My son also isn't very emotional. To keep myself in check, I always try to ask him first before signing him up for sports or clinics, practicing, etc. Nearly always, he says "Well, yeah!?," incredulous that I'd even ask. So, I guess I'm on the right track with enabling, rather than pushing.
He's 13 still, so his dreams are a bit nebulous (at least in terms of disciplined work toward fulfilling them). His first word as a baby was "ball," he has said that he wanted to be a pro ballplayer since he was about 4, and even with all of the 8th grade "make a decision about your future goals" programs that he's had this year, he still listed "athlete" as his career goal on his high school course selector. So, I guess his desires are starting to firm up a little.
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BTW, OPP, my dad went to the last leg of the Pirates Caravan last night in Cumberland, MD. He got balls autographed for me & my son from Zach, Jason Bay, Jim Tracy, Bob Walk, & Greg Brown. My dad couldn't believe how everyone seemed genuinely nice. I guess you can tell OPP Jr. thanks!
nice thread, worth another look.
For both my children, it's always been their dream, not mine. I know my roll, I have the checkbook!
GED10DaD
GED10DaD
quote:Originally posted by GunEmDown10:
For both my children, it's always been their dream, not mine. I know my roll, I have the checkbook!
GED10DaD
ain't that the truth!
but it's worth every penny. i love watching the kid play ball.
I started reading this thread on page 1 not realizing this was a thread from a few years ago.....then I got to JT's post and it hit me that this was from the past. Nice to remember JT and see one of his old posts, he is missed.
Now that mine has entered his post-playing days, it's sort of fun to reminisce about certain parts of the journey that got him to this point. This thread elicits one of my strongest such memories.
He was in the 6th grade; and, at the time, he was arguably a better basketball player than a baseball player. In any case, he came to me one day and said, "Dad, I think if I work really hard at it, I can play baseball past high school."
Caught off guard, I sort of chuckled and replied, "Well, Robert, who knows?! However, you seem to really love the game and have good ability; so, I think it's a great goal to have."
I went on, "I also think you've put your finger on what will do the most to get you there...hard work. Your mother and I will have little to do with the accomplishment of your goal. Your hard work between now and the end of high school will provide 95% of what it'll take to get you there."
From then on, it was "Katy bar the door." Every time we looked around, he was doing something related to baseball; and, that has continued to this day (albeit in a different form).
As I reflect upon it, though, here's what means the most to me...and it has nothing to do with baseball. It could have been one of any number of other passions he'd expressed that day, and my encouragement would have sounded essentially the same.
What really means something to me as a parent looking back is that he understood that there was a vital link between passion and ability at one end of the journey and success at the other end. That vital link was consistent dedication to the achievement of his goal; otherwise known as "hard work." It's a valuable lesson; that whether his goals continued to be in baseball or some other chosen field later in life, he'd know that hard work was the single-most important ingredient in a recipe for success.
He was in the 6th grade; and, at the time, he was arguably a better basketball player than a baseball player. In any case, he came to me one day and said, "Dad, I think if I work really hard at it, I can play baseball past high school."
Caught off guard, I sort of chuckled and replied, "Well, Robert, who knows?! However, you seem to really love the game and have good ability; so, I think it's a great goal to have."
I went on, "I also think you've put your finger on what will do the most to get you there...hard work. Your mother and I will have little to do with the accomplishment of your goal. Your hard work between now and the end of high school will provide 95% of what it'll take to get you there."
From then on, it was "Katy bar the door." Every time we looked around, he was doing something related to baseball; and, that has continued to this day (albeit in a different form).
As I reflect upon it, though, here's what means the most to me...and it has nothing to do with baseball. It could have been one of any number of other passions he'd expressed that day, and my encouragement would have sounded essentially the same.
What really means something to me as a parent looking back is that he understood that there was a vital link between passion and ability at one end of the journey and success at the other end. That vital link was consistent dedication to the achievement of his goal; otherwise known as "hard work." It's a valuable lesson; that whether his goals continued to be in baseball or some other chosen field later in life, he'd know that hard work was the single-most important ingredient in a recipe for success.
We can all say that at this point or that point we would let it become THEIR dream but, IMHO, as long as a kid acknowledges the fact that Mom/Dad are still part of the "dream" it remains "our dream". Whats so wrong about that?
