When does it become THEIR dream?

For mine it was when he was still in grade school We moved to a very small town (population 276). He asked if he could continue playing on his old team rather than finding a closer team at a nearby town.

It required a one hour drive each way several days a week for practise, plus games. I agreed. I figured it would last one month tops.

I let him lead the way from that day forward.

For my oldest, my earliest recollection is from grade school, probably about 2nd - 3rd grade, writing that he wanted to be a professional ball player. I remembered thinking that at some time we would need for him to set more realistic goals. (What little boy doesn't dream of being a professional athlete, but sooner or later we realize that probably isn't realistic!) Several years later, I realized that when I listened to my husband talk about his abilities (at home, he never boasted about him in public), that he was not just seeing him through those rose-colored glasses, but that son actually had some talent.

While he has always driven the dream, I think it really "sunk" in for him last year, when he was able to play on some teams with players at his caliber level.

Youngest son following much the same path ~ has always talked about being a professional ball player and of course, has a big brother to follow and help him develop. Often complains about big brother getting all the attention, but we have to remind him that he has milestones that brother doesn't have and he is much farther along at the same age becuase his brother has helped throw, catch, etc with him.

I guess it was the winter before my son's 9th grade year, when he worked with a strength coach at a local college. JT, Jr saw the results his 9th grade year and has been pretty much self-motivated (with an occasional goose) since then. Guess as a dad, I still consider myself vested in him--but that'll change when he's off to college.

Mine and my son's baseball passion came as quite a surprise to me! First, his crib came with a basketball OPP! Then, when we discovered he was a lefty, the only thought in my mind was how sweet, as my great grandfather, my father in law, and my nephew were all lefties.

I can honestly say that I have never suggested or directed my son towards baseball. His love of the game is what drove me towards it. I was always more than willing to support him, but every game and every practice he ever attended he did so 100% under his own motivation. There was never one time I heard him say, "I don't want to do that" or "I'm tired".

In a reference letter last year, his HS coach discussed son's love for baseball, including the fact that he was always the first kid there and the last one to leave. I think it's been his dream since the first day of t-ball.

Through his love of the wonderful game, I learned and began to love it just as much as he. Well, probably almost as much!

Mine is close to JT's and Veryproud's experience. Youth ball days, he wrote the occasional paper about "what he wanted to be". I usually needed to "encourage" him for some extra workouts, etc. Seems to always have had the desire and drive to achieve more, but really has taken off this past year.

Last summer I was able to show him the "slim" shot at a varsity starting position as a sophomore this year on a historically talented team (6 seniors already have signed college offers, 1 or 2 more probably forthcoming)...only 2 sophomores on varsity the last three years. He has since that time really worked hard at getting ahead (against the odds of being "undersized")in his skills, gaining weight, getting stronger, etc.

It has paid off as he is currently "working out" with the varsity and apparently impressing...to what extent, I'm not sure...but the internal drive has reached another level in the last 6-8 months.

Think like Lafmom's son....mine always seemed to want it....self driven. We provided lessons, etc....but he was self-motivated....and in turn I became a baseball mom....

We've had to get after him about school work, but never baseball "work"...

When my son was 9 I tried to sign him up for softball because I thought he would get hurt playing with a hardball. Well the coach almost choked on his chew "BOYS DON'T PLAY SOFTBALL!BOYS PLAY HARDBALL!" So his baseball career started... His dream I support it

For my son it was the summer before entering 6th grade. We had balanced basketball and baseball up to that point. He has always been very good at both. He was pressured by several AAU basketball teams to devote time solely to basketball over the summers. When faced with that choice he went head long toward baseball. As a senior in HS this year he still plays both. His love is all baseball. We are mid season in basketball and all he talks about yearns for is baseball!

At his baseball school this week the owner asked him how basketball was going because the local paper did an article about him improving to be one of the better basketball players in our area. His response "it sucks".

