Please settle this argument

Unless there is some MAJOR, MAJOR, MAJOR issue of concern, in my experience the player (NOT mom and dad) should be talking to the coach from the high school level on up.

quote:

Originally posted by Pirate Fan:
My wife says that I need to have more interaction with the coach. Call him up, check on son's progress, etc. She says other parents are doing it and so forth.

Of course I respectfully disagree.

Any comments?

What are the circumstances, why would she think you need to do this? Unless there is a problem, just sit back and relax.

Read an article earlier this year...

Phil Simms' two sons both attend(ed) a local NJ HS. The coach said he was the least obtrusive parent he'd ever had.

Parents should NOT contact a coach unless there is an issue of abuse or if the player is not performing in the classroom. Stay away, let your son make his own way.

Just started semester #4, second season. My next call will be the first.

What exactly would anyone discuss with the coach?

I am there to watch my son - and eat sunflower seeds - and cheer for the team.

I am not there to coach the team.

Follow your instincts - IMO - and the advice given previously - and stay out of your son's stuff.

JMHO

If "other parents are doing it," it's virtually guaranteed that the coach is cringing every time he takes their phone calls...and, afterwards, says something to his administrative assistant about doing a better job of screening calls in the future.

No, no, and...absolutely no.

pirate, your situation is NOT uncommon
my wife kinda thinks like that also, so I assured her I'd handle it


I've favored "personal interaction" at the field, & it's worked for 4 yrs now, ie:

"hi coach! - - - how's the family? - - - field looks great!" . . . "we'll talk again soon"



wife - "well?! - - did you speak to him?"
me - "yup, he 'bout talked my ear off! - - - all is well!"

just my suggestion, but a good one

During my son’s three years in college the coaching staff called me three times. Two were about injuries and surgeries and one time about a summer league. I in turn called twice in three years, one about a pending surgery and one time about a summer league. I never felt I SHOULDN’T call nor did I ever feel the URGE TO call. While I do see a need for involvement with some of your son’s college issues such as academics, housing, financial, transportation, etc. there are not many baseball specifics situations would arise that would warrant parental involvement. I did call his academic advisor about four times discussing academic issues to make sure something didn’t fall through the cracks and I have called the administrative assistant about different issues from football tickets to purchasing players uniforms that are sold to the public. I’m puzzled as to what “Checking on your son’s progress” means? If this is “baseball progress”; parents can read the stats, check the team website, read the newspapers, read the media guide, or watch the game to monitor their son’s progress. The college my son attended also had a Diamond Club (boosters) that provided daily email updates on how practices were going. Hopefully your son will also pick up that cell phone you’re paying for and give you an update as to how his baseball is going.
Fungo

Pirate Fan, speaking as a wife and mother.....I can't think of too many reasons to call the coach....my son needs to deal with the coach......that's his responsibility......not Mom and Dad's.....

Academics....Health issues.....Fund raising.....we would prefer to deal with son.......

Pirate Fan,

Mothers will be mothers and it is their job to worry about the kids no matter what they are doing.

I had a year where my son actually played for me in college....can you imagine those conversations. I was always getting it chewed for something. But I never treated him different than any other player, I think maybe that is where the rub came in; she thought I was to hard.

The bottom line is I never spoke with parents or my wife about anything related to baseball. The only conversations were about academics and that is it.

It will be harder for your wife than it will be you, but in time she will understand that you or her will do more harm than good. Especially if you are going to try and talk about playing time, his role, he is better at another position, he is better than the kid that is playing now, etc, etc.

Your son will speak up when he feels it is time. Good luck and don't worry, things will take care of themselves.

O42

Agree with Dad04 and Bee. Son's a senior and my next call will be my first. Have had some conversations at the field, but usually not about baseball.

Not that I wouldn't want to talk his ear off about the team, what's going on, etc..., but he has enough on his plate without trying to appease every parent. JMHO.

I am in agreement here about making contact - should be limited if any.

My style would be similar to Bee's and that is assuming I would even get close enough to the coach to hear or say anything.

