High School Team issues...What do I do?

quote:

Originally posted by tradosaurus:
I'm teaching my kid that if you find a team that pays more money (gets more playing time/position) then jump ASAP.

Your loyalty lies with the "paycheck." Life is unfair and favortism/politics are part of most jobs/occupations.

Tradosaurus,

I'm close to figuring out who you are. I've got it narrowed down to two people. You are either Cam Newton's father or Lebron James mother.

When I see orignal posts like the one here I think back to a kid who played at our high school as a senior when my son was a soph. The kid was a stud starting in LL. In middle school and 16U ball he was somewhat dominant.

When the kid was a freshman the dad was ripped he didn't make varsity. He transferred the kid to another school soph year where he got hammered when he pitched and lost his spot in the rotation. The kid threw 85 with no movement. The ball tended to leave the infield a lot faster than it left the mound.

The dad groused about his kid getting screwed. Junior year the kid transferred to another school. The same thing occurred as the previous year. The dad continued to complain no one could see his kid was a stud.

The kid transferred back to our high school senior year. He got hammered in three outings and demoted from the rotation. The dad complained and complained. He claimed his son was getting looks from major conference D1's through camps and showcases. Even after NLI week came and went he was telling us about the offers.

Then the kid confronted the coach about mound time. It was not pretty. The coach is a bit intense. That night the #1 pitcher got in a car accident finishing his season. Rather than buck up and prove himself the kid quit the team leaving it short a pitcher to show the coach. The kid might have made a difference if he could keep the ball down. He was going to get another start. He quit on the team. The team dropped out of first.

Wherever this kid was trying to get to college ball the word got around the kid was a quitter and the father a nutcase. The kid walked on one year at a local JuCo. He was not asked back the second year. The word was the JuCo didn't need the drama.

quote:

Originally posted by RJM:
Everything in life gets easier to do with more practice .... including complaining and quitting. Preparation for life incudes learning how to deal with tough situations and overcoming obstacles.

Very true... quitting is not a quality that should be taught IMO, and it can turn into a nasty habit. Even worse... it could be contagious .

I would love to know what part of the country the OP is residing in... it may sum things up a bit. Did the school have a FROSH team? Also, the OP's son made the JV team as an eighth grader as well as his freshman year. Not a bad start to his "HS career" so far if you ask me.

FWIW - if you transfer for the purpose of athletics, most (almost all) school districts will consider you ineligible for the first year in the new school. Considering your son made the roster his 8th and 9th grade, you would be considered ineligible to play baseball for one year if you transferred schools where I am from. There are many other reasons that a student athlete becomes ineligible to play... but this reason may be the most relevant to the current situation. May want to re-think the JV gig he already has going for him.

quote:

Originally posted by biggerpapi:

quote:

Originally posted by tradosaurus:
I'm teaching my kid that if you find a team that pays more money (gets more playing time/position) then jump ASAP.

Your loyalty lies with the "paycheck." Life is unfair and favortism/politics are part of most jobs/occupations.

Might as well prepare him for the real world.

Wow, I thought this was a joke the first time I read it.

Wait. Let me get this straight.

A coach can seek better opportunities that pay more and gives him more exposures.

A supervisor/manager/CEO can jump ship for a higher paying opportunity.

But a player has to stick it out, gut it out, put up with an environment he is not comfortable with?

Believe me, my son understands that once he signs up for a season he will finish it out. My 2nd older son signed up to play JV football his junior yr in high school. He practiced just as hard and did just as good as any of the other receivers. But the recievers coach had a son who was a reciever and received all the playing time. My son stuck it out but since he only got in 2 plays each game he decided not to pursue football his senior yr because the message that was sent to him was no matter how hard you try you will not play. I will do whatever I can for my son not to play for that school.

I understand being a player in high school and college doesn't give one much flexibility in moving around but it doesn't mean I shouldn't do as much politicking as I can before my son reaches high school to get the best program so I don't have regrets later.

quote:

Originally posted by PGStaff:

quote:

Originally posted by tradosaurus:
I'm teaching my kid that if you find a team that pays more money (gets more playing time/position) then jump ASAP.

