Vindictive HS coaches

quote:

Originally posted by baseballdad91:
Have any of you had the experience of angering the coach, who then subsequently relegates your kid to a very part time player, so he can't play? My son has a .700 batting average and .824 slugging percentage in his very limited play, 11 at bats. He switch hits and is the only player on the team who can hit home runs over the fences. He is one of the two best overall players on the team, but the coach won't allow him to play more that an occasional inning or two. He will never even have an opportunity to compete for a scholarship by being a bit player. The coach has effectively ruined his chance of playing college baseball. Any suggestions on how to handle?

Oh boy, here we go. Please explain exactly what you did to anger the coach.

Baseballdad91,

Welcome to the HSBBW.
So this is your very first post.

Have you been reading on here for very long?

quote:

Have any of you had the experience of angering the coach, who then subsequently relegates your kid to a very part time player, so he can't play? ..... Any suggestions on how to handle?

Shut up and get out of the way. You'll be surprised what happens if your son is as good as you say and you stay out of his baseball experience.

Last year, he was a freshman, and was not getting playing time. I met with the HS head coach of the program and expressed displeasure that he was not being allowed to play even though he was a much better player than many other starters. I also expressed some dismay that they actually played him a few innings at third base (he is a lefty) and had never played 3rd before. His natural and best position is 1st base, but they played a fat, slow, weak hitting player at 1st because "that's the only place we can put him."

I haven't said a word since last year in March. He has been blacklisted.

Here's my observation.
This is your first day posting here on the HSBBW and you have managed to insult coaches not once but twice.
I'd like to kindly suggest to you that you read a little more and educate yourself with what this site is actually intended for.
Its not a gossip network or a bashing network,..its a baseball community that is here to help.

In two posts I have heard you give multiple reasons as to why you think your son isnt playing, even though YOU think he's the best player on the team:

1.) You made the coach mad last year
2.) Your son has been black listed
3.) The coach is paying your son back

How bout' you tell us how and what your SON is doing to better himself? Then perhaps more of the HSBBWers can help you to help your son and the situation he is in.

I'm curious, you dont happen to have a friend named themez, do you?

First off, I am not trying "bash" anyone, simply describe the situation. I was hoping to get some insightful ideas. Secondly, a .700 BA and .824 slugging percentage speaks for itself.

He is a two sport athlete who works out, stays in shape, knocks the **** out of the ball, and just tries to earn playing time. He has tried to talk to the coach several times over the last two weeks, but the coach doesn't have time to talk with him. What else would you suggest?

quote:

Originally posted by baseballdad91:
Last year, he was a freshman, and was not getting playing time. I met with the HS head coach of the program and expressed displeasure that he was not being allowed to play even though he was a much better player than many other starters.

Exactly how did you express your "displeasure?" Who made the determination that your son is a better player than the big fat kid at first? Just curious.

quote:

What else would you suggest?

A new attitude. The stats do not speak for themselves btw.

Look, I believe with your attitude you may have poisoned your son's chances. Not only do you complain when he is not in the lineup, you complain when he is playing but not playing his ideal position. It wouldn't surprise me at all if they have black-listed him. I would lose "the world is against me" and try and teach him how to be a team player - that just might be the key to open things up.

I agree with shortstopmom - if you are trying to stir the pot here by getting in our coaches faces, this may not be the best place for you to hang out.

I guess people are people and it is not that absurd to think that a coach may do this if a parent angered him enough. I would suggest finding your son a top travel/summer program. You posted that this coach has ruined your son's chances of competing for a scholarship - If your son is a good as you say, he will get more exposure from a select team then he would from his HS team.

quote:

Originally posted by Konsole:
I guess people are people and it is not that absurd to think that a coach may do this if a parent angered him enough. I would suggest finding your son a top travel/summer program. You posted that this coach has ruined your son's chances of competing for a scholarship - If your son is a good as you say, he will get more exposure from a select team then he would from his HS team.

If he is as good as dad thinks, he will have no problem getting a scholarship or getting drafted. I'm just wondering why that coach wouldn't want such a talented player in the starting varsity lineup.

It has been my misfortune to have a really hard "gut check" this year when my son did not make the freshman team. I asked for and got some really good advise on this forum. My advise is, try to handle this with some dignity and class. At least your son made the team. At this point and this age, it is completely up to him to make his own way from here. You've done all you could do and maybe too much. Let the rest be up to him. If he is unhappy on the team he is doing himself an injustice by staying with the team. Not to mention the kid who didn't make it at all who would love to be in his shoes. Find a really good tournament travel team and let him show his stuff there. There is more than one way to skin a cat you know. I learned through my experience that your kid will get a better look on a good travel team than he ever will on the high school team.

I hope this helps your son.

WOW the only solution might be Summer Ball. I have found it a good policy to NEVER talk to a HS coach about playing time or positions AT ALL. I have seen a lot of freshmen parents make that mistake. It usually doesn't turn out good.

Wow, folks. Can we get back to bbd91's question for a moment, and not try to scare him away with our righteousness?

Maybe the dad is a demanding jerk. Maybe the coach is a petty jerk. We don't really know. But the question is about how to handle what is happening now.

