of you just have a big problem when you are no longer in control thats the real issue here. Again I am not condoneing the language. I myself will let out a A-- or H--- every once in a while but thats the extent of it. I never jump kids during a game or in front of fans. There is a time and place for everything. You want to be treated like a man then act like a man. Some of you are in trouble if your sons do in fact move on to College to play. You are in for a rude awakening and so are your kids. Like TR said I know your coming after me over this but thats just the way it is.

Coach May, I agree with what you said about profanity but he didn't just use the words, he used them to bellitle a player.

I learned along time ago that a good boss praises in public, and berates in private. He could just as well have taken the kid aside!

TR, I agree with this not being LL anymore but it's not Pro ball either. HS parents need time to adjust too. After so many years coaching/ instructing your son it's tough to just stop. I've had to bite my lip several....umm....many times myself. My son and I have code words, not for instruction, but for something I see. For instance: If I see his glove side getting weak I say "Go get it boy!" It don't matter, he tuned me out several years ago, but it makes me feel better!

"You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church." Bill -Spaceman- Lee

Reading all of these makes me really appreciate my son's high school coach. He runs a well disciplined team, his players respect him and because of that they give him their best. He is also very friendly and respectful to the parents. Sure there are people who complain but you always have that. It is usually people whos childern are not getting the play time they believe they should.

I think that most of the problem is the belittling and the profanity was directed personally at the player. I also don't think that there are too many parents out there that call their kids f -- ing p-----s either. I really don't think that the kids are offended by profanity - in fact - I think that many of them think that it's cool that a coach cusses in front of them. I haven't heard any complaints about the use of profanity - it was the way it was directed at the player.

I guess that this is just the way he wants to run the program - the parents can either move on or deal with it.

Players will play for coaches that they respect - not because they are in fear of the coach and can't get up enough courage to tell him he can't throw because of a sore arm. There are players out there that are playing with sore arms, shoulders and keep throwing because they are afraid that they'll lose their job.

Knowing many of these parents they truly are in it because of their kids. They are putting up with much of this because of their kids and are following the rules that are set by the coach. To my knowldge no one has discussed this with the coach, assistants, the AD or anyone for fear that their kid will get kicked off the team or will have playing time drastically reduced.

Coach, I agree that many (parents included) will be in for a rude awakening if they make it to college ball - then again they might actually be treated better in college. It's all a matter of coaching style - Larry Bowa vs Joe Torre, or Bobby Knight vs. Rick Majerus - you get the picture.

It's kind of ironic that about a year ago, I started a topic concerning my dilemma about my son staying at the school he is at now, or going to "this" school to play for "this" coach. Most felt that he should stay for a variety of reasons - man I'm glad I listened to you all.

taken from the article....I read from above...

"Jim Thompson of the Stanford University - based Positive Coaching Alliance says parents should worry more about making sure coaches are teaching their kids the right life lessons"

I agree...but I have a huge role to play in this as well..high school sports is about the team...not individuals...per se...

So the best lesson that I can give my son is react to a situation the way that I hope and pray he does someday as an adult...in other words...our son decided last May to not play football his senior year so he could focus on baseball..., and more than once he was singled out for his choice - his decision, one we supported after many family meetings.

Was it right that my son was asked to attend a meeting after school attended by "all football" coaches and asked to sit down at a round table to discuss why he was not going to play football his senior year? No.

And then...son was questioned about his leadership, so he stood up responding with, "I can be a good leader on or off the football field."

And then for several months into his senior year, he had to listen to being mocked - called a whimp, called names, off season was intense (he was determined to make it) ...but one certain coach always met him in the weight room...offering cutting remarks....was this right? No.

Now I said some of this (which is not even the bad stuff)....to say...

Our son said, "Mom. Dad. I'm alright. Let me handle it."

So hubby and I encouraged son - as he does play basketball and baseball. We've kept our attitude in check to help our son become "someone with character" even while enduring trials...we've worked concession because we always have...we support the programs because we always will...

As a mother...I believe that my son's demeaner and his reaction to adversity is a direct result of what "life lessons" - his father and I want him take with him when he does graduate this May.

______________________
And I might add....although a coaches vocabulary might include those 4 letter words....not all boys hear that type of language at home.

My husband leads by example...and in this world of acceptance and tolerance -I suspect that to be a mighty good thing....

And my son doesn't cringe when he does hear them...but hopefully he will choose the way of his father...

