Posted with a wistful sigh

Thanks for sharing Newcomer...here's a kleenex...


I know you must be wavering between melancholy for the end of a path that has been followed since your son was a boy
and anticipation as a new road is charted.

I think it takes a great deal of maturity to look at your situation and make a decision that you know will be questioned by your family and friends, especially when baseball has always been part of your life.
So many of our sons (posters here, I mean) become so ingrained with basbeall, people don't always see that they may have other interests and goals. And I think it is harder for those people to accept that the player's focus has shifted so when any talk of leaving the game comes up, they say things to the the player about not "giving up" or "quitting."
It puts so much pressure on the player as they do not want to disappoint others or hurt their team.

Your son should be commended for taking that tremendous step of looking at his options, thinking through his goals, and making a tough decision that will change the course of his life...a choice that is right for him.
I'm sure it was very hard for him to face his coach and even harder to pick up the phone to tell you and it sounds as if he handled the situation with great poise.

What has he decided to study?
I certainly wish him well
and feel free to share his future accomplishments in his new endeavors!

Newcomer,
I had to sigh myself when I read your post. This is something that all baseball parents face, the eventuality of son hanging them up. It's really scary for some of us, and only because it brings the unknown to the forefront- that being what will they do next? And what will we do when we haven't got the next game to worry about? LOL
It sounds like Sonny has a great head on his shoulders, and a great plan for his life. Wherever that road takes him, he's already taken some huge steps along the way. Please do stick around and let us know how things are going.
All the best of luck to Sonny.

I agree with Bluesky. It takes a lot for a boy who has played and loved the game all of his life to walk away to pursue other interests.

There is life after baseball. You have to always let your sons know that at anytime it's his dream and that may not include baseball.

Best wishes to your son.

I agree that it takes a lot of maturity to be able to tell the people who love you that its time to move on. Baseball will only last a little longer for many of our sons. Some will be lucky to make their HS team, we have read of many who did not.then the next level takes even more numbers away.I think by the time you get to college ball and you have played your whole life, you will know if its for you or not. The grind as people have mentioned, the tiredness of trying to keep up. its a lot. I wish your son the best.I have spoken to many people lately whos kids have walked away and they say that life changes and for some its freeing and more time to do other things. Good luck to your son in his studies.

Newcomer - I am sorry to hear this news but it sounds to me like you have raised a fine young man. All the best to him in the future!

Newcomer,

quote:

Sort of an end to a chapter, I realize. But the beginning of a new one. And I'd like to think that baseball has built a good boy who will make use of the skills and wisdom he's learned on and off the field.

Thank you for sharing your son's story with us.
I hope you will continue to post with us. I have enjoyed and valued your input.
I'd also like to congratulate your son on his ability to know what he wants and to go for it!
I'm excited for his future!

Newcomer, There are many of us who continue to hang around here despite the fact our sons are no longer in baseball. My own son gave up ball last fall - for his own personal reasons. I think any of us that have had kids who have spent the life around that small white ball understand how difficult it can be when our kids make that decision. There is some sort of peace though knowing that they did it on their own terms when they were ready for whatever reason. It's been an adjustment for me and continues to be this spring - our first time in sixteen years without baseball being the center of our lives.

I don't get around to the site as much as I use to because of other things that have consumed more of my life. However, I believe I will always keep HSBBW as a part of my day or week.... great friends and folks who love a sport that is dear to me. I continue to enjoy living through others too! Also, I've known parents here who's sons have decided to give it up, only to head to the field once again. Others who didn't do that, but have shared the stories of their sons who went on to make great choices that were often based on the lessons they've learned on those fields over so many years.

So, congrats to you on many years of joy with your son and may they continue in so many other ways!! You must stick around though.... so I don't feel the loner!!

quote:

Baseball will only last a little longer for many of our sons.

I've been thinking much about the end of the line lately and your post, Newcomer, really has me examining my own degree of emotional investment in son's baseball career.

We have always believed he was choosing his own path and considered ourselves so lucky that it's our youngest who has had such special opportunities to play beyond high school.

Our wild enthusiastic support includes son's brothers, sister, and the rest of the family, and his career has brought great pride, fun and entertainment to us all.

