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You can't improve unless you play. Get your son on a team where he has a chance to play. The coach let you know up front that at crunch time, only the best would play. Next season, change teams.....don't let him quit over something that was the parents fault in the first place.
Talk to the coach about what to work on and work hard on that, itll impress the coach. If all else fails join another team.
I am with bbscout-- at the age you note the most IMPORTANT thing is playing time--getting his reps--and working of the refinement of the fundamentals
Guess I'm a contrarian, but all is as you have been led to understand would happen. I'd suggest that he stick it out, work super hard during practices, and be prepared to come in at any time. You never know. The most important thing to me is how he is choosing to behave -- this is a great opportunity for him to lead from the bench, regardless of his ability or position. IMHO, that is the skill that is transferrable - for any vocation.
This is why I strongly disagree with highly "select" teams at a young age. Let the kids have fun and learn the game.
I disagree with UAKMB. I don't want my son to set on the bench wearing his new cleats, holding his $200.00 "Nitrogen Charged" titanium bat, learning the life skill of how to lead from the bench. We want double plays, no hitters, homeruns, and sweat and dirt on those uniforms!
Parent needs to tell coach we’re leaving. You said he was the twelfth man on the roster so his leaving won’t put the team in a bind. Explain to the coach you made a mistake and you’re moving your son to a team where he can play. Even if the coach agrees to play him more, I would still move on. While I think 13/14 is a good age to move to an “area” travel team, I also agree with bbsout and TR that you have to play to get better.
Fungo
Parent needs to tell coach we’re leaving. You said he was the twelfth man on the roster so his leaving won’t put the team in a bind. Explain to the coach you made a mistake and you’re moving your son to a team where he can play. Even if the coach agrees to play him more, I would still move on. While I think 13/14 is a good age to move to an “area” travel team, I also agree with bbsout and TR that you have to play to get better.
Fungo
justbaseball,
"He's pretty good, makes the all star teams, but barely."
You answered your own poll question with this bit of information- to place this level of player on a "select" team is placing him WAY over his current talent level.
IMHO, it seems that the "invitation" for your son to participate on the "select" team was a way for the select team to secure a full complement of parent $.
IF the son really wants to continue to play at higher levels, I would suggest that your $ and time would be better spent on lessons from a competent instructor(especially at age 12,13,14) who can focus on the areas which will enable the player to be more than just "...barely..." selected to all star teams.
Continuing to play on a team(at the same skill level) will do much to keep the player at that same inadequate skill level when compared to gains made from private instruction alone at this critical age level.
A HUGE part of the solution at this age is the player's true desire to pay the price to get better. This will require him to be brutaly honest with himself.
Best of luck... at this point players(and parents) have to realize that they must enjoy the WORK that getting better requires compared to the FUN that playing baseball has previously been. When WORKING at baseball is FUN, he will make progress and then only his true physical limitations can hold him back.
OPP
"He's pretty good, makes the all star teams, but barely."
You answered your own poll question with this bit of information- to place this level of player on a "select" team is placing him WAY over his current talent level.
IMHO, it seems that the "invitation" for your son to participate on the "select" team was a way for the select team to secure a full complement of parent $.
IF the son really wants to continue to play at higher levels, I would suggest that your $ and time would be better spent on lessons from a competent instructor(especially at age 12,13,14) who can focus on the areas which will enable the player to be more than just "...barely..." selected to all star teams.
Continuing to play on a team(at the same skill level) will do much to keep the player at that same inadequate skill level when compared to gains made from private instruction alone at this critical age level.
A HUGE part of the solution at this age is the player's true desire to pay the price to get better. This will require him to be brutaly honest with himself.
Best of luck... at this point players(and parents) have to realize that they must enjoy the WORK that getting better requires compared to the FUN that playing baseball has previously been. When WORKING at baseball is FUN, he will make progress and then only his true physical limitations can hold him back.
OPP
This is not a good situation. While sitting on the bench is NOT something I would want my son getting used to. I also don't want him to think that he can quit anytime things are not ideal.
I would suggest to start looking for another team that he can get playing time on (and lots of it). In the meantime bite the bullet, work hard and have a great attitude. Support the current team and plan an appropriate exit strategy.
R.
I would suggest to start looking for another team that he can get playing time on (and lots of it). In the meantime bite the bullet, work hard and have a great attitude. Support the current team and plan an appropriate exit strategy.
R.
