High School turning into rec league!

My sons HS coach never had a meeting specifically to speak to parents at our yearly booster meetings, but he did post a list of expectations on the clubhouse wall with copies available.  It was then the responsibility of the player to go home to discuss with the parents what were the expectations of the player and his family for the season. FWIW, the HC was very approachable, he just preferred to handle it this way  and most parents respected his preference.

 

If a parent approached the coach for things that were a no,

no on the list, then the player was called into the office for a chat as to why he did not let the parent know what was on the list.  There were a few who had to sit out on occasion, as soon as the parent was made aware it had to do with stepping out of line, they settled down and let the coaching staff do their job.

 

Looking back I think that this was a really good way to set expectations without having to address parents (which coaches do not have to IMO).  Having to have the player accept responsibility for their parents actions may be frowned upon, but it certainly seemed to work, most of the time.

 

Then there was the time the booster club president complained about her sons V playing time, shortly afterwards she was no longer the president and actually had her son transferred.  She was a school board employee so that was possible without penalty!

 

Helicopter parenting is here to stay, and FWIW, its even worse than it used to be at the lower levels of any sport.

 

I dislike it when parents try to pull rank, try to buy playing time and dislike it even more when they come here complaining about coaches, at any level.

 

 

 

Helicopter parenting is here to stay, and FWIW, its even worse than it used to be at the lower levels of any sport.

 

and getting worse.There are problems with parents because over the years parents have been enabled to be problems. 

I think Golfman nailed it early on in this thread.  It's a two-sided coin.  Yes, parents expectations are often totally unreasonable.  But gone are the days of a Coach's word being unquestioned law.  Coaches are accountable both on and off the field as never before. That's why a smart coach will manage parent and player expectations firmly right up front by communicating clearly and consistently about his policies. If a coach can't do this, it will lead to problems if/when issues in the program arise.  He'll spend his time putting out fires rather than coaching. 

I can't imagine today's helicopter parents with the playing rules I grew up with. When I played LL you had to make LL. Stink was a relative term. Everyone could catch, throw and make contact. Each team had five 10s, 11s and 12s. If a 9 was good enough he could be counted as a 10. When I was nine I only played in half the games. I didn't get a plate appearance in each of the games I played. My father reminded me I was young and if I practiced hard I would EARN more playing time. Besides, the 12yo pitchers scared the hell out of me. I wore my LL hat everywhere as a badge of honor I made a team at nine. Imagine today's parents without minimum playing time. They're difficult even with minimum playing time.

Most parents when told what the expectations are and have an accountable coach will never be any problems.

 

The key word is most. As I said before it only takes one to make things miserable. Listen no matter what you say or do some parents think their kid should be batting in the number one spot and playing shortstop.

 

RJM,  used the term that is lacking these days, to EARN.

 

Many kids feel that they don't have to do anything to earn the right to play, they are so used to getting everything they want, so when it comes to earning playing time, or a position, or V over JV, many (notice that I use the word many not all) aren't happy. If player isn't happy, then mom and dad aren't happy.  JMO.

 

My son was taught that the coaches word is unquestionable.  I don't see why it should ever be any different, no matter what generation you are from. A player will play for many coaches if he continues to play the game, he has to learn that each and every one of those coaches does things differently and not always to their liking.  If there is a problem than the player approaches the coach, not mom or dad. 

By the time they each HS, unless there is an issue with a players health, your kids have to learn to handle their own issues. Unless the coach has an open door policy to parents, don't even go there.

As far as going to the AD, unless that coach has committed a crime, his boss is going to stand by him and I wouldn't expect it any other way. Parents who cry "unfair,  I am going to the AD," are making real fools of themselves and embarrassing their players.

 My son was taught that the coaches word is unquestionable.  I don't see why it should ever be any different, no matter what generation you are from. 

 

Just ask anybody that deals with kids. Teachers You spend more time covering your behind. If a kid does well it is I got an A If they do poorly the teacher gave me a D. 

 

today's generation is brought up with the built in excuse. It is always somebody else's fault. Generalizing? Ask a teacher or coach who has bee around for a long time compare their experience when they started and now.. You might be surprised

 

 

I taught for 14 years, until I began to see that parents were running the asylum. I left to teach in private school. Not sure which situation was better.

Always excuses, the first being my son/daughter has learning issues. No your children are just spoiled and manipulative. I ran a tight ship, they were pretty good in the classroom because they knew that they were dealing with someone who was fair but wasn't going to give into them.