But, you know, this season has been his first "off" year and I think the grind of it has kicked in for him.

Of course that doesn't affect our level of support, and we've gone to as many games as we could just like always (tougher when they're in college), but now I am wondering if he may have reached a point where he's playing because he thinks we expect it?

That's the last message we want to send, and yet... Newcomer, thanks for making me reflect in this, and a big hug to you as you move into the next phase of watching baseball WITH your son.

It hurts...

My son, too has decided to give up baseball. He played his freshman year for a nice D3 program. It took a real toll on his grades and I think he was a bit overwhelmed by the demands on his time.

I'm happy he can now experience another side of college life off the ball field (and the bus).

But I'm heartbroken as well. It's the only game for me -- baseball. I still go see some games though. I love the team as well.

abcbaseball,

Many people with their boys still in HS dont understand the time committment with college baseball, living away from home, laundry, weight lifting, studies. My son moved out a few weeks ago and he has very little time to just hang.
He is only 30 minutes away and has come to see us once.
I used to think what would I do when its over, but I think I will miss it but could move on,esp. if its my sons decision. best of luck with your son,I have heard many stories of boys not wanting to play once in college.There are other things for him to spend time on and he will find lots of things to enjoy. Hopefully all healthy.

Sounds like a smart young man. Most the ex players around here continue to play in one of the 3 high level SR teams in the summer.

Newcomer:
One thing I hope for my own son is that no matter how far he goes in baseball, that baseball remains only a part of his identity, never fully defines him as a person and as a man.

It sounds as if your son has kept baseball in its proper perspective, and that you have too. I certainly hope you do hang around here. None of us know how far we are away from dealing with the same thing, and we can use your help when we do!

I feel you, dog. I was concerned for my son as baseball ended, not entirely on his terms. He simply ran out of eligibility short of graduating. He has picked up the ball with academics and an internship in his field of study and has never been happier.

Newcomer, yours has moved on on his own terms and time table. There is something to be said for that. He'll be fine. It ends for everybody sooner or later.

Guys, just think about that time right around the corner with your Grand kids! You'll all be the cool, baseball grandpa. Just don't catch without a mask.

quote:

just think about that time right around the corner with your Grand kids!

Wow, you all cheered me up!

My daughter asked me last summer at a legion game, if I'd still be watching my son play when he was playing in a men's league.....

probably....

But, yes, there is life beyond baseball.

Thanks everybody!

The fear of something that you do not want to face is always worse than actually what you have to face. In the end it truly is just a game. Yes it teaches them many things about life that can assist them for the rest of it. But those things are learned regardless if they play four years in college or not. It will not be important when your son is 30 if he can hit a curveball or throw 90. What will last and be important are the things about life that baseball has taught him. I agree , its sounds like you raised one fine young man. Good luck to him and you will move on as well and find other reasons to be just as proud of him.

quote:

Originally posted by Newcomer:

This website has been of enormous help to me personally. Even if the intent was primarily baseball, I think it has come to mean much more to me than sports. I'm hopelessly addicted to it and will continue to view all the posts, debates, arguments and revelations with great interest.

And HOW! I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one who is addicted here! I'd been gone a long time ago if it weren't for all you enablers! LOL.

Newcomer, ditto on what everyone else on here as already said to you. I know that hindsight now you are quite proud of him for growing up and becoming that young man we all hope our sons will become one day.

Now go break out the fishing poles, relax, and begin building brand new memories with him!

It happens. My son hung up his spikes after his senior year in HS. He had the skills to play at the next level but he knew what he wanted to do in college and playing baseball wasn't in the plans. He's doing well in college so he made the right decision.

It's not the end of the world. All players are gonna hit that point at some time whether it's high school, college or pro although it was easy for my son because he knows what he wants to do and he saw baseball for what it was. A game and something he enjoyed playing from T-ball thru high school. He played baseball because it was fun, not something he was depending on making a living out of. He will make more in his chosen occupation he's studying for than he would have as a baseball player.

