Why you should sit back and enjoy the ride

Great post! Welcome back!

I agree.  Great post.  I have seen the same thing on numerous occasions.  I am very proud of my son that he is still playing in his junior year of college, at the same school  I have seen lots of kids stop playing baseball and a lot change schools thinking the grass is greener.  I have found it highly unusual for kids to stick it out all 4 years.  It's not easy and those of us who have kids still playing at that point should be proud.  And let your kid know you are proud of him.  

So, I am still enjoying the ride.  I know it will be over soon, so I am trying to enjoy every minute I can.  HS went by SO quickly.  And now I can't believe my son is a junior in college.  Where in the world did all the time go????

Astrocrazy,

Welcome back.

Based on your IP address, I know who you are and can give you access to your old profile if you don't want to start over.  Send me a dialog if you want your old user name back.

Regards,

Good to have you back. Players work very hard to get the opportunity to play college baseball. There is much invested. But something happens when kids get to the college ranks. For the first time in many of their baseball lives everyone can play. Everyone is very dedicated. Everyone has invested a great deal. Everyone is willing to invest a great deal more. Some have not had to work as hard to get there. Some have never struggled to the degree they are about to struggle. Many have never sat the bench. Many have never failed to the degree they are about to fail. Many have never had to invest so much for apparently so little. Many have never worked so hard only to find themselves eating seeds and watching for 3 hours. Many have never felt the pressure they are feeling. Many have never felt the feeling of not being the man. Many have never had to grind to get on the field. Many think they have competed for playing time. Now they are finding out what competing for playing time truly is.

Now there doing this in an environment that is totally new to them. No home cooking. No Mom and Dad to go home to. Team mates that are not their friends. Team mates that are working very hard to see that they sit on the bench. Team mates that they may not like as people. Team mates playing head games. Coaches that don't seem like the same guys that recruited them. Coaches that earn a living by winning games. Coaches that push them harder than most have ever been pushed. Coaches that don't care if they are having a bad day or not. Academic work loads many have never faced. And the list goes on and on and on.

They see the writing on the wall. I am going to have to do this and this is all I am going to get? I am going to have to work this hard and this is all I am going to get? Boy baseball just isn't as fun as it was in HS. Boy baseball shouldn't be a job. Boy baseball in college just wasn't what I expected it to be. And that list goes on and on.

Struggles build character and reveal it. Sometimes those thornes you see in HS are what prepare a young man for success in college. And more importantly in life. Sometimes its not the talent issue its the desire to grind issue. For those that have never had to grind having to learn how to grind at this level is too much for them. For those that have learned to grind before they get there, it's all good.

Look, toughness is critical. Go watch a college game. Go watch a series. A 3 game series. Tell me how many players never see the field. Tell me how many only see a couple of situational at bats. Tell me how many arms never throw a pitch or face one or two batters. Now tell me how many less hours they worked than the ones that do?

Playing college baseball is an up and down fight. It's a marathon not a sprint. Its a quest to finish well. It's not defined by anything other than that young man knowing he finished the race to his absolute best. And the rewards are not defined by the draft. Not defined by awards that can be hung on a wall. Not defined by the press clippings. They are defined in ways that only that individual knows down in his heart. And the fact is that is all that matters.

Great post.  I am the father of a HS sophomore on a good Varsity team, and while I do think about the next level and helping the kid prepare for that if he wants it and if it's available, I do wonder if it's worth it for all the reasons you and Coach May bring up. That decision will be up to him.

I really do think I am taking your advice and enjoying the ride now. I wish I could say that I do not worry. But I do.  Big game Thursday.  Will he be in the starting lineup? Probably. Will he do well?  Hopefully. That's what makes me anxious.  But not all that much, as there's nothing I can do about it. His success is in his own very capable hands. 

Every aspiring college player should read this post.

Great post Coach May!

It is very true! My son may select not to play at college level at all to focus on study when he gets to a college. It is time to truly enjoy it.

As always everything Coach May has to say is straight forward and truthful.  I always find myself agreeing with his take on most everything. And I agree with his latest post.

At the same time, even though college baseball is not for everyone, for those that actually play at that level it can be some of the very best years of their life.

The most fun I have ever had in baseball is coaching at colleges.

For those who stick it out, the memories will be great.  The travel, the competition, the team, the recruiting, the development, the friendships, the difficulty, I loved it all.  In fact, I truly believe college baseball is as good as it gets in many ways.  Maybe the least about the individual and the most about the team.  

Those fortunate enough to play professional baseball are involved in the individual game.  It's all about moving up the ladder until you reach the top.  It's all about personal success rather than team success. Nature of the beast!

So very true!

My daughter is halfway through her senior year.  She has has so many teammates/friends stop playing.  Playing in college in any sport isn't easy to say the least.  My wife and I are hoping that she can finish what she started and make it though the rest of this year. 

