Reluctance to contact college coaches

Some people will tell you that their kids are too busy so do the work for them, or you will find parents beginning the process and contacting coaches before the kids actually play their first HS game (coaches don't like that but are polite).

I do not think that your circumstance is unusual.

You need to sit down with him and make him understand that he has to take responsibilty if this is what HE (make sure he does) wants to do. Give me clear direction of what is expected, if it is too much for him, than help, but let him know that he has to play a part in this as well.

Sometimes filling out all of those questionaires and contacting becomes too much of a project, perhaps contacting those many schools is an overewhelming task to begin with, so cut it down for now.

TPM,

Thanks for the advice. I will sit him down this evening and make everything clear. We believe that he should be taking the responsibility to do this himself but I have offered to help him short of actually doing all of the work. I even told him that we could breakdown the list and do about five colleges at a time. I would be happy if he just got something out this week.

I'm not sure if it procrastination or something else that is keeping him from doing this as he is the one who told us this is what he wants.

VARHPmom,

I'm not sure what year your son is, but this is somewhat typical in the beginning. Once he starts to hear about teammates and others getting interest from colleges, he may step it up a notch. Also, if he is an introvert, you're going to have challenges down the road. He'll figure it out quickly. My son is an introvert, but he overcame this when he realized he was the one that would have to talk to the coach face to face at an Official Visit (or un-Official Visit) or take a phone call from a college coach.

I wouldn't issue an ultimatum. Most likely that will not get the desired outcome and he will feel more frustrated. Your son is probably feeling overwhelmed with the whole thing, as you probably are too. Block out some time and go over this with him. Discuss goals is the first huge step. Then discuss the actions that need to happen to achieve those goals. Assign ownership and dates just like a project plan. If nothing happens, then tell him he will be on his own to complete this.

You may need to find some other ways to explain the recruiting process to him based upon his motivations. Truthfully, the hardest part is getting started, and writing those first emails or putting together a baseball resume. I would tell him that you (parent) will help him get started, but that he has to stay up with it. I like the "carrot and stick" approach. The carrot is that you will help him. The stick is if he doesn't do what he says he will do, you will not help him. IMHO...It is alot of work, and it is very difficult for a 16-17 year old to do ALL of this on his own. At times, he is going to need help depending on his course load & activities (possibly) including Fall travel baseball, college visits, AP classes, drivers ED, SATS, ACTS, etc....I guess what I'm saying is if he has a legitimate reason, be supportive, provide guidance, and lend a hand when needed.

Good luck and feel free to PM me if you have specific questions.

First I agree with TPM - make sure it's something he wants to do and not you.

Second - what grade is he in?

My son is a 2012. He played at a PG showcase last Summer and for one of the Braves teams this past Fall. He did get some interest (besides the usual camp flyers). One D1 and a few D3 schools sent him personalized notes (including where he was seen). He was invited and went to Junior Day at VMI, so we have at least started the process.

He does have a heavy course load (several AP and one college course) plus baseball every day, but seems to find plenty of time to workout at the Y and watch TV so I'm not buying the "no time" excuse.

He is a bit of an introvert, so I think that is probably what we really need to get around. I practically had to drag him down to talk to a college coach last Fall and that was after the wife of one of the Braves coaches was nice enough to pave the way for the conversation.

I guess I should add that I have asked him several times "Is this really what you want to do?" because I understand the commitment and sacrifice it will take to be a student athlete. I did it at the D3 level. He says "yes" and then I tell him that we will give him all of the opportunities but he has to do his part.

Thanks for the help. I really appreciate it!

Sit down and talk with him about why he's reluctant to do this. If he goes with the whole "not enough time" then probe deeper without getting onto him. He's a junior in high school and he's at the age that he should be able to talk things instead of told things. But he's young enough to not really know how to do this. Lot of parents mess this up by treating him like an 11 year old and they shut up and keep you out.

Talk to him like an adult and be open minded enough to hear his answer if he says he doesn't want to play baseball at the next level. If he isn't then let him play baseball for the fun of it because it will be over soon. If he does play then you and he need to figure out what the obstacle is and work around it.

