Being a high school coach for several years, I see it both ways as a parent and a coach. I had a player who played for me three years who had mediocre grades, missed as much school as he could and pass, was lazy at practice but the best third baseman we had, and could throw strikes. Bad attitude, bad parental attitude but ran concession stand and top fundraisers, horrible teammate. He started at third and batted fourth and was #3 pitcher. But when he was talking to a juco I told him point blank, don't have them call me unless you want me to tell them good and bad. We had numerous conversations about all of the above including parents for two years. I told him I would be glad to say how good he could be but he did have a lot of luggage that he carried with him that was not so good. If you were just looking for production it was there but he was horrible in every non stat area. I was very proactive in getting kids to the next level and contacted coaches for players all the time. But I also was obligated to be honest about them.
Before you completely bash me, I was very helpful in working with him and his girlfriend who got pregnant his junior year and helping them with their baby. I even let him skip some practices on Saturdays to work to help pay bills. If he could have fixed his laziness and lack of drive he could have been a great player, but he got it honestly.
You talk about the grades and pitching ability but has the coach ever had to confront your son about his attitude or lack of hustle which he told the coach about?
I know there are coaches who just don't like a player but if there has never been controversy until now that seems unlikely unless you just don't know about the controversy.
Finally! I was beginning to think I was alone in some of these thoughts.
As a former HS coach, I, too, have had my share of good players who had attitude issues, laziness or other. And, yes, sometimes it was my better players. It doesn't mean I benched them. But they had to uphold all of the team standards or they would see the bench and we would certainly be communicating. But that communication would be between me and the player - not the parent (unless things were particularly bad). I considered it part of my job to help them improve both their game and their "citizenship". This is real life. And sometimes, the bumpy road didn't end at the rainbow.
Coaches have integrity and relationship concerns to protect with both sides - their players and the college coaches who may confide in them. I took pride in helping players make it to the next level and in promoting them when deserved. But I also owed it to the college coaches to give them an accurate assessment - both performance and behavior. If I were to blow smoke at the local college coach about a kid, that would be the last chance I ever had to help other kids looking at that school and probably any other school within the region. College coaches are a small, tight knit group. They talk among each other, particularly regionally.
Nonamedad, I don't know nearly enough about your specific situation to know if any of this applies at all or maybe just a little or ???. Maybe the coach is just a jerk like so many others here are suggesting and he got screwed. But there are some things that just don't fit. Your son is a good prospect skill-wise. It just seems very strange to me. Why has he not had a conversation with his HS coach previously about his recruiting efforts? Some here say it's the coach' fault. It falls just as much on the player (and maybe somewhat on the parent) in his recruiting efforts to make sure he is properly taking care of all his potential references. What would the motivation of the coach be to speak poorly of your son to a recruiting college coach? It would only benefit him to have his players advance unless there are legitimate concerns. And, sorry, this is nitpicking, but what the heck does helping with snack bar and fundraisers have to do with it?
As HS coach, I didn't always get called - as others have stated, it's usually travel coach that gets the call. But it certainly happens. And when it does, the recruiter's questions are usually fairly extensive and definitely include reference to things like attitude, effort, coachability, respect, sense of team, leadership, grades, etc.
You may be way ahead of things and have already fully explored with your son what may be behind the coach' opinion, but if not, I would certainly fully vet that out before looking outside for blame. If there's something there, maybe this can be a huge opportunity to focus on it and make it right. And this could help him going forward.