One thing with my kids, they knew that because mom was a teacher never to mess up in the classroom.  If a teacher had to call home then they better run away from home!!!

The funny thing about my son's situation is that he is batting 4th spot as a freshman on Varsity.  I told one parent I know real well that, between he and I and the fence post,  I disagreed with this decision as I believe my son should have to earn that spot on performance and not reputation.  I think he has the potential to be in this spot but time will tell.  

 

The student gets an A he or she says I got an A The student gets a D he or she says the teacher gave me a D. I taught for 39 years. In the beginning you taught they learned. You took a test you got what you did. You turned in an assignment you got credit you did not you got a zero. towards the end the reason the student did not do well was(fill in the blank with some excuse) In my last year or so I just stopped to reason with some of it. It was impossible. example I gave an assignment say 10 questions they would do 5. Went back with a 0. they complained they should get half credit. I ask what they would say to a painter who painted just half of their house. Reply No clue. I could go on and on. 

 

In real life everybody does not get a trophy. 

The deterioration of the public school system is why we homeschooled our kids until high school.  My kids know there are no excuses in my house.  And in our homeschool we had prayer and corporal discipline if needed. So far my kids hit the ground running in high school and are able to use themselves as the measuring stick and not anyone else.  My 2nd son scored the highest weighted GPA and highest ACT score in the high schools history. 

 Homeschoolers have a great foundation when they enter the public schools, They can set good examples.

If you feel this way, quit and get a job in the business world.  After a few years of that you will find something to complain about in that field.  Life's tough deal with it.  Do you really think your job is harder than everyone else's?  

so you think all learning disabilities are fake?  i find that if the teacher can teach then all can learn.  The struggle is I find to many teachers are lazy and expect the book to teach.  My teachers may have been tough but the all taught and earned their pay.  

Homeschooling is needed because of the teachers union trying to get a safety net for teachers who can teach.  How about you get paid based on your performance?  

Pretty harsh.  This job may not be harder than others, but no one should have to put up with this kind of grief from self entitled parents unless they are making deep into six-figures.

A person's income should have no bearing on how they treat people. Whether a person makes 50k or 150k it's still a parent-teacher relationship.

This has kind of gone off on a tangent but I'll throw my 2 cents in. The issue, as I see it, is that the teacher/coach and parent relationship has gone from a partnership to an adversarial relationship. Parents are only worried about their children, and rightfully so, whereas the teacher/coach has to worry about all of the kids.

As a coach my sole focus during the season is the team as a whole. I can't do what is best for one if it sacrifices the whole. I can help make your child better as a ball player, but they have to be willing to sacrifice and put the work in to be better and successful. I don't have a magic wand to make them better. The same goes for in the class room.

I don't want to hear excuses for why you're child isn't successful. I want to hear what your ideas are to help him earn his/her success. The phrase I hate hearing on the field the most is "I'm sorry." after a kid makes a mistake. I always tell them, "Don't be sorry, be better."

There's a video I saw on YouTube and there is a speech being played as part of the soundtrack. The jist of the speech is this. When you want to be successful more than you want to sleep, eat, or even breathe... that is when you will be successful. You will be successful in sports, in the classroom, and in life.

LOL

 

You need to stick with whatever profession it is you're in and leave education to the professionals.  The reason the world of education is messed up is everyone outside of it thinks they know how to do it better.  You better believe SOME people fake learning issues (actually read what TPM posted and you'll see at no point did she say that learning issues are fake).  These are the same people who hang out in the parking lot of games and wait until we stop taking money at the gate just so they don't have to pay $5 that goes to help kids get equipment to play the sports they want to play.  Or sneak through the woods to get around the gate.

 

You better believe we deserve a union just like any other worker's organization deserves one.  Look back through history and actually understand the conditions that lead to the creation of unions.  We don't ever want to go back there.  You don't think it will happen because we're in the 21st Century?  I grew up in southern West Virginia in the heart of coal mining country.  My dad was a union miner his whole life and where we lived was strong union mines.  My generation didn't understand how important the unions were and several mines started offering more pay to stop joining the unions.  They took the money and the unions were broken.  Now my buddies I grew up with tell me they can't watch their kids play sports because they are always at work.  They now work a 10-12 hour shift and aren't able to call in to take days off or they will lose their job.  Their whole life revolves around making that company money.  That wonderful pay that enticed them to give up the union?  Isn't there anymore.  They basically froze wages after that.