TRhit,

I agree (almost) completely with you! The little league mentality has to stop at High School. As to those parents raking the field, cooking, etc. more often than not, it is a thinly vailed attempt to get in good with the coach! There are a TON of parents who think if they are REALLY active around the filed, the coach will think they are great people and play their son--WAKE UP. Sadly, there are coaches who respond to that---then there are those that take control. This guy sounds like he is in control of his team. I agree, a "Hello" wouldn't kill him. But I've often seen parents who try to turn that 'hello' into a conversation about their sons playing time.

I know of a local coach who proclaimed that for the next year fundraising would have a very large impact upon playing time decisions. One dad raised $16,000 in donations from local business people. His son then sat the bench for the season. True story. They are somewhat bitter.

The coach was wrong for promising then not following through. The dad and his kid were wrong for believing.

Texas 2004 says that high school sports is about the team. I agree, but the win at all cost philosophy that coaches cloak in "The Team" troubles me, especially when it is inconsistent. If you want to win at all costs, then pull out all the stops and lets go.

Don't do something like cut your only decent catcher because you think he is a bad person and then ask your starting pitchers to throw 120-140 pitches because your new less skilled catcher is playing out of position and you don't trust or can't coach, your bullpen.

As a parent, you have to draw the line somewhere.

Dad04...in saying "team" I meant it in the best of ways...I'm not one who buys into the win at all costs and being unfair..now, that's not team oriented at all...obviously...

Tx2004
Thank you. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills right now dealing with the pitch limit issue for our signed senior.

Reading the article of the coaching crisis was interesting. As a coach of many years(not anymore) I can see a definite change in the whole climate of high school baseball. What some coaches are experiencing now in relationship to players and yes their parents was not the case years ago. the last few years of my tenure saw me spending time returning calls(at the request of my AD) to parents complaining about me our program. Never had to do that before. You just coached. Sometimes they did not call the AD. Went right to the principal demanding a meeting. Was once called in and had to defend myself from a few detractors who wrote an "anonymous letter" ripping me my assistants and basically wanting our heads. AT that time I sort of saw the handwriting on the wall. Why should I or any other coach have to defend ourselves from anonymous detractors. If they are so vehement talk to us face to face . Why would the administration consider a source that does not identify themselves? Sort of tells you something about the state of affairs. And talking to other coaches at other schools they had experienced similar situations. When and how did this come about. Another discussion another time.

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.

My son and his fellow freshman classmates are getting this "Life Lesson 101" from their new JV coach. The coach is young, very unfriendly, barks continuously and curses. Today, he told them not to STP (sh%t their pants).

But what a valuable life lesson this is...

Life is NOT always fair...people can be major Aholes...you need to eat crow and swallow your pride, etc., etc.

So although the coach you describe is truly a negative force, the lesson he's instilling is priceless; getting your son ready for the real world.

Dad04...Our son just finished his last basketball game (late last night..losing in playoffs)...so he and some other 5 starters have not even played in a baseball scrimmage...yet..

At the gym, I talked to our head baseball coach last night who spoke of a game they had last week...the team they played stomped our guys as those 5 were missing as well as 2 other starters who were in power lifting and gone...so most of our starters were tied up...

Coach said - the coach of the other team threw his ace pitcher knowing we were a little downsized to say the least...that coach told our coach, "Sorry, my pitcher needed a win."

We lost 18-1...

Mine too is a signed 04...and we've had a history of overuse and troublesome pitch counts...at times...

wish you the best...

I can rationalize anything too. I've heard..

"But he said he felt fine" well, of course he felt fine at 103 pitches coach. Is he running the team or are you?

But when the kid comes out after 5 innings and feels fine, because he should, the coach says..."Is he running the team or am I?"

The coach wants it both ways. Too Bad, So Sad.

what about the parents who take it out on the coach's wife because "little johnny" doesn't get to play!

quote:

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Originally posted by peanut:
what about the parents who take it out on the coach's wife because "little johnny" doesn't get to play!

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They are idiots & one of the other Parents should intervene & tell them to shut up.

Dad04,
You have a private message.

In one sentence, Coach May addresses the
most significant issue, IMO......

Some of you just have a big problem when you are no longer in control...that's the real issue here

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard

I have watched this post for awhile, being a head coach in a large school outside of Houston. I have 4 teams, 2 baseball classes, alot of kids to coach, and love every minute of it, even the parents, sometimes!! Coaches demeanor's change when you have parents like TR Hit, because you know that they leave all of the responsibility of their successes or failures to their kid. They quit trying to solve all of their kids problems, and let them grow up and find their way, whether it is athletically or just school. I appreciate your responses Tr, and teams that are good, usually have a bunch of parents like that. It is the teams that don't play well usually have a bunch of excuse making parents, because they have tried to protect their kids from failure for years, and this is the only way to deal with it is blaming someone else. "It sure can't be little bobby's fault, he has been an all-star since he was 5"!!!

