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Player benched due to working mother

MWR-VAMWR-VA1,000+ posts
Parents take a stand on youth league rule that benched 7-year-old

By Jennifer Lade
Standard-Times staff writer
May 16, 2008 6:00 AM
FREETOWN — What began as a squabble over concession stand duty has become an issue as polarized as the Red Sox-Yankees rivalry.

On one side is Jodie Hooper, whose 7-year-old son was benched for two games after Mrs. Hooper failed to work her scheduled concession stand shift Wednesday because she had to work that night. She says it is unfair to make children pay for a parent's absence. On the other side is the Freetown Youth Athletic Association, which says that without such a rule, no one would show up to work the stand and the same volunteers would get saddled with it time and again.

Each position has sparked a following of dedicated parents who are fed up.

"We just need to change it," Mrs. Hooper said at a league game Thursday evening. "Think of another alternative; we can't blame the children."

Her son watched the action from the bench and drew pictures in the sand for the second night of his suspension, seemingly oblivious to the publicity.

"I'm just trying to come together as a community," Mrs. Hooper said. "That was my only purpose in this, not to blame anybody."

Maggie Guido, director of the concession stand, had a different take on the situation.

"I think the rules are awesome," she said.

"If parents don't show up, as a director, I have to stay here" and miss her children play their baseball games, she said.

No one has ever had a problem switching their shift at the concession stand, she added.

Dave Brouillette, president of the FYAA, agreed that Ms. Hooper had ample time to switch her shift and even plead her case in front of the league directors. Mrs. Hooper said she found out Monday that she was not able to work the concession stand.

"She didn't like the ruling and she had the opportunity to go before the people that make the decisions," but she declined to attend a meeting, he said.

Other towns' youth leagues have similar rules that bench kids when parents skip concession stand duty, he said.

"We're not the only league that's doing it," he said.

But Marie Jagiello, Ms. Hooper's mother, said it was difficult for Ms. Hooper to find a replacement, having just moved to town from Wareham with her husband and two sons, ages 2 and 7.

"It's not like Jodie didn't try to get someone. ... She doesn't know anybody here," she said.

Mrs. Hooper contacted state Rep. Stephen Canessa, D-New Bedford, who contacted Freetown Selectman Jean Fox. Ms. Fox called Mr. Brouillette twice about the matter.

"Both people are trying to do the right thing," Ms. Fox said. "Dave is trying to enforce the policy and Mrs. Hooper is advocating for her child.

"I personally would rather see a fine system. I don't think younger children are emotionally equipped to deal with the stigma of being benched for something their parent did."

"I think it is an unfortunate situation," said Rep. Canessa. "I certainly understand the league has their rules and bylaws to follow. But, at the same time, what they are doing is hurting a young boy. ... I'm not in any position to tell anyone what to do, but I hope that something is worked out for the betterment of the child."

Kim Bodendorf, a parent in the league, said she understands why parents have to work the concession stand, but she disagrees with the consequences falling to the child.

"Bench a kid for not flipping a burger?" she asked. To her, it's a bit extreme.

Another parent, Christine Keating, would rather eliminate the problem altogether.

"If it's that much of a headache to manage ... don't have a concession stand," she said.

But the stand is a big source of income for the league, which uses the proceeds to maintain the fields. The concession stand takes in about $30,000, or a quarter of the league's total income, Mr. Brouillette said.

Dulce Mota said it isn't such a headache to help out.

"The rules are the rules," said Ms. Mota, who was working the concession stand Thursday night.

"Everybody has to chip in. This way it's not the same people every time."

Standard-Times correspondent Kim Ledoux contributed to this report.

Contact Jennifer Lade at jlade@s-t.com

Link: http://www.southcoasttoday.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AI...80516/NEWS/805160324

** Massachusetts State Representative Stephen R. Canessa **

Link: http://www.repcanessa.com
Learning day by day on the hsbbweb...
Last edited {1}
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zombywoofzombywoof1,000+ posts
Good rule. If more leagues did this, less parents would be stiffing the leagues out of gettng out of snack bar duty.

If the parent's won't do their time, then pay a kid $10 bucks an hour to do the snackbar and it's covered. Or switch days or times with somebody. You'd think she's the only one who has to work for a living. She's just making excuses to get out of it.

