Son says I will have to cut the cord

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What to do?

Listen to your son. He gives good advice!

Kids aren't the only ones that need to learn restraint. Time to let junior start cutting his own swath through life. It teaches us how to communicate on a whole new level. It's a good thing.

I still remember the day I learned I could not give 2B a hug and a kiss on the field.

I am also not allowed to talk to son when teammates are present. (Although his teammates are always very nice and say hi to me!) I really should make him do his own laundry...

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Originally posted by justbaseball:

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What to do?

Listen to your son. He gives good advice!

I hate when justbb steals my thoughts

Seriously, remember Christmas when you were a kid? Did your parents let you watch them buy the gifts and wrap them? Remember how exciting it was when you finally got to open the gifts?

Speaking from experience, I cannot tell you how exciting it will be for you when you get to the game and see him in his freshman or other uniform for the first time

Mine was a life-long infielder. He went to the biggest of big public schools and a tremendous number of kids (over 100) tried out for the freshman team. Several traveling teams fed into the tryouts for this team. There were rumors flying that some of the travel coach Dad's were trying to "prep" the coaches on who the good players were. I heard this, swallowed my Adams-apple and made a vow right there to myself that I was not going to be influenced by talk and I was going to stay out of it.

It was all going to be up to my son to make it on his own. A day before the season began he told me that he was not sure if he cracked the starting lineup. The day of the first game was rained out and this started a pattern that has been an integral part of my son's career - luck. That's right, how many parents would admit their kids are lucky?

He was not penciled in the lineup the day when the game was rained out. As "luck" would have it, the weather got nice in the afternoon and the coach scheduled an impromptu scrimmage. According to him, he crushed a double in practice that day and he said he could tell that it turned the coach's head.

The next day, I rushed home from work from downtown Cleveland to the eastern suburbs and arrived at the game as our team was taking their warm-ups in the first inning. I looked in the infield but I did not see him. It took a minute but there he was as the starting centerfielder. I was surprised but happy to see him in the starting lineup. People were asking me if I was upset he was not in the infield and my only response was - are you kidding? I was just excited he is in the lineup as I knew that one day before he was not.

Thank you God for making it rain that spring day so many years ago - so the flowers could grow and then later for the sun so my "son" could grow. It indeed was Christmas in the spring time

I still remeber the day my son told me I really shouldn't announce his pitch count to his coach through the fence during a game.

#22's dad the world won't end if you don't get to see your son at practice (ok after rereading this it's coming across much more harsh than I want it to). Imagine the bonding sessions you and your young adult son will have when he comes to you for advice when he's struggling rather than you sitting in the OF watching and you bring it up to him. Teens are rebellious by nature and if you're watching him and approaching him he's going to resist but if you stay away I almost guarantee he will come to you for help.

CD - I've read that story about your son several times over the years and still enjoy it every time. That is what sports is all about in terms of grinding it out and working for your spot. Realizing being in the lineup out of position is better than being the backup at your primary position.

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Originally posted by coach2709:
CD - I've read that story about your son several times over the years and still enjoy it every time. That is what sports is all about in terms of grinding it out and working for your spot. Realizing being in the lineup out of position is better than being the backup at your primary position.

Thanks Coach! I have probably told the story a dozen times over the years here Hopefully longtime members will forgive me

At the end of the day, I only have my own experiences to share and obviously I can't resist sometimes

Take up a hobby. It was hard for me at first as well but now it makes the moments I get to see him play even more special.

Yeah I will definitely lay off a bit, but I get to pick him up after practice... maybe sneak a few peaks from afar. He isn't driving yet!!

I'm still adjusting but he never actually told me not to go practice. I just went to pick him up early one day and noticed no parents were there. Now I don't even talk about practice unless he brings it up. I have to admit it's been less stressful.

CD. That's a great story of hope for those of us who are still waiting for that lucky day for our son's. Just maybe someday I'll be able to tell his story over and over again.

My son said he knew he was going to be a good HS baseball player when the seniors first offered to drive him home from practice. He said it was the best feeling in the world. Still remember - little underclass rightyshortstop stuffed in the back of some dumpy car and driving right past me in the parking lot -big smile on his face! "I'm a player now" Stay home dad, he'll call you if he needs you. Its more fun to listen to the crazy stories at home than to watch the insanity anyway.

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"I still remember the day I learned I could not give 2B a hug and a kiss on the field."

I had a similar experience...a day I certainly will never forget!

All of the other dads never quite treated me the same after that game. They took a vote and elected me "Official Foul Ball Retriever".

I've never been to any other ballpark where so many foul balls were hit. I think the kids were hitting them back behind the screen on purpose. Lots of poison ivy back there under the trees. It's not all bad. I got a lot of exercise and a cool new nickname..."Creature from the Calamine Lagoon".

I have to admit that I thought it was a bit too much when the coaches, during warm-ups, set the pitching machine up to lob balls over the crowns of the oak trees along the right field foul line. On all of those I had to scramble over a chainlink fence. You'd think I would have gotten the hang of it and it would get easier after a dozen or so...I didn't and it doesn't.