 

I want a teachers union because I'm tired of the state screwing us over.  Ever since I moved to NC my pay has been frozen.  The cost of EVERYTHING has went up except for my pay.  All because the government cannot balance a budget.  So since they fail at their job I have to suffer.  NC is a "right to work" state meaning a union cannot be created for state workers.  Worst decision ever because we have no say in how we are treated - which is very poorly.  

 

All this being said I do understand that unions can get out of hand and that is no good for anybody.  But not having one is much worse.  Something's wrong when people who have master degree's have to work a second job just to make ends meet.  That means we really don't have summers off.

 

This is the most I've complained about my job situation.  I know I have a choice in what I do for a living.  I could change jobs and find something that pays better but I don't want to.  I love teaching and I love coaching and I love trying to help kids be the best they can be or at least better than their idiot parents but it's not a bed of roses. 

 

Edited to add - I've seen some home school kids who were much better off academically than their peers.  But the vast majority of home schoolers I've taught who came into public school are so far behind academically, socially and lack maturity it almost borders on mental child abuse.  They are normal kids who have a very difficult time functioning in normal situations because their parents thought they could do a better job than teachers.  But that's just my experience - could be different for others.  I readily admit that.

 Just rent "New Jack City" and let them watch it a couple of times and they will be caught up to speed. I know public school teachers feel threatened over the home school programs, Higher test scores, better behaved, and future money starting to go into all the families that are choosing this route. But myself I think it's neat that 3rd and 4th graders read at HS levels, excel at sports, win National spelling bee's, participate in 4H club's, without having to be exposed to the public schools one size fit's all babysitting program, and teachers only interested in their tenure.

Oh boy, if this thread goes into the "teachers are only babysitters" direction, we are in for a ride.  I'm a guidance counselor, and I hear this all the time too.  I'm staying out of this one. 

Can we keep this to baseball?

I agree,  however these things are intertwined.

First,  we don't need to hear about how much better home schooling is, because

I know lots of kids who are home schooled because the system won't allow them in, too many issues, so it works both ways. 

As far as the comment about learning disabilities, not all children can learn at the same rate, so if a child doesn't pay attention because he is too immature for his age, the first thing is "my child has learning disabilities".  No, most likely your child needs to repeat another year and you shouldn't have started him in first grade when you did.

Here is another one I had to listen to often, my child is too busy with sports and other social issues, so he can never get his homework done and you hold that against him/her.

 I realize that you are a single parent and don't have the time to help your son/daughter at home, so I allow homework time at the end of the day, but your son/daughter is too busy fooling around!  What a hoot when the kids told me their moms or dads do their homework!  No wonder your child can't pass a test without help!

 

Many parents don't realize there is a reason for homework, much of it to teach responsibility for when they leave grade school and to be accountable.  Homework is for them to do, and if it is not done the teacher can evaluate exactly what is going on.

 

unfortunately this spills over to other areas such as the need for parents to control other areas of their lives as well.

 

Not many people realize here that many kids go home to an empty house and usually don't eat dinner until mom or dad get home later, no 5 o'clock meals.  It is very difficult to be a parent these days, and the need to try to control is because there is so much in their lives they cannot.

 

Back to baseball!

Here's an off point response for you. Why do some people take it upon themselves to play traffic cop on this board? It's the HIGH SCHOOL Baseball Web. Any subject or direction that a conversation goes that is REMOTELY tangential to HIGH SCHOOL and/or BASEBALL is all good. Deal with it. If you've lost interest in the direction of a given thread, then here's an idea... go read a different thread, or start one, or post something new and different to try redirecting the thread you've lost interest in. Or go read a book, jog a mile, bake a cake. And if a little verbal conflict is what has you wringing your cyber hands, then go put on some big boy pants.

Look, a teacher's job is no better or worse than most of the jobs out there.  They all have issues.  Like parents, customers complain all the time, for nonsense bs.  You smile and do what you can to make the situation "right."  But I think it is the "my way, or the highway," we know better than you, coach (teacher) is all ways right, no accountability attitude that gets people.

SG, I always appreciate and usually agree with what you say here, but in this case Joes87 does have a point. Home schooling, prayer in school, corporal punishment, teachers unions, and the role organized labor in US history have all been mentioned either directly or tangentially, and all have the potential to send a discussion totally off the rails.  Heck, I could probably get a few people sputtering by stating my opinion on any one of those. 