As a parent, you suppport their choices. It's part of growing up.

abcbaseball, I am glad several posters have cheered you up. I can only imagine the roller-coaster emotions that you have been experiencing. They say time heals all wounds, and while this may not be true for a significant loss such as death, I bet it applies to situations such as yours. Best wishes to your son as he moves on. I'm sure that a few months from now, you will be seeing many positive results stemming from the decision he is making right now. Meanwhile, know that you are in the thoughts and prayers of many on this site!

We were within a whisker of a similar decision by our soph. son. He had decided not to endure a 2nd year of watching the field from the bench at his D1. Too many older, better(?) players ahead of him.

We told him if the passion wasn't there, it was time. Of course, silently and amongst ourselves, my wife and I were extremely saddened.

At nearly the last minute, he started receiving calls from a local JC, that was in need of a position player, due to injury. Someone must have given the coach my son's contact info.

After a few days, my son decided to give it one more try. After a lot of scrambling to find classes, as well as adjusting his D1 schedule (he decided to remain concurently enrolled at the D1), he made the switch.

They had their first game yesterday and defeated a ranked opponent and my son had a very good game.

Now I have to really try and see as many games as possible. I've now seen the end of the tunnel and I realize it may come to a end sooner rather then later.

quote:

Originally posted by Rob Kremer:
One thing I hope for my own son is that no matter how far he goes in baseball, that baseball remains only a part of his identity, never fully defines him as a person and as a man.

Rob...one of the many talks I had with our son following his injury was EXACTLY this. I told him that if he didn't want to go back at it, that we were fine with that...that many things defined him in our minds and baseball was only one of those many things.

I needed him to know that my view on him as my son, as a young man...did not rise nor fall based on him being a baseball player.

I think he appreciated that...told me he knew that...but he'd just like to get back at it in either case.

Dooer:

I've always felt there are too few at-bats in life (literally and metaphorically). Catch every game you can!

Best wishes to all your players who really want to be on the field, and also to those who have headed in another direction after years of baseball.

ABC: It gets a bit better with time. Plus, you get busy with other things just like your son will.

Our son is doing fine. And, we've learned to be fine, too!! He had to learn how to deal with free time..something he hadn't had for a long time. Banged around the house all summer because he decided too late to not play summer ball and most of the summer jobs were already gone. He took a long backpacking trip with a friend and then spent the summer getting his EMT license. Read ALOT of books. Was bored ALOT. Went back to college in the Fall (the first time he hasn't played fall ball) and learned how to deal with free time at school. There's a lot of it when you don't play sports. He got a job (his first one) and even has a girl friend (his first one). He calls home "just to talk" and spends a lot of time texting his younger sister. Concentrating on his band and his studies..and lives right across the hall from his former teammates. So how's he really doing? I don't know. We don't talk about baseball at all anymore. I'll let him decide if and when he wants to talk about it. Interesting, old habits die hard: I still see him practicing his wind-up every once in a while. I think he does it without even knowing.

These are unbelievable posts in this thread - honest, well-written, and riveting. Nobody, and I mean nobody in Hollywood writes this good. abcbaseball, Dooer, and Newcomer - those are fantastic posts! All the best to your sons and you in the future.

This will be our last year with our son's high school season. He has been playing since the age of four,thinking about it makes me teary eyed. Baseball has been our family past time,meeting different players and families has been a joy. As we play, this season I will savory each inning! We will learn to go on as our son. He has learn a lot more than to play baseball he has learn the never give up there is always another inning in life ...and has relationships with friends that he will cherish for many years to come .

Newcomer,
Glad things are going well for your son.
You mentioned that he is in a band. If available, please post the band website...I'd love to check it out. My son is a musician, also so I have really come to enjoy listening to new music.

I wish the best for all the others who have posted.
One great thing about baseball, you can continue to love the game even if your perspective of how you experience it has to change a bit.

Sonny's band is on facebook. GhostTown Refugees. His band is playing a fundraiser for Darfur next week at University of San Francisco, if anybody is in town. All proceeds go to relief efforts in Darfur.


Bbase: I see you are posting for the first time. I hope you come back. This website is so much more than baseball. It is about families, parenting, friends, American pathos. It is one great continuous Ken Burns experience.

Thanks newcomer for the kind support