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What would you do?

C Calsportsmom10+ posts
So here's the latest in the saga with my son's freshman try-outs. The coach just recently had the 1st round of cuts. My son did not get cut, however,he was given a proposition which sounds pretty strange to me.

My son's name along with one other player was highlighted on the list of the players that made the cut. My son went to talk to the coach to inquire about why his name was highlighted. The coach told him that he has skills, has heart (more heart than all the boys trying out), and knows that my son has a love for the game of baseball, but that he needs a little work and with the talent of the boys trying out, my son would not make the 2nd cut, so the coach told him that he wants to make my son a student manager. The coach says that he wants to keep my son around him and the baseball field and that my son would help with practices and also work out, suit up for games etc. The coach said that he would be part of the team and on the roster, but he did not mention anything about playing time. This sounds weird to me. It's basically in my opinion a glorified name for a bat boy.

Well my son was thrilled (why I don't know) and accepted the postion without consulting with my husband and I. The question is does this sound like the coach is feeding my son a bunch of lies? has anyone heard of this type of situation before? My husband left a msg for the coach to talk to him so we will have a better understanding as to the coaches intentions. All my son wants to do is play baseball. It sounds like a waste of time to me. Maybe I am being too negative. Maybe the coach wants to keep him around because he sees potential. Everyone I need your help on this one please. What would you do?
Last edited {1}
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infidel_08infidel_081,000+ posts
I'm curious, what do you see as your options?

Sounds to me like your son was facing the only choice available that would keep him as close as possible to where he wants to be. In that circumstance, I would have chosen similarly. As someone here says, he was handed a gator and, according to you, he will be thrilled to make gatorade.
Last edited by infidel_08
B baseballguy100+ posts
CSMom -
I agree with the above post. It sounds to me that the coach likes what he sees in your son - otherwise, why take the time to sit and talk with him, etc. The simple and easiest thing for the coach might have been to simply cut him. He did not do that. Instead, he chose to find a way to keep your son involved with the program and...as much as you might prefer that he be a rostered player...according to your post, your son is ok with all of what the coach is offering.

Also, keep in mind that a lot changes in the next couple of years. The kids that were standouts at 12-13 often have trouble getting on the field at 16. Baseball is a terrific sport that with hard work and dedication (which, apparently, the coach recognizes in your son)can have great rewards. And, those rewards do not always mean becoming the starter or star. But, my guess is that by staying around the team, working out with them, and learning more and more from a coach that appears to care...your son will develop his skills and, who knows?

Maybe most importantly, he will also learn that often the things that mean the most are the things you have to work the hardest to obtain. Give the coach the benefit of the doubt. It sounds to me like he really likes the things he sees in your son and is trying to help.

Best of luck.
20dad20dad1,000+ posts
not trying to put a bee in your corset but why would your son consult with you and your husband? he has to live with his choice. and it sounds like he is doing something he loves.

and why would you even say that it sounds like a waste of time? i'm sure you wouldn't say that about studying ,and isn't that what this is. take a step back and be happy for your son,sounds like he has taken the challenge. support him.
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
Are these freshman try-outs for varsity or freshman tryouts for the freshman team?

If they are for the freshman team, then I think your son has made a good choice. Like him, I would have been thrilled the coach highlighted my name rather than cut me.

If this is about varsity, then you may want to consider having your son ask the coach if it might be better to play on the JV team or freshman team rather than sit at varsity.

The other thing to keep in mind is that things are relative. A student manager at one school just might be one of the better players at another school.
Last edited by ClevelandDad
FungoFungoHighly Regarded and Beloved Old Timer
I think it would be normal procedure for a son to consult with the parents before “accepting” the role as team manager on the baseball team especially if their goal was to play baseball. In fact it’s not unusual for ANY person to consult others when making an important decision. I was always under the impression that asking others’ opinions was a good thing and helped in making the best decision.
I think playing baseball (no matter what the level) requires selecting the best options at any given time. If your son has an option of being on the freshman team or being varsity manager (as CD brought up) one would think he needs to opt for the freshman roster in order to get playing time. If he failed to make the freshman team (or there is no freshman team available) then accepting the manager’s job might be his only option and you are fortunate he has maintained a positive attitude.
Let me add that I have seen student/athletes that are very satisfied with being the team manager and in fact are an integral part of the team. I would venture to say the life skills your son learns by being a team manager will benefit him later on as a ball player and an adult.
Fungo

PS: Here is a story your son might relate to:

This is a recent story about 5'6" - 150 lb. Dusty Mills a HS basketball player that made the varsity roster at Kentucky. He should have quit a long time ago ---or should he?

