No parents at practice - no calls and don't talk to the players

Sounds like a JERK to put it niceley

I may be OLD SCHOOL

BUT

If those are the coaches rules -- you abide by them--money and time spent raking a field means squat in terms of your kids playing time.

FOLKS- Once you get to high school, and this might offend many but here goes, the Little League mentality has to cease---it has even gotten to the college level where parents call AD's to tell them "my Johnny Boy is not getting the right amount of playing time"

If those are the coaches rules so be it !!!!!

If you want to continue to be in control then you coach HS and then coach his college team when that time comes.

I think HS is the right time and place for a young boy to begin the transformation into a young man.

I have my armor plate on so come on at me !!!!

TRhit

Don't think I can say what I want without the censor editing the post so bad that al you'd see are *******

Be only to glad to tell this piece of ......work, what I think about his ****!

"You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church." Bill -Spaceman- Lee

Coaches rules are coaches rules, but coach has no business talking to any player like that. If coaches want to be respected, they in turn have to give respect. You can be stern and still get respect, or you can be a jerk and get none. Kids are not stupid and most will not give the coach their best when made to feel like they have been embarrassed. I find that most coaches that tend to go overboard are usually self centered, power hungry individuals. They have little control over some issues in their lives, so they need complete control on the field. I am one that believes that coach should get respect just because he is the coach. But if he is rude, nasty, a bully or in any way jeopardizes the health or safety of my son, I will be the first one into the AD's office.

I would consider a transfer, if your sons health was in jeopordized in some way. If not, then it is what it is.

Why is a Dad in the stands telling a HS player what to do while dad is in the stands and the player is on the field?

How as a Dad close enough to hear what the coach was saying to the player in the dugout?

Coach offers to speak if you call-- PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL HIM !!!!

TRhit

Could you elaborate on how successful his program is and how long he has been coaching at this school?

Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball, the rules and realities of the game—and do it by watching first some high-school or small-town teams.
Jacques Barzun
NY Times 31 May 81

TR,



I don't completely disagree with you...but this guy seems to have gone a bit overboard. Our coach at least says "Hi. How are you." I agree that High School is different than Little League, but does it necessarily have to be a complete culture shock?

I do agree that if the rules are established, then you abide by them. If you don't like them...move on. Once you start something knowing what the rules are accept that when those rules are enforced.

I won't even speak to raking the field type issues...they have nothing to do with anything.

twoseamer

I ,for one, am tired of the excuses for parents at the HS level-- culture shock be ****ed !!!!

Part of growing up is learning how to cope with the world around you-- playing on a team, be it baseball or any other, teaches you how to cope---- not everyone can be # 1 even if you think you,or your parents think you are-- the Boss(Coach) makes that decision--

C'mon folks stop coddling the kids--- anda what was posted is truly hearsay so do we really know what the coach said--by the time it is passed from lips to lips tenfold over it is usually very far from the truth anyway.

Let your kid go play the game--work his tail off and make the coach happy-- you as a parent can sit back and root for the team and your son.

TRhit

I can see the Baseball signup announcement now.

Looking for tall strong blue eyed aryans willing to disassociate from their families and live under a pre-described totalitarian set of rules. All interested meet on my baseball field.


TR, I agree with the coddling part 100%, but isn't there a limit on the other end also. How can a coach get away with this mentality. I cannot inmagine these rules have not set off fireworks in the past.

quote:

---

Originally posted by TRhit:
twoseamer

I ,for one, am tired of the excuses for parents at the HS level-- culture shock be ****ed !!!!

Part of growing up is learning how to cope with the world around you-- playing on a team, be it baseball or any other, teaches you how to cope---- not everyone can be # 1 even if you think you,or your parents think you are-- the Boss(Coach) makes that decision--

C'mon folks stop coddling the kids--- anda what was posted is truly hearsay so do we really know what the coach said--by the time it is passed from lips to lips tenfold over it is usually very far from the truth anyway.

Let your kid go play the game--work his tail off and make the coach happy-- you as a parent can sit back and root for the team and your son.

TRhit

---

Interesting response...I will say that that's one way of trying to accomplish the goal. The "old whip and chair" style works well every once and a while.

Just curious -

Are these rules relatively new?

I have seen it happen before - when a lot of very strict rules put into place after things got totally out of hand and it needed to be put to an immediate halt.

Hard to second guess without all the facts.

quote:

---

Originally posted by AParent:
Just curious -

Are these rules relatively new?