His goal of playing college baseball next year is a reality. The goal of playing pro ball, we will have to wait and see how that develops

OPP, Great topic! It’s hard to separate the two, his dream and my dream. This may not make sense but I’m still chasing a dream. I feel as if we’re in the same corner but the dream I’m chasing is not baseball. The dream I’m chasing is seeing him accomplish what he has worked so hard for. Like you, I put the ball in his hand before he could walk and made the underhand throws to the little boy so he could hit the ball. I signed him up for “T” ball and played toss in the yard. I taught him how to throw the curve ball and showed him how to bat but I think we all do that. I guess I realized he had a real commitment to his dream when he was about twelve and I was driving him 90 miles to Memphis everyday so he could practice with the best team around. I was starting to feel guilty because I was dedicating so much of HIS time to baseball. He looked at me during one of the boring trips and said;”Dad, I really appreciate you doing this for me”. I felt a big relief because I realized then that I wasn’t pushing him, I was following him.
Fungo

quote:

I pose this question because ALL of us Dads(and probably some of you Moms too) are guilty of putting a glove in our son's crib at the hospital delivery room or shortly there-after(and I really did wish that mine would turn out to be left-handed )....

OPP, I just realized that it is my husband's fault for putting a little righty glove in the hospital bassinet 19 years ago. If Bob had started the HSBBWeb a few years earlier, he might have known to get that other glove!

I will plead guilty. One of my first thoughts when I saw we had a son was...
"switch hitting catcher!"
(my wife's thought was...
...that's it, we're DONE)

In our house, for many years, it was less about the destination and more about the journey. Son had fun playing the game, and learned about setting short term goals.

At some point, his short term goals mutated into long term goals. I'd estimate he was 16, and fighting through a hitting slump in his sophomore year, when he started showing the internal fire that was fueled by something other than Mom and Dad's encouragement or the simple joy of being on the field with his buddies.

..it was on 0-2 on the monitor in the delivery room.

Worked the count to 3-2 over the years.

Waiting on a fastball on the outside black.

quote:

Originally posted by OnePlayer'sPop:
"At what age do you(the parent) quit "suggesting" the way and allow your son's baseball desires to become the driving force toward his ultimate baseball level?"

Mine is only 13 so he still needs a nudge here and there. But he talks pretty frequently about playing in college and talking about which colleges would be good choices. So I guess the embers are smoldering, just not quite a burning desire yet though. But I think that's because he's in 3 sports now (football & basketball too) and contemplating a 4th (track) but he's already thinking that he won't bother with basketball in HS so he can workout for baseball over the winter.

quote:

Originally posted by Fungo:
It’s hard to separate the two, his dream and my dream. This may not make sense but I’m still chasing a dream.

Great reply fungo!

Parents dreams many times parallel the kids dreams. As time goes on the distance may increase but the dreams still touch.

In our case baseball was the farthest thing from my mind. My son signed up fpr fastball at 5 because his sisters were playing and we could walk there from our house. There was a 4 yr spread in age and he was the worst player on the team He even dropped the game losing championship ball. Nothing bothered him then and nothing does today. at 9 yo he asked to play hard ball like the Jays played and a top player on his FB team did. We signed him up thinking house league but every HL had to tryout for Allstar unless he really didn't want to. He went and was carded witch means they could call him up if they needed him. There were 11 teams in rookie ball HL and he was lucky he had a coach who played in the minors for Boston who took an interest in him because he was a smooth lefty. They used a pitching machine at that age but he kept talking Pitching next year in his favourite ball park.
A short time into the season the Allstar coach kept coming to watch him play as he started to stand out. It was like you turned a switch and I was surprised nyself although I saw nice rotation in his arm and he seemed to pick everything up so easy. He was called up to the allstar team permanantly but would only go if he could still play for his HL team. The league ruled that he could and so he ran from one team to another some times changing in our van. From that time on I knew he was a ball player. Even to this day if he has an essay to do if he can fit baseball in that is what he writes about. Who would have ever thought that little guy would be playing D1 NCAA baseball. I was not really into sports since my university days.
I believe it was his dream that evolved and it became my dream to support him. I also remember driving him to games were he looked really tired and asking him if he still wanted to play and I got the short answer. He is a young man of few words and i gave him lots of outs. I even worry about him being so involved and what if he dosen't make it all the way. The odds are stacked against him but he keeps surprising me.

Wow! Great topic and very nice posts by all.

It's always been his dream, ever since he learned how to hit at 18 mos. But when did he start getting serious? I suppose he always thought he was taking it seriously.

But we often judge a young man on his ability to act responsibly. When he was 13 he decided that having me as his coach was just too personal. He told me, "I love that you're my Dad, but I want to play for someone else."

Look, I'd be happy if he were successful at anything, and I'll still do anything for him, if he asks. But he loves baseball, and his passion for the game sold me on the dream a long time ago. I will surely be devastated if and when he stops playing, but only because it means the dream ends...his dream.

