quote:
Originally posted by MN-Mom:
CoachB25,
"Krak, if you're successful and enjoy some longevity, perhaps MN-Mom can get YOUR PICTURE on a box of Wheaties!"
Did you know that I actually CAN do that?
Hang on
Krak...she ain't fibbin'. She's no
Corn Flake. She knows her way around computers...especially the
General Mills variety.
She has access into
General Mills inner sanctum of computerology and all of that other essential electrical stuff...
a cut here and a splice there and
presto!...you,
Krak, are flashing your smiling face at us from your lofty perch on grocer's shelves all the way from Fargo, ND to Moorhead, MN and everywhere in between.
Actually that area encompasses about 30 or 40 grocery and convenience stores...the test marketing results showed that out of the total potential market area for
Wheaties worldwide your face was only marginally accepted in a narrow band along the Red River valley in the
Greater Fargo, ND/Moorhead, MN Area. That's disappointing I know, but we're trying
Krak...we really are...it's rough sledding. These
plains folks are a tough crowd...clinging to their heritage...especially the northern ones.
Convenience stores such as
Sun Mart,
Stop N' Go,
Holiday StationStore, and
Kum & Go all gave a thumbs down. Not nearly as convenient as other cereal brands they claimed. Of course the ethnic stores...
Almaeli Abbas Grocery, African Foods, Balkan Foods, Mosaic Foods, and
Old Dutch Foods...just couldn't accept your face on their shelves once they discovered your Korean connection.
Honestly I think it really has something to do with that dreaded
International Dateline that we can never manage to shake. It's a real
Axel of Evil! Someone should get an old oil tanker and put a big
Greenpeace sticker on the side and then fill it with
White Out or
Liquid Paper and sail along that dratted line with the caps off and the pumps running in the red. Be done with it once and for all! Good riddance!
Sorry for the outburst
Krak...where was I? Oh yeah...you and the
Wheaties box. A real blow to our
Stak the Krak effort came when the handful of
Hornbacher's Foods, a venerable and well respected Fargo, ND/Moorhead, MN institution for over 50 years, pulled the
Wheaties boxes with your visage...something about "not nearly Nordic enough". Nitwits! "Nattering nabobs of negativity"...a nod to William Safire for that gem he penned for Spiro. As Johnny Cochran might have said if things had turned out a tad differently..."It fits! We mustn't quit!"
After all of our actual rigorous jumping through hoops and stern talk of arm twisting this leaves you on the shelves of
Cheep Foods on 45th St.,
Little Dukes on 33rd, and the
Loaf N' Jug on University Dr. We're still trying to get you on the shelves at
West Acres All Stop Repair Center and Grocery on 13th Ave. ...the new night manager's eyesight isn't too good and that, along with his hearing being poor, gives us hope that he won't notice your mug and won't hear the inevitable customer complaints.
The
tie-in with
Wheaties and your podcast is tenuous at best...our only hope really is to pull off some good ratings in the
Greater Fargo, ND/Moorhead, MN market...we have to breathe deep and hold our breath that
Cheep Foods, Little Dukes, and the
Loaf N' Go have a banner September as we try to launch your podcast.
Here's Mom...working her Minnesota magic...finding the wires to snip and splice...
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She really does have quite the resume. Take a look at her accomplishment from the past...I can just picture her modest Minnesotan face blushing now. Don't think for a minute that this guy got his start without some pretty savvy inside help!
Wheaties and BaseballWheaties began sponsoring radio baseball broadcasts in 1933, nine years after the cereal was first introduced. The first sponsorship was on just one station --
WCCO -- but eventually sponsorship encompassed 95 stations with teams and cities throughout the country.
One of those stations was
WHO in Des Moines, Iowa, where a young broadcaster named Ronald "Old Dutch Foods" Reagan delivered play-by-play re-creations of
Chicago Cubs games from telegraph reports. "The Gipper" often had one batter foul off dozens of imaginary pitches while the telegraph was down.
In 1937, Reagan was voted the most popular
Wheaties announcer in the country and was rewarded with a trip to the
Cubs' training camp in California, all expenses paid, courtesy of
Wheaties. There he took a
Warner Brothers screen test ... the rest, as they say, is history thanks in large part to the tireless effort and technological wizardry of
Mom.
Here's "Old Dutch Foods" at the mike broadcasting for WHO. 
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If we can't get any traction with Wheaties perhaps we should give this a try? 
Build a base of listeners in the Far East. Being in Korea you're loco...sorry...I meant local...and it's a product that, some how or other, has much appeal. Hey! It might even boost the ratings in the Seattle market...that'd be huge! I'll give Mom a call...maybe she has a few tricks up her sleeve and could help out with this...I'll E-mail her a new pair of these... 
Krak... 
May the bortsch, or any other product that may help, be with you!
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