I have seen it happen before - when a lot of very strict rules put into place after things got totally out of hand and it needed to be put to an immediate halt.

Hard to second guess without all the facts.

---

AParent,

You make a good point. There could be more to this than meets the eye.

Does somebody have an axe to grind ???

TRhit

Not me. Just making an observation. There are many different effective coaching styles out there. This guy has his. If all the players and parents know what his style is and choose to play there, then those are the rules. But, IMHO it's not the only effective coaching style out there.

Aside from the name calling which is unacceptable at any level I guess if you are aware of the rules and accepted them in advance then you have to live by them.

My question is,"does a parent have the right to discuss playing time with a coach at any time during the season?".

Without going into great detail - I'm sure those in our area will know who and what school I've been referring to.

Coach is highly successful high school coach. Offered an assistant job at a University in hopes of someday getting the head coach job. Things change, the university coach decides to stay longer than anticipated, a couple years go by and decides to return to H.S. coaching. Gets head job at a new school - no seniors. Varsity is made up of some talented sophs and some fresh. Junior talent is just OK.

To my knowledge the parents don't say "boo" because they are afraid that it'll effect playing time. These are all first year players to this program and haven't had the axe long enough to grind.

Also, the raking, building cages, etc. and so forth, have nothing to do with playing time. These are pretty good parents that are doing all of this for their kids.

This was simply told to me, by a couple parents of players. So, it went from parent to me and the same story was told to me by a couple other parents. Yes, it's hearsay, but isn't most of this?

Also, the coach said to call him and make an appointment to discuss anything, but strategy, playing time and player personnel. Now, I agree with the strategy thing and discussing other players, but that doesn't leave alot to talk to a coach about.

I also agree that life is full of adversity and you learn to deal with it - that's a part of growing up. No one is complaining about playing time and this really has nothing to do with playing time. The people that said something are the parents of starters.

I

quote:

---

Originally posted by jmepop:
Aside from the name calling which is unacceptable at any level I guess if you are aware of the rules and accepted them in advance then you have to live by them.

My question is,"does a parent have the right to discuss playing time with a coach at any time during the season?".

---

Our take on that has always been, if our SON has questions about playing time it's up to him to discuss it with his coach. We don't do it as parents. I wouldn't think of it as having a "right" to do, but whether or not is was right to do it.

Ok, so the guy is a jerk! That is not unuusual and he is entitlesd to run his team the way he wants. I would also tell anybody that is that anti-social to cook his own hotdogs, mow his own field, raise his own money, buy the supplies for the concesion stand, etc. If he cannot say hello, then he is an a-hole. Simple as that. Let him do it all himself. Not only do I get tired of parents who feel that they can argue for playing time, but I am also tired of the excusing of any behaviour by a coach simply because he is the coach. If you cannot be civil, it will come back to haunt you and get you fired. An interferring parent is just as bad a people who make excuses for coaches no matter how poorly they act. JMO

Just to add one more part to this story. I saw the team play and a kid was throwing and his dad said that he would not throw bb because the arm is sore and when asked why his son was pitching that day stated to me that nobody would dare approach the coach. He stuck a kid with a sore arm on the mound after the kid had pitched the previous day. That should tell you all you need to know about this coach.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

TR,
Do I sense that you are taking this personally?
I think that almost everyone agrees that rules are rules, coach is the boss, parents that donate time to booster has nothing to do with it, parents should not coach from the stands, etc.
You do not seem like the type that would call any age player a f****** p****, that seems to be the concern here, for me anyway.

Twoseamer,

I agree, that's between the coach and player, let them work it out. If you want to talk about that, wait till the end of the season.

Jmepop - you have a PM

quote:

---

Originally posted by Bighit15:
Ok, so the guy is a jerk! That is not unuusual and he is entitlesd to run his team the way he wants. I would also tell anybody that is that anti-social to cook his own hotdogs, mow his own field, raise his own money, buy the supplies for the concesion stand, etc. If he cannot say hello, then he is an a-hole. Simple as that. Let him do it all himself. Not only do I get tired of parents who feel that they can argue for playing time, but I am also tired of the excusing of any behaviour by a coach simply because he is the coach. If you cannot be civil, it will come back to haunt you and get you fired. An interferring parent is just as bad a people who make excuses for coaches no matter how poorly they act. JMO

Just to add one more part to this story. I saw the team play and a kid was throwing and his dad said that he would not throw bb because the arm is sore and when asked why his son was pitching that day stated to me that nobody would dare approach the coach. He stuck a kid with a sore arm on the mound after the kid had pitched the previous day. That should tell you all you need to know about this coach.

http://www.eteamz.com/floridabombers/
"I love the HSBBW"

---

Well said! Coaches are like policemen - "all powerful". When the people who are chosen to protect and serve become abusive the system has become corrupt and likewise happens with coaches. What's that saying about "absolute power, corrupting absolutely". I think everyone who coaches, umpires or serves in position of power, "feel" that power and ofen times they cross the line. Does anyone know a parent that doesn't bow down to the high school or college coach? I doubt anyone says anything negative.

Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball, the rules and realities of the game—and do it by watching first some high-school or small-town teams.
Jacques Barzun
NY Times 31 May 81

I read the "rules" of the coach and was like.

"man that's rough".

But then I read them the second time and realized, there not all that bad. That's exactly how my AllStar practices were when I was 9-12 years old. Minus the Cursing.

We couldn't talk to anyone except players, coaches. They actually put up black tarps so we wouldn't talk to anybody.

Practices would be at a certain time, but will not end at an exact time.

High School is the same way, except more cursing.

As players, we think it's just funny. We're not little 9-11 year olds where if you yell and scream it will make them all depressed and cry or something.

Atleast the players on my team just don't really care what the coaches say. It's just funny to see his reaction. We joke around about it. No big deal.

I hear the F-bomb and S-word in school 50 times a day just talking with people or hearing it.

First time I was cursed at by a coach, it startled me, I never thought they'd do that. But then I realized, I'm not in LL anymore. Which was fine with me.

Matt

I'm just curious. Does this guy have a winning program. It might be posted here somewhere but I didn't read evey post.

I'm still reading, it ain't time yet!!!

ALWAYS question authority. I'm over it.

Read the original post! Nowhere does CanesFan5 say anything about "playing time". The basic premise of his statement is that
the coach has little or no common courtesy. How is it that it evolves into PLAYING TIME? On another thread in the Florida forum a poster asked for opinions on the TOP 10 Players IN CENTRAL FLORIDA which immediately went to BEST PLAYER IN EACH CLASS. How is it that grown people can read something in black and white and totally ignore the original post?

As far as the original post is concerned, successful or not, the coach needs a lesson in manners if indeed what CanesFan5 states is true and I personally don't have a reason to doubt it.
I've seen the same thing happen in the Orlando area.

Moc1

quote:

---

Coaches are like policemen - "all powerful". When the people who are chosen to protect and serve become abusive the system has become corrupt and likewise happens with coaches.

---

Recently heard an AD say, "Do you want to go back the way it was before I got here? You people...all you care about are your kids? If I have to buy those ***** baseball pants out of my own pocket, I'll get them."


I guess we just need to get this AD a "police man's badge".....

Dad04 -you have a PM

Moc1

quote:

---

Originally posted by Texas2004:

quote:

---

Coaches are like policemen - "all powerful". When the people who are chosen to protect and serve become abusive the system has become corrupt and likewise happens with coaches.

---

Recently heard an AD say, "Do you want to go back the way it was before I got here? You people...all you care about are your kids? If I have to buy those ***** baseball pants out of my own pocket, I'll get them."


I guess we just need to get this AD a "police man's badge".....

---

I've gotta get my binoculars, go to my spot on the high hill that overlooks the practice field and quietly keep an eye on the police chief!


Whoever wants to know the heart and mind of America had better learn baseball, the rules and realities of the game—and do it by watching first some high-school or small-town teams.
Jacques Barzun
NY Times 31 May 81

quote:

---

Originally posted by ChicksDigTheLongBall:

I've gotta get my binoculars, go to my spot on the high hill that overlooks the practice field and quietly keep an eye on the police chief!

---

Chicks,

You wouldn't be lugging a big ole cooler up to the top of that high hill now would ya? If so, remember that rolling down those hills isn't near as much fun as it used to be when you were a kid!

Actually, I think that the coach sends patrols up to do recon in those hills and trees during practice.

quote:

---

Originally posted by CanesFan5:
Actually, I think that the coach sends patrols up to do recon in those hills and trees during practice.

---

Canes,

Well..don't tell Chicks but they have a surviellance camera with audio hidden in the willow tree. Shhh...just between us.

BIG

The player knows how to speak up doesn't he !!!!!

TRhit

This coach has gone a bit overboard but parents do what parents do. Watch the game. let the kids play and basically stay out of the way. Trhit makes a good point. The little league mentality of parents talking to their kids during the game amd coming near the bench is over. I told my players talk to Mom and Dad after the game. There is a time when coaches coach and parents parent. It always amazed me especially at the high school level. You go to a football game and the parents are up in the stands they are not on the bench or the sidelines. Go to some baseball games and it is a differnt story.

hmmm...rules are rules. abide by them or find another sport. maybe golf.

TR, if the coach knows it and puts the kid out there anyway then he is an idiot. If you cannot see that then well.....

I am sure with that climate of fear kids are going to stand right up and pull themselves out of a game and not play the rest of the season. Come on! Kids want to play.

A coach that puts a kid in when he knows the arm is sore is a jerk. How can you make an excuse for that. Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You may be old school , but to defend a guy who does that is wearing blinders!!!!!

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

Again, I say that any coach that makes himself unaprochable like that lacks confidence in what he is doing!! It looks as if he is trying to avoid defending his coaching by telling everyone that talking to him is against the rules. And I can see his logic, I mean if I went around talking to kids like that and seding a kid out to pitch with a sore arm, I wouldn't want to try to defend that either.
I wonder what would happen at my job if I tried the same approach as this coach.
O.K. guys I am the BOSS anything I say goes and DO NOT question me about it as I AM THE BOSS. And DO NOT have any outsiders telling you anything as it may make me look bad if it works O.K. Now go out there guys and make me look good!!!!
What a load of horse stuff

Lets just go thru the items one by one.

1. No parents at practice. He tells them what time the players need to be there and that's all. Also, they are not told when the practice will approximately end. When it's over, it's over.

No parents at practice perfectly within the coach’s right.

If we are talking about a 30 minute over run from a standard stop time no big deal anything more and the coach needs to schedule a longer practice and let everyone know in advance.

2. No parents of J.V. players are allowed at varsity practice.
In item 1 stated no parents at practice so why would JV parents be allowed at a varsity practice.

3. Player cannot speak to anyone other than coaches and teammates beginning one hour before game time.

Since they probably start pregame prep (i.e. batting cages, warm-ups, infield etc.) this is probably a pretty good rule.

4. Father and former coach of a player who was on deck, said to his son, "Keep your hands up." The player was blasted and told by the coach to tell his father to keep his mouth shut.

No problem here if the player and father knew the rule, which is a good one by the way.

5. A pitcher who had come in relief, was third batter that inning. Asked the coach if he could have someone hit for him. Coach called him a f - ing p-----y and told him if anyone pulled that again they could find another team to play for.

I would probably make the same point to the kid but would not use the same words. Coaches are supposed to lead by example and I don’t think the coach wants his players going around using those words.

6. Booster/advertising fee of $500.00 is required (which I agree is not uncommon).

Baseball is expensive; I don't know what the coach could do about this. Fundraising is usually up to the booster club.

7. He will not speak to parents before games, or practices, after games or practices. He will not discuss strategy and your son and player personnel. "If it has something to do with anything else, call the office and make an appointment." (The no speaking rule includes saying "hello" to any parent).

A coach cannot talk to parents about this stuff before during or right after practice. But he should be willing to talk to parents about this if they schedule an appointment. Not saying hello is silly and probably stupid on the coach’s part.

I notice that many say A coaches decision's should not be qustioned, those are the rules so shut up and play.
Now I stay out of the coaches way and let him coach that is what he is there to do and I have not met a coach yet who was not trying to win.
Now with all that said, If a coach thinks he should not be qustioned he had better NEVER move to the college level. lol they will have to sit in front of radio broadcasters and answer point blank qustions, talk on the phone to print reporters and answer qustions like , Coach you have a reputation for abusing pitchers arms what do you have to say about that?. Or, coach we have heard reports that your team moral is terrible why is that?.
HS coaches have more leeway as far as, its my way or the highway than other coaches. On the othere hand In HS if enough parents seek out the AD it wont matter how many games the team is winning.

quote:

---

O.K. guys I am the BOSS anything I say goes and DO NOT question me about it as I AM THE BOSS. And DO NOT have any outsiders telling you anything as it may make me look bad if it works

---

H&R, that sounds just like rShard!

"God knows I gave my best in baseball at all times and no man on earth can truthfully judge me otherwise."...Joe Jackson

....

My son's coach's rules:

1. No parents inside the fence or in the dugout unless invited to come in. This is during practice and games.

2. No food during practice. (Someone had a pizza delivered last week to a kid. Coach went nuts.)

3. If you need to talk to the coach about anything, wait until the game or practice is over.

4. About playing time: The kid has to earn his playing time. If a starter is slacking during warm-ups before a game or during a game, the kid will be benched.

5. All players work on the field after practice and after the game. And all are to make sure the equipment is put in it's place. And to keep the dugout clean.

The coach has no problem talking to parents. In fact if one of my sons did not play well during a game I can ask him his thoughts on what my son needs to do to improve and he will go into detail. I would never say things like he needs to do this or he needs to do that. Because, I respect his judgement. And that is the way most of the parents feel as well.

I respect him as a coach and as mentor to the players. And he respects and appreciates the parents for all the work they do to raise money or work on the field. He always talks to the parents after games and practices.

I have a son on varsity high school team, and I am also a little league coach. First the coach must have rules in order to be successfull, but that does not mean he should belittle any player or parent. Who is really in control of the team the coach or the parents/booster club who pays his stipend. If a parent has a problem with the rules he should talk to the AD and coach together, but before he needs to talk to his son to find out how he feels about the rules. As the old saying goes MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY.

Gloveman,
What has become of the infamous Mr. rShard I wonder??

O.K. I am going back to my corner now Bye-Bye

This is OLD NEWS from an OLD TOPIC.
I tried to find it but am having difficulty. It might have been deleted because of the same stuff that is going on here...
To the best of my recollection:
The coach pitched for the Minnesota Twins and they won the world Series (they beat the Atlanta Braves), grew up in Franklin Square, LI, NY and his initials are MV.

Willie, Mickey and the Duke

Michael Vick????

"God knows I gave my best in baseball at all times and no man on earth can truthfully judge me otherwise."...Joe Jackson

You're half right. Try the last name.
It might be a stringed instrument.

Willie, Mickey and the Duke

BigHit

Good job! Bedside manner is important no matter how good a Dr you might be. Sounds like this guy has some personal issues that need fixing to be around HS kids. In the mean time maybe he needs different employment.

swingbuster

Perhaps the parent griping has the problem not the coach---obviously the coach has been successful in past years--sounds to me like an unhappy parent griping

And THE COACH IS THE COACH !!!!

TRhit

Many Coaches Find the Demands Intolerable

One part of a Four Part series on
The Coaching Crisis in High School

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard

CHILL

Great article--it sure says a lot

TRhit

tasmit,

Sounds like you have a good coach. Those are reasonable rules that enable the coach to control his team and are quite fair to the parents as well.

It is not uncommon for a coach to not allow parents at practice, however , I think it is misfortunate unless a parent has done something to bring that upon himself. It also is not uncommon for a coach to frown upon a parent yelling instruction from the stands - it can be embarassing for the kid and the coach. All this said, the coach that was originally posted sounds like he goes a step beyond reasonable and I agree that he is a jerk. There is no excuse for a coach that will not speak to the players parents. Discussing playing time is different, but just polite conversation is inexcuseable. No doubt you have to keep it on a business relationship, so as to not draw favoritism criticism - but you don't have to become a butt.

http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp

http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp

Boy weve covered this one enough times. First of all the parents should not be doing anything as far as concessions, mowing etc for any other reason but the kids. Dont do it for the coach. Dont do it because your trying to suck up. Do it because you want to help the kids out period. Just because the coach makes you mad you should not take it out on the players and the program by not helping out. Im not saying that I agree with the coachs choice of words to the player but let me add this. I always get a chuckle when I hear a parent or a player complain about a coach using profanity. They have cds in their cars with more nasty language than you can shake a stick at that the parents have condoned. They go to movies and every other work is profane, does that bother them? They use profanity the parents use profanity but the coach is not a good coach because he said get your a-- in gear son. Whenever I hear this complaint I know that that is not the real concern. They are just using that as a means of attack for some ulterior motive. If your son is so upset by a coach using profanity then he better stop playing after high school because its over for him. Some of you just have a big problem when you are no longer in control thats the real issue here. Again I am not condoneing the language. I myself will let out a A-- or H--- every once in a while but thats the extent of it. I never jump kids during a game or in front of fans. There is a time and place for everything. You want to be treated like a man then act like a man. Some of you are in trouble if your sons do in fact move on to College to play. You are in for a rude awakening and so are your kids. Like TR said I know your coming after me over this but thats just the way it is.

Coach May, I agree with what you said about profanity but he didn't just use the words, he used them to bellitle a player.

I learned along time ago that a good boss praises in public, and berates in private. He could just as well have taken the kid aside!

TR, I agree with this not being LL anymore but it's not Pro ball either. HS parents need time to adjust too. After so many years coaching/ instructing your son it's tough to just stop. I've had to bite my lip several....umm....many times myself. My son and I have code words, not for instruction, but for something I see. For instance: If I see his glove side getting weak I say "Go get it boy!" It don't matter, he tuned me out several years ago, but it makes me feel better!

"You should enter a ballpark the way you enter a church." Bill -Spaceman- Lee

Reading all of these makes me really appreciate my son's high school coach. He runs a well disciplined team, his players respect him and because of that they give him their best. He is also very friendly and respectful to the parents. Sure there are people who complain but you always have that. It is usually people whos childern are not getting the play time they believe they should.

I think that most of the problem is the belittling and the profanity was directed personally at the player. I also don't think that there are too many parents out there that call their kids f -- ing p-----s either. I really don't think that the kids are offended by profanity - in fact - I think that many of them think that it's cool that a coach cusses in front of them. I haven't heard any complaints about the use of profanity - it was the way it was directed at the player.

I guess that this is just the way he wants to run the program - the parents can either move on or deal with it.

Players will play for coaches that they respect - not because they are in fear of the coach and can't get up enough courage to tell him he can't throw because of a sore arm. There are players out there that are playing with sore arms, shoulders and keep throwing because they are afraid that they'll lose their job.

Knowing many of these parents they truly are in it because of their kids. They are putting up with much of this because of their kids and are following the rules that are set by the coach. To my knowldge no one has discussed this with the coach, assistants, the AD or anyone for fear that their kid will get kicked off the team or will have playing time drastically reduced.

Coach, I agree that many (parents included) will be in for a rude awakening if they make it to college ball - then again they might actually be treated better in college. It's all a matter of coaching style - Larry Bowa vs Joe Torre, or Bobby Knight vs. Rick Majerus - you get the picture.

It's kind of ironic that about a year ago, I started a topic concerning my dilemma about my son staying at the school he is at now, or going to "this" school to play for "this" coach. Most felt that he should stay for a variety of reasons - man I'm glad I listened to you all.

taken from the article....I read from above...

"Jim Thompson of the Stanford University - based Positive Coaching Alliance says parents should worry more about making sure coaches are teaching their kids the right life lessons"

I agree...but I have a huge role to play in this as well..high school sports is about the team...not individuals...per se...

So the best lesson that I can give my son is react to a situation the way that I hope and pray he does someday as an adult...in other words...our son decided last May to not play football his senior year so he could focus on baseball..., and more than once he was singled out for his choice - his decision, one we supported after many family meetings.

Was it right that my son was asked to attend a meeting after school attended by "all football" coaches and asked to sit down at a round table to discuss why he was not going to play football his senior year? No.

And then...son was questioned about his leadership, so he stood up responding with, "I can be a good leader on or off the football field."

And then for several months into his senior year, he had to listen to being mocked - called a whimp, called names, off season was intense (he was determined to make it) ...but one certain coach always met him in the weight room...offering cutting remarks....was this right? No.

Now I said some of this (which is not even the bad stuff)....to say...

Our son said, "Mom. Dad. I'm alright. Let me handle it."

So hubby and I encouraged son - as he does play basketball and baseball. We've kept our attitude in check to help our son become "someone with character" even while enduring trials...we've worked concession because we always have...we support the programs because we always will...

As a mother...I believe that my son's demeaner and his reaction to adversity is a direct result of what "life lessons" - his father and I want him take with him when he does graduate this May.

______________________
And I might add....although a coaches vocabulary might include those 4 letter words....not all boys hear that type of language at home.

My husband leads by example...and in this world of acceptance and tolerance -I suspect that to be a mighty good thing....

And my son doesn't cringe when he does hear them...but hopefully he will choose the way of his father...

TRhit,

I agree (almost) completely with you! The little league mentality has to stop at High School. As to those parents raking the field, cooking, etc. more often than not, it is a thinly vailed attempt to get in good with the coach! There are a TON of parents who think if they are REALLY active around the filed, the coach will think they are great people and play their son--WAKE UP. Sadly, there are coaches who respond to that---then there are those that take control. This guy sounds like he is in control of his team. I agree, a "Hello" wouldn't kill him. But I've often seen parents who try to turn that 'hello' into a conversation about their sons playing time.

I know of a local coach who proclaimed that for the next year fundraising would have a very large impact upon playing time decisions. One dad raised $16,000 in donations from local business people. His son then sat the bench for the season. True story. They are somewhat bitter.

The coach was wrong for promising then not following through. The dad and his kid were wrong for believing.

Texas 2004 says that high school sports is about the team. I agree, but the win at all cost philosophy that coaches cloak in "The Team" troubles me, especially when it is inconsistent. If you want to win at all costs, then pull out all the stops and lets go.

Don't do something like cut your only decent catcher because you think he is a bad person and then ask your starting pitchers to throw 120-140 pitches because your new less skilled catcher is playing out of position and you don't trust or can't coach, your bullpen.

As a parent, you have to draw the line somewhere.

Dad04...in saying "team" I meant it in the best of ways...I'm not one who buys into the win at all costs and being unfair..now, that's not team oriented at all...obviously...

Tx2004
Thank you. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills right now dealing with the pitch limit issue for our signed senior.

Reading the article of the coaching crisis was interesting. As a coach of many years(not anymore) I can see a definite change in the whole climate of high school baseball. What some coaches are experiencing now in relationship to players and yes their parents was not the case years ago. the last few years of my tenure saw me spending time returning calls(at the request of my AD) to parents complaining about me our program. Never had to do that before. You just coached. Sometimes they did not call the AD. Went right to the principal demanding a meeting. Was once called in and had to defend myself from a few detractors who wrote an "anonymous letter" ripping me my assistants and basically wanting our heads. AT that time I sort of saw the handwriting on the wall. Why should I or any other coach have to defend ourselves from anonymous detractors. If they are so vehement talk to us face to face . Why would the administration consider a source that does not identify themselves? Sort of tells you something about the state of affairs. And talking to other coaches at other schools they had experienced similar situations. When and how did this come about. Another discussion another time.

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.

My son and his fellow freshman classmates are getting this "Life Lesson 101" from their new JV coach. The coach is young, very unfriendly, barks continuously and curses. Today, he told them not to STP (sh%t their pants).

But what a valuable life lesson this is...

Life is NOT always fair...people can be major Aholes...you need to eat crow and swallow your pride, etc., etc.

So although the coach you describe is truly a negative force, the lesson he's instilling is priceless; getting your son ready for the real world.

Dad04...Our son just finished his last basketball game (late last night..losing in playoffs)...so he and some other 5 starters have not even played in a baseball scrimmage...yet..

At the gym, I talked to our head baseball coach last night who spoke of a game they had last week...the team they played stomped our guys as those 5 were missing as well as 2 other starters who were in power lifting and gone...so most of our starters were tied up...

Coach said - the coach of the other team threw his ace pitcher knowing we were a little downsized to say the least...that coach told our coach, "Sorry, my pitcher needed a win."

We lost 18-1...

Mine too is a signed 04...and we've had a history of overuse and troublesome pitch counts...at times...

wish you the best...

I can rationalize anything too. I've heard..

"But he said he felt fine" well, of course he felt fine at 103 pitches coach. Is he running the team or are you?

But when the kid comes out after 5 innings and feels fine, because he should, the coach says..."Is he running the team or am I?"

The coach wants it both ways. Too Bad, So Sad.

what about the parents who take it out on the coach's wife because "little johnny" doesn't get to play!

quote:

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Originally posted by peanut:
what about the parents who take it out on the coach's wife because "little johnny" doesn't get to play!

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They are idiots & one of the other Parents should intervene & tell them to shut up.

Dad04,
You have a private message.

In one sentence, Coach May addresses the
most significant issue, IMO......

Some of you just have a big problem when you are no longer in control...that's the real issue here

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard

I have watched this post for awhile, being a head coach in a large school outside of Houston. I have 4 teams, 2 baseball classes, alot of kids to coach, and love every minute of it, even the parents, sometimes!! Coaches demeanor's change when you have parents like TR Hit, because you know that they leave all of the responsibility of their successes or failures to their kid. They quit trying to solve all of their kids problems, and let them grow up and find their way, whether it is athletically or just school. I appreciate your responses Tr, and teams that are good, usually have a bunch of parents like that. It is the teams that don't play well usually have a bunch of excuse making parents, because they have tried to protect their kids from failure for years, and this is the only way to deal with it is blaming someone else. "It sure can't be little bobby's fault, he has been an all-star since he was 5"!!!