I made one call to an assistant coach early this fall asking about summer team placement. He told me what their placement strategies were and that was it.

gotwood4sale:

LOL!! The coach probably helps justify the A.A. to help with all those calls coming in from parents!!

Responding to some of the other posts I've read here, I'd have to say that my experience pretty closely parallels Fungo's and Bee>'s. My son's coach and I are on what I would describe as "comfortable speaking terms;" but, I'm very careful to leave the baseball part totally up to my son and him. Frankly, I've always felt that conversations about my son's performance would intrude upon a realm that belonged totally to him and the rest of the coaching staff.

If I'd ever felt concerned about Robert's personal well-being, whether because of some interaction between the two of them; or, if I'd felt that he could have been helpful to Robert on a personal matter, I wouldn't have hesitated to have called him.

No, No, No - Parents don't need to call the coach. I will admit, that as a mom of a freshman this fall, I did toy with the idea, but thankfully common sense prevailed! It is not our place to be calling the coach - these are big boys now! Tell your wife that "everyone" else is not calling the coach - including the moms.

The biggest compliment I can give a kid is when he talks to our coaching staff "man to man" either face to face or on the phone.

It tells me that the boy is becoming a man and truth be known most kids dont want mommy or daddy in their business.

Cut the strings !!!!!

quote:

by CD: My style would be similar to Bee's and that is assuming I would even get close enough to the coach to hear or say anything.

here's how it works, it's not something ya have to force - just do what comes naturally


coaches "know" the fans & families (aka "special fans),
and seem willing to greet and chat whenever appropriate

2 hours before game time Prepster's spot down past 1B is ALWAYS available


I'm odd because I'm happy to arrive at the park before the gates open to watch BP's &
pre-game warm-ups - they ARE structured, but also relaxed with some dead time


the crack "ping" of the bat is acompanied by good music


I've had visiting coaches stroll over to me at the fence and chat


also a great place to meet some visiting parents



.

quote:

Prepster's spot down past 1B is ALWAYS available

Yep, that's right, Bee>. In the relatively Spartan confines of Boshamer, I seek refuge (way) down the first baseline (and invite anyone who visits to come down and chat).

However, THIS season, when UNC meets Georgia Tech in the palatial surroundings of Russ Chandler Stadium, I'm expecting to be HOSTED by my longtime friend, Bee>. I think it's referred to as the "Players' Families' Skybox." You know, the one you called Coach Hall about and asked him to install.

Us in the Skybox:

Last year there was a power hitter on our team and his dad thought he should be playing every inning of every game. He was proably one of thye strongest hitters in Ontario. His dad would sit and complain constantly and yell at the kid and the coaches. he would confront them and thyings got worse. I used to tell him to stop doing it but he continued. He usede to get so angry he would walk away and he was never happy. One game he hit a 3 run homer with wood bat and the dad returned and started critisizing his son for his swing. I got angry with him and told him off. He quit the team about 3 weeks before the season ended because the coaches were hardly playing him.
We also had a guy who sucked up to the coach and he could do no wrong. He was a decent LHP but it was obvious he was playing the coach and it worked. Playing D1 NCAA and was heavily promoted by the coach.
2 extremely different approaches and so were the results. The LH power hitter has no offers from colleges and is an example of a guy who had ablity but the coaches probably said he and his dad were trouble.

yikes Prep, I feel the pressure

OK, OK, I'll see if I can get Coach's Mom & Dad to give up their "skybox" seats for US YOU

they ARE seniors, I'm sure hoping they'll be OK out in the sweltering sun


.

Agree with most here. Ok to call to clear up administrative type things if needed but usually can be handled by asst. coaches or other staff depending on size of program.
Calling head coach for anything other than serious issue probably not a great idea.
One thing I can say for sure - for any whose sons are fortunate enough to make the bigs it is not a good thing when mom calls to complain to a mlb gm.
Had a friend's brother play in show for 8 years. Friend and players dad feel his career could have continued but player admittedly scuffled with 2 managers. Worse, mom called gm's on a few occasions and unloaded - this from a woman whose voice could be heard from 3 fields away in little league.

gotwood - - - re: . . administrative assistant

ie: you would find that staff member in the bullpen with a clipboard if he/she had finished mixing the power-aid in the cooler, and throwing the towels into the dryer


.

quote:

by GW4: ..but it strikes me as odd that some would advise no contact at all...friendly banter back and forth is healthy...regardless of the people involved.

