That is a great analogy baseballmom. To me it is a great approach.You cut the apron strings and let them enjoy the experience. They know you are there when needed..
CPLZ-What is wrong with you. If a phone call from a parent damages the kids relationship with a coach well then you probably didn't pick a good place. I agree with Mr. Kremer 100 percent-Your not calling to offer baseball advice or really talk baseball. Just simply checking on your son and showing an interest. Commonplace would say that every coach shoud Assume that the parents are involved and care and are offering guidance but sometimes you need to FULLY UNDERSTAND that every kid is not a clone of the next kids homelife. Baseball Mom with respect to your comment college is not the military, and college baseball does not include potential battles. College Baseball is not a 9-5 job. College baseball takes place at a place of higher education and the kids a called STUDENT-ATHLETES, the word Student is in front of the word athlete. This is not a job and it's not the military.
Interesting discussion and good points made, and everyone has an opinion and everyone approaches situations differently.
I would be lying if I said we never called son's coach (not head coach but pitching coach), but we also had a very unique situation that involved an entire family friendship, mutual friends to this day and been together on several occassions outside of the college situation.
The conversations never included playing time, and his pitching coach had an open phone policy, call me anytime, with any concerns, to every parent of the players he recruited. That is just the way he is, but not all coaches are that approachable or involved with their players on and off the field.
I agree pretty much with many statments made here, especially some made by Coach May. I think sometimes it is important to listen to those who work closely with HS players and know many coaches. PG makes some excellent points as well.
I don't know about anyone else, but my son spoke to some coaches over the phone and there was no connection, he immediately decided that he would not pursue any further with those programs.
So what if we had done all of the talking? What happens if he shows up, even with a good scholarship and can't stand the coach or the situation or the program because we did all of the talking on his behalf because he was too shy? Do not let being too shy or too busy a reason why your son didn't contact coaches.
Our kids can and most likely can go anywhere to sit in a classroom and be happy. I know in son's situation he spent endless hours with his coaching staff and on the field. Although we talked to coaches during the process, he established the relationship. For most of you whose son's are in a program or have been, we all know that things change as soon as the honeymoon recruiting period is over, so you better make sure the decision made is one with your son's input, and that includes getting to know who you will be spending the next 3-4 years with and where.
BHD,
Big question, for all the negotiating you did and calls that you made and recruting through DVD's and yes I understand that your son got a degree, met his future bride and will soon have a spectacular job that pays lots of money, just how happy were you and he with the baseball program? If your situation is different because he was an international student, does that pertain to those who are not?
I would be lying if I said we never called son's coach (not head coach but pitching coach), but we also had a very unique situation that involved an entire family friendship, mutual friends to this day and been together on several occassions outside of the college situation.
The conversations never included playing time, and his pitching coach had an open phone policy, call me anytime, with any concerns, to every parent of the players he recruited. That is just the way he is, but not all coaches are that approachable or involved with their players on and off the field.
I agree pretty much with many statments made here, especially some made by Coach May. I think sometimes it is important to listen to those who work closely with HS players and know many coaches. PG makes some excellent points as well.
I don't know about anyone else, but my son spoke to some coaches over the phone and there was no connection, he immediately decided that he would not pursue any further with those programs.
So what if we had done all of the talking? What happens if he shows up, even with a good scholarship and can't stand the coach or the situation or the program because we did all of the talking on his behalf because he was too shy? Do not let being too shy or too busy a reason why your son didn't contact coaches.
Our kids can and most likely can go anywhere to sit in a classroom and be happy. I know in son's situation he spent endless hours with his coaching staff and on the field. Although we talked to coaches during the process, he established the relationship. For most of you whose son's are in a program or have been, we all know that things change as soon as the honeymoon recruiting period is over, so you better make sure the decision made is one with your son's input, and that includes getting to know who you will be spending the next 3-4 years with and where.
BHD,
Big question, for all the negotiating you did and calls that you made and recruting through DVD's and yes I understand that your son got a degree, met his future bride and will soon have a spectacular job that pays lots of money, just how happy were you and he with the baseball program? If your situation is different because he was an international student, does that pertain to those who are not?
I'm out on this conversation but do you guys think that coaches like Urban Meyer talk to the parents of gator football players. Do you think Mike Martin talks to the parents of Seminole baseball players. Do you think coach K at Duke talks to the parents of his Blue Devel Basketball players. 100 football players on a team in football-He couldn't possible have time to talk to them all could he. Don't be surprised. Great comments and this has been very informative.
Last thing then I'm really out. If a kid is 1000 miles from home and the coach never hears from you. I just can't comprehend that.
quote:I wouldn't hesitate to call his coach about an academic issue, or about a difficulty he might have in adjusting to college life, or something like that.
His coach said he has an open phone line for any calls on these topics, but as far as baseball development and progress, playing time, other such things - don't call. Not our business.
And that is something I agree with 100%
Big part of making the decision is that you should be looking for a situation where you don't have to worry or be too concerned because of the people who will be working with your son. Then you don't have to think twice about making the phone calls.
First semester of son's freshman year, we got a call from the athletic advisor. Always being a good student, he was struggling first semester, but by end he was just a tenth of a point away from a 3.0. He called to tell us how proud he was that son had raised his GPA and got the job done in the classroom. So many are so concerned about making phone calls to find about about progress on the field, FWIW, you can't play if you don't get it done in class, that was very much appreciated.
