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lhmom, my comments certainly were not meant to be insulting - just to offer another view to you and others reading this from someone who has been thu it - maybe a smiley face would help

tho - on official visits the player will get the impression of the school that the coaches want you to get

if you talk to "players" & "people in know" at any school you're considering, you will find that almost all had "surprizes" that they should have seen coming in various areas their first year

of course I knew you wouldn't just drop him at the airport - - -
so anyway, how do those unsupervised "unofficial across the country visits" work?
my son was pretty mature & somewhat responsible too, but when he visited friends or former teamates unsupervised at their (local only) colleges during his hs sr year, it was called something else - - - a party Smile
Last edited by Bee>
I in no way think you are weird and you are correct, everyone's situaton is different. IMO, I would have sent him alone before I let a coach go with him. My son was very close to his coaches and he did go to them for advice, after his visits.
My son spent very little time with the coaches on his visit, he was with the team most of the time. The parents spent most of the weekend with the staff. As both schools are very family orientated, the invitation was extended to him and to us.
Since there would be a possibility he might be drafted we felt it important to visit the school just as we felt it important to visit a location he might be playing in if he had gone pro. That was a family choice.
As far as college, if we had really wanted to exert our influence, he would have remained in our home state. He eventualy made his own decision where to attend,but was confused and came to us to help him to make the right decision. For him it was a very emotional time in his life and could not have helped him if we had not gone on the visits.
Best of luck to your son.
This site give us the perspective of many. There is no right or wrong way.

With these perspectives in mind, you can adjust on the fly.

You might get to a school and the coaches only want to talk to your son. Knowing that this happens, as a parent, you can back off a little.

Other coaches want to get to know the whole family.

Do what makes you comfortable. You'll know when you should be there.

And you'll know when it's time to go.

When you know it's time to get out of the way, get out of the way...............

The seemingly general consensus of this website is that coaches are dumba$$es. And you may come across one that is.

But, they recruit year 'round and you do it once in a lifetime.

(unless you are BeenthereIL with 7 , which is why we should listen to him)

They size you, your family, and your son up quickly.

Going into the process there is a fear that somehow the process can be screwed up. I doubt that happens very much.

I liked bbscouts story about his son's recruiting

Our story has similar twists.

We attended some. He would have been fine on his own.

Quit looking for colleges that don't have drinking, parties and S E X. There are not many out there.

What you need to listen for is this.

"Dad, (or Mom), this is where I want to go to school and play baseball. I like it here. I like the coaches. I think I have a chance to play here."

And for those more academically bent.

"Dad, (or Mom), this is where I want to go to school and play baseball. I like it here. I like the coaches. I think I have a chance to play here. I think I can get a good education here."
Last edited by FormerObserver
Different strokes for different folks seems to be the order of the day.

We did accompany our son on his visits (all invites were for parents and player), and there were questions we asked of the coaches or the host players that son likely wouldn't have thought to ask (his idea of planning is still "What's for breakfast?"):

-availablilty of tutors
-travel details (do players ever drive/chartered bus/vans/meal money, etc.)
-cooperation by professsors where travel disrupts academic life
-number of students in most classes
-helpfulness of advisors and professsors
-school cooperation in arranging a schedule that ends most days by 1:00
-track record of players for church attendance
-laptop vs. desk top
-town attitude toward students (liked or tolerated?)

Our son wasn't focused a whole lot on the academic and detail side of things. Wonderful kid, but his nature was and is pretty free spirited, and his academic focus at that point (he was 17) was somewhat lacking.

He eventually made a good choice (but to be fair, he as much as told us "this is the place" within 5 minutes of setting foot on campus).
If I had it to do over, I would start a new trend. I would go on the official visit alone and leave the son at home. I would experience of all the "things" these players are exposed to during the official visits. It would be the ultimate parental involvement. I might even take his coach. If it works out, I might even branch out and start an "official visit service". For $200.00 I could take his five visits to the colleges of his choice and give the player a detailed report on the campus activities. I would seek out and be particularly aware of the s#* and drinking aspect of each college. The main obstacles I anticipate on the front end would be the NCAA and the wife. Big Grin
I have to agree with dbg_fan. With what you have invested, you owe it to your son to be there and advise afterwards. Secondly, you and your son have the final vote on where he goes to school. Not the coaches. They just determine whether or not he gets some athletic money to help you defray the cost. They do not determine where you go.

TR's way isn't wrong. It worked for him. It also is not the only way to go and if you do go along, it doesn' imply that you cannot cut the cord. Every family has a different set of goals and needs and this is not an exact science. I think it would be unfair for you to think that coaches absolutely don't want you there. Some do some don't. Just the way it is. Even if a coach doesn't want you there, go anyway if you feel the need. You have a vested interest.
I view college education in a different light...having had 3 children attend grammar and HS where I payed for their educations I view myself as a consumer...did I buy the first house I there were many variables that had to factor into my choice....location, price, proximity to stores, schools, church, hospital etc...did I buy the first car I once again there were things that I needed to, price, durability and I further had my mechanic check it out and I went for a test drive....the overnight is the test drive...the mechanic are the parents...there are many components of college life that only I was interested in...we drove the neighborhood, how close was shopping, was there a local bus, where were the emergency exits in case of fire, where was the closet hospital, who mans the doors at night, what are the ramifications of alcohol and drug possesion etc...questions I knew my son would never ask...he knew about baseball but college is not all about is about obtaining an education and I as the consumer want to know what I am spending my very hard earned money on so thus I went on the visits...

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