AGREE, who needs an agenda to talk about baseball -


I'll talk baseball with the homeless guy on the sidewalk feeding $ into his can until he tells ME,
"thanks pal, but move along now, YOU NEED HELP!"


.

Excuse me guys....but I think you all took a wrong turn somewhere....first don't think anyone posted never speak to the coach and secondly, and most importantly....the original post specifically asked about checking son's progress with the Coach.....I don't think any of us are anti-social enough that we wouldn't talk about weather, field conditions..... and GENERAL baseball topics with the Coach.....

arizona,

Good point. I think there was an implied thing that was unspoken here. Talking as normal human beings if you happen to come into normal human contact seems well.... quite normal. I think the implied incommunicado (that word was for you Fungo) part would be trying to devine things about your son that would "normally" best be discussed between your son and the coach (i.e., baseball matters not related to health).

quote:

quote:
by GW4: ..but it strikes me as odd that some would advise no contact at all...friendly banter back and forth is healthy...regardless of the people involved.

GW4
I agree. Thankfully, I haven't had a need to call the office. Mrs. Dad04 called once to verify team hotel on a trip or something like that. With the increased freedoms of college come responsibility for ones lot. They sink or swim, regardless.

I bumped into the Associate Head Coach at a cook out last fall and chatted briefly. I commented the field looked great (after 2 hurricanes), the young team looked very strong and the Jambalaya was delicious. I also mentioned Jr. absolutely love his school, his team, the whole deal.

Coach looked up from his bowl of Jambalaya, smiled and said....."Thanks."

When I get a chance to engage his boss, I'll thank him for the opportunity given our son. I'll thank him for insisting he be an excellent citizen. I'll thank him for insisting he strive to reach his academic potential. I'll thank him for running the most successful program at the school. I'll thank him for giving our son the opportunity to thrill us beyond and above an already thrilling career before he got there.

I could do that over the phone, I guess. I'd prefer to do it at the ballpark.

GEAUX CAJUNS

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Pretty well agree....(nice '04)...

So far...

- Sent the recruiter a congrats on a fine '06 recruting class...

- had a really nice unintended conversation with assistants at the Peoria Senior wood bat...

- sent an XMAS card thanking the coaching staff for their hard work in the fall and wishing them a nice holiday...

- sent an Email to the Academic advisor thanking him for his hard work in my son's 4.0...

Didn't expect to hear back from anyone...

.

WOW after all these years of marriage I might be right for once.

I think I will enjoy the moment!

I don't see why some folks think that Head Coaches, for any program are unapproachable. Some coaches consider their players as part of a family, the parents the extended part.

I certainly wouldn't call just to ask how things were going. However, your son has a coach he reports directly to who would be more than willing to tke a phone call if their was an issue.

My son's pitching coach is rather unique, since his players are far from home, he does keep in touch. Many of you who do know him know that's what he is all about. So since he has an open door policy, it's hard to judge what others do or don't have.

I wouldn't call a Head Coach unless there was a serious reason to. But after a game is a great chance to speak with a coach. Our son's coach makes it his business to thank all of the parents for coming out to a series and it is not unusual to be called into the dugout for a special hello.

TPM

Not sure that coaches are not approachable. I agree they are. Personally, I feel that I would be encroaching on my son's business by regularly engaging the coaching staff. If Sully encourages regular communication, that is great. His players and those at other schools come from everywhere. He may be just unusual from that standpoint, but that's a good thing.

Coaches are generally very responsive to all sorts of inquiries.

As the parent of a Freshman, I have read this thread with considerable interest. Sons coach is GREAT. We have gone down to the school on 2 occasions and both times have had nice conversations with him and his assistants! Would NEVER think of not speaking with him, and he initiated conversation about sons play!

Over Christmas break, he even sent my son a note commending him on his great grades for the first semester.