After averaging just two points and 1.7 assists as a senior at Noblesville HS, Mills has become of the most improbable stories in college basketball. He came to the University of Kentucky as an accounting student and made it through a tryout with 23 others to become a walk-on for the nation's winningest program.
"I'm living a dream," he said. "I came here with no intention to play basketball. I didn't even start for my high school team. But I gave it a try, and they asked me to come back. I'm on a day-to-day contract, but it's really a dream come true."
UK coach Billy Gillispie likes having several walk-ons and said players such as Mills are vital. Mark Krebs, Dwight Perry, Matt Scherbenske, Mark Coury and former Pleasure Ridge Park star Kerry Benson are the other nonscholarship players on the roster.
"Everyone on a team should be able to help you win," Gillispie said. "You have to bring something to the table that gives yourself an opportunity to help your team win.
"I do think that Dusty has something. I don't know exactly what it is yet. It's not height, I can promise you that. But he plays at a high intensity."
Last edited by Fungo
C curveball07100+ posts
Our high school coach uses student managers such as the situation you described. He uses student managers for each team. One freshman last year did not make the freshman team and was asked to be the manager of the varsity team - he was at every practice, travelled with the team, got a varsity game day shirt, etc. He worked his tail off and played baseball in a recreational league to keep his skills up and for the love of the game. He was told he probably wouldn't make the team this year because of his small size.

Although he enjoyed most of the experience, he will probably not be the manager again this year - he is ready to move on to try something else. He did get his PE credit for high school.

I think it takes a lot of character for your son to be the manager for his age group - his friends. This will definitely be a growing experience for him. I also think it will be harder on you than it is on him - as a parent it is so hard to see your son go through trials. Maybe this coach will see him grow and develop and let him try again next year. Good luck!!
B Bee>1,000+ posts
it makes sense for parents to consult coach if there are questions. whether the manager offer is the best choice depends on what the other options are.

(ex. if son ran track while still working on baseball, it's possible to develop a baseball tool that many lack .. speed)



hey wait a minute ... I just got a flashback re your team tryout

and now wondering how the girls trying out for your team faired & whether your son is still in favor of girls on the boy's baseball team
quote:
by calsportmom: "My son thinks its great. He says if she has the talent, he is all for it."
Last edited by Bee>
Lefty34Lefty34100+ posts
Sounds to us like the coach saw something in your son that the coach feels time & work outs with the team will develop. We would definately keep him playing ball outside of school, though.

Yes we would too have been a little dissappointed by this opportunity and by son not bouncing the idea off of us first, but, it is son's choice in the long run.
zombywoofzombywoof1,000+ posts
Sounds like the coach is giving him a chance to be on the team because he worked hard and was into it and all but lacked the skills to make the player roster so he kept him on to help out with the scorebook, doing stats for the newspaper, getting water or whatever the team needs. At the end of the season, they're usually recognized at award nights and get a varsity letter and if that's what he wants to do, then there shouldn't be a problem.

Personally, if I couldn't cut it as a player, I wouldn't hang around the team as a gofer and I'd probably ask the kid why bother but If he were to be that adamant on wanting to be team manager, then I guess I'd be ok with it. There's a lot worse things these kids could be doing after school.
Last edited by zombywoof
T Texan1,000+ posts
Odds are the coach was being honest. But it is possible he could have been feeding your son a line just trying to make sure he got a student manager.

If your son still gets to participate in practice, then he definitely made the right decision. He will be seen, be working out and have the chance to improve and make an impression.

If he wants to be the manager regardless (which is what it sounds like), then great. What can it hurt? He can reevaluate next year. With hard work, he might well make the cut next year.

Best wishes for your son.
TRhitTRhit10,000+ posts
I think you have to look at the glass as half full and perhaps even three quarters full

01--give the boy credit for making the decision he did---obviously he loves the game more than you as parents realize and wants to be on the field


02-- I see need to discuss it with the parents--- what would you do --tell him he can't be the manager?


I harken back to my days in HS when as a sophomore I made varsity but wasn't a starter---we had an all county player at my position--- but the JV played on our off days so coach sent me down to play with them in their games and for our varsity games I was the Third Base Coach---talk about a thrill---I wasn't playing but I had an important role with the team.