Maybe it's something easy like he doesn't want to play but afraid to tell you or he's just lazy which opens up a whole other topic in of itself. Or maybe it's more complicated like he doesn't feel like he's good enough to compete at that level.

To work this out it's going to talk level heads talking and not demanding.

VaRHPmom - You have a PM

Here is how we handled it. I was my son’s “manager” during the process. This is a multiyear program so you are going to have to help him get organized. Kids are busy in school, practice, studying, workouts and lets be real, they are 16YO’s. They can’t possibly fathom what events they should be at (or even know about) so you have to lay out the next couple of years on a calendar You have to develop your own “plan” and again you can not expect a kid to understand what is involved, at least at the beginning. That said they still have to own the process, so you have to find a way to help them along.

We would sit down and talk about colleges and what he was interested in doing, and I would help him generate his list of programs. We used different sources for information (US News, Princeton Review, etc) on the schools, for us the academics were more important than the baseball so we made up a list of schools that matched academically, and the merged this after our review of the baseball program. Again, you cannot expect a kid to do all of this on his own, this is beyond their comprehension.

Once we had the list of possible schools, we took the sample introduction letter from this website, and made up his own. I helped him draft up a profile, and his introduction letters, this was a back and forth process, and we both were involved. He would send them out from his email address and we would talk about how to respond to each coach that was back in contact with him. Early in the process we are talking about 30+ schools so this is a lot of work. It helps if you are a mailmerge expert! (again a kid needs help here were talking a lot of initial emails)

Like fenwaysouth indicated this is a major activity and you have to find a way to help him along. Being his “manager” is the best way I can describe it, over the past two years, with all of the back and forth he has literally sent out hundreds of emails, and you just can not expect him to do this all on his own. Good luck!

quote:

I will sit him down this evening and make everything clear. We believe that he should be taking the responsibility to do this himself but I have offered to help him short of actually doing all of the work. I even told him that we could breakdown the list and do about five colleges at a time. I would be happy if he just got something out this week.

That is all you can do. But at some point soon, he has to grab the bull by the horns whether he chooses to play baseball or not. You can't hold his hand for everything. He'll never survive college life if he relies on mom and dad for everything. Of course, parents have to be involved with the process because of the financials involved but the one going to school has to take the initiative.

When my son was a junior, we got the showcase invites, the opportunity to play on summer teams etc.. and I layed it out there what he would need to do if he were to pursue college baseball. Since he didn't act on it, I assumed he was going in a different direction and he did. However, he knew what school he wanted to go to, what he wanted to to etc.. and he did all the work on his part while we worked with him on the financial end of it. Sure we had to remind him of a few deadlines along the way and push him a bit but he handled everything he was supposed to and we took care of things on our end.

quote:

I'm not sure if it procrastination or something else that is keeping him from doing this as he is the one who told us this is what he wants.

You need to find out if it's really what he wants or is he doing it because you want him to and he's not 100% on board with it. Otherwise, all the help and time management in the world isn't gonna help him take care of the things he needs to do. What ever it is, he has to want it before he will take action on his own.

If it's only procrastiation, then he would need to be reminded senior year will come and go real fast and things need to start getting in motion for next year, now.

I agree with lots said here. College baseball is a huge commitment, so therefore I beleive that the committment should begin before they even attend.

That commitment is not leaving everything up to mom and dad.

If it is really something he wants to do, then sit down, make out a plan and help him.

Here are some suggestions. First get a notebook, and document what each step is the you have taken, when a letter was sent out, when a reply was received, when a questionaire was sent out. Later that might include if a phone call from any coach was made or came in. The contact letter to the coaches should be short and to the point, they will return a questionare most likely. Once you fill out the first questionaire they are all the same, so make a copy to have all of the info handy. If a lot of stuff at once overwhelms him, don't make such a big project out of it.

Keep it simple in your search, if he is an introvert, a big school may not be where he is comfortable, he might benefit from a smaller program. Make sure his program interests are in line with his talent, and his grades and degee as well. This can be determined by the PG showcase he went to last year as to what direction would be to begin.