Next time I'm allowed to visit that field I'm bringing bolt cutters.




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When my guy was 12 and in his final LL year he asked me not to "officially" coach him anymore---he told me he wanted to find out for himself how good he really was without me being involved

No Problem--told him go for it amd he did

When in HS he never rode home with me after games--came home with team mates until he drove--

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Originally posted by 2Bmom:
I still remember the day I learned I could not give 2B a hug and a kiss on the field.

When that happened to Mrs. wragg, she said "BS!! You're only 10, buddy. The public hugs and kisses will continue at least until high school" But then the select-ball Mommy peer pressure kicked in the next season, and she decided to quit on her own.

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Originally posted by LHPMom2012:
...I really should make him do his own laundry...

So should Mrs. wragg. In fact, she needs to quit letting him take his uniform off in the kitchen and just walking away from it. Woman lets him do anything he wants when he's wearing a BB uni. And get's away with murder after a good game.

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So should Mrs. wragg. In fact, she needs to quit letting him take his uniform off in the kitchen and just walking away from it. Woman lets him do anything he wants when he's wearing a BB uni. And get's away with murder after a good game.

2Bdad would probably say the same thing. Gotta love a young man in a sharp unie.

Kids hit an age when they don't want you at practice or too close to the dugout after games. They're carving out their turf. If I arrived at the end of high school practice too early and watched from a visible spot I got the laser eyes from both of them. Then they get licenses and cars and don't even drive home from games with you.

Back in 8th grade I arrived to watch the last fifteen minutes of middle school practice. My son wasn't there. The coach told me he was practicing with the varsity. I so badly wanted to see how he held up. I held off because I didn't want the older kids to tease him "daddy is watching." He caught a ride home with a varsity player. He wasn't turning that down. Too cool. He called my cell to tell me he had a ride even though he knew I was waiting at the middle school.

Your son got it right...

My kid didn't want me hanging around HS baseball tryouts and practices. Knowing my son as well as I do, it was never said. we both knew and I never mentioned it. However, one saturday in his freshman year, I was home and he had a morning practice and I was curious to see how he'd react so mentioned I might stop by and watch a little and he said "nah, don't bother, we're not doing much anyway". That was his nice way of telling me don't come.

Getting there about 15 minutes before the end of practice was ok because that was when all the parents showed up who had to pick up their kids and waited in the car. Once they got rides from teammates or driving themselves, then the only time they expected to see you was at a game if you could get there in time after work or an off day when you could watch the whole game.

Definitely by the 9th grade, it's time to cut the cord.

I used to feel sorry for the other dads I saw at practice everyday. They really needed to get a life.

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Originally posted by Dad04:
I used to feel sorry for the other dads I saw at practice everyday. They really needed to get a life.

That's funny

I like living in the free country we do. If people think they would like to be at practice then by all means be there imho. My style was to attend the games only and that came with its own unique blessings. When your son has been working out all spring and fall and you have not seen them practice, you will really be able to appreciate the improvement much better and it is thus more satisfying that way imho. To each his own however.

I wish I could watch every practice. But I can't because of my job and the team rules. No parents at practices or tryouts.

But if it was up to my son, he would want me there. Along with my wife, his sisters, his grand parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, scouts, students, random strangers...

Let's just say he likes to be the center of attention. The more the better.

Just tell him "I understand kid, don't sweat it." Don't forget to give him the I understand look too! The more non chalant (<--check that spelling) you are about it, the more he is going to think his dad is cool (IMO). Just make sure you put him in his place when he thinks you are too cool and won't lay the law. It's a fine line. Walk it like a champ. Let the kid follow your example. Good Luck and make sure not to miss the important games.

I think it's great if a kid wants to spread his wings and doesn't want dad hanging around. In reality, some "spot watching" where one doesn't get noticed doesn't hurt anyone. You don't have to sit in the front row of the grandstands behind home plate.

Is it just me, or does the "team rules prohibit parents from observing" strike you as odd? It seems like these are the same coaches who are running kids out there throwing 150+ pitches in March. A coach who doesn't want anyone knowing what he's doing would concern me a little. What's he doing that he's so insecure about. Just watching a little news about some of the horror stories out there make me feel uncomfortable with such a mandate...

I don't know that there's a correlation between the "no parents watching" and coaches who over-use kids, etc.

I know, when my son was in HS, it was more an unstated "rule" that Dad's hanging out at practice was a no-no. One or 2 couldn't break themselves of the habit (spawned from being LL coaches, no doubt..lol) but the coach demanded 110% focus of all his players--no eye contact with Dad hanging on the fence,etc. And he was a big believer in communicating with the kids first, too...NOT the parents.

And a pretty good program in VA, if I may say--a state title and a few regional ones as well.

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Is it just me, or does the "team rules prohibit parents from observing" strike you as odd? It seems like these are the same coaches who are running kids out there throwing 150+ pitches in March. A coach who doesn't want anyone knowing what he's doing would concern me a little. What's he doing that he's so insecure about.