Your loyalty lies with the "paycheck." Life is unfair and favortism/politics are part of most jobs/occupations.

Tradosaurus,

I'm close to figuring out who you are. I've got it narrowed down to two people. You are either Cam Newton's father or Lebron James mother.

Ummmm not hardly.

You don't get a Mechanical Engineering degree for being stupid or lazy.

I just don't see things through rose colored glasses.

quote:

Originally posted by ironhorse:

quote:

Originally posted by tradosaurus:
I'm teaching my kid that if you find a team that pays more money (gets more playing time/position) then jump ASAP.

Your loyalty lies with the "paycheck." Life is unfair and favortism/politics are part of most jobs/occupations.

Might as well prepare him for the real world.

Nice lesson. You're kid will be a pleasure to coach, I'm sure.

And I bet you'll be the first one want to meet with the coach when a soph. takes your son's spot when he's a senior. "He's earned it!" you'll say.

Again, coaches aren't the one's screwing up today's kids.

Thank you. Actually my son is a pleasure to coach as can be attested by his hard nosed travel team coach. He is quiet in the dugout and is well-mannered. He doesn't throw tantrums like many kids.

If the sophomore is a better player I have no problem. If the sophomore is the coaches son or one of the school board administrators son I would find another school (in the same district and conference if possible) and hope my son would get an opportunity to prove himself.

Like I said before, favoritism in my area, is off the charts in some schools.

quote:

Originally posted by tradosaurus:
If the sophomore is a better player I have no problem. If the sophomore is the coach’s son or one of the school board administrators son I would find another school (in the same district and conference if possible) and hope my son would get an opportunity to prove himself.

What if the sophomore was better and was the child of a coach or administrator?

quote:

Originally posted by bballdad2016:
FWIW - if you transfer for the purpose of athletics, most (almost all) school districts will consider you ineligible for the first year in the new school. Considering your son made the roster his 8th and 9th grade, you would be considered ineligible to play baseball for one year if you transferred schools where I am from. There are many other reasons that a student athlete becomes ineligible to play... but this reason may be the most relevant to the current situation. May want to re-think the JV gig he already has going for him.

Transfer rules differ from state to state. In the state my kids played some of the privates were not part of the PIAA and therefore not subject to the rules. There are also ways around the transfer rules. The easiest is "I decided to live with my dad." Dad gets an apartment in the desired school district. There was one basketball power we used to joke they would pick up the boundary road and move it for the right recruit.

RJM - Yes they do differ from state to state, and there is always a loop hole . I am not sure where dolphindad1 is located geographically, so it will be up to him to do the research. And for his sons sake, I hope he research's it correctly. I have only dealt with NY, VA and CA.

Funny about your moving boundaries out there in New England, we have the same problem out here... lol. Darn roads need to be nailed down with RR Spikes I guess.

You know there are always those certain people who are always victimes no matter what goes on in their life. They fail because they don't get a fair shot or they don't know the right people or whatever. You always hear about their "limited" chances in games but you never hear about how they worked in practice.

I coach football and you have more than one receiver on the field at all times - even in a power run attack formation there will always be two TEs. So if the coaches son got one of the spots then there should be another one that other kids could compete for.

You do make a valid point in that in the real world people are allowed to go seek a better opportunity and therefore by de facto a kid should be as well. Only argument I can come up with against that is playing time on a HS team is not the same as being paid for doing a job. There is a huge difference between enjoying (or should enjoy) a sport and providing for a family or yourself.

quote:

Originally posted by tradosaurus:

Like I said before, favoritism in my area, is off the charts in some schools.

Really. What part of East Texas are you in?

To OP:

Last season my soph son watched as his freshman brother and another soph were "moved ahead of him to the varisty" He was a better pitcher, and I just could not figure out why HC would do this. I asked my son if this bothered him and he said, no it does not, but I'm sure it did a bit.

I asked HC one night about the moves....I'm sure at the time I tried to be smooth, but HC new what I was driving at.

HC coach asks me if the move bothered my soph boy or did it bother me?