Why this story actually made the news is odd but it did.
Last edited by zombywoof
infidel_08infidel_081,000+ posts
Too bad the person taking the kid to the ballpark couldn't have helped out. I'm not against the rule, there are many ways to work it out when things arise. The last league we were in had it where you worked the next or perviously scheduled game so you could see your kid play. It's hard to tell what happened here, but 10 years ago everyone had a parents' phone number list.

It must have been someone elses' fault. I anticipate a lawsuit.
AcademyDadAcademyDad500+ posts
.

We always had a whole handful of teenagers (14, 15 y/o) who would do the 3 hour shift for about $5 (not an hour either). It had a dual purpose, in that it usually kept the teenagers out of the Mall as well...

Sounds like a definite lawsuit to me, as it would take very little in front of a "jury of our peers" to make the kid seem like this was a life altering experience.

7 to 3, 3 to 11, 11 to 7...

cadDAD

.
Baseballdad1228Baseballdad1228500+ posts
There are lots of families who have to work just to afford registration fees. Keeping a 7 year old off a field for two days is against everything we should stand for as adults and baseball parents. Someone (like a board member) should have stepped up for the sake of the child. Our society cannot be so rigid with rules (and I understand the need and place for them) that a child is left in a dugout for two games because his mother missed one kitchen duty. Punishing a child to get to a parent is immoral to me.
Infield08Infield081,000+ posts
Most likely, if the mother had notified her son's coach about her work conflict, he would have helped her figure something out or at least referred her to one of the league officials or concession stand coordinator. She probably just blew off her work duty, which unfairly penalized another parent who had to miss his or her child's game in order to cover. The 7-year-old was probably oblivious to what was going on around him. I highly doubt that he is scarred for life -- or even for the week. Roll Eyes
4 46310+ posts
quote:
Reply

What did the mother do to get coverage for her responsibility? It appears nothing. At what point will people start blaming the system and do what they need to do. Every league has parents like these. I respect the fact that she needs to work but there is nothing preventing her either switching to a weekend game when she isn't working or getting someone to cover for her. One phone call to a friend or other parent of a player on the team could have resolved this before it was an issue. No sympathy from me.
L lafmom5,000+ posts
We have all had parents like this associated with our kid's teams. What to do is a difficult thing. I have no sympathy for mom - pure and simple she didn't do her part. Either work the concession or find someone to do so. However, a seven year old has no control over the situation and to punish a child for what it's lazy parent does just isn't a good solution IMO.
M Michael'sDad100+ posts
I wonder what her husband was doing at this time or her mother.

If she has time to argue the situtation, she had time to have found someone, even paid a local kid a few bucks, to take her place. I probably need more information to make an informed decision but to me it sounds like she didn't think it was a big deal and then didn't like it when when the league held firm and her child didn't play.

My feeling is, if the parents don't take some responsibility many leagues wouldn't be able to exist or many parents wouldn't be able to afford them.

I still remember those that used the practices and games as baby sitting sessions and would drop the kids off and leave.
Last edited by Michael'sDad
coach2709coach270910,000+ posts
The rule is stupid. The woman messed up by not calling (to say she doesn't know anyone is a terrible excuse - that is what league administration is for). The kid is not an egg and won't be turned against baseball because he sat two games.

It's not the end of the world. Talk to each other and things have a way of working themselves out.
DO Dear old Dad100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Baseballdad1228:
There are lots of families who have to work just to afford registration fees. Keeping a 7 year old off a field for two days is against everything we should stand for as adults and baseball parents. Someone (like a board member) should have stepped up for the sake of the child. Our society cannot be so rigid with rules (and I understand the need and place for them) that a child is left in a dugout for two games because his mother missed one kitchen duty. Punishing a child to get to a parent is immoral to me.


I couldn't agree more with the above quote. But going one step further, how about the people who put this rule into affect in the first place. I hold them morally responsible as well. They must have known this situation would eventually happen and a kid would be benched because of it.
C Coachric1,000+ posts
I thought this was little league, where you can't sit a kid ever.
Unless of course if it benefits a goofy bunch of adults.
Then if you have a kid who is a discipline problem, you can't sit him, as every kid has to play at least 1 AB or 1 defensive inning or both.
The kid should not have paid the price for his Knucklehead parent and a worse group who think this rule is good.
And they call the place Freetown!!!
Infield08Infield081,000+ posts
quote:
In my sons league you have to put down a $25 "concession stand" fee when you register.