I am glad you said it.

If someone wants to start a topic regarding the other things mentioned, then find the right forum and go for it.

In respect to the OP, the topic belongs to him, not to those who wish to change direction, me being on of the guilty ones.

Wow! just think how much more baseball my kid's could of gotten in had they been home schooled. They would of missed out on the English teacher throwing a beer party though!

You don't want to hear my opinion and what I really think.  Per the OP, if you are to the point that you are seriously asking yourself why you do it, then maybe you need to sit back and be reflective of all of the good things that come with coaching.  I could tell you pages of horror stories from teaching and coaching.  Still, I'd fill books with the positives.  I still coach golf and so, have not left coaching entirely.  I was the HC in baseball for a long time, HC in basketball and HC in softball as well.  I'm following my daughter now in college as she plays.  She is a junior.  As many of you know, I resigned my baseball job in order to watch her play in HS.  For me, it is like a piece of my heart has been torn out.  I miss it more than anyone will ever know.  I also know that I will never coach baseball again.  That is a hard thing to swallow.  I have a couple of years left before retirement and so, can't change schools now to coach baseball again.  Sit back and reflect on the bad, the good and then make a choice.  I know this for sure, the players need someone who wants to be there and someone who inspires them to achieve great things.  JMHO!

It should stay on topic. Getting personal gets off topic and is not helpful IMO. If someone wants to post non baseball threads then add OT(off topic) and see if there is interest. Comments like deal w it and big boy pants sound childish. sounds like this person just wanted to stay on subject which was parents vs coaches not home schooling. That is a legit topic-but not HS baseball related and could be posted as new topic to see if there is interest.

We all make mistakes with grammar, spelling and punctuation to which we mainly ignore, or possibly not even catch, but you may want to make sure your post is perfect before you criticize an English teacher.  Seems like maybe you should HAVE (not of) listened more to your teacher growing up.

 

Go ahead and blast away at my mistakes.

Typical!...and it was probably the parents fault the teacher did this illegal act also!

JCG - Appreciate and value your feedback as well. Truthfully, I stopped reading the replies on this specific thread a while back... lost interest. But so what? I'm sure others are into where it's going and that's great. If joes87 (or anyone) wants to grab the wheel and pull it back toward the OP, then go for it... reply with something new and enlightening. Or at the very least, go with the always popular repeating of something that's already been stated a half dozen times.

 

If a thread has crossed some lines into unacceptable subject matter... I don't know - political, religious, overly personal, whatever the hard boundaries are around here... then flag it to an admin and let them take action.

 

Maybe it's only me, but I just don't understand the "tsk tsk" post... joes87's above being just one example which I seized on. Either respond to what's being discussed... ie agree/refute/augment/redirect, follow along passively, or... opt not to read threads or individual replies which don't interest you! Meanwhile, let other's converse, cajole, argue and otherwise DISCUSS on this here DISCUSSION board free and clear. What's so difficult!?

 

Otherwise... What this board becomes is a fairly vanilla and less useful exercise, IMO.

What's typical?  That you come on here and attack my profession - coaching and now teaching - yet when myself, or someone else, defends ourselves you don't think we should?  That makes sense.

 

Plus, I have no earthly idea what you're even talking about on the illegal act.  Every profession has those who break a law of some sort.  It's not like one outweighs the other.  But speculating on what you've posted about some teacher having a party where alcohol was served - first, that is wrong and I hope the person is prosecuted fully and lose their license to teach forever.  Second, how about the parents who supply the alcohol and place to have a party?  It was so bad in the place I left in Kentucky they actually passed a county ordinance creating a more severe punishment if caught doing so.   That doesn't make all parents bad just one moron English teacher hosting a party doesn't make all teachers bad.

SG,

You can remove your own post.

 

I don't see why we have to flag an admin everytime we see an issue.  They have busy lives and work and don't sit around waiting for a flag to pop up.

I think that respectfully making suggestions to stay on topic has been followed here.

We have had many different types of discussions on this board over the years, religious, political, etc and it doesn't work. I could see where the mention of prayer and discipline could start a hot topic.

 

 

 

And I frequently do! For fear of upsetting the tranquil waters of the valued HSBBW.

I think you are mistaking a coach or teachers assertiveness as arrogance. 

 Your worried about this old man's grammar, before I criticize an illegal act that a English teacher participated in. Really? I should check that out first! in order of importance I'm sure, That's what is typical!