If a coach on this travel or select teams can make an agreement and keep it, then why can't the parents? We are faced with this right now with my daughter. She plays for a select team in our community. They play 27 games last year. She was asked to tryout for a select team from a hugh community near us. We didn't! The coach emailed me and said they kept a place for her on that team after their tryouts. We will go play for that team also if they agree with our conditions. One condition is which team is her "first team" and which one is her "second team." I believe I would consider this if I were you.
Beware of the coach who stockpiles talent. Is he really interested in helping your son/daughter or is he interested in winning.
At this age, playing time and playing time only should be the kid and his parents main goal.
I would explore playing on two teams. One where you are the star and one where you aren't. If you can work the schedules out great. If not, you have a decision to make and mine would be playing time.
Stockpiling talent is sometimes a cover for eliminating competition.
At this age, playing time and playing time only should be the kid and his parents main goal.
I would explore playing on two teams. One where you are the star and one where you aren't. If you can work the schedules out great. If not, you have a decision to make and mine would be playing time.
Stockpiling talent is sometimes a cover for eliminating competition.
parents made the agreement,let them sit. kids want to play. let them play, enjoy and improve
How many non-tournament games are there? I thought the coach said there would be some and all players would play in those games.
Can your son play on a rec team and a travel team? When my son was younger several kids (mainly the borderline travel level players) "played" rec ball and were on the travel team also.
Bottom line though is at that age your son needs to be having fun and if he is not having fun on the team he is currently on he needs to do something different. I hate kids that quit but if it is a really bad situation he should go talk to the coach either before or after practice and say "I know you said that you were going to play the better players in tournaments but I thought I would get some playing time. I don't want to go back on my commitment to the team but if you don't think my playing time is going to increase would you release me from my commitment." For a kid learning how to meet a problem head on is a lot more valuable than learning how to hit a curve ball.
Can your son play on a rec team and a travel team? When my son was younger several kids (mainly the borderline travel level players) "played" rec ball and were on the travel team also.
Bottom line though is at that age your son needs to be having fun and if he is not having fun on the team he is currently on he needs to do something different. I hate kids that quit but if it is a really bad situation he should go talk to the coach either before or after practice and say "I know you said that you were going to play the better players in tournaments but I thought I would get some playing time. I don't want to go back on my commitment to the team but if you don't think my playing time is going to increase would you release me from my commitment." For a kid learning how to meet a problem head on is a lot more valuable than learning how to hit a curve ball.
I agree with Coach B. The coach laid it all up front.
We had a similar situation this summer where the coach, out of the goodness of his heart, took in a player who really was not "select" team material. He laid everything out from the beginning, and when it came down to the regionals only the top 20 would play.
Less than halfway through the summer, the player was upset he got very little playing time and was used sparingly. When he played he did not do well, claimed he needed more time to play to get better. The team was on the road, called his mom to get him on an airplane home.
My son and his friends were upset. They went out on a limb to get him on the team and said that no matter what quitting should never be an option. The summer was a long one, 68 games, one never knows when an extra bat or arm was needed. Mother claimed her son was better than given credit for, thought he just was never given the chance.
He was told from the beginning to join another team where he would get more playing time. They didn't listen, claimed they didn't care how much he played. After all that wanted the coach to try to recommend him to another team...hello...word spreads quickly and he spent the rest of the summer doing nothing.
We had a similar situation this summer where the coach, out of the goodness of his heart, took in a player who really was not "select" team material. He laid everything out from the beginning, and when it came down to the regionals only the top 20 would play.
Less than halfway through the summer, the player was upset he got very little playing time and was used sparingly. When he played he did not do well, claimed he needed more time to play to get better. The team was on the road, called his mom to get him on an airplane home.
My son and his friends were upset. They went out on a limb to get him on the team and said that no matter what quitting should never be an option. The summer was a long one, 68 games, one never knows when an extra bat or arm was needed. Mother claimed her son was better than given credit for, thought he just was never given the chance.
He was told from the beginning to join another team where he would get more playing time. They didn't listen, claimed they didn't care how much he played. After all that wanted the coach to try to recommend him to another team...hello...word spreads quickly and he spent the rest of the summer doing nothing.
Just Baseball, I think the coach holds aii the biame here. What kind of coach has problems keeping twelve players happy?
From bbforlife
BINGO!!!!
I don't like the word "QUIT". When a person changes their mind or changes their job to place themselves in a better situation, is it "quitting" or is it just changing things?
"QUIT" is not a word I have ever used around my children. Then again, I sometimes consider myself a fairly stupid parent.
Quitting baseball is one thing, changing teams could be completely different. Did A-Rod quit the Mariners or did he join the Rangers. There can be a lot of good reasons to change. It happens every day and everyone has done it.