He responds with, "as you know we have some pitchers dinged up on the varsity so I need a couple of arms (mops ups) so I don't have to keep burning through varsity pitching to complete games, until the dinged up varsity pitchers get back in time for the district games.

I said "ok" and he says I have plans for ( my soph son) and I want him pitching every 5 days on the JV team.

Well as the soph and the freshman brother were "sitting" and charting for the varsity, my soph was pitching JV...... every 5 days......

Fast foward to this year, the soph is now a jr, my soph is now a jr and my freshman is a soph..... out of the three guess who is pitching first on the varsity ...... leave the HS coaching to the HS coach...he knows more than you as the parent do.....I will never asks the HS coach another question about playing time or his intentions, and I wish I had not asked the first time.

Some of you may remember my posts last year, my son's junior year. Due to not playing on new high school coaches summer team my son was cut from Varsity. This board raised the possibility it wasn't the coach but his talent rightfully so as the situation seemed pretty far fetched.

My son sucked it up, played JV, really enjoyed the group of boys on the team, kept his nose down and focused on summer ball with his terrific club team. He was miserable to live with but we got through it.

The coach lasted one season....I never complained to either the coach or the school. I allowed my son some time to vent and joined him but then we moved forward. Coach got fired, my son is now deciding between 2 and potentially a 3d D1 offer and will have played varsity just one year.

To the OP, your son is a freshman, relax. High School isn't going to effect his future in baseball especially at a school where a freshman realistically expects to make varsity. That's not the level of competition college coaches make time to go see.

Don't teach you kid that you pack up your toys and go home when you don't like the way things go. That's not life. Although I would sincerely have preferred we not have to live through the example of life not always being fair that we did last year, this year now that things have worked out as he had hoped, he is much the better for it, and not on the baseball field he always had that covered, as a person and with life skills relating to not quitting and how to work through bad situations and still come out on top. How to deal with disappointment, etc. We never entertained leaving, we spent countless hours and sleepless nights discussing how the only way to prove how wrong it was is to overcome it.

I love to walk by the old coach in the hallway now. I just smile. My son is way ahead in the game of life too.

PGStaff,

Do you not understand that you are not capable of holding a conversation with a mechanical engineer?

When will you ever learn?

quote:

Originally posted by SultanofSwat:
In my best Allen Iverson voice... We're talkin about freshman? We're talkin about freshmen?

My sentiments exactly. I guess playing varsity baseball as a freshman in other parts of the country is more common than here? It takes a special player (OR...a school lacking talent!?) to get a shot at varsity in our area in 9th grade. The HS league's in our region generally have 1 or 2 frosh players on the rosters per league, not per team. The smaller schools tend to elevate younger players much faster than the large school divisions.

I understand your frustration regarding "Daddy-Ball". Are the sons of the Coach/AD also freshman? If that's the case, and your son is truly more talented, then I would think about other alternatives for my son. However, if these kids are older, I'd have to assume that they've already paid the price and served their time on the Frosh/JV team?

Lastly, if HS ball in your area doesn't fit your family's situation you can always move to Southern California and sign up for the ABCL Spring League. All joking aside, good luck to your son this year, I hope it all works out.

Papi, if the one thinks he can "work" PG into doing something advantageous for him they could talk! It would be rotten if the first thought as your feet hit he floor in the morning was what can I get for nothing today!

quote:

Originally posted by bballdad2016:

quote:

Originally posted by tradosaurus:
If the sophomore is a better player I have no problem. If the sophomore is the coach’s son or one of the school board administrators son I would find another school (in the same district and conference if possible) and hope my son would get an opportunity to prove himself.

What if the sophomore was better and was the child of a coach or administrator?

Still don't have a problem although that combination is very rare, IMO.

Of course, everybody knows that it's very rare for a sophomore to be a good player and a child of a coach.

I'm sorry, I guess I've had just about enough bull@@@t for today. I'd better go to another site for a while.

quote:

Originally posted by tradosaurus:
Wait. Let me get this straight.

A coach can seek better opportunities that pay more and gives him more exposures.

A supervisor/manager/CEO can jump ship for a higher paying opportunity.

But a player has to stick it out, gut it out, put up with an environment he is not comfortable with?