Chilly,

Let me repeat that.

quote:

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Some of you just have a big problem when you are no longer in control...that's the real issue here

---

Been guilty of that myself....may still be............

well moms and dads time to cut the strings and let the children grow into adults, if the kids are playing and not having a problem with the coach then i say let it lie.Let them do what they are supposed to do practice and follow the coaches decisions sorry bhut it's time

quote:

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well moms and dads time to cut the strings and let the children grow into adults, if the kids are playing and not having a problem with the coach then i say let it lie.Let them do what they are supposed to do practice and follow the coaches decisions sorry bhut it's time

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I have stayed out of this thread for a couple of pages. My pet peeve however is when people infer that someone is a smothering or not very good parent because they do not believe as you do. That is not an arguement, it is condescension(sp?).
the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

An update on the situation - Word is that he may be looking elsewhere because of differences with the AD in the way baseball funds are being handled. AD now has all funds going through him and coach has less control. OK, let's see how we can blame this on the parents or the AD because this certainly can't be a problem with the coach.

There are good parents that have cut the strings and simply go to games and watch - They still deserve a little respect. There are bad parents who run their mouths and most other parents despise. Why are they always lumped into one?

Not all coaches are gods who we should kiss the ground on which they walk - they are like parents, there are good ones and bad ones. They too shouldn't all be lumped together.

Some of these are understandable - No parents at practice, no talking to players an hour before the game and during the game and coaches not speaking to parents - fine. Some are not. Those dealing with belittling players, calling them names and players being afraid to speak up about an injury because they are in fear of losing their job is not fine.

In this ever more complicated world, I tend to simplify things and use basic common sense, which most of our parents do as well as the coaches.

If, as a parent, you can't keep your mouth and emotions under control, you don't belong at practice or games. Conveniently, over the past 2 years, players have been systematically weeded out for either their or their parents boorish behavior.

The coaches have a parents meeting before the season asking us to follow basic good behavior, let your boys prepare and play. HOWEVER, if a player motions to his parent "Am I doing this right?" the parent can answer quitely without fear. Its just about common sense.

As for cursing, the coaches have a rule ANYONE saying even D**N or H**L will only result in the WHOLE TEAM running a triple for each offense at practice or games. This includes coaches.

In short, our parents can go to practice, parents have team dinners, parents coach the fall team, if approached parents can say a little bit to the players during games, as long as the parents behave. If not, eventually they and their sons will be weeded out, no matter how talented. Its a very mature enviornment and this teaches the boys as much as anything else.

Sounds like common sense to me.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

The Coach who refers to "his" team.
As in a publicly funded highschool?
As in a district that mandates which schools you can attend?
The purpose of these schools is to provide an ego vehicle for the coach?
Interesting. Try that on for size in some other field of endeavour.

This sounds like a coach that I know. He expects the parents to raise money, work on the fields, etc... but he has a few rules.
1. The parents may talk to the coach about fishing, hunting, MLB, Final 4, etc... but their sons baseball position and playing time are off limits. Only the player may speak to the coach regarding those 2 things.
2. The players must workout at 6:30am every morning (even game day) in the weight room during the season and at 8:00am during the Summer season. The players have a scheduled weight room time of 3:30pm during the school year if they are not playing other sports but it is 6:30am if they participate in other sports.
3. Players are expected to throw and hit 2 day's per week in the off season.

cbg,

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see any problem with those rules. Sounds like the coach has the players interests in mind. Parnets work on fields and raise money because it benefits their kids to have better conditions.

1.Most coaches will not speak to parents about playing time. It sounds like he openly answers questions for the players and that is who should know. If your kid wants you to know, he will tell you. It sounds like he is teaching them to be adults and handle their own problems.
2. A regular workout schedule (year-round) is not uncommon of a top-notch program. If a kid is serious about baseball, they should be doing this anyway and some kids need to do it in a group to stay motivated.
3. Throwing year-round and hitting keeps muscle tone and muscle memory. Again, any kid that is serious should be doing it anyway.

HS ball is not rec ball. There is work involved, not just fun. I realize not all HS players are serious ball players, but the coach has to coach to that level or he is doing the ones that are a disservice.

http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp

http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp