Offspring....

Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for
> their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become
> detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's
> their life," and feel nothing?

> When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for
> doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do you
> stop worrying?" The nurse said, "When they get out of the accident
> stage." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

> When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and
> heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
> and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to ease my
> mind, the teacher said, "But don't worry, they all go through this
> stage. Then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them." My mother just
> smiled faintly and said nothing.

> When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to
> ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said,
> "They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can
> stop worrying. They'll be adults." My mother just smiled faintly and
> said nothing.

> By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still
> worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle -- there was
> nothing I could do about it. My mother just smiled faintly and said
> nothing.

> I celebrate their successes and joys, but continue to anguish over their
> failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their
> disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could
> stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was
> haunted by my mother's warm smile and her occasional, "You look pale.
> Are you all right?" "Call me the minute you get home." "Are you
> depressed about something?"

> Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern
> for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human
> frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse, or is it a
> virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

> One of my children became quite irritable when he called recently,
> saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one
> answered. I was worried." I smiled a warm smile.

The torch has been
> passed!