When you work your shift you receive your money back.

Seems to work fine.


Sounds like a good idea and I'm glad it works in your league. But where I live, many parents wouldn't blink an eye at having to forfeit the $25.

For those with discretionary money, their time is oftentimes worth more than their money. Some wouldn't think twice about blowing off their duties, even if it meant paying a fine. For those on a tight budget, fining serves to punish the parents who can least afford it.

It's probably more effective to (unfortunately) hit where it hurts, especially in these days of helicopter parenting.

Honestly, I would think a kid would hurt way worse if he were benched for poor performance than for the irresponsibility of his parent. JMHO
CoachB25CoachB25Honorary "Old TImer"
End Result - A kid was punished. An innocent 7 YEAR OLD KID was not allowed to play the game of baseball. I can't say I'm in favor of that. I coach Middle School Basketball. I kept 13 kids this past year. We played 18 games. In 18 games, every player played at least 3 minutes. KIDS!!!

I am in favor of the suggestion of the $25 fee at registration refundable upon completion of the service. We have a similar policy with regards to our HS sports program.

BTW, the article suggested that the kid wasn't aware of what was happening. Remember when you were 7 and all of the other kids were allowed to go to recess and you were kept in the classroom? OK so maybe some of you didn't share my experiences but you get the point.
M MTS100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Michael'sDad:
I wonder what her husband was doing at this time or her mother.
If she has time to argue the situtation, she had time to have found someone, even paid a local kid a few bucks, to take her place. I probably need more information to make an informed decision but to me it sounds like she didn't think it was a big deal and then didn't like it when when the league held firm and her child didn't play.

My feeling is, if the parents don't take some responsibility many leagues wouldn't be able to exist or many parents wouldn't be able to afford them.

I still remember those that used the practices and games as baby sitting sessions and would drop the kids off and leave.


What was the dad's excuse? These are the same type of people that leave their food wrappers on the bleachers and expect others to pick up after them. I remember a team that was leaving the field with food wrappers and empty plastic bottles all over the place. Their feelings were hurt when I asked them to pick up after themselves. I asked them if they liked watching their kids play in the trash.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
I thought this was little league, where you can't sit a kid ever.
Unless of course if it benefits a goofy bunch of adults.
Then if you have a kid who is a discipline problem, you can't sit him, as every kid has to play at least 1 AB or 1 defensive inning or both.
LL players can be benched. It has to go through the Player Agent. If the league has a rule regarding concession participation all it would take is informing the PA the responsibility is not being fulfilled.

When I was involved in LL we had a $75 parental participation deposit. Either help out or forfeit the money so teens can be paid to help. We used to joke for $150 those who don't help can criticize the work of those who do.
2Bmom2Bmom1,000+ posts
quote:
Our high schools in the area require all students to complete 40 hours of community service.


bulldogbaseball, what a great idea. Our HS requires 75 hours. I don't think it's occurred to anyone to advertise this as a way to earn the hours. Despite the unfortunate circumstance that started it, there are some great ideas in this thread!
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Can't remember the younger years but in HS, you worked the stand or you paid or your son sat. The coach did not allow players to man the
concession during playing time, but Varsity could work during JV and vice versa for service hours and it was a good way for seniors to catch up.

IMO, they should have let the player play, then confronted the parent for another time or pay up. And yes, where was the dad (or maybe there was none) or another member of the family to help out.

The mom messed up and has wasted too much negative effort on this, just do your time.

Sad really.
Last edited by TPM
L lafmom5,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Michael'sDad:

If she has time to argue the situtation, she had time to have found someone, even paid a local kid a few bucks, to take her place.

That is an excellent point! She found out who to contact to voice her concerns, but couldn't do that to find a replacement? She feels strongly enough about the kid's rights to complain, but not to contribute by working the concessions.

Again, I don't think a child should be benched.... but this mom needs to mom up!
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