After that he made presidents honor roll consistantly and was an ACC all american. I had gotten the impression from our visit with him during recruiting, that we didn't have to worry about son, academically he had people watching over him. We also knew that every few weeks the HC got a report, regarding grades and skipping classes, and dealt with each player sternly on that. That should be a bigger priority than how he is doing on the field.
JMO.
First semester of son's freshman year, we got a call from the athletic advisor. Always being a good student, he was struggling first semester, but by end he was just a tenth of a point away from a 3.0. He called to tell us how proud he was that son had raised his GPA and got the job done in the classroom. So many are so concerned about making phone calls to find about about progress on the field, FWIW, you can't play if you don't get it done in class, that was very much appreciated.
After that he made presidents honor roll consistantly and was an ACC all american. I had gotten the impression from our visit with him during recruiting, that we didn't have to worry about son, academically he had people watching over him. We also knew that every few weeks the HC got a report, regarding grades and skipping classes, and dealt with each player sternly on that. That should be a bigger priority than how he is doing on the field.
JMO.
quote:Originally posted by Ryan Robinson:
CPLZ-What is wrong with you.
What is right with me is a shorter list.
How much time have you got?
quote:So many are so concerned about making phone calls to find about about progress on the field, FWIW, you can't play if you don't get it done in class, that was very much appreciated.
After that he made presidents honor roll consistantly and was an ACC all american. I had gotten the impression from our visit with him during recruiting, that we didn't have to worry about son, academically he had people watching over him. We also knew that every few weeks the HC got a report, regarding grades and skipping classes, and dealt with each player sternly on that. That should be a bigger priority than how he is doing on the field.
JMO.
quote:What is right with me is a shorter list.
Now that was funny.
CPLZ-Good sense of humor. We disagreed but I respect your opinions and like I said this message board provides alot of different opinions and for the most part all have value. I hope to run into you on another topic soon
ClevelandDad nominated this thread for "Golden" status and I agree!
Helpful advice here, good debate from different viewpoints, and an honest peek into the world of college baseball for those who are starting the recruiting "ride" as well as those with sons just starting their college careers.
I've attached a "shortcut" to Golden Threads, so this thread appears both places. Thanks everyone for your input here!
Julie
Helpful advice here, good debate from different viewpoints, and an honest peek into the world of college baseball for those who are starting the recruiting "ride" as well as those with sons just starting their college careers.
I've attached a "shortcut" to Golden Threads, so this thread appears both places. Thanks everyone for your input here!
Julie
MN-Mom: Do I get a gold star or anything for starting a "golden thread?"
Here ya go MT
I dont see anything wrong with a parent being involved during the recruiting process. Its a tough decision - and hopefully the parents can offer guidance and make sure the right questions are asked.
But:
Once the decision is made and your son/daughter makes the choice and begins - I wouldnt recommend any parent initiating contact with a college coach.
The parents arent on the field everyday. The Coach and the players are. The Coach and the players are living it everyday - the parents are not.
So how would a parent really know anything?
From a coaches perspective - if they were being totally honest - I am sure they would say they dread those phone calls from parents.
With the exception of some extraordinary circumstance - I really dont know why a parent would call a coach.
At the college level - IMO - parents should support their son/daughter - and their team - watch and hopefully enjoy the games - and then go home.
But:
Once the decision is made and your son/daughter makes the choice and begins - I wouldnt recommend any parent initiating contact with a college coach.
The parents arent on the field everyday. The Coach and the players are. The Coach and the players are living it everyday - the parents are not.
So how would a parent really know anything?
From a coaches perspective - if they were being totally honest - I am sure they would say they dread those phone calls from parents.
With the exception of some extraordinary circumstance - I really dont know why a parent would call a coach.
At the college level - IMO - parents should support their son/daughter - and their team - watch and hopefully enjoy the games - and then go home.
Fan, you have a PM about this subject.
quote:Originally posted by TRhit:
If a parent calls a coach he/she should treat it like talking with a lawyer---just answer the questions in a short manner---only give him the info that he asks for--nothing more --nothing less ---and be truthful
Priceless....also insert detective, probation officer or assistant principal.
This is a great thread and I have really enjoyed reading all the different opinions on this subject. Getting back to MTBaseballDad’s question on contacting coach in regards to recruiting.
Son (RHP/2011) has received his share of letters and emails from college coaches, a few schools up to 2 or 3 emails a week. One coach started emailing him for one school and now has left and is still emailing him from his new school.
My question is do your opinions change on dad making first phone call if that player is a junior and coach can not call him?
Son (RHP/2011) has received his share of letters and emails from college coaches, a few schools up to 2 or 3 emails a week. One coach started emailing him for one school and now has left and is still emailing him from his new school.
My question is do your opinions change on dad making first phone call if that player is a junior and coach can not call him?
CSG,
Players and their dads or moms can make all the calls they want, the coach cannot make or return phone calls until July 1 of their senior year.
Players and their dads or moms can make all the calls they want, the coach cannot make or return phone calls until July 1 of their senior year.
great topic, I have always found that the most effective way to reach a young player is to find the right coach. You need someone who the players respect and look up to, at least at a young age, this typically can not be a dad.
A great way to reach a player is to have the support of the right DAD.
A vast majority of major league players have a tremendous respect for their mothers and fathers and at the end of the day go back to them to validate there coaches at a young age. It is then up to the parent to validate the coach in times that are tough on a young person.