Chilly,

Let me repeat that.

quote:

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Some of you just have a big problem when you are no longer in control...that's the real issue here

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Been guilty of that myself....may still be............

well moms and dads time to cut the strings and let the children grow into adults, if the kids are playing and not having a problem with the coach then i say let it lie.Let them do what they are supposed to do practice and follow the coaches decisions sorry bhut it's time

quote:

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well moms and dads time to cut the strings and let the children grow into adults, if the kids are playing and not having a problem with the coach then i say let it lie.Let them do what they are supposed to do practice and follow the coaches decisions sorry bhut it's time

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I have stayed out of this thread for a couple of pages. My pet peeve however is when people infer that someone is a smothering or not very good parent because they do not believe as you do. That is not an arguement, it is condescension(sp?).
the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

An update on the situation - Word is that he may be looking elsewhere because of differences with the AD in the way baseball funds are being handled. AD now has all funds going through him and coach has less control. OK, let's see how we can blame this on the parents or the AD because this certainly can't be a problem with the coach.

There are good parents that have cut the strings and simply go to games and watch - They still deserve a little respect. There are bad parents who run their mouths and most other parents despise. Why are they always lumped into one?

Not all coaches are gods who we should kiss the ground on which they walk - they are like parents, there are good ones and bad ones. They too shouldn't all be lumped together.

Some of these are understandable - No parents at practice, no talking to players an hour before the game and during the game and coaches not speaking to parents - fine. Some are not. Those dealing with belittling players, calling them names and players being afraid to speak up about an injury because they are in fear of losing their job is not fine.

In this ever more complicated world, I tend to simplify things and use basic common sense, which most of our parents do as well as the coaches.

If, as a parent, you can't keep your mouth and emotions under control, you don't belong at practice or games. Conveniently, over the past 2 years, players have been systematically weeded out for either their or their parents boorish behavior.

The coaches have a parents meeting before the season asking us to follow basic good behavior, let your boys prepare and play. HOWEVER, if a player motions to his parent "Am I doing this right?" the parent can answer quitely without fear. Its just about common sense.

As for cursing, the coaches have a rule ANYONE saying even D**N or H**L will only result in the WHOLE TEAM running a triple for each offense at practice or games. This includes coaches.

In short, our parents can go to practice, parents have team dinners, parents coach the fall team, if approached parents can say a little bit to the players during games, as long as the parents behave. If not, eventually they and their sons will be weeded out, no matter how talented. Its a very mature enviornment and this teaches the boys as much as anything else.

Sounds like common sense to me.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

The Coach who refers to "his" team.
As in a publicly funded highschool?
As in a district that mandates which schools you can attend?
The purpose of these schools is to provide an ego vehicle for the coach?
Interesting. Try that on for size in some other field of endeavour.

This sounds like a coach that I know. He expects the parents to raise money, work on the fields, etc... but he has a few rules.
1. The parents may talk to the coach about fishing, hunting, MLB, Final 4, etc... but their sons baseball position and playing time are off limits. Only the player may speak to the coach regarding those 2 things.
2. The players must workout at 6:30am every morning (even game day) in the weight room during the season and at 8:00am during the Summer season. The players have a scheduled weight room time of 3:30pm during the school year if they are not playing other sports but it is 6:30am if they participate in other sports.
3. Players are expected to throw and hit 2 day's per week in the off season.

cbg,

Maybe it's just me, but I don't see any problem with those rules. Sounds like the coach has the players interests in mind. Parnets work on fields and raise money because it benefits their kids to have better conditions.

1.Most coaches will not speak to parents about playing time. It sounds like he openly answers questions for the players and that is who should know. If your kid wants you to know, he will tell you. It sounds like he is teaching them to be adults and handle their own problems.
2. A regular workout schedule (year-round) is not uncommon of a top-notch program. If a kid is serious about baseball, they should be doing this anyway and some kids need to do it in a group to stay motivated.
3. Throwing year-round and hitting keeps muscle tone and muscle memory. Again, any kid that is serious should be doing it anyway.

HS ball is not rec ball. There is work involved, not just fun. I realize not all HS players are serious ball players, but the coach has to coach to that level or he is doing the ones that are a disservice.

http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp

http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp

agentdad,

I think that it is a great program and the whole staff is great. However, as you well know some parents just don't get the message. They (some other parents) just can't get the "Daddy Ball" out of their system. He even allows the parents to watch practice (if they keep their mouth closed) which I would not do.