The experience will be with him forever and I'm sure the dream will be renewed with his son one day.

Love the posts in this thread

I am in the camp that my dream was completely inspired from his dream. All I knew about baseball when he was young was rec league ball as was played in my youth. He begged me to play this thing call travel ball and I reluctantly agreed because I wasn't sure I could make the travel commitments. Wow - what was I thinking back then?

In our case, it was always their dream... Not that I didn't dream as well... It's just that my dreams, about them, don't count... There's do!

i know everyone has said it but this is a great question it makes us all stop and think.i loved sports for as long as i can remember.but baseball was my favorite.and we played them everyday in season.in the parking lot the playground and once in a while a field.i played mens softball until about 7 years ago.so my boys would come to games and watch dad.i didn't realize it at the time but they watched guys they knew.dive, slide,just play hard all the time.you know how competitive grown men are.i think they took alot of the drive from those guys. we played pass from the time they could standup it seems.and i may have proded some along the way,the moment of change from my dream to theirs was about 13 year aau,when they acheived success.on their own.a realization that they have some talent.i have two boys a lefty and a righty,who i am very proud of and love to death but more than that ,i like them.
i enjoy their company, they are fun to be around.......well not always.i wish all of you and your sons success and happiness in whatever you choose.and thanks for making me look back ,we don't do that enough.

For my oldest (only 12) it has been his dream since Kindergarten. We have the clipping in the paper that states his dream when he is older. He was influenced by a teacher/family friend that turned him into a Yankee fan . Basically it started with us just signing him up for LL. His own desire to become the best he can has been his own. Never been a time that we had to ask him if he's practiced or whatever. All on his own. He's already made short and long term goals on his own. We just encourage him and enjoy the ride. Although I have quite a few bumps and bruises helping him acheive those goals. The others we have offered the same opportunity. The 10 yo likes it but thinks about playing football instead. Whatever, as long as they are learning and staying active we are happy. There are times though, I admit, I see Zack's dream and smile because it would be pretty amazing to see him on some mound somewhere with the crowds cheering, game on the line, and me saying to my neighbor "that's my son out there!"

This is a thought provoking thread... The baseball dream, from the beginning, has been my son’s dream. I say that because my dream was watching him rain three pointers on the hardwood. He started playing league basketball at 4 years old. He was the kid who was always shooting baskets in the front yard. Some of his most joyful moments from the time he was 7 or 8 years old was beating his sister’s dates in a game of h-o-r-s-e while she finished getting ready. Man, that was fun to watch! Yes, he was a hoopster... In fact, his screen name, up until he was 13 years old, was “fromthearc.” Early on our Son played tee ball but gave up the game until he was about 10 and played LL with his buddies. Sometime around 12 years old he caught the baseball bug. At 13 he gave up basketball. It has been a blast everyday since then. My wife and I get to travel every weekend in the Summer and Fall as well as 25 or so HS games in the Spring. We know everyone of his friends (and the parents) and get to spend quality time with them (and him) almost every day.

My son is a better man because of baseball. He has been blessed with some wonderful coaches and made some friends for life. Yes, it is his dream, and I am so proud of him for working as hard as he does to make that dream come true.

When my son arrived, it had been more than 20 years since a boy had been born to our family, so that kid got everything my 4 brothers (whose wives had given birth to girls) had been wanting to buy - footballs, baseballs, basketballs, remote control trucks - you know, all the stuff a newborn baby boy needs. My dad and all of my brothers had been athletes, but my husband was not, so I (who never had any kind of sports dream) was the one who played catch (and legos, and trucks).

When jr was 4 1/2, I became a single mom did my best to raise my son the way my parents raised me and my brothers. I watched for his interests and followed his lead. When he was 5, I signed himup for s******, at 8, he wanted to play baseball, and I signed him up there, too. At 9 he added football and snowboarding, and at 10 basketball. When spring s***** collided with baseball and fall baseball with football, I instituted the "one sport per season rule". He went with baseball in the spring, football in the fall, and snowboarding in between.