Yes, the more you play the better you get. However, someone will always be on the bench. Being there all the time is a bummer!
quote:
Bottom line though is at that age your son needs to be having fun and if he is not having fun on the team he is currently on he needs to do something different.
BINGO!!!!
I don't like the word "QUIT". When a person changes their mind or changes their job to place themselves in a better situation, is it "quitting" or is it just changing things?
"QUIT" is not a word I have ever used around my children. Then again, I sometimes consider myself a fairly stupid parent.
Quitting baseball is one thing, changing teams could be completely different. Did A-Rod quit the Mariners or did he join the Rangers. There can be a lot of good reasons to change. It happens every day and everyone has done it.
Yes, the more you play the better you get. However, someone will always be on the bench. Being there all the time is a bummer!
I really like that answer PGStaff. It often seems to me that when a coach "quits," everyone sees it as the coach is putting himself in a better situation. When a player "quits," he is a "quitter," a problem. "Changing" your situation is a much better way to describe what we do in life, all of us.
If this were my son I was describing (it is not...just a scenario I've observed a few times over the years), I don't think I'd let my son or daughter "change" their situation until the current season was over. I would not blame the coach, but I would encourage my son to work hard to improve his situation.
I was once on a Pop Warner football team as a kid where the coach was really tough on me...it was the only time my father ever told me I could leave the team if I wanted too...I didn't and I was really glad that (1) my father showed confidence in me to decide for myself (I knew he really wanted me to stick it out) and (2) that I didn't give up on myself.
If this were my son I was describing (it is not...just a scenario I've observed a few times over the years), I don't think I'd let my son or daughter "change" their situation until the current season was over. I would not blame the coach, but I would encourage my son to work hard to improve his situation.
I was once on a Pop Warner football team as a kid where the coach was really tough on me...it was the only time my father ever told me I could leave the team if I wanted too...I didn't and I was really glad that (1) my father showed confidence in me to decide for myself (I knew he really wanted me to stick it out) and (2) that I didn't give up on myself.
go where he can play -
part of a "good" coaches responsibility in managing the team is to keep his reserves sharp/interested with "game time" - piece o cake with a 12 man roster
if game time for reserves is not part of his plan, he'll deserve what he gets - - an empty bench when he has to go to it - then maybe he'll learn - too late to help you, but in time to help the next guys
agree also with PG as well that changing teams is much different than quitting
life is all about making adjustments based on ever changing situations -
and I'd worry about someone who advised staying in a bad situation for it's own sake
part of a "good" coaches responsibility in managing the team is to keep his reserves sharp/interested with "game time" - piece o cake with a 12 man roster
if game time for reserves is not part of his plan, he'll deserve what he gets - - an empty bench when he has to go to it - then maybe he'll learn - too late to help you, but in time to help the next guys
agree also with PG as well that changing teams is much different than quitting
life is all about making adjustments based on ever changing situations -
and I'd worry about someone who advised staying in a bad situation for it's own sake
Bee,
Then you get into that same old scenerio of big rosters. No coach can manage a team with 30-40 on their roster in LL. So therefore, somewhere the coach just has to say no.
Years ago we had a situation where everyone wanted to be on the same travel team, so the coach started a league of about 3-4 teams, to give everyone playing time.
Then you get into that same old scenerio of big rosters. No coach can manage a team with 30-40 on their roster in LL. So therefore, somewhere the coach just has to say no.
Years ago we had a situation where everyone wanted to be on the same travel team, so the coach started a league of about 3-4 teams, to give everyone playing time.
I can't fault the coach because he is doing what he said he was going to do. You can debate if it is right to do or not but at least he was up front about it. I feel that kids need to play not sit the bench at this age. There will come a time if he plays long enough where there wont be another option. But at this age he needs to play. You said that he was not happy. That would tell me all I needed to know.
The ideal situation would be to continue working out with the select team and to also play on a local team where he'd get the playing time.
If this can't be worked out I'd suggest changing teams but only after giving the select coach plenty of warning so that he can get a decent replacement.
My son could probably catch on with a select team and start now, but he wouldn't be one of the top players. That wasn't the case even a year ago. We're sticking with the local travel team and trying to build that team up so that we can play a bit stronger competition.
If this can't be worked out I'd suggest changing teams but only after giving the select coach plenty of warning so that he can get a decent replacement.
My son could probably catch on with a select team and start now, but he wouldn't be one of the top players. That wasn't the case even a year ago. We're sticking with the local travel team and trying to build that team up so that we can play a bit stronger competition.