Vindictive HS coaches

Privledge?
Scolding?
I thought we were having a discussion.

Sometimes a sense of humor helps.

emerald

I am about as old as an oldtimer can get and I get "scolded" regularly--

Are you a member of the LADIES GUILD ?

quote:

Originally posted by emeraldvlly:
Why is a new member scolded for stating his opinion? Are only "old-timers" allowed that priviledge?

"Our mission is to provide information, links, and resources about the high school experience." --
from the HSBBW welcome page.

I am equally critical of "old timers'" questionable posts.

quote:

I get "scolded" regularly--

Yes TR,.... and in truth, you also scold others.
( Not really sure the word scold is the right word I'm looking for here ,....but I hope you can get my idea. )

Its all part of it!
Give and take.
Everyone putting their two cents in.
Hopefully in a civilized manner.
Unfortunately, sometimes the manners part gets lost in the scuffle discussion.

( ...and sometimes it's fun to laugh, cheer, cry, get upset, and learn in the meantime too. )

Well TR, you do dish it out pretty often. I sometimes find your "crankiness" rude, sometimes amusing, sometimes right on target. It's all good.

It's my feeling that folks new to posting (some have been reading a long time) aren't always given license to opine to the same extent that oldtimers are. And I think that's a slap to the new people.

I, myself, am cranky with pent-up baseball frustration. I am recording all st games so as to feed my need until the ****ed rain ceases here in the Emerald Valley.

...the ****ed rain?

Let me guess...the needed rain?

quote:

I think people now know they are not spending money on summer ball for a baseball scholarship, but more for a slot on a team where the competition is fierce to get one.

Boy, I hope that isn't the reason people are spending all that money on travel teams, lessons, showcases, and the like.
None of that gets any player a slot on a college team.
It might get him some scholarship money(might not) or help get your son admitted, but it does not get him a slot....[/QUOTE]


I have to disagree with this. I have never spent alot (more than $200) on summer ball for my kid. Mostly because I thought the amount of money (thousands) that it would cost was both more than I could afford and not worth the cost.

However, as my kid is a junior this year, he will be playing for one of those "high powered" travel teams in the fall, and it will cost me an arm and a leg. I'm not doing it necessarily for scholarship money. I'm doing it for the exposure and the chance for a college to see him and become interested in him so he does make the team, or "get a slot" as you say. I'm not sure I follow your logic when you say it may get scholarship money, but not a slot. When you say "slot", I take that as a "spot" on the team. On the roster. Not necessarily starting, but on the team. Obviously, any kid will have to earn playing time.

If I'm spending thousands of dollars this fall for another reason, please let me know, as I'll put it in the bank and take the 3% interest and use it towards tuition...

Sorry Knighttime, I should have been more clear, the 6 different coaches are fall ball and summer league teams since 9th grade, always been the same high school coach.
goMo makes my other point better than I, a slot on a college team does not mean playing time, but many never even get a look or at best try to walk on, my kid had to go his own road to get a scholarship and we of course helped financially, but his belief in himself and his talent is what worked.
I have been trying to be careful about giving out too much info as I have to assume every h.s. coach in America reads this site and I still have a fear that in someway this H.S. coach will torpedo my kid. On the other hand hopefully I in some way gave some info that helped someone else as much as this site has helped me and my kid. Next year when he is safely in college boy do I have some stories which I know he will recognize but they are mighty entertaining.

goMO,
I think we agree in some areas and aren't on the same page in others.
My view is the following:
If parents are going to spend those kinds of dollars, it should be with the recognition it is to help your son improve his skills as a player, to allow him to compete and learn to thrive on that feeling, to increase his chances of being seen by others, to foster his love for the game, to increase his desire to both get better and play at a higher level, and it should be done to expand his social group and all that brings.
If that process ends with him being a recruit, he will then have the chance to "earn" a slot on the team in college. Earning that slot will by and large be based on his talent level.
If parents are spending those kinds of dollars from ages 12-17 as an "investment" or "downpayment" on a "slot" on a college team, that isn't realistic, or fair to the player.
If we appreciate the number of players involved with proliferation of travel teams as contrasted with the number of slots open each year in college baseball we can quickly recognize there are far more parents paying large sums of money than there are likely "slots" available.
In effect, I propose that you support your son's playing and competing because he loves the game and wants to get better. Support your son because it might get him visibility. Let your son play and compete in the today.
Don't support him with the "expectation" that you or he will get something from it in 2-6 years. Only his level of talent, combined with some luck along the way, will be the yardstick of his getting a slot, if and when that time arrives.

infielddad,

I think we are on the same page. I agree with pretty much everything you said, except perhaps the first point where the expensive fall ball team will "improve his skills". I may be wrong, but I think this team is less developmental, and more exposure, oriented. I'm sure the coaches will give some tips, etc., but these players are expected to be able to play.