Quite the contrary.
The vast majority of the time, a coach, supervisor, manager or CEO will not get that higher pay opportunity UNTIL they have shown the ability to "stick it out, gut it out, put up with an environment they are not comfortable with" (among other things).

That's the whole point.

That said, I'm sure you'll argue otherwise as to what you see in your world.

quote:

Originally posted by biggerpapi:
Of course, everybody knows that it's very rare for a sophomore to be a good player and a child of a coach.

I'm sorry, I guess I've had just about enough bull@@@t for today. I'd better go to another site for a while.

Yeah, it's getting pretty deep in doodoo isn't it?

quote:

You don't get a Mechanical Engineering degree for being stupid or lazy.

I just don't see things through rose colored glasses.

Tradosaurus,

Are you saying Cam Newton's dad and Lebron James Mom, are stupid and lazy?

I have a degree too. I don't think I'm all that lazy, but it has been proven many times that I am stupid. We all have worn rose colors glasses at some point. IMO, Those that won't admit it are actually wearing "blinders"!

I'm positive you are extremely intelligent and hard working. Having a degree in Mechanical Engineering is a great accomplishment. However, does a Mechanical Engineering degree help someone become the worlds best parent or a more knowlegable baseball person? My comments about Cam Newton and Lebron James were an obvious joke referring to your comments.

quote:

I'm teaching my kid that if you find a team that pays more money (gets more playing time/position) then jump ASAP.

Your loyalty lies with the "paycheck." Life is unfair and favortism/politics are part of most jobs/occupations.

Might as well prepare him for the real world.

Believe me I didn't think you were really Cam Newton's dad or Lebron James mom. Sorry if that somehow offended you.

quote:

I'm teaching my kid that if you find a team that pays more money (gets more playing time/position) then jump ASAP.

Your loyalty lies with the "paycheck." Life is unfair and favortism/politics are part of most jobs/occupations.

Might as well prepare him for the real world.

Trade....you really don't make sense. If you are supposed to change situations to make it best for yourself rather then work it out, what will you tell your uneducated, stay at home to raise kids daughters when their husbands leave to chase a younger, prettier, richer woman and leave them wishing they could support themselves? It was his right to "upgrade" his life?

If you teach your kids to cut and run as a basic survival instinct, you must be prepared when it happens to you as well.

quote:

Originally posted by calisportsfan:

quote:

I'm teaching my kid that if you find a team that pays more money (gets more playing time/position) then jump ASAP.

Your loyalty lies with the "paycheck." Life is unfair and favortism/politics are part of most jobs/occupations.

Might as well prepare him for the real world.

Trade....you really don't make sense. If you are supposed to change situations to make it best for yourself rather then work it out, what will you tell your uneducated, stay at home to raise kids daughters when their husbands leave to chase a younger, prettier, richer woman and leave them wishing they could support themselves? It was his right to "upgrade" his life?

If you teach your kids to cut and run as a basic survival instinct, you must be prepared when it happens to you as well.

Methinks I struck a nerve with you somewhere in the past.

My daughters will be more "educated" than most girls I assure you.

And last time I checked Adultery is a "Thou shall not...." compared to jumping a sinking ship whether it be a job or a team.

My kids will go into marriage with the understanding that divorce is not an option so pick wisely (oops I meant me pick wisely for them.)

Um, where has the OP gone?

Vanished?

quote:

Originally posted by YoungGunDad:
Um, where has the OP gone?

Vanished?

Probably didn't get the response he/she wanted. The poster may have been looking for confirmation on bailing.

Wow, there is a lot of really good advice in this thread.

I am bothered by "Daddy Ball" and the OP presented a scenario where that might actually be happening to his son's detriment. That said, I couldn't agree more with the seemingly hundreds of posts urging head-down persistence and a "show 'em" attitude to the point where his player's abilities can no longer be ignored. I also think the advice NOT to jump ship unless there are many more reasons than just baseball (and especially after one setback, as a freshman) to move is really sage advice. Besides, if this coach is really as bad a "Daddy Ball" coach as he is being portrayed, he probably won't be around long.