Yes, they are busy and they do find the time to watch TV, play videos games, go out with friends, so this is a good experience for them in time management, something every player needs to learn when going to the next level.

Good luck, keep us posted.

This should emphasize the importance of making the effort. I was corresponding with another webster about a local senior who hasn't signed. He was one of the best pitchers in the top division in SoCal. He was especially good in big games. He's a tough as nails RHP with great pitchability and I hear good grades who I've seen work 85-87 and the other webster tells me has touched 89.

I don't know the details but his HS coach has a very, very poor record with getting kids into college spots and the kid may have not been all that active in pursuing his opportunities with colleges.

It helps to let the colleges know that you're interested. They've only got so many resources and they are more likely to spend them on kids they know are interested in their school.

Ever see a high school junior lock up when he needs a date for the prom?

A part of his reluctance to contact coaches may be fear of rejection rather than a lack of desire to play. If so, it may help to discuss fear and risk/reward with him.

You mention batches of 5 letters. I'm probably in the minority here, but it seems to me that you can send out 1000 letters, or you can send 10 well targeted letters. The results will be about the same. The 1000 letter (I hope that's a big exaggeration!) effort sounds pretty big and might be hard to get started on, while the 10 letter scenario requires a different kind of effort-- figuring out which colleges match the player's baseball ability, and which schools are a good overall fit. For most kids, there aren't many schools that fit both criteria.

You have some great advice here. As my friend who was at a very high level at IBM used to tell me. "Have a plan and work the plan"

I'm printing out all of these great ideas along with some of the recruiting articles from this website. We will be sitting down and going over our plan while eating pizza tonight.

I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow!

VaRHPMom..

I gotta say...I love your attitude about all this! I know all too well how frustrating it is to seemingly make THEM feel like this is something that THEY must do. It's really not for the parents to do (though we all have to some point).

You will find on this website time and time again where it is said that the coaches REALLY appreciate and almost expect to be in contact with the player, nto the parent. And these coaches are pretty saavy in that they can pretty much tell who wrote the letters, i.e. a 45yr old mom (administrative ***'t..lol) or a 17yr old teen (ball player).

This site on the home page has great suggestions for these intro letters which I'm sure you've seen. There's no telling how many players have gone on to college using them.

Maybe if you show him the "time line" from the front page he can see that it really is true that now more than ever he needs to be proactive getting his name out.

Good luck!

YGD

We spent several hours this evening getting his first letters put together (added some personal touches like if he attended a camp there), plus adding his bio and Summer schedule as attachments. He really resisted and was coming up with excuses when we were getting started but started getting more enthusiastic towards the end.

We are letting the letters sit for a night and will look them over one last time tomorrow before sending them out. We should have four introduction letters out tomorrow plus an update to the one coach that he has had regular contact with.

We'll probably tackle some more on Sunday after the District tournament is over and before the start of Regionals.

Thanks again!

(P.S. @YGD - I love the JoePa quote since my husband is a Penn State grad and my son has PSU on his list.)

Does your son have a respected friend who is currently playing college baseball; preferably one who learned during the recruiting process how valuable it was to assume responsibility for one's recruitment? If so, a conversation between the two of them could be helpful.

If that conversation occurs, one of the things your son will probably hear from his friend is that the combination of college baseball and the rigors of college life requires a level of dedication and effort that he's never encountered. In fact, it's probably not even close to anything he's experienced.

By implication, if he's reluctant to assume responsibility for his recruiting process, it's possible that he'll lack the necessary commitment to succeed at both baseball and the rest that college requires. In this way, the conversation with a friend could both inform him and prompt some beneficial introspection about his goals and his desires.

Best of luck to him!

Procrastination is not laziness and has little to do with lack of motivation. There are many reasons we procrastinate, the most typical being we are overwhelmed. Most kids procrastinate because they don't know where to begin, and are afraid of failing. Heck, most adults procrastinate for the same reasons.

I see you've gotten a good start. Success breeds success. Make sure you praise him for completing specific tasks, not just when he gets a call from a coach. The more he gets into it, the more comfortable he'll feel and the easier it will become.

VaRHPMom.