I agree 100% that spending that kind of money over a number of years as an "investment" is not money well spent. Plus, its money I just don't have. I won't spend thousands just because he loves the game. I could spend hundreds and let him play Legion. I'm spending this money for the exposure it can get him so he can continue to play the game he loves in college. But I guess how that could be seen as spending it on love of the game. No argument.

Bottom line - he's going to have to perform well to get noticed. Exposure, or (as we say at work), a chance to get Exposed. We'll see!!

goMO,
When our son was the age of your's, I thought the only thing that truly mattered was talent and love of the game.
Fungo, and the new world of college baseball recruiting, convinced me about exposure.
Sounds like you have more things right than I did!
Despite that, our son managed to overcome all of my missteps and ended up fine.
Hope the same happens for yours.

Thanks!

My kid is a good, hard-nosed player. Catcher. And he has the mindset for that position. He's not a D1 blue-chipper, but I think he can definitely find a spot somewhere.

He just got his rating from his PG showcase. It was a 6.5. Not bad, but a start. He's really got to crank it up this year..

emeraldvlly:

Oh don't worry about it. Shortstopmom sounds about as old as a poster can be and you know when they get old they get cranky especially if someone dares to question their queen bee status. Obviously she considers it her blog and feels she must defend every coach every time. Those of us with experience in the profession know better. But hey let her have her say. She did curtsey after all!

Whether it's an old or a new poster... This kind of stuff is not needed. mespo, this was your 2nd post... way to get off to a good start!

quote:

Picture of CPLZ

Posted March 19, 2008 10:38 AM Hide Post
PG,
It is true that we as coaches get very much caught up in the look and gait of the athlete. I liked your story and it reminds me of the dozens of times my eyes have been opened by players that when given only a cursory look, I rushed to negative judgement only to be proved wrong.

*******************
cplz:

Thank you for one of the most honest posts around. Coaches get blinders like everyone else and the parent sitting there and fuming does not make it better. Hell it's un-American not to complain, and it can be done in a constructive way. I have always held open meetings with players and parents to voice grievances and if they are willing to say their little Johnny is better than little Billy in front of the whole group, so be it. No one ever has. And finally for those who think they are here for the betterment of the game (and the entities or whatever that drivel was about), I say grow up. Most of our kids leave baseball at age 13 because of pompous attitudes like that. If you are not here to help the kids, why are you coaching.

PGStaff:

When they name you moderator,I 'll worry about what you have to say or think.

wow...

OUCH !!!!!!!

quote:

Most of our kids leave baseball at age 13 because of pompous attitudes like that. If you are not here to help the kids, why are you coaching.

They leave baseball for many reason's, Lack of Talent being one of them.
Bad Coaches can be another.
No love for the game can also be a reason.
Or more love for another sport.
Girls??

Here's one also, Parent's?? Yes parent's do cause players to quit the sport.

mespo727272 [qoute]
Those of us with experience in the profession know better.
[qoute]

A know it all, I'm sure glad you showed up?
I was beginning to lose faith.
EH

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
OUCH !!!!!!!

Double ouch!

So true. By the way my name is Kenny May and I coach at South Granville HS in Creedmoor NC. Sometimes I think it would be better if people had to post their name and then stand behind their talk with a true identity.

Some people have no idea what a small circle the baseball community really is. And believe me the longer your son plays the smaller it gets. If these peoples kids play long enough they will come to realize how totally off base they were. The question is how many bridges will they already have burned before they realize it?

mespo727272,

What was that all about? Believe me, PGStaff could be named moderator or whatever else if he wished, but I think he's kind of busy already. PGStaff is one of our most respected members and also a very nice man, and I can't imagine why a first-day member would post something like that to him.