I do empathize a bit with the OP if for no other reason than I am the father of a freshman, too (though at a 4A school). Last year I was asked to be a member of the coaching staff at his school, and have seen all of the players he will be competing with, and I have my opinions about where my son stands (probably formed while looking through somewhat rose-colored glasses), but I have tried hard to NOT discuss those opinions with any of the other coaches unless they ask me directly for my opinion about my son. And I have already had the talk with him about having to leave NO DOUBT about being better than an older player, as well as the idea that it is far better to play JV (or frosh ball) and play regularly than to play V and sit.

In the end, it doesn't matter that much in a player's freshman year. Give it time, have your son work hard, and re-assess if he does all the right things and it doesn't get better.

Edgar - Agree a good thread despite the digressions.

RJM has the Quote of the Thread, "Everything in life gets easier to do with more practice .... including complaining and quitting. Preparation for life incudes learning how to deal with tough situations and overcoming obstacles."

quote:

Originally posted by RJM:

quote:

Originally posted by YoungGunDad:
Um, where has the OP gone?

Vanished?

Probably didn't get the response he/she wanted. The poster may have been looking for confirmation on bailing.

Sorry...i havent left or bailed and i got plenty of good advice....i work nightshift so i have been asleep all day....i will post a response when i get to work....i appreciate all the great comments....and yes re-read my post and did not mean it as whining and moaning....sorry it came across that way...i am truly not that kind of person

Stick it out. HS baseball goes by so quickly. Trust me on that one. Better for your son to face this "HS politic adversity" with a supportive dad/mom as opposed to facing the politics in college - away from home and supportive family. Politics, thinking you are better than someone playing ahead of you happens to every player eventually and either as a player you will work harder and be motivated or give up. Baseball politics = a great training ground for life. Nothing motivates my son more than being told "not good enough" - he'll work his butt off to prove them wrong.

As a parent, I got pretty worked up over HS play time, and "is he on JV or varsity" and now looking back having a Soph in college(seeing how much time school takes compared to HS, the stresses he faces trying to balance school and ball and this is D3) I REALLY wish I would have taken a chill pill for HS ball.

I repeat - ENJOY every moment of HS ball - they grow up fast.

Ok...I am back...I have read and re-read every post on here several times...couple comments...I am not trying to be a victim nor am I trying to make my son a victim...not at all..also the fact that my parenting skills were called in to question is kinda hurtful...lastly I have not and will not complain, cry or moan at the field about playing time or about any other player...

Now back to the situation...I have talked to my son today and he told me he is fine with it now and he will just go dominate on JV...I told him that he needs to work hard and not let my feelings get involved in how he plays...let the situation drive you to be the best player on the field...If he does that then he wont have any regrets...

I posted on this site hoping to get advice on the situation...I did for the most part...I may have not been clear in my OP or was I trying to victimize myself and my son...we had a week of tryouts for Varsity, JV and Bteam all three together...My son was never allowed to tryout for any team for the position he is best at, even after the coach told them to go to the positions they wanted to tryout for...that was a red flag to me...and yes the coaches sons that are in his grade play that position...thats why I am considering moving him, he will never get a shot their no matter how well he does..Also both made V/JV and one will now play OF and one at first...So in reality as a Lefty he only has 2 more positions to win as these kids will sit on V and play on JV. He will win one with no problems...I guess its a pricipal type thing...

as far as the the Private school is concerned he will absolutely have a better shot at college there...the one I am considering has had 100% of their seniors the last 2 years go to college...that says alot to me...He understands that baseball will end at some point it does for every player to ever play the game so he knows grades and going to college are the 1st priority...

and yes its not a great baseball school...the young talent is solid though...You have 3 9th and 1 8th grader make V/JV this year...and 1 more that easily could of...Its not a baseball mecca thats for sure...LOL

The Bteam coach and JV pitching coach came and talked to me today and said they were shocked that my son wasnt on the list..said the same as yall dont let it affect me and to make sure my son continues to work hard and to be honest those kids probably wont see but an inning or 2 on varsity...

Like I said I am not a complainer. I understand how the system works but as a dad wanted to see if I was doing or could do something more to help my son...thats all nothing more...I coach high school basketball so I understand how parents are and I never nor will I ever be one of those parents publicly...

