"Why can't we accept our kids natural skill level in baseball and academics?"
If you are using the term "natural skill level" as equivalent to "potential." I agree. But, I have found that, e.g., "natural athletes" can improve their game with great instruction and "good students" can be taught to improve their study skills and time management. (I have known several pro pitchers who are not natural athletes; but hard work and perseverance got them to their goal.)
"What is the point in loading up a kid who wants to be a gym teacher with AP Calc, AP Bio, AP Government."
I have known many young teens who have life visions which changed as they moved into adulthood. If a 13 year old wants to be a cowboy, why not even drop out at 16 to head to a ranch? If a kid cannot do the work required in an AP, the kid should not be taking it; conversely, a kid who can do the work needs to be challenged - because so much of life is a challenge and the kid needs to understand that overcoming challenges is hard, hard, sometimes unpleasant work.
"Should he take an ACT prep course, sure, should he sacrifice hundreds of hours in his high school time, where he should be enjoying his last days of being a kid, to keep up with the Jones'es, nope!"
Little Billy Jones worked his tail off, got that 1450, paired it with his astonishing community service (he worked with a food bank), rigorous course work and matching grades, wrote a great essay, and got into his dream school. Billy took his junior year abroad (China) where he learned Mandarin, had a Muslim roommate in his freshman year, and interned in different towns for a few summers. Billy then interviewed with Teach For America (which emerged as a result of a senior thesis written at Princeton) and selected his school from amongst the most needy in Appalachia. When Billy finished his two year contract, he [had lots of options], but he decided to go back to his home community and, armed with his knowledge from Appalachia teaching, introduced some novel teaching theories at the local HS.
I know it seems overwhelming at times. And it's frustrating because it seems that you have little control or real input into the process; moreover, a kid getting pushed, cajoled and begged can be a little trying at times. All one can do is put him in the best spot so that when his motor takes over, the fewest options have been burned.