Email email email. Some will say that a letter works also, but we found the most efficient way was to email everything. We started doing both but quickly dropped the letters.

Here is a link to a googledocs spreadsheet with all of the Ivy's and most of the west coast schools that will give you an idea on how to put a list together. This list is a year old so there have been some changes but it is a starting point for you. (and anyone else who wants to use it)

https://spreadsheets.google.co...hmRnc&hl=en_US#gid=0

VaRHPMom,

Agree 100% with BOF. Email is best. All coaches that we met prefered email becasue they were on the recruiting road in the summer. More importantly, we got the best results from email.

Thank you. We will stick with e-mail.

What we are planning on sending is the introduction e-mail with two attachments. First is a one page bio (based on the one from this website) and second is a spreadsheet with his Summer schedule including showcase name, dates, location, and showcase website (if available).

@BOF - Great spreadsheet. Developing one definitely makes it easier to pull names and contact information.

vaRHP Mom:

My son is a 2012 RHP and I totally understand! Imagine if our kids were lefties--they generally have a screw loose! (My wife's a lefty, btw.)

It can be a tough time getting on the same page with your 17 year-old son. He's experiencing so many changes, adjustments and uncertainties in his life--changes in his body, the social scene, girls, peer pressure, SCHOOL, baseball, PARENTS (!), etc. If he's a little hesitant to jump into the deep end of the pool, who can blame him?!

But...I think the most important thing to realize is that same skills he needs to utilize (and develop!) now (reaching out, risking rejection, talking to adults, promoting himself, planning, being organized, etc.) and is being hesitant about, he'll need to utililze in 6 years when he graduates from college and is looking for work.

All I can add is that my father's only advice regarding parenting was the simple, "You can never tell your kids you love them too many times."

Maybe he doesn't know what to say. I know it took my dad forever to get me to start writing emails and what not. It's hard for a highschool kid to realize that and take it into consideration because as a kid like most of you know everything is about today. We keep pushing things back because it seems like it'll be so long until it'll actually mean anything. The fact of the matter is it's right around the corner and it's hard for a parent to get that across to their player. I'm pretty sure it's not a lack of desire because I wanted to play at the next level but wasn't so sure about all of the communicattion work. Once it gets going everything becomes easy after that.

Good points junior5. Sometimes, it's easy to forget what our mindset was as a teen because a lot has happened since then and has been a while. What we see as the obvious as experienced adults won't be as obvious to 17-18 yr olds

VaRHPmom,

Maybe a little encouragement would be helpful. My son was and to some extent still is a procrastinator. He does his best work under pressure. As a junior, we had a discussion about playing college baseball, was it what he wanted to do? "Yes, absolutely." was the answer.

I outlined how I thought he ought to go about it.
He was convinced that at the last hour, in the late signing period his high school coach was going to hook him up with a scholarship. "Ok, but just in case, let's send out a few other letters", I said.

Waiting for him to produce a letter worthy of sending out was like waiting for the Pittsburgh Pirates to have a winning season. It was never going to happen, not in at least seventeen years.

At the time, any one on one father to son talk was more like an interrogation so I opted for the "you know kid, you are killing me here, guilt trip letter." I laid it on his desk, no ultimatum, just explained how rotten I felt about the whole procrastination thing, how his mother, brother and sister had sacrificed so that he could have a special opportunity, how grandpa was proud of him, all about our family pride and name. Oh yeah, I laid it on thick. Then, I left it go. I never intended to acknowledge it again, ever.

He came to me and asked him to help him write a form letter he could adjust for several colleges on his list. I thought, well there is hope yet.

He did get a scholarship, meager as it was and he still is playing. Truth is, he will continue to play as long as he has the desire.

Now if he had never responded positively to my guilt letter, well.....then he never had the desire in the first place. And forcing it along with your shear will power is never going to work. There really is nothing harder than letting go of something you never had. And there is nothing more enjoyable than watching something turn from frustration to satisfaction. Only time reveals which it is. I know a mother who wore out several pairs of pants on her knees waiting to find out about me.