I congratulate the young man here for making the decision he made---he may soon be a college coach---we need more kids like this who truly love the game
rz1rz15,000+ posts
If I was in the parents shoes I would think the option of being the team manager would leave an initial bad taste in my mouth. However, from the outside looking in the old saying "out of sight...out of mind" rings in my ear. If the passion is there, stick it out regardlees of what part you may play. You never get noticed or get better unless you are involved with those who are higher on the ladder
Last edited by rz1
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
If the kid loves the game and the alternative is go home and hang out after school, he made a good decision. If he gets to practice with the team he may make an impression and beat out another player for the JV team next year.

There was one mistake made. It's time to cut the cord. A high school age kid is not a baby anymore. Dad shouldn't have called the coach for clarification. Dad should have expressed his concerns to the boy and suggested the boy approach the coach with the questions.
Last edited by RJM
H Homerun041,000+ posts
Calsportsmom - Congratulations! It sounds like your son did a very good job of showing the coach that he wants to be there! It is not easy to hear that he may not have the skills to make the cuts, but it is great to hear that his drive and hard work is something that the coach appreciates and hopefully through time, he can make the team, possibly JV's or Varsity as he matures and out works the others.

Short of that, we have had over the last 8 years that I have been around our high school has had several student manager positions at the high school, where the players just loves baseball and want to be around it. A couple of times they actually worked hard enough to get onto the varsity roster and were able to get into games besides being able to workout during the practices.

We had a player who was not good enough to make the team but finally got into a couple of games his senior year, he is now working for the Diamondbacks as an intern.

Unfortunately, baseball comes to an end for everyone, some never make it through Little League, some never get a chance to play high school, and others don't make it in college, etc. but if you love the game, let him stay into it as long as he can as long as he is happy.
Last edited by Homerun04
ILVBBILVBB1,000+ posts
I am assuming that you son is a HS level player. If so, I can assure you that there is still plenty of time for him.

I can think of several kids in the last 4-years that failed to make the team their freshman year that ended up making the team before their HS years were over and garnered baseball scholarships.

This year at my son's HS there is a kid that was cut his Freshman year, played some his sophomore and jr years and became a "showcase sensation" this summer. I watched the kid pitch at a major showcase hitting the low 90's regularly. He had every scout salivating over the prospect of a tall lefty that throws in the 90's.

Your son is not done, he has chosen an opportunity to stay close to the game. He will have the summer to play and improve. There is always next year and he will have the respect of his coaches and teammates.

Sounds like a winner to me!
B brod100+ posts
At my son's old high school they had a student manager who couldn't make the team - this year I believe he will be on varsity, but doubtful about playing time. He gathered equipment, shot film, and ran the scoreboard. To my knowledge he never practiced with the team.

I agree with TRhit - look at it as half full, not empty. The coach may very well be well-meaning. I especially like the part about practicing with the team. That can only improve his skills and give your son a chance to prove himself.

Also, please consider that your son accepted this offer quickly because he may know that he would not make the second cut. That self-knowledge is valuable.

Here's the flip side - The coach has judged his talent as being below frosh team level right now. If you disagree with his decision, you are probably stuck with that opinion for the next four years, unless your son can change his mind. I'm not suggesting the grass is greener elsewhere, but, first impressions have already been made. Your son can learn a valuable life lesson by staying and succeeding, and staying and failing. But it's hard to be philosophical when you are 14 or 15. Kids just want to play baseball.

Sounds like you have a great level-headed son. Good luck and let us know what happens.
H Homerun041,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by YoungGunDad:
Maybe I am missing something....?? <scratches head>

I don't know of many high school teams where a coach would be making cuts of any kind at this time of season. With that being said, I'm not so sure this is a high school kid she is referring to...???


He is in high school in So Cal, you know they play year round!
CM Coach May1,000+ posts
Lets see.

Get cut. Or leave the door open and take the opportunity to prove the coach wrong.

Pretty simple decision imo.

If someone told me I could be a team manager and work out with the team or get cut its a no brainer. Im going to do whatever I have to do to be a part of that program. And Im going to bust my butt to prove that coach wrong about me. In this case you might be proving him right. Because if he did not see something in you he would have just cut you. In any case how bad do you want it? It sounds like to me this young man wants it bad. I think he showed a tremendous amount of guts and character to take this posistion. As a coach I would be in this kids corner and would see to it that he got everything he could out of this season. Good decision young man. I hope you turn into an absolute stud. And one day I hope you coach a team. And in turn give another young man the same opportunity that was afforded you.
coach2709coach270910,000+ posts
We have to remember that once a kid reaches High School that his time playing baseball is now limited. The vast majority of kids who do play high school will NOT play in college. So a kid has to make use of his time and opportunity in baseball.