Then you go and insult shortstopmom and call her cranky, when she is about as nice a poster and moderator as you could hope to find.

Are we just looking for some excitement?

I sent you a system notification, and my contact info is included in that e-mail. Thank you.

Julie

mespo mespo mespo,....greetings fellow poster.

Remember me?
SSmom,
aka: The Old -lets not forget " cranky " -Queen Bee.
( which by the way,..if you are going to give me that status/title, the least you could do is issue me out a tiarra to go with it,..geeeesh. )


Perhaps you should go back to new poster rule #1:
READ THE BOARD MANNERS.
I tried to convey that to you earlier in a what I meant to be a funny, yet serious manner.
Guess I did not succeed.

You have managed to intentionally insult many with only a few posts.
Bravo, ( no more curtsey for you mister ).

I'll take my lumps from you, but as a moderator I'm not going to let the intentional insults to the other posters slide.

Call it an ego,...call it my need to blog,...call it whatever silly word you want, somebody has to call you on it and that's what I tried to do this morning.
Guess I get to do it again tonight.

Woops,...sorry Julie. I didnt see your post before I hit my send button.

Added:

I really hate the idea that I am giving some posters ( except for the ones who intentionally violate the manner rules ) the impression that I'm cranky or that I think that I have some sort of
" status " here on the HSBBW. Thats never been my intention. I am the first to admit, I know nothing and am here to learn as much as I can. My hope has always been to share some of our family experiences, as minor tid bits as they may be, inorder to spark an idea or help someone out there who may be going through the same thing. Even if they dont like what they hear, perhaps it will give them an idea, or maybe it sends them in a completely different direction for their answers. As long as they get their answers....that's the key.

I'm going to go dust myself off, step out of the trenches, and get back to baseball.

How many of you all realize that what is going on in here is mirroring what is going on in reality? We have people in the real world who think everyone owes them something. If they don't get that something then they start to get cranky. They come across as people who know everything and will tell you how it is and if you don't agree with them then you are going to hear about how wrong you are.

If they don't get their way then they are going to go out and talk about people and spread rumors. They are going to create as much drama as they can because they get off on it.

In the real world the ones who succeed the most are the ones who go out and earn it. They are respected by most people because they have that track record of honesty, integrity and accomplishment. Because of that when they talk it has a huge impact because they have earned that right. Only problem is the drama queens don't like what the respected say and will bash them or criticize them.

Now we get to come into our little corner of cyberspace and it's just like the real world. We have posters in here who have a proven track record of honesty, integrity and accomplishment. When they write something most people stand up and "listen". Doesn't mean they cannot be debated but they have earned the respect they should be given.

Then we get the entitled posters in here and they could care less what they put or who they tick off. They come in here and just put stuff because they are hoping to get a rise out of some of us.

I don't know where I stand in the old timers versus the new timers but I know the ones I respect on here are old timers. The reason why I respect them is I have read their posts over a long period of time and developed a sense of who they are.

Does that mean I do not respect the new timers? No not really because I want to hear them and get to know them. I want to develop an understanding of who these people are.

I don't think they need to come in here and bow down to the elders but some need to get in here and learn who people are and develop that respect for them instead of looking for trouble.

It is not that simple?

Oldtimers have been down the road many of you are now walking---they offer advice based on their experiences--you don't have to heed their advice if you do not want to


It has nothing to do with what you term "a holier than though complex"--it has to do with maybe having experienced something others have yet to

ssmom,

Believe me, you do not appear to be cranky! I appreciate your efforts to provide some friendly direction to threads that get off track, and your sense of humor!

There are just some people who come on message boards like this with less than positive intentions. They definitely do not speak for the majority, so don't let this get you down!

Julie

Mespo,

Do you know a guy named Chuck Barris?

Heads up and watch for the gong. You only get 3 strikes.

LOL

quote:

Originally posted by batdad25:

quote:

Originally posted by emeraldvlly:
Why is a new member scolded for stating his opinion? Are only "old-timers" allowed that priviledge?

"Our mission is to provide information, links, and resources about the high school experience." --
from the HSBBW welcome page.

Not sure if I would call it scolding as much as a "holier then though" complex" I remember reading about this in one of my 101 courses in school.