My wife's friend who is also a nurse, has a son whos lifelong dream has been to become a doctor. As a family they studied the sciences together, talked about the mental/physical aspects of the medical field, future direction of specific studies, and experienced the successes and failures of that long road together.
Sound familiar?
At a party after his Doctorate was presented he made a speech that thanked his mother for living his dream with him, and because of her being there, he was at the place his dream was intended.
My wife's friend who is also a nurse, has a son whos lifelong dream has been to become a doctor. As a family they studied the sciences together, talked about the mental/physical aspects of the medical field, future direction of specific studies, and experienced the successes and failures of that long road together.
Sound familiar?
At a party after his Doctorate was presented he made a speech that thanked his mother for living his dream with him, and because of her being there, he was at the place his dream was intended.
quote:Originally posted by Prepster:
What really means something to me as a parent looking back is that he understood that there was a vital link between passion and ability at one end of the journey and success at the other end. That vital link was consistent dedication to the achievement of his goal; otherwise known as "hard work." It's a valuable lesson; that whether his goals continued to be in baseball or some other chosen field later in life, he'd know that hard work was the single-most important ingredient in a recipe for success.
My son's was about 8yrs old. He said are you going to sign me up to play baseball, from that time on for the last 12 yrs. its been his choice.
We have had one rule that he is told each time he signs up, "If you decide to play, you can't quit, I don't care if you are the best player or the worst player on the team it doesn't matter. You have made the commitment and you are going to keep it."
I am proud to say that he has never asked even though he has been on some very good and very bad teams. He has always played until they were done.
We have had one rule that he is told each time he signs up, "If you decide to play, you can't quit, I don't care if you are the best player or the worst player on the team it doesn't matter. You have made the commitment and you are going to keep it."
I am proud to say that he has never asked even though he has been on some very good and very bad teams. He has always played until they were done.
Very valuable thread for those of us with pre-high school kids. Some really thoughtful and diverse responses. Thanks to everyone who's contributed so far.
I was an athlete with a modest collegiate "career." (not in baseball). Personally, I find I am perpetually referring to my life experience in talking to my son about his dreams, but I try to avoid influencing him. I want his path to be his alone, completely inspired by his aspirations and ability. And if he puts in the work, he'll go farther than I ever could.
That said, he's shooting for the moon. As a 7th grader he's already certain he'll play D1 college baseball and then pro-ball. He's already sure which schools he's targeting. But to me that means he needs to learn the value of putting in work now to be prepared for later. So the only input I ever give him is to remind him that the guys he'll be competing with for spots at those colleges come from places where they can practice outside all year. Or they're kids from off the farm that are already twice as big and strong as he because of the work they have to put in at home etc. Maybe there's a bit of mythology here, but it helps him accept the work he needs to do now to be prepared for later.
I absolutely do offer these types of observations when his motivation flags. Being reminded that he's been accepted into a prestigious baseball club with superior coaching and conditioning programs, almost always helps him get into his prescribed home workout. Fortunately, he has no trouble rising to his team practices and workouts. So like many already commented here, I keep my input limited to little reminders necessary to nudge the work out of him.
If I have any dreams for him, it's just a humble desire to see him play successful HS ball in a perennially competitive conference here in the Seattle area. That appears to be where he's headed at least. But if he acheives anything approaching his dreams, that would be gravy for me!
I was an athlete with a modest collegiate "career." (not in baseball). Personally, I find I am perpetually referring to my life experience in talking to my son about his dreams, but I try to avoid influencing him. I want his path to be his alone, completely inspired by his aspirations and ability. And if he puts in the work, he'll go farther than I ever could.
That said, he's shooting for the moon. As a 7th grader he's already certain he'll play D1 college baseball and then pro-ball. He's already sure which schools he's targeting. But to me that means he needs to learn the value of putting in work now to be prepared for later. So the only input I ever give him is to remind him that the guys he'll be competing with for spots at those colleges come from places where they can practice outside all year. Or they're kids from off the farm that are already twice as big and strong as he because of the work they have to put in at home etc. Maybe there's a bit of mythology here, but it helps him accept the work he needs to do now to be prepared for later.