Again I appreciate all the comments...Thanks

dophindan1 I sent you a PM. In case you don't know where to check for PM's look at the toolbar at the top where it has "go, new, find, notify, tools, reply" and at the far right should be a blinking PM button. Click on it and it will take you to my message. I only put this because most new people don't know where to check.

Thanks

quote:

...and yes the coaches sons that are in his grade play that position

It doesn't matter what position your son plays in high school as long as he eventually works his way into the lineup and enjoys playing. There's a 95% chance if he eventually is recruited for college ball it will come from his travel team. Playing a second position is good for demonstrating versatility when getting recruited.

I've been thinking about this for a couple of days as I'm not too familiar with 8th graders playing JV or V baseball.

To me JV or V means 10-12 grade. Right?

So if there are so many 8th graders at this school that are Varsity quality, does that speak highly on the 8th graders or poorly on the 11-12 graders? Or even the program?

Just a question.

quote:

Originally posted by biggerpapi:
I've been thinking about this for a couple of days as I'm not too familiar with 8th graders playing JV or V baseball.

To me JV or V means 10-12 grade. Right?

So if there are so many 8th graders at this school that are Varsity quality, does that speak highly on the 8th graders or poorly on the 11-12 graders? Or even the program?

Just a question.

The varsity is pretty bad...The JV is pretty good...sad thing is 3 very good players left to go to rival public school...much better program...didnt move or anything but somehow woked the system to be able to transfer...My son as an 8th grader started every game on JV last year...like I said was #2 pitcher and hit 3rd in lineup...the entire JV last year was 7th and 8th graders and 1 or 2 9th that didnt play and they won a little over half their games too...honestly he could cut all but 4 of the Varsity and bring up all the younger kids and be more competitive but he wont. The coach will play by mostly senority...lot of seniors graduate. The Varsity will be alot of Juniors and Sophmores next year

I was gonna bring this up also but gotta a little nervous about doing so...not criticising at all...My sons 2 hour practices consist of standing in a line in LF as a coach in RF hits fly balls....thats it for 2 hours...once a week they do bullpen, sometimes twice. and once a week they do hitting stations with no coaches supervision (Cages, tee, soft toss, and one other station)...players throwing to players in a cage so you can imagine how that goes...My son may get 5 good cuts 1 day a week...thats the JV and Varsity practices as the coach runs both and they practice together...He is bored and frustrated

JV had different coaches last year but Varsity coach helped

After reading this thread and your comments I would suggest that you have your son transfer to another program. I think it would better for everyone if you did. Just make sure before you make a decision on where he is going to transfer that the new program fits your needs for your son.

quote:

Originally posted by Coach_May:
After reading this thread and your comments I would suggest that you have your son transfer to another program. I think it would better for everyone if you did. Just make sure before you make a decision on where he is going to transfer that the new program fits your needs for your son.

Thanks....sarcasm is pretty subtle....but to respond to ur statement.....u are right i will make **** sure its the best choice for my son....cause the choice he was given by the school district sucks

quote:

Originally posted by dolphindan1:

quote:

Originally posted by Coach_May:
After reading this thread and your comments I would suggest that you have your son transfer to another program. I think it would better for everyone if you did. Just make sure before you make a decision on where he is going to transfer that the new program fits your needs for your son.

Thanks....sarcasm is pretty subtle....but to respond to ur statement.....u are right i will make **** sure its the best choice for my son....cause the choice he was given by the school district sucks

I admire your courage. This is not about us but you and your child baseball experience. It's a painful lesson why we should do our due diligence before high school to minimize issues such as what you (and others) are going through.

quote:

Originally posted by dolphindan1:

Thanks....sarcasm is pretty subtle....but to respond to ur statement.....u are right i will make **** sure its the best choice for my son....cause the choice he was given by the school district sucks

Colt McCoy's dad, a high school coach here in Texas, came and spoke at my church and said something that struck a nerve with me. His advice for fathers was:

"Prepare your child for the path, not the path for your child."

Kinda seems to me like it addresses one of the main reasons this country is heading off course.