Strange isn't it? I guess the "I got here first, so I know better" rule is in effect. It wouldn't have anything to do with the old timers being older - thus, Their kids are older - as a result they found this site before us based very simply on the age of our kids... I can't be that simple?

I am not sure of the purpose of your post.

quote:

PGStaff:

When they name you moderator,I 'll worry about what you have to say or think.

Mespo,

First of all I wouldn't be a very good moderator because I would never delete anything.

My earler comment wasn't meant to make you worry.

Somehow, I don't think you would worry about what any of the "real" moderators have to say or think, either. I hope you prove me wrong, though.

PG,

I must admit I am not concerned at all about Mespo's evaluation of the highly paid "moderators" of this site.

I am - however- cyber focused on Mespo's adherence to the Board Manners that govern this site.

Like sand through the hourglass - so goes the cyber days of Mespo on the HSBBWEB.

I'm a little confused again. Which happens a lot. Hence the call name "Dizzy". I thought this thread began with a parent asking for help on how to handle a vindictive coach and he seemed content with the advise given many posts ago. Now everyone seems to be bickering amongst each other over their opinions which seem to no longer have anything to do with the original thread.

quote:

Originally posted by shortstopmom:
mespo mespo mespo,....greetings fellow poster.

Remember me?
SSmom,
aka: The Old -lets not forget " cranky " -Queen Bee.
( which by the way,..if you are going to give me that status/title, the least you could do is issue me out a tiarra to go with it,..geeeesh. )


Perhaps you should go back to new poster rule #1:
READ THE BOARD MANNERS.
I tried to convey that to you earlier in a what I meant to be a funny, yet serious manner.
Guess I did not succeed.

You have managed to intentionally insult many with only a few posts.
Bravo, ( no more curtsey for you mister ).

I'll take my lumps from you, but as a moderator I'm not going to let the intentional insults to the other posters slide.

Call it an ego,...call it my need to blog,...call it whatever silly word you want, somebody has to call you on it and that's what I tried to do this morning.
Guess I get to do it again tonight.

shortstopmom,
You are definitely not cranky or full of yourself as mespo implied. In fact, you are probably the most level headed and informed parent on this site. You are one of the few who gets it. Keep up the great work!

If you think Highschool is rough--wait till you hit the world of Junior College or Div1 coaches. They are a bred of their own---and yes they have complete control over your kids career no matter how good they are. You say stats don't lie...but wake up, coaches do, if yu have questioned their integrity in anyway. And the sad thing is that there is nothing you can do about it but sit back and pray alot...I mean alot! Your son could be the next coming A-Rod and if the coach wants to keep him under the radar---he can. The 2 rules are...the coach is always right...rule #2: if you find the coach to be wrong in any way, refer back to rule #1. You can't win...all you can do is teach your son to keep forging forward, be a team player, and work hard. Pro scouts will tell you that "you never know when someones watching". They look for players that are involved whether on or offf the field. They might notice your son in the cages---bat speed is a big thing to college recruiters and proscouts...running speed is lower on the list...my reasoning is if they can't hit the ball who cares how fast they are HAHA. Keep your son focused and positive...And that's up to you, our kids feed off us. Been there done that...good luck!

Bob...Your sentiments are my sentiments exactly. Most coaches have integrity. There is no doubt about that. My son has had some very fine coaches over his 20 year baseball career. But when you find one who doesn't have integrity and character, you and your son could be in for a rough ride. Give encouragement to your son at every opportunity, help him to remain positive and keep him prayed up!

If you have a coach with questionable integrity it probably wouldn't be wise, or beneficial to your player, to question him on it. Obviously if he has low integrity calling him on it will do nothing but bring further hardship on to your son.

In BBD91's defense, I think we as parents just want our kids to be treated fairly(on and off the playing field)--but as adults we know that life is not always fair. We get sucked in by our kids unhappiness---and do things we would probably never do in our business lives. I can sympathize with some of your feelings--been there and hated every second of it ---for everyone's sake. A sports psychologist once told me that if the coaches of the world came to see him---the players wouldn't have to. I think us as parents sometimes need a sounding block or shrink too---so don't be so sarcastic or nasty ---you might think you are telling it like it is--but it's just your opinion. And we are all intitled to our own. So, for all it's worth tell your son to keep working hard, be a team player, and take what ever ammount of time on the field he gets and turn it into something great. That's hard to ignore.