Dealing with committing when teammates/friends aren't

You really find out who your real friends are, in a hurry, when you have success...

It falls into the nothing you can control, who cares category. My son was tight with most of his high school and travel teammates. There was one high school kid who didn’t care for my son’s success and assuming leadership. My son tuned him out. 

Is the kid a good teammate? Is he a braggart?

I’m only asking because I know of two teammates - one most people were happy for and the other not so much. It was mostly based on the humility of one and the lack of humility by the other. 

Either way, I think there will always be some jealousy as commitments and recognition come at different times. 

Kid worked hard for the opportunity, good teammate and always positive. Surprised by the reaction to his opportunity.

Haters gonna hate.  It is, unfortunately, just human nature for many people, but thankfully not all.

GaryMe posted:

Kid worked hard for the opportunity, good teammate and always positive. Surprised by the reaction to his opportunity.

Yeah, that’s unfortunate but I’m happy for the kid! :-)

The opposite reaction on my son's HS team. People were happy for each other.

GaryMe posted:

Have any of you had experiences where your son's high school or travel teammates are "less than excited" for your sons (or daughters) when they finally land their commitment?

Have a family friend whose son just committed, we are very happy for them and congratulated them on the accomplishment. Our son tells us the player's HS teammates are acting kind of cold to this kid now, not "liking" his post on social media announcing the commitment, etc. Brutal. None of his HS teammates are committed, FWIW.

Kids being kids I guess.

 

Well, I am royally ticked!

Who is this kid anyway?

More than likely they are reflecting the hate and jealousy that their parents express during the dinner table discussion.

GARYME,

Since he is one of the first on his team, possibly they don't know how to react.  It is definitely strange and disturbing.   Hopefully, he can help others (who ask) with their recruitment as a way to turn this into a positive.

So, I can give you another perspective that is vastly worse.  Half the kids on your son's travel team announce their commitments and decide the season is over leaving the other half to continue their recruitment on their own.   This was the case with my son's national travel team.  That is right, half the kids accepted their D1 offers and went home leaving the rest of the team in a lurch.  This had nothing to do with the kids...it was the parents.   There was enough depth and talent that the team could be competitive, but it was devastating to my son who had always been a team player for many years.

So, Karma can be a real screaming and raging bitch...   So, my son and another kid were the last two to verbally commit to their respective D1s from this national travel team.  They were among (only) 4 kids from that original national travel that were still playing by their senior year in college.   Ironically, the kid who committed last from this national travel team is still playing in the minors.   Clearly the ones who committed early on and left the team in a lurch.....chose very poorly.  

Just my experience....

57special posted:

The opposite reaction on my son's HS team. People were happy for each other.

Six years ago when my son's HS teammate, our ace pitcher, was drafted in the 6th round, everyone was happy for him.  Nobody was "less than excited".  Everyone that I talked to was happy for him.

I have been greatly surprised how well my son's teammates and their parents have been excited for my son.  We moved into a small town in the middle of the year last year.  New town, new team, new player, new family.  My son had already committed to P5 but that brings a whole other set of problems.  Expectations were crazy high and no one knew what to expect.  My son produced on the mound, in the field, and at the plate.  He got all kinds of awards throughout the year and into the summer.  But I will have to say all the players as far as I can tell, all the parents, have been very excited for him.  I know it helped that they were expected to have a poor season and made it to final 8 in the state.  You never know how people will respond but I think as has been said it also depends on the player and his parents responses that affect others the most. 

Isn't it a new world that we judge whether people like us or are excited for us or not by whether they like, or retweet, or follow our responses on social media.  My son was asked by a family friend if he did not like a certain player on his travel team because he did not retweet this players commitment to a college.  My son answered, no.  I was with him when it happened so I just said great job dude and we talked about it at dinner but it was assumed he didn't like it or the kid since he didn't retweet it.

We are going through this right now and I wasn't sure how teammates would react and they have been great.  My son said when he pulled up to a gathering the other night after announcing, they all ran out and hugged him.  Makes me glad that he has a good group of kids around him.  Hoping the best for all of them as well.

Now comes the pressure to live up to it every game.

Very unfortunate for the kid if that's how his teammates are treating him. A kid committed from my son's high school team last year and I don't recall him getting that sort of treatment at all. He was more or less the team hero already so that wasn't surprising to me.

Like it or not, it seems that we live in a society where people are measured by their achievements, for the most part, and those achievements are instantly available in this age of social media. Some kids will never have the work ethic, physical gifts, connections, and all other things that go into achieving on the baseball field and I think the reaction of the teammates in the original post is simply how young brains may be responding to that reality.

Most of this I believe comes from animosity and disappointment from the parents. It often starts with the first  exposure to the recruiting process. But I've witnessed this twice personally and many times as an Umpire working games when the most talented local players are on my schedule.

When I was in 9th Grade our HS quarterback was being heavily recruited. My brother was on that team. He eventually went to Notre Dame and ended up being a Hall of Famer and Superbowl MVP.  Lots of attention to him brought lots of attention to other players on the team who then had opportunities to continue to play in college.  It's foolish to denigrate the fortunate when a player has the opportunity to shine in front of so many scouts/coaches who came to see the big prospect.   

Fast forward to My sons HS experience. On his team really only 2 players had been receiving any attention from colleges. My son being one of them.  They both experienced the occasional cold shoulder from various sources.  It was also the case with my sons team that after all was said and done 5 players ended up getting offers to play after HS......scouts and coaches came to see the Pitcher and the Shortstop, and then different schools offered the catcher, 3rd baseman and centerfielder.....    

AS an Umpire, I have often spoken to coaches after the game about players. They stop by and ask us just briefly about the player. Not in any official capacity of course but none the less. Most of the time its only about attitude and hustle.....they can evaluate skills.  They came to see the Pitching prospect and end up asking about the hustling catcher... 

If you got a prospect that's drawing attention...be happy for them, play hard for the team and go out there and show your stuff...... You never know who is watching and what their needs are.......you could be the one.     

Some of the best advice that I’ve ever heard and I shared it with my son.

“Don’t ever resent what you’re trying to attract. Make sure that you celebrate the successes of others.”