I absolutely do offer these types of observations when his motivation flags. Being reminded that he's been accepted into a prestigious baseball club with superior coaching and conditioning programs, almost always helps him get into his prescribed home workout. Fortunately, he has no trouble rising to his team practices and workouts. So like many already commented here, I keep my input limited to little reminders necessary to nudge the work out of him.
If I have any dreams for him, it's just a humble desire to see him play successful HS ball in a perennially competitive conference here in the Seattle area. That appears to be where he's headed at least. But if he acheives anything approaching his dreams, that would be gravy for me!
tres_arboles:
It sounds like you're son's squarely on the right path, thanks to your good guidance.
One tangible thing you might consider is giving him the opportunity to attend a high quality baseball camp where players have the opportunity to work outside all year long (i.e. Southern California or Arizona). In our case, we went to a DI college camp in Florida over the holidays.
He was 13 at the time and probably the youngest one there. Most campers were high school-aged, and they were excellent examples of the sort of competition you describe.
He'd tell you that it made a huge impression on him. It opened his eyes to the level of baseball he'd need to grow into in order to compete later. It acquainted him with a bit of the DI baseball environment; the coaches and the facilities. Last, but not least, he came away confident that with enough consistent effort, he could develop into a player like those with whom he'd spent 3 days.
We returned to that school's camp a couple of times over the next couple of years, and we talked a number of other dedicated young players from our area into doing so, as well. As he aged, he gravitated toward camps at schools that became increasingly attractive to him.
Best of luck to your son!
It sounds like you're son's squarely on the right path, thanks to your good guidance.
One tangible thing you might consider is giving him the opportunity to attend a high quality baseball camp where players have the opportunity to work outside all year long (i.e. Southern California or Arizona). In our case, we went to a DI college camp in Florida over the holidays.
He was 13 at the time and probably the youngest one there. Most campers were high school-aged, and they were excellent examples of the sort of competition you describe.
He'd tell you that it made a huge impression on him. It opened his eyes to the level of baseball he'd need to grow into in order to compete later. It acquainted him with a bit of the DI baseball environment; the coaches and the facilities. Last, but not least, he came away confident that with enough consistent effort, he could develop into a player like those with whom he'd spent 3 days.
We returned to that school's camp a couple of times over the next couple of years, and we talked a number of other dedicated young players from our area into doing so, as well. As he aged, he gravitated toward camps at schools that became increasingly attractive to him.
Best of luck to your son!
tre_arboles - I loved your post. My kids are coming home tonight for our first Thanksgiving since Rightyshortstop and our youngest left for college in September. We are very excited. With the kids friends and cousins we have 12 extra people sleeping in our, otherwise empty nest on Wednesday and Thursday.
Our son always wanted to be a Doctor and your post reminded me of our son watching the college world series on TV when he was a 7th grader. "Is Rice a good school, Dad?" he yelled to me from the other room. "Rice is a GREAT!! school, rightyshortstop" I called back. "If I play baseball at Rice will I DEFINITELY get into medical school or play in the big leagues?" Who am I to argue with the career choice of a 12 year old? So, I said "Yes, you will definitely get into medical school if you play baseball at Rice." That became the dream, right there. Get into Rice.
He went to camp at Rice at 14, he went to an interview at the end of sophomore year, we have friends in Houston, so he visited campus again as a Junior! he stayed in touch with everyone there....
He's playing baseball at Swarthmore. He's an Economics major. Things change - dreams are the engine of change.
Our son always wanted to be a Doctor and your post reminded me of our son watching the college world series on TV when he was a 7th grader. "Is Rice a good school, Dad?" he yelled to me from the other room. "Rice is a GREAT!! school, rightyshortstop" I called back. "If I play baseball at Rice will I DEFINITELY get into medical school or play in the big leagues?" Who am I to argue with the career choice of a 12 year old? So, I said "Yes, you will definitely get into medical school if you play baseball at Rice." That became the dream, right there. Get into Rice.
He went to camp at Rice at 14, he went to an interview at the end of sophomore year, we have friends in Houston, so he visited campus again as a Junior! he stayed in touch with everyone there....