Great post Coach May. I just sent this to my son, a college senior whose playing days are winding down. This says it all and fortunately for my son, reflects a sentiment he truly embraces. Otherwise he would have bailed years ago. As an aside, I've sent other Coach May posts to my son and he's appreciated them with one exception. He is not a fan of the word "grind" since it carries a negative connotation; he prefers something more upbeat, like "power through!"

All of the posts in this topic are outstanding.

Playing after HS is a very big challenge, whether one goes to college or enters the professional game.

ENJOY THE MOMENTS THAT YOU HAVE TODAY, BECAUSE TOMORROW THEY WILL CHANGE!

Great thread and responses.  My oldest has been tested by his injury, as you know, and I was anxious to see how he would handle not being able to play this year.  He is handling it great and can't wait to get back.  He is the teams official scorekeeper, and has to report the game highlights to the newspaper etc...  I laguhed when he told e the greatest part so far this year is when he was given an official warning and threatened to be be tossed on the next for jaw jacking...On the flip side, several of his HS team mates walked away from the JC scene, just to burned out and/or tired of doing school and sports.  It's definitely not for everyone.

A Coach May classic post!

You have to grind until luck changes your way.  Luck is involved no doubt.  The guys playing in front of you can't remain hot forever.  Obviously, you can't sit on the bench hoping for someone else to fail but what you can do is be ready when your number is called. 

One day, when you least expect it, the coach will call your number if for no other reason than to send a message to the guy who might be struggling ahead of you.  While you are grinding, be the guy that does more than expected.  First to get there and last to leave.  Helping with field maintenance if necessary, shagging balls, chasing foul balls during games if necessary, carrying the water cooler, being in the best shape on the team, and all the while having the BEST attitude on the team while keeping your pie-hole closed.  Genuinely hoping for the best for your teammates but deep down praying to God, please Lord, please if I get that one chance, I won't let You down. 

Coach May - as always - great post... Hopefully we run into each other some day down at the Abbey...  We're looking to move closer to that area soon, so there should be more chances!  The last time we were their your future daughter-in-law let my wife borrow a blanket since it was *still* so dang cold and windy...

I always consider myself fortunate to have my boys still playing, still living the dream, and being able to persevere even though they weren't considered the "best" in their group of peers in HS ball.  To a large degree playing ball in HS means you're still playing with the same peers you've probably played with for years - going to college is totally different.  You have to prove yourself all over again and for some that's a difficult challenge.  Sitting a bench - hey I was a 2, 3, 4 year HS starter - "I" shouldn't sit the bench. 

I just wish when I went to games more parents around me watching their kids "live the dream" would stop trying to live through their child's dreams or still try to coach them (oy vei). It would make things so much more enjoyable.

John I sure hope so. Jean is an awesome young lady. My son met her while in college. She played soccer. She teaches in Clover, SC just down the road from Belmont Abbey. She teaches the "Special Needs Children." She is an amaziing person and I couldn't ask for a better person for my son to be with. I will be there this weekend hoping for a series win its a huge weekend for us.

I was there last weekend in Wilson. To watch my son Coach is hard to put into words. I really have no words. To watch someone do exactly what they have always wanted to do for a living and see them enjoy it that much is simply awesome. To know the whole story behind it. Well I will stop there. You see we have a plan. We got it all figured out. Then God comes along with his plan and takes the mess we create and turns it into something better than we ever imagined.

Man I know people will jump on that like a Hobo on a Ham Biscuit. That's ok. Someone will understand what I am talking about and appreciate it. I have learned that what we see as a roadblock, a tough time, bad luck is just an opportunity to prove God one more time. Prove that he makes no mistakes. And all things work together for.......................Rom 8:28. Offended I apologize for that. I will do better, maybe. Lol - have a good day.

Coach May,

I feel pretty sure that, at least as far as this site and the wisdom you constantly provide is concerned, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for!

I had dinner with my son, the college player. I had sent him Coach May's post, so I asked him what he thought of it. He said that he had skimmed it, but he hadn't had time to read it, been too busy with classes and baseball. I gave him the general gist of it, and mentioned that it described the grind of college baseball. The mental toughness required. He was in total agreement.

I also want to agree with something PG mentioned in his post. At least on my son's college team, it is all about team, not the individuals. He is much closer to his college teammates than his high school teammates, or any other team he played on. He refers to them as his brothers.

My son was "interviewed" by the local paper after he went off to JuCo.  His comments were very similar in that in HS you play with your buddies for several years, but in college you have to form team cohesiveness in a very short time and prove yourself every day.

In his case since he went the JuCo route, he had to prove himself as a starter at JuCo and then again when he went to the D2 university he's at now.

And it's amazing how much my own attitude changed.  When he was playing HS ball I tended to be uptight at games and found it difficult to relax and just enjoy the game.  Now that he's in his 3rd year of college ball, I've learned to sit back and enjoy the game whether he's in the line up or not. 

John, I hope that works out for you. Watching college games way down a baseline with Coach May is one of those experiences that has made the "ride" very special for me along the way.

Man, there are some great posts on this thread!

Sorry twotex! I must not have been fully awake!