When he is contacted by a college coach - via email , letters , or phone calls to his coaches - does he respond? If so no problem. If not simply tell him he is not going to have to worry about playing at the next level because he will not have any opportunities to do so.

I remember working a camp at a local D1 a few years back. We were in the coaches lounge talking and the HC asked one of his assistant coaches if a player had responded to the email they had sent him. The assistant coach said no , not yet. The HC said "Don't send anything else. Mark him off the list. We don't have time to chase kids that can't take the time to respond to us."

Now if your son is a player that is having to contact programs and spark interest in him then it is totally up to him to do just that. And if he doesn't understand that unless he does it its not going to get done he soon will. Simply tell him unless he does it its not going to happen. He will either get going with what he needs to do or he will simply not be playing at the next level.

Sit him down and tell him either show the proper interest in taking responsibility for this and explain to him the ramifications for not.

This whole issue to me is the reason sites like getmynameout.com have become popular. They provide a simple platform to allow a player to communicate with a variety of college coaches with a minimum of effort. Now, I do not necessarily like the way that sounds...minimum of effort...but in reality it takes some effort to construct a website that contains the pertinent information and is updated with important data that recruiters seek.

Am I mistaken? Was there ever a time when HS Coaches made sure that their best players received scholarships? Has there been a transition away from this "once upon a time" state of affairs?

If a college coach e-mails a player and a player does not respond, then that player has crossed that program off their own list as far as I am concerned, I agree 100% with Coach May on this.

However, that does not appear to be the OP's issue. The issue is initiating contact with programs that the student and their families have targeted as suitable programs to further their players’ education and baseball opportunities.

I guess I am an enabler; I have coddled my son beyond what is culturally accepted. I have forced him to remain a child and not take responsibility for his future. I helped him with this aspect of the process. I can hear a collective gasp...

I pushed my son hard to do the things that only he could do. I pushed him to get good grades, and I pushed him to train, and train and train. And train some more. And I made sure he would eat, and supplement with protein shakes when he could eat no more. To focus his energy on his goal and refining his skills.

I, along with his mother helped to compile enough information, video and pictures to create a getmynameout.com website for him which allowed him to easily reach out to colleges that were of interest to him, and allowed those recruiters the ability to see him hit and take infield, and to see all his academic and athletic accomplishments including press coverage. We put everything we could put into this website, and it looked great when it was done, and it worked. My son received many responses from the introductory e-mails he sent out. When the questionnaires came in he completed them and sent them out, sometime I helped him with this. When the pro questionnaires came in , I used to assist him with those as well.

My son works hard at developing his skill sets and he works hard at his school work. He has played ball year round since he was 7 or 8 years old. He finished up his college season on Saturday, moved out of his apartment yesterday and heads up to the CPL on Friday for a summer of baseball playing every night.

That is a lot of dedication, I believe a baseball player that takes his sport and development seriously has very little downtime. And it is not an easy transition for some athletes to go from weight training to the cerebral task of writing letters. Answering letters directed to them is another thing, but initiating contact...? Some are better suited to this task than others.

Dare I say it again? I assisted my son with this aspect of the process. He got better at his game; I helped alert coaches that he existed. I have no regrets.

floridafan - you are not alone. I feel the same way.

My son did not need to learn some of the lessons some feel their kids need to learn here but that is a function of him and not my brilliant (sarcasim off) parenting skills. He was a self-motivated kid that never had to be told to do his homework or put more effort into baseball. Since I saw the complete effort from him academically and athletically, I thought it was natural for me to initiate the contact. Him and I are a complete team and we both trusted each other 100%. Neither one of us ever let the other one down. Him and me were stronger as a team rather than me coaxing it out of him and prodding him to do it.

So no one thinks I am puffing here, I have another son who I wish I could say the same things about. He barely graduated from high school so I believe some of these parental strategies depend on the kid. I can see where some kids need to take more resposibility for different aspects of things.

First four letters went out last night! We did get the process started by talking through what was keeping him from sending out the letters. I think "junior5" hit the nail on the head. My son wasn't sure what to say and when I started working with him, I realized that it was a much bigger deal than just telling him to write the letter. We discussed how to personalize each letter. Funny thing, we got hung up last night on what to put for the subject of the e-mail!

