Ken,
First off your decision is a loss in the baseball community ......
second, I wish you and your wife much luck building your dream home (what an experience that is) and much joy, happiness and most of all patience with starting a family it will be the most rewarding and most humbling thing you and your wife will be part of.
After reading your post on the showcase issues and some player's needs to satisfy their egos it hit me that what you speak is truth in the fact that when a team, such as yours, can attract the talent it does then exposure is gtd and the need to choose individual exposure over a team committment should be something that is taken very seriously and thoughtout to great extent before committments are made and teams suffer. Bottom line, as said before, committments, goals, team requirements must be laid out prior to the season's start by both the coach and player and hopefully by the season's end these committments have been upheld by both......and both the team and the individuals receive the exposure and success they desire.
Like it has been said on the board many times this year it seems to be a sign of the times, but guess what it isn't limited to sports/baseball, I see it daily in other areas. The resume fillers and the need to have one's son/daughter in every AP/Leap class that is offered, the need to have one's son/daughter asked to be in every high profile club/organization offered, the need to attend every social event to secure popularity, the need to go to every camp/clinic/trip offered by the school/church/sporting venue. It is all about what the parent's can provide and what the child has been "awarded" with. What are we/they trying to make up for?
When I was a youngster, mannnnnny moons ago, the goal was to get a degree and that would set you apart when it came time to get a job and hopefully the brass ring was if that job came with a business card and expense account. The next goal was to get a "cool" car, some toys and then to buy your first house/condo those were successes and resume fillers. Then it was taking great vacations, more toys, having 2.5 kids and so on. But, these accomplishments didn't come while our parents were in control they were things that didn't occur until we were out of our homes, on our own and making a name for ourselves. Prior to that our parents were there to make sure we attended school, they worked hard to make sure we could get an education and sometimes they were there to cheer us on from the stands.
This need today to push these kids and be the "involved" parent starts as young as pre/pre school age. It started lonnnnnnng before you got them as a coach. Getting into the best mother's day out group, gymnastics/karate/art classes before they even enter kindergarten. It starts with the parents and then by the time you get this kids as a coach the kids are used to having it all, the best equipment/lessons/uniforms because mom and dad have made sure of it because we all know it is the newest/best bat that creates the best hitter
. The kids usually are not the ones asking for and wanting it all because they really don't have the capability of knowing what they want it is still driven by the parents needs.
Now instead or getting little johnny invited to the best parties it is to the best and every tournament/showcases/camp/high profile team. The parents are still in the drivers seat trying to secure it all.............it is our generations way of getting the brass ring, it can be paid for, it can be manipulated for it can be argued for and in the end sometimes it can be earned. Of course we all know that it is much better if/when it is earned, and by the player not by the parent, but that is lost in all the "have to haves".
Maybe it is fear and the parents are trying to make sure that
they are providing the "successes" now in anticipation of future uncertainties. Every generation had it's problems and successes but it seems the generation of us parents with teens had a golden time in our early careers and some still do. But our generation had a major hickup midway through and it was economic instability, career stability is unknown (you age you are out, there is no loyalty-job hoping) so it is unstable and the parents are trying to create this happy/happy success story with their children and in the end the coaches and the teachers are witness to this parental push and the sons/daughters are pawns to the parental driven chess game.
We have worked hard, been stressed out and our kids are our pride and joy and sometimes our own insecurities in child rearing, in dealing with stress and corporate success/stability has trickled down into the manipulation of our kids futures. I am not speaking for all as this is just an observation after many years of being a parent, a coach, a manager, working in a school. I hope that the next generation becomes less pushy with their kids and future coaches will be in the drivers seat with parents as the spectators loving and enjoying the game.
It truly is an amazing thing to know you have earned something on your own. That the trophy in your room isn't just another one of a 100 but it is something special, that your parents love and support you no matter what and that your coach believes in every player on the team and the coaches goal year in and year out is to develope each and every player to their potential. That is the measure of success.
Parenting is the hardest thing in the world, full of joy/disappointment/stress/emotion and hopefully in the end we haven't done too much damage along the way.
Congrats again to the Heat as this post started with that topic, Good Luck to Ken and his wife in this new stage and to all much success this upcoming 2005-2006 season.
Sorry for the soapbox.