Our town has two different baseball leagues, one of which was a higher level of play than the other. At 10, a football coach told him he should try out for the higher level program and he was drafted to the majors in the 1st round. The team had a head coach (Coach O), a pitching coach (Coach R), and a hitting coach. The head coach had a rule that no rookie was allowed to pitch, but the pitching coach, who I later learned had been coaching in our town for more than 30 years, told my son "you're a pitcher. I can see it. Coach O doesn't believe it, but I know and I'm going to train you. We'll start early - before next season." He told my son that several times, but late in the fall, my son suffered a football injury and he wasn't able to train to pitch. It was okay, though, because Coach R kept telling him "its allright, we'll start next season. I know you've got what it takes and I'm going to train you. You're a pitcher" That fall, just after my son's 12th birthday, Coach R passed away. Following Coach's funeral service, my son made his decision. He said, "I'm going to prove to everyone that Coach was right about me." And he's been proving Coach R right ever since.

He's still a multi-sport athlete, but now his off-season sports compliment his pitching and he trains for baseball year round. His dream is to pitch in the college world series and to one day coach. I don't know if he'll get there, but I'm going to support him every step of the way.

Nice story Mom. I, as a single mother, have always had a one sport at a time rule for both of my children (often you can't prevent overlaps). My son gave up his fall ball one time when he was ten to play football. He's always been a "physical" kid who loved sports and being active. But that fall will always be remembered as a defining moment - I can visualize the drool on his face as we'd drive by the baseball fields that he wasn't a part of that fall! It's just a huge part of his heart!

KmomNH - great post

Had a tinge of infielddad's post called the dash. BTW, the dash thread should be moved to classic threads imho.

Not really sure when it started with my son-as my son moved along in the early stages he was playing all the various sports (baseball, football, basketball even s***er). Was never much thought or discussion to long term plans/hopes.

I first became aware of his feelings about it though during a meeting with his school counselor in middle school (7th or 8th grade as I recall). It's sort of a transition interview the school holds to see where the child is at, their interests and where they are heading into high school.

Among the various questions the counselor asked my son was the proverbial what he wanted to be "when he grew up". without hesitation he said a professional baseball player. the Counselor sorta gave me a little nod and wink and turned back to my son and said, no seriously, what are you looking to study, what do you hope to be. without missing a beat and with a surprising sterness to his voice he repeated-a professional baseball player.

so the counselor tried a different approach and said well what if that doesn't work out, what are you interested in pursuing. He looked completely puzzled as if there was no possibility this wouldn't work out and just repeated, I plan on being a professional baseball player. This went on for several minutes and my son never waivered. I knew then he had the dream.

ClevelandDad:

Where on this great, wide HSBBW can a person find the dash?

Thanks!

gotwood,

It appeared in a thread started by Fungo entitled: Positive Influences

On the second page of the thread, infielddad talked about the dash. See if you agree that should be in the golden threads.

What a great thread, made me look back and think a bit. There was never any doubt that it my son's dream and we threw every roadblock up that you could imagine, unwittingly of course. Our dream was for him to play any sport he wanted as a kid and be good enough so that no one shouted "oh no not him" or "we should have two picks if we have to pick him." To accomplish that my husband took a natural lefty and turned him into a righty so that he could enjoy his career in little league and not be pigeonholed at first base. It gets worse. I wouldn't let him play summer baseball because I thought it would be more fun to go to camp and have lots of different activities. I forced him to take swim, tennis, and golf lessons because you can't play baseball when you graduate high school (he wanted hitting instruction). I guess we should have realized when he put the T-ball uniform on and he had that look like he signed a major league contract.

Good news though, we are reconciled, fully supportive, and no longer in his way.

Nice topic OPP. I do remember something similar to this, perhaps posted by our great Fungomaster.
Going to be a bit different here on this one.

I think so many of us grew up loving the game we naturally hope that our sons will as well. When we get to the point that we think maybe he has what it takes, we use our parental influence to try to help him to REALIZE his dream. After all, we are the ones who coach our sons teams, buy the equipment, pay for lessons, travel teams and even sometimes express our desires as to which team we favor him playing for in college, contact scouts, advisors. We also are the ones who write out the questionaires (come on folks fess up), all in pursuit of the dream. Which of course is to see our son step out on a MLB ballfield one day, either after HS or college.

What we need ot learn is that once they leave home, we have very little control over the dream anymore. It is entirely up to them to make it happen, they are on their own. There is nothing you can to if he is late to class, late to practice, misses the bus, not studyng, not working harder in conditioning, spending off season doing nothing, partying too much. The dream is theirs and the control becomes exclusively theirs.
Of course we can still participate by watching, listening and supporting. You can still dream your dreams, that shouldn't stop until the day comes your son says he is done dreaming.
Until then DREAM ON parents.