My advice, FWIW, tell the kid to enjoy being part of the hs team, however insignificant the pt may be, and work on getting himself onto a good summer team. If dad stays out of the way, and son is a talented player and a good teammate, maybe pt will increase this season or next. But summer ball can't be overlooked for opportunities to shine. I don't think that the coach has, at this point, "ruined his chance of playing college baseball."

Those are hefty batting and slugging averages. If he can hold his weight on defense then he should be given a chance. Or is that the problem, his fielding stinks or something like that. We need the whole story, NOT just his batting average, slugging % and a handful of insults to the coach, the 1st baseman, & others. We will try to help but work with us here and give us more info on his OVERALL capability and attitude.

Not getting playing time on your HS team does not mean college chances are ruined. There are quite a few high schools out there that does not even have high school baseball. Summer baseball is the answer.

Baseballdad91:

I am going to try to sincerely and genuinely help...but here's the million dollar question:

Prior to your talking to the coaches about playing time and positioning why was he not playing?? IN other words, what are the root causes to your dilemma?

See your son wasn't playing BEFORE you talked to the coaches...that leads me to believe he isn't playing for another reason.

I believe you, but honestly have a hard time believing that kid with the numbers you've given isn't playing except for some other erason.

Be BRUTALLY honest with yourself...you know the real reason, what is it? Is he out of shape, foul mouthed and disrespectful? There's something there....it may not even be a negative personality trait... but there's something more to the story.

quote:

Originally posted by emeraldvlly:
Wow, folks. Can we get back to bbd91's question for a moment, and not try to scare him away with our righteousness?

Maybe the dad is a demanding jerk. Maybe the coach is a petty jerk. We don't really know. But the question is about how to handle what is happening now.

You are correct, we don't really know. Just remember, there are two sides to every argument. We are hearing only dad's side (with very little information), and I suspect there is more to it than what dad says. That's why I asked him exactly what happened. Just curious...

If your sincere desire is to get what's best for your son...

I would have the son email the coach and request an appointment for when they could meet. Having tough conversations with a coach is best done far away from the practice/game field, in an office.

Counsel your son on how to comport himself and maybe even coach him on how to ask the questions he wants answered. Have him ask the coach what he needs to do to become the kind of player the coach plays regularly.

Take yourself out of the equation and let your son deal with it, then come back after a period of time and let us know how it worked out.

quote:

Originally posted by Estone28:
Baseballdad91:Be BRUTALLY honest with yourself...you know the real reason, what is it? Is he out of shape, foul mouthed and disrespectful? There's something there....it may not even be a negative personality trait... but there's something more to the story.

There usually is something more to the story, but it's easy to claim "vindictive coach," especially when the coach is not here to defend himself.

Very well put.

quote:

Originally posted by Estone28:
Baseballdad91:

I am going to try to sincerely and genuinely help...but here's the million dollar question:

Prior to your talking to the coaches about playing time and positioning why was he not playing?? IN other words, what are the root causes to your dilemma?

See your son wasn't playing BEFORE you talked to the coaches...that leads me to believe he isn't playing for another reason.

I believe you, but honestly have a hard time believing that kid with the numbers you've given isn't playing except for some other erason.

Be BRUTALLY honest with yourself...you know the real reason, what is it? Is he out of shape, foul mouthed and disrespectful? There's something there....it may not even be a negative personality trait... but there's something more to the story.

quote:

My son has a .700 batting average and .824 slugging percentage in his very limited play, 11 at bats.

This is a made up post with made up numbers. It's not possible to hit .700 or slug .824 in 11 at-bats.

Attitude is a close second to ability regarding playing time in most coaches "vindictive" minds.

Actions speak louder than words.

Read between the lines.

Lots of possible factors:

* Son is a sophomore and coach gives preference to upper-classmen
* Son does not field/throw/run well
* Son does not have good game instincts or makes boneheaded moves (baserunning errors, etc.)
* Dad's complaints have put a bad taste in coach's mouth and he is not in the mood to reward negativity
* Son has a bad attitude/is cocky/doesn't work hard in practice
* Over the course of the year -- or the season -- son's hitting has not been that spectacular during practices. Perhaps he is on a hot streak and his BA is a fluke

I would bet that the stats are Daddy's stats---they are usually akin to Daddt's radar gun readings---INFLATED

Any kid hitting like that is not sitting on the bench even if the coach detests the kid and his family

quote:

Originally posted by RJM:

quote:

My son has a .700 batting average and .824 slugging percentage in his very limited play, 11 at bats.

This is a made up post with made up numbers. It's not possible to hit .700 or slug .824 in 11 at-bats.

Yeah huh!!! He's so awesome he got 7.7 hits!

Thanks for the post, switchitter. They are hefty averages, but that is not the only story. He has played every single position on the field. He is a fairly good (with some control problems) left handed pitcher. His fielding is excellent. He has very quick reflexes and is a fast, smart baserunner. He is a complete player and a switch hitter, more power left, better contact hitting right.