If your son has the chance to be a part of a team and work out that is a plus. His skills will get better - maybe it won't be enough to be a full time player on the team but he will still get a chance to be a part of the sport he loves. That is huge and most kids who are not good enough to be on a high school team don't get a chance like this.

Also, some kids just want to be a part of something. Being on a team (even in a manager position) gives them a sense of belonging and purpose. This is his chance to be a part of something and have the opportunity to get better.

Think about this - would you rather have your son on the field on SOME capacity making memories or staying at home and doing nothing? I have been on teams where I was one of the better players and I have been on teams where I never stepped foot on the field but I would not give up either one because of the friendships and memories I have from those teams. On the other hand - I really don't remmeber anything from just hanging out with my friends on the weekends during winter. I know I did it and had a good time but my strongest memories were on the field. Let your son create his memories and friendships.
C Calsportsmom10+ posts
Wow Big Grin Thanks to everyone for your words of wisdom. You all are the reason why I enjoy this website so much. I feel much better about this situation. I am now looking at the glass as half full.

My husband and I along with our son have decided that if the coach is interested in developing and working with our son to improve his skills, then we are all for it, but if he will just be a gopher, bat boy etc., then we will put him on another team to work on his baseball skills and then he can tryout again next year. We had to make this decision together and we as parents had to get involved because we live 30 minutes away from his high school. It would take a lot of time, money etc. to drive him to and from practices, games etc. That's why I mentioned the waste of time.

There are a few things I would like to clarify.

1. My son is a freshman, however, he is only 13 years of age so he definitely has a lot of growing and developing to do.

2.We are honest about our son's ability and understand that if the coach does not think that he is ready to be part of the freshman baseball team, then so be it, however, we also teach our son to NEVER give up. We also believe if the coach gives him a chance, he will eventually prove the coach wrong.

3. We are just concerned that the coach is setting him up for a let down (false hope).

4. He is currently on the fresman basketball team, so at least he will be an actual player on a team. It's just that his love is baseball

I will keep you all posted as to the outcome.

Oh Yeah Bee> The girl was cut. Oh well
Last edited by Calsportsmom
M MTS100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by 20dad:
not trying to put a bee in your corset but why would your son consult with you and your husband? he has to live with his choice. and it sounds like he is doing something he loves.

and why would you even say that it sounds like a waste of time? i'm sure you wouldn't say that about studying ,and isn't that what this is. take a step back and be happy for your son,sounds like he has taken the challenge. support him.


Very good point. They need to let their son become a man.
H Homerun041,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by MTS:
quote:
Originally posted by 20dad:
not trying to put a bee in your corset but why would your son consult with you and your husband? he has to live with his choice. and it sounds like he is doing something he loves.

and why would you even say that it sounds like a waste of time? i'm sure you wouldn't say that about studying ,and isn't that what this is. take a step back and be happy for your son,sounds like he has taken the challenge. support him.


Very good point. They need to let their son become a man.


With reading through the post and getting more of the story, the player is 13! He is not a man, he is a young man that can't drive the 30 minute commute to the school, doubt there are that many car poolers from a high school that far on the baseball team, so it really impacts the parents for what 3 years...

Looking at another angle, not knowing what the school situation is, why does he not go to a school which is closer to the home, or any other school, which he may be able to play at and still get a good education?
M MTS100+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by Homerun04:

With reading through the post and getting more of the story, the player is 13! He is not a man, he is a young man that can't drive the 30 minute commute to the school, doubt there are that many car poolers from a high school that far on the baseball team, so it really impacts the parents for what 3 years...

Looking at another angle, not knowing what the school situation is, why does he not go to a school which is closer to the home, or any other school, which he may be able to play at and still get a good education?


Spartans kicked their boys out at 7 year of age to learn to become warriors. You have to cut the cord sometime. Baseball is a sport. Once out of Little League it should be the kid's decision to play, not the parents'. Before I schedule anything having to do with baseball for my son, I let him decide if he wants to do that or go to his uncle's house with his girlfriend to surf. I have to ask him because my son is not allowed to drive yet. He is a sophomore but not allowed to get his learner's permit yet, so he also started school early.
Last edited by MTS
S smalltown10+ posts
At 14 (Freshman year) and 15 my kid did not make the team, at 17, senior year, he is the only player in the school with a college scholarship for baseball, (up yours, coach)The college coaches told us high school ball is almost unimportant to them, it's what they see that counts and summer ball and camps is where they see it. Tell him desire and belief in yourself is 90%, if you believe you are talented you just might be. Had my son believed his coach was a good judge of talent, he might not be living his dream.
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