I knew my boy was on his own when his t-ball coach threatened to kick him off the team cause he kept stealing bases;-) The little guy just could't understand why the big guys could and he couldn't!!! He hasn't looked back and will be graduating in June. He wants to play at the next level but had to sit out last season. I think it has made him stronger as his desire and dream is stronger than ever!

As I have posted several times, I don't have a son but do have a daughter age 12. She has said that she wants to make the Olympic Team to play softball. (Another story and I don't have the heart to tell her!) She wanted to hit 150 balls a day, get her fielding work in and pitch. She did all through the summer and did most of the school year. About a month ago in the middle of basketball season, she said that she just couldn't get the grades, play basketball and practice softball every night. No problem with me. She still wants to get her softball work in and does about 3 days a week. It has to come from the child in the first place. Otherwise, it is work and you are just kidding yourself.

As Mike and the Mechanics said in thier song The Living Years:

I know that i'm a prisoner
To all my father held so dear
I know that i'm a hostage
To all his hopes and fears
I just wish i could have told him in the living years


JMHO!

It should be their dream from the beginning---not daddies and mommies

In the beginning, it's mommy and daddy's responsibility to help their young kids FIND their dream and then support that dream. Most parent's dream is to see their kids have a dream, find the passion and work hard to TRY and fulfill that dream.

Sometimes it works out but lots of the time dreams go unfulfilled. It's a parents responsibility also to be there with support if dreams are not fulfilled by there kids.

Sorry for the sappy thought but it is what it is.

Great post everyone!!
There have been several times in my son's baseball life that I get reminded that he wants this dream he is living. The earliest I have is when he was in first yr baseball, he was our SS and a pitcher. He went to his dad after a game and said "Dad, how do I touch the ball every single play and not just be a pitcher?" His dad told him he'd have to be the catcher. Matt said teach me how to be a catcher.
There are so many times thru out the past 15 yrs watching him develop into the player and the man he is, that they are too nummerous to mention. He like every other player has hopes of playing pro ball someday...so we are waiting for the rest of the story!!! If he doesn't get to play after college I feel he still made the choices it took to be where he is now in this dream. All we have done and continue doing is offer the opportunities to help him achieve the goals he has set for himself.

Four years ago you would have gotten a different answer from me, as I am very competitive.

My twelve year old daughter has always played sports for the social aspects (and has told me this on several occasions). Took me some time to come to grips with this, but she has fun and thats all that is important.

My 14 year old boy is different. Very competitive and athletic. In my opinion, his focus started narrowing two years ago when he started playing for a more competitive baseball team that traveled extensively. This past fall he chose not to play basketball. My wife and I thought this would allow us some down time, since this would be the first time since he was five, that he hadn't competed...A SEASON OFF. Didn't work that way. Since the end of football (he is a left handed quarterback), he has been hitting or pitching an average of five days a week. So much for down time.

Sorry for rambling on, but to answer your question, there was not one point in time, but a slow gradual process he went through to get to where he is now. He is highly determined to make it to the next level in baseball. That was his choice.

I never really looked at it as a dream - for the boys or for us. Baseball has always been a big part of the family's activities - just something that we always had in our lives - including my mom and dad as well. (And even my Grandad and uncle on my mom's side)

The one dream I will confess to when my boys were young - The desire to see them on a competitive field of play - in any sport. (Baseball preferred of course - LOL)

It has so much to offer - the ups and downs - the challenges and the excitement.

I guess that was my one selfish dream - to see them compete athletically.

Ours is known to most of his teammates and coaches as "stoneface." He rarely if ever shows an ounce of emotion when he is between the lines and does not wear his emotions on his sleeve off the field.
What we have learned is that it was always his dream, but not one he talked about. Will never forget sitting with him having breakfast in Boston in August of 2003. He had just completed a really fine summer season in the NECBL and had opportunities at some DI programs that seemed awfully attractive. As we talked, the focus of his comments became the draft. Ultimately he confided that the only reason he would move from his DIII to a DI was the draft. He told me he didn't care if he was the last person picked in the 50th round, he had to get drafted and he had to have a chance to prove himself. If that meant transferring schools to get there, then he would do it. Until then, we truly had no idea of the intensity of his dream. Later, a teacher shared a portion of a journal he wrote when in 8th grade and we learned that love of the game, that dream and passion about baseball burned even then.