KnightTime, I appreciate helpful comments or constructive criticism, but not the sniping. No, my son is not out of shape. He is a sophomore, 5'10, 145 lbs, second year Varsity wrestler, runs a quick 40, has consistently been a team leader for the last 7-8 years in BA, RBI's, Slugging %, stolen bases, runs scored and usually posts a high OBA. Very few strikeouts.

I upset the coach, obviously. I am not trying to bash them, but it does seem like they are punishing him and I was hoping that maybe I could get some constructive help for him. He is passionate about the game, but his spirit is getting broken down by seeing players batting .200-.250 playing while he watches. If you can't contribute anything useful, please don't reply. I know I made a mistake and want to help make it better.

bbd91

Who kept those stats?

[/QUOTE]It's not possible to hit .700 or slug .824 in 11 at-bats.[/QUOTE]

RJM, you are right, you can't do it in 11 at bats. I was wrong, ten a/b's, and my slugging percentage was off.

4 doubles, 3 singles in 10 a/b's
That's (4x2)+(3x1)/AB = (11)/10 = 1.10 slugging percentage. I stand corrected.

Good post Dizzy, wasn't playing beforre an not know.

I go with RJM also, someone is just playing with y'all just to keep you busy.

Remember themez?

quote:

Originally posted by TPM:
Good post Dizzy, wasn't playing beforre an not know.

I go with RJM also, someone is just playing with y'all just to keep you busy.

Remember themez?

Good catch RJM, you can play center field on my team anytime.

Please we need more threads about coaches that hinder kids advancement in the game. We need more threads about bad coaches. We just have not had enough of them in the last couple of months.

quote:

He has played every single position on the field. He is a fairly good (with some control problems) left handed pitcher.

A lefty pitcher who has played every position on the field. OK I surrender. Pull here ......

quote:

Originally posted by baseballdad91:
Thanks for the post, switchitter. They are hefty averages, but that is not the only story. He has played every single position on the field. He is a fairly good (with some control problems) left handed pitcher. His fielding is excellent. He has very quick reflexes and is a fast, smart baserunner. He is a complete player and a switch hitter, more power left, better contact hitting right.

Oh now - don't be modest. Tell us the whole story about how he can walk on water.

quote:

Originally posted by baseballdad91:
First off, I am not trying "bash" anyone, simply describe the situation. I was hoping to get some insightful ideas. Secondly, a .700 BA and .824 slugging percentage speaks for itself.

He is a two sport athlete who works out, stays in shape, knocks the **** out of the ball, and just tries to earn playing time. He has tried to talk to the coach several times over the last two weeks, but the coach doesn't have time to talk with him. What else would you suggest?

Transfer now! Find a good travel ball team for your Son and stay away from the Coaches from this point on! If he is as good as you say, take him to some showcases and see what kind of evaluations he gets. He can get scholarship offers from those too. Good luck.

Somehow these superstars never seem to play well when I'm watching, if it weren't for moms and dads I wouldn't have had a clue as to how good they REALLY are.

Baseballdad91,

Some posters have given you their best advice with what few pieces you have given them.
Others of us think that there are too many holes in your story for us to make any sense of it.
Some question your son's stats.
Some question as to WHY your son wasnt playing in the first place.

You said yourself:

quote:

Last year, he was a freshman, and was not getting playing time. I met with the HS head coach of the program and expressed displeasure that he was not being allowed to play even though he was a much better player than many other starters.

Go back to the very beginning and re-think the way you told us things happened.
If your son wasn't playing last year, then HOW did he build up all those stats???????

Now your son, a sophomore, is still not getting playing time again this year, and yet you are suprised & blaming yourself.
That doesnt make alot of sense to me, or perhaps I'm just not completely understanding.

Lots of variables to what a coach looks for.
Attitude being a big one, grades, actions off the field, coach-ablity, work ethic, sportsmanship, team-work, hustle, etc. etc.
So instead of thinking your son is the best, perhaps you and your son should start looking in these areas as ways where he can improve.
Making excuses or placing blame on yourself or the coach isnt going to fix anything. Matter of fact, will probably only dig you in deeper.

Have your son get pro-active.

You said:

quote:

I know I made a mistake and want to help make it better.

Have your son talk to his coach and have him ask the coach what he needs to work on.

Dad, I'm afraid you cant fix this one.
Reality is harsh sometimes and this is something you probably werent looking for or wanting to hear.
Not going to pull any punches,..its the best advice I've got.
Instead of looking at the players who ARE playing and criticizing them, try and see what they are doing differently on and off the field which has lead them to a playing position and more playing time.
Learn from them.

There are always a million and one different areas to improve in,...and there always will be.
Find these areas. Make personal and team goals.

Your quote:

quote:

The coach has effectively ruined his chance of playing college baseball.

Again, dont place blame.
Change your attitude and outlook.
Look for a solution.
You have received many here.

I wish your son the best of luck.

In today's baseball world, if your kid is good enough, he will be recuited from his select/travel team. It's like a guy I know once said "he (the high school coach) needs my son more than he (his son) needs him"

I say enjoy high school ball, most teams are at best just average. Treat it like the preseason. If your kid is average then you really need the high school coach to open some doors.

I also think big numbers in high school are not a solid sign of the quality of the player, again the competition can vary so much.