My daughter's softball team had this rule a few years ago. The tee'd off mothers of a couple of 14U studdettes couldn't grasp their darling daughters didn't make varsity as freshmen. The team had eight 18U players and one 16U player in the lineup plus they were two time defending conference champions. The mothers were filming practices and running to the AD or anyone who would listen with complaints on roster selection.

The coach then threatened to cut any player whose parent stepped out of the parking lot. The team won another conference title and went to states without the two studdettes. Both transferred to privates. The team won a fourth consecutive conference title and went to states without them again.

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spawned from being LL coaches, no doubt..lol

We have The Jury on our sidelines. It's former rec coaches second guessing every move the coach makes. The coach played college and pro ball. But these dads think they know more. You'll find me down the rightfield line watching quietly.

Funny, 2B says doesn't mind at all if I watch practice. But when he was the only one on varsity not driving (and also whose voice hadn't yet changed - so cute to listen to him yell Two! Two! with his little boy voice) I did wait out in the car. But honestly I could watch infield-outfield all day long. Love it.

Now that he drives, I go to the gym after work and don't watch practice. But a couple of months ago, a colleague on my hall died. She had a heart attack that morning while getting ready for work. That afternoon, I skipped the gym and went to watch practice. It was just what I needed.

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The mothers were filming practices and running to the AD

Some people spoil it for everyone else...

I hang out at practice when I can. I like it. I don't interact too much with anyone on the field. I guess I'm doing it right since after two weeks the new assistant coach came up to me and asked me which kid was mine...

The problem here is that a lot of parents can't just watch. They need to interact and that is where the problems start...

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The problem here is that a lot of parents can't just watch. They need to interact and that is where the problems start...

BINGO...speak when you're spoken to only and no coach worth his salt would ever mind that.

Am I the only one that works these days? I have a hard enough time getting to games on time let alone getting to the school to watch practice. Before he drove I picked him up outside the locker room after he changed.

Since he's been in HS it has never crossed my mind to go watch a school practice. Even in middle school I only stopped at one practice when he was in the 6th grade to see my boy playing with the big 8th graders.

I only pretend to work. But I'm lucky - 2B's field is adjacent to the UF campus - about 10 minutes from my office.

I never go to practice either. I save my time away from work for games. But, if I was retired or had the luxury, I would enjoy watching practice from a distance.

Here is a story a little off topic but ironically different than what I posted above...

I know I never attended one practice from 9th grade on as I posted above. I might have attended a scrimmage here or there but I can probably count those on two or three fingers.

After he got in college however and we started seeing him much less, then it became a huge deal with me to watch them practice and he appreciated that. I would get to the college games hours before they started so I could watch every detail. I loved watching batting practice and still do now that he is in the pros. The pro ballparks we visited last year were kind enough to let me in the park hours before the gates opened so I could watch. For me, it has come full circle. When he lived at home and I saw him all the time, I was content to just show up at the games. Now when I don't see him all that often, watching pre-game or other practices are a can't-miss activity for me - and my son loves it that way. Ironic how it has worked out that way.

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After he got in college however and we started seeing him much less, then it became a huge deal with me to watch them practice and he appreciated that. I would get to the college games hours before they started so I could watch every detail. I loved watching batting practice and still do now that he is in the pros. The pro ballparks we visited last year were kind enough to let me in the park hours before the gates opened so I could watch. For me, it has come full circle.

Oh this is so my husband.We have to get to the games 3 hours before and watch batting practice and etc.I like the games but not so many hours before.

The one good thing to all the parents who have high school players.When they get to college , they look forward to seeing you, so all the boys come out and give their parents hugs and hellos.Of course many times they are hoping that you will take them to dinner.Esp. on road trips, then they can pocket their food money.LOL

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After he got in college however and we started seeing him much less, then it became a huge deal with me to watch them practice and he appreciated that. I would get to the college games hours before they started so I could watch every detail. I loved watching batting practice and still do now that he is in the pros. The pro ballparks we visited last year were kind enough to let me in the park hours before the gates opened so I could watch. For me, it has come full circle. When he lived at home and I saw him all the time, I was content to just show up at the games. Now when I don't see him all that often, watching pre-game or other practices are a can't-miss activity for me - and my son loves it that way. Ironic how it has worked out that way.

Sounds like Dad loves it too. Good stuff. You can be around things without hovering over kiddo. And just because you're there, doesn't mean you have to strike up a conversation with other players or the coaches. Just sit back and enjoy your son's success!

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Originally posted by fanofgame:
Oh this is so my husband.We have to get to the games 3 hours before and watch batting practice and etc.I like the games but not so many hours before.

My wife is the same way. I always have her and my daughter drop me off and then they show up at gametime. They like to shop and I like to be by myself and watch

I never missed a practice or a game in BB or Basketball. I must be lucky as all my kids wanted me there.

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I really should make him do his own laundry...

I think you should too. It will do him a world of good.