He's playing baseball at Swarthmore. He's an Economics major. Things change - dreams are the engine of change.
Amazing how the word dream evokes so many views and so many responses in a topic.
BTW, for those that are relatively new here and don't know this, the OP (OPP) son plays proball, ML pitcher.
Dream = playing baseball for many after HS, preferably to get paid for it.
We often referred it more in our situation as to working towards specific goals, dreams consisted of participating in the olympics as a gymnast, being on TV performing as a great magician (the next Houdini and inquired about scholarships in college), hockey player and winning the Master's.
However, year to year, the one constant was always baseball, never missed a game, never a practice. Don't think he really understood until he was first year in HS what he really had to do to get that opportunity.
Our dreams, healthy happy kids that is all that matters, really. It's amazing how much healthy happy kids can accomplish, when they set their minds to it.
Good post tres_arboles. They need to understand how hard they have to work, lots of kids today (no offense to anyone) think it's gonna be easy. They are kind of used to having lots given to them, without even working hard for it.
BTW, for those that are relatively new here and don't know this, the OP (OPP) son plays proball, ML pitcher.
Dream = playing baseball for many after HS, preferably to get paid for it.
We often referred it more in our situation as to working towards specific goals, dreams consisted of participating in the olympics as a gymnast, being on TV performing as a great magician (the next Houdini and inquired about scholarships in college), hockey player and winning the Master's.
However, year to year, the one constant was always baseball, never missed a game, never a practice. Don't think he really understood until he was first year in HS what he really had to do to get that opportunity.
Our dreams, healthy happy kids that is all that matters, really. It's amazing how much healthy happy kids can accomplish, when they set their minds to it.
Good post tres_arboles. They need to understand how hard they have to work, lots of kids today (no offense to anyone) think it's gonna be easy. They are kind of used to having lots given to them, without even working hard for it.
The boy has had lots of dreams,which we've happily underwritten. His current goals will be met through the reality of hard work, perserverance and a little luck.
quote:However, year to year, the one constant was always baseball, never missed a game, never a practice. Don't think he really understood until he was first year in HS what he really had to do to get that opportunity.
Our dreams, healthy happy kids that is all that matters, really. It's amazing how much healthy happy kids can accomplish, when they set their minds to it.
Good post tres_arboles. They need to understand how hard they have to work, lots of kids today (no offense to anyone) think it's gonna be easy. They are
I agree. For my son, when he was three and he received his first plastic tee with a ball (and not even from us LOL), he had this little red helmet and he would hit the ball off the tee and run and slide.I have video of him.I would say who are you?He would say Neon Deon.I am like how does he know who that is.LOL
We just sort of knew all along, he always played with such passion, have his uniform out the night before and set it on his desk.had to have the eye black.He just was born to play baseball.Its weird but looking back I would say as each level came he rose to the occasion to meet those expectations.
He continues to do that today.BUT with that said we paid for all of it.So parents have to be willing to support the dream.
And he is now getting a very expensive education being paid for substantially by scholarship, so he did his part to qualify academically and athletically.
quote:We can all say that at this point or that point we would let it become THEIR dream but, IMHO, as long as a kid acknowledges the fact that Mom/Dad are still part of the "dream" it remains "our dream". Whats so wrong about that?
Rz,
Nothing is wrong with that.We watch from the time they are 4-5 years old.we support them financially, we drive them to practices until they drive themselves,we invest emotioanlly as we watch them succeed at each level.We go with them to pick out that new special glove, and the new bats.We play catch, we hit them grounders, we hit them fly balls.
We are excited for their first all stars, their first everything.We are with them when they sign their NLI.As parents we dream with our kids.We love our children so much, and we all want them to succeed.
But at a certain point it really becomes their thing.As many know the work it takes to be a varsity starter, and then to play in college is so hard.
I beleive there is not a parent on this planet who can make a kid play at the college level unless it is absolutely their dream.The amt. of time, work and all of it is incredible.
It has to be their dream, and their heart 100%.
When my son was in 7th grade he announced that he wanted to switch from the outfield to catching, because he has a better chance at playing professional baseball as a catcher. I had no clue before then. So I'd say 7th grade was a big year, but more importantly, every year he increases the intensity of his commitment. We will see where it takes him.