As far as responding to coaches, he has responded to the personal e-mails for schools that he is interested in but not usually the ones that were sending "please attend our camp". When you say respond to all contact, does that include the form e-mail "please attend our camp" contacts? I realize that some of these are just lists they got from some showcase and not really personal interest.

One thing that does bother me is that he did get an e-mail from a top 10 D3 program that wanted to establish contact; however, the e-mail came to me and I forwarded it to him but he didn't respond. It also included a camp invitation. This happened in November. It is one of the schools on his list and he will be sending a letter. Should he start with an apology for not replying sooner or just start fresh? I'm tending to go with the apology since this was still very early in the process for him and he wasn't sure what to do.

Thanks!

Thank you for the invitation to your camp. I will not be able to attend but I appreciate you taking the time to invite me. My High School season has gone well and I am looking forward to my summer season. I have attached a copy of my summer schedule with contact information for my coaches. Again thank you for inviting me and I look forward to hearing from you in the future.

You can use every single contact you get as an opportunity to contact them in return. Even if the invitation is a money maker event only and there is no real interest you have now taken it and turned it into an opportunity to let them know who you are and where you are playing. If there is true interest and they really wanted to see you at their camp they will appreciate the fact you took the time to email them back and let them know what your summer schedule is and give them contact information. Who knows maybe they pick up the phone and ask your summer coach "Hey what kind of player is he? What kind of young man is he? What about his parents, good folks or not? Do you think he can play for us? Etc etc etc

I have always believed that every email should be responded to even if its a school your son is not interested in. Maybe that coach ends up at a school your son is interested in. Maybe your son wants to transfer one day and this school is now a school he is interested in. Maybe its just the right thing to do?

I know some will disagree with me thats fine. But many get upset when an email sent to a coach is not responded to. I believe if you do things the way you would want them done in return things seem to work out for the better. Good luck

quote:

I have always believed that every email should be responded to even if its a school your son is not interested in. Maybe that coach ends up at a school your son is interested in. Maybe your son wants to transfer one day and this school is now a school he is interested in. Maybe its just the right thing to do?

Yes....for all of the above reasons. Especially if it's a program you aren't interested in now. It's funny how those coaches can affect your future and many times you won't even realize it. Not so funny if they get a bad read on your character. Today's networking is lightning fast.

Hi!
We went through similar experiences with both of our sons. I called it "college denial." This is a stressful time for young guys and they're definately dealing with a fear of the unknown. While they do need to tackle their responsibilities, they may also need a little support.

Small, achievable deadlines helped and I do remember pulling the car keys once, for motivaton. Hang in there and remember ...this, too, shall pass.

Well, we're right back where we started. He sent out nine letters and now complains about not getting to do "what he wants to do this Summer". He says he wants to play college ball (definitely not my words), but I've had it. I was willing to support and do whatever it took to help (short of writing the e-mails for him and answering coaches).

Maybe reality is finally sinking in as to the type of commitment this is going to take or maybe he is not willing to make a complete commitment. At this point, I'm just going to let him lead.

I did encourage him to talk to someone who went through this a couple of years ago and is playing D1. I even told him what this kid and his father told me about the amount of e-mails to send out but he doesn't seem to want to believe it.

If he really wants this, he will come around. If not, I would rather he figure that out now so he can start looking at the schools he wants to attend solely based on academics but for now, I'm done.

I have told him that he is responsible for informing me of his showcase playing schedule and letting me know where and when he needs to be someplace. I will drive him to showcases and I will videotape him when he asks.

I remember when I decided that I wanted to play tennis in college, I was the one managing my schedule and making sure I got to where I needed to be. That is the type of drive I expect to see in someone who is pursuing a goal.

So for now, just put me down as "frustrated in VA".

VaRHPMom - you can only do so much prodding and poking. At a certain point it has to come from him. I like the guilt letter idea as a last resort. If you don't get a response from that, I'd let it go. There reaches a point where it has to be "his" dream!

If he gets to the point where he is playing college ball, the commitment is beyond belief...

VaRHPMom,

I'm going to counsel patience.

Having raised a large family, I learned a lot of things that do NOT motivate teenagers: ultimatums, sarcasm, prodding and pestering, trying to induce anxiety about long-term consequences, guilt. I've tried them all at varying times and none turned an unmotivated teenager into a motivated teenager.

I've also learned a few other things:
--That parents get more anxious faster and with less cause than kids. About the only thing that drives me nuts more than a teenager saying, "Chill, Dad," is when events prove that chilling was in fact the proper response.

--The importance of remembering how exhausted I was when I played football in college. That helped me understand the mental state of the young man I was trying to motivate to write emails after he had just spent three hours in a gym and two hours practicing in the sun. If your son is doing what he should be doing on the field and in the weight room, he really might be too tired to cultivate new pen pals.

--That marketing efforts often do more to satisfy the parental instinct to "do something" than to increase the likelihood of playing at a particular school.

Your son has several things going for him. He's a pitcher, he plays for a very well respected travel organization, and he lives in a state with a comparatively high ratio of D1 baseball programs to population. If he's good enough to play D1, there's a good chance someone whose opinion counts will see him this summer and initiate meaningful contact.

As long as he is still taking his baseball and conditioning seriously, let the marketing ride for the next six or eight weeks and try to enjoy the first round of summer tournaments.

One of two things will happen. Either his play will attract the interest he hopes, or it won't.

If it doesn't, he will either respond by showing more commitment along the lines you want, or he will realize he doesn't want to be a college ballplayer as much as he thought he did.

Either way, keep telling him you love him and try to help him make the best decisions he can.

Best wishes.

VA Mom.

In the end it needs to be HIS dream not yours. If he does not understand and want to work for it then I would back off. I would just keep helping him in small ways, he will eventually "get it" (or not).

Don't get frustrated with him. You have told him what he needs to do. It may just be he needs a break from the pressure that something like this can bring to a kid his age. Give him some space on this issue and just see what his reaction is. Wait and see if he comes back to you and asks you some questions about it. Sometimes we can take a lack of interest in a certain aspect as a lack of interest altogether. That many times is not the case. He may be sick and tired of the marketing and the BS that goes along with it. Maybe he wants to enjoy his HS years and simply play ball without all the hoopla?

I know some things are important. But to him maybe whats important to you is not that important to him. You have told him what you want him to do and what you feel he needs to do. Give it a rest and see what his reaction is. See if he comes back to you in a few weeks and asks you some questions about it.

And if your son is a good kid and this is the biggest problem you have with him drop down on your knee's and thank God. Just my opinion.

Thank you for the help. I think Swampboy hit the nail on the head. My son is driven to be throwing 90mph by next Spring and has started hitting the Summer conditioning hard. So I know the work ethic is there. He just hates to write.

After our little blow up yesterday, he did come down and apologize saying that he was tired. Plus, he sent out a few more e-mails on his own and only asked for help when he realized that he had forgotten to change the college information and mistakenly sent it to another college (the coach responded asking him to reply if he was interested in their college). I told him it was no big deal and just reply saying he was embarrassed and yes he was interested.

I'm going to take Swampboy's advice and sit back to enjoy the ride because we do have a very busy Summer ahead. He generated some interest from a couple of D1's last Fall and he has improved tremendously, so I'm sure he will hear from some more.

Thanks again. You all are great!

Thank you to everyone who helped me through this. I think we are finally in the home stretch. My son toured a school on Saturday and partway through the tour he turned to me and said "I really want to go here." Now comes the funny part...

The coach saw him pitch at the first "showcase" (two travel organizations working out together) of the season. After all of the worrying, e-mailing, sending of schedules, and following up with other coaches, it turned out that he was seen and the other stuff didn't really matter.

The best part is that this seems to be a very good fit for him. Strong D3 baseball program, great coach (from what I see on these message boards), small student population, and great academics. My son said that he would take this over another school that initially showed interest (D1).

I guess the biggest lesson from all of this is that we just needed to let my son take the lead. (And it is a huge relief when it's over.) Now we just have to get through the admissions and financial aid process.