Thanks Midlo. My son should hear back about his ED application to Virginia Tech in 2 weeks or so. He's definitely interested in Club baseball at VT, or wherever he goes.
notex2 posted:Tribal:
my oldest son played a year in college then hung it up. It was really hard on me for a while as I could not "fix" it for him. I wondered what I could have done differently to set him up better for college baseball. Then, one day he was home and we talked through it. He told me face to face that he enjoyed the time we spent together in the game, but he just didn't want to play anymore. That made it ok for me to also let go of the game. He said he was happy without baseball and that lifted the weight off my shoulders, a weight I put there myself.
I think it is hard for us as parents to always stick to the "it's their journey" mantra. With as much time we spend with our kids coaching, cheering, and consoling - it's hard not to have a strong emotional investment.
When the time comes that your kid is ready to hang up the spikes you feel that kick in the guts. Even though you aren't out on the field - it is an end for you as well.
Ultimately, we survive. Our kids will move on to do other things. Some of those things they may love more than they ever loved baseball. When they find new passions, we have to remember that they still need cheerleaders. They will still look to us for advice and support.
At some point we will no longer be baseball parents, but we will still be parents. On the bright side, many of us will eventually become baseball grandparents, and that's not such a bad thing to look forward to.
joes87 posted:RKBH posted:Update on my son who decided a few months ago not to pursue college baseball. He has been accepted to the 4 colleges he applied to. 3 private schools, all 3 gave him from $18,000 to $26,000 academic scholarship $$. 1 was a Presidential Scholarship. We have 1 more to apply to a Patriot League school. He will have lots of opportunities to study abroad. At one school the tour guide was a senior soccer player and he said his 1 regret was not being able to study abroad due to his soccer schedule. That clinched my sons decision knowing that he made the right decision. Baseball is going to end someday for most of these kids and the trials and tribulations of going through the recruiting process with coaches who play games calling, not calling etc etc etc. best wishes to everyone going through the process.
Similar thing with my son, who decided not to play college baseball. Very high GPA and a good (high 20's, just could not get over the hump to 30), but not great, ACT score. Accepted at all the college's he applied to and has been offered around $20,000 to $30,000 in academic money to attend all the schools he's applied to. He made his college choice the first day of his Sr. year as he received an acceptance to his #1 choice along with a good scholarship offer, with some more to come according to the school. Funny thing is, this is the only school where the baseball coach flat out told him that there is no room for him on their team. Anyway, not worrying about the baseball recruiting stuff and having his college picked at the start of his Sr. year has allowed him to really relax and have some fun this year.
Good to hear my son is not alone. I can certainly sympathize with the parents who say they will miss it. But I have Sr. year and then Legion this summer. I will be making it my goal to find a child of a friend that I can go watch play baseball when I am able. I think that will be my therapy...and help me to ease out of watching. I enjoy the kids...love to see their little personalities come out when they play. I hope my son gets more $$$...but what he has gotten is good. Waiting for 1 more school to reply and then the Patriot League school - app due Jan 1st. He should have 6 schools to choose from. Just want him to be happy and thrive in college and follow his dream, whatever that may be. This site is great - appreciate all of the support.
RKBH posted:joes87 posted:RKBH posted:Update on my son who decided a few months ago not to pursue college baseball. He has been accepted to the 4 colleges he applied to. 3 private schools, all 3 gave him from $18,000 to $26,000 academic scholarship $$. 1 was a Presidential Scholarship. We have 1 more to apply to a Patriot League school. He will have lots of opportunities to study abroad. At one school the tour guide was a senior soccer player and he said his 1 regret was not being able to study abroad due to his soccer schedule. That clinched my sons decision knowing that he made the right decision. Baseball is going to end someday for most of these kids and the trials and tribulations of going through the recruiting process with coaches who play games calling, not calling etc etc etc. best wishes to everyone going through the process.
Similar thing with my son, who decided not to play college baseball. Very high GPA and a good (high 20's, just could not get over the hump to 30), but not great, ACT score. Accepted at all the college's he applied to and has been offered around $20,000 to $30,000 in academic money to attend all the schools he's applied to. He made his college choice the first day of his Sr. year as he received an acceptance to his #1 choice along with a good scholarship offer, with some more to come according to the school. Funny thing is, this is the only school where the baseball coach flat out told him that there is no room for him on their team. Anyway, not worrying about the baseball recruiting stuff and having his college picked at the start of his Sr. year has allowed him to really relax and have some fun this year.
Good to hear my son is not alone. I can certainly sympathize with the parents who say they will miss it. But I have Sr. year and then Legion this summer. I will be making it my goal to find a child of a friend that I can go watch play baseball when I am able. I think that will be my therapy...and help me to ease out of watching. I enjoy the kids...love to see their little personalities come out when they play. I hope my son gets more $$$...but what he has gotten is good. Waiting for 1 more school to reply and then the Patriot League school - app due Jan 1st. He should have 6 schools to choose from. Just want him to be happy and thrive in college and follow his dream, whatever that may be. This site is great - appreciate all of the support.
You are not alone... that's why I started this thread..I am trying to figure out how to deal with it..
Tribal posted:RKBH posted:joes87 posted:RKBH posted:Update on my son who decided a few months ago not to pursue college baseball. He has been accepted to the 4 colleges he applied to. 3 private schools, all 3 gave him from $18,000 to $26,000 academic scholarship $$. 1 was a Presidential Scholarship. We have 1 more to apply to a Patriot League school. He will have lots of opportunities to study abroad. At one school the tour guide was a senior soccer player and he said his 1 regret was not being able to study abroad due to his soccer schedule. That clinched my sons decision knowing that he made the right decision. Baseball is going to end someday for most of these kids and the trials and tribulations of going through the recruiting process with coaches who play games calling, not calling etc etc etc. best wishes to everyone going through the process.
Similar thing with my son, who decided not to play college baseball. Very high GPA and a good (high 20's, just could not get over the hump to 30), but not great, ACT score. Accepted at all the college's he applied to and has been offered around $20,000 to $30,000 in academic money to attend all the schools he's applied to. He made his college choice the first day of his Sr. year as he received an acceptance to his #1 choice along with a good scholarship offer, with some more to come according to the school. Funny thing is, this is the only school where the baseball coach flat out told him that there is no room for him on their team. Anyway, not worrying about the baseball recruiting stuff and having his college picked at the start of his Sr. year has allowed him to really relax and have some fun this year.
Good to hear my son is not alone. I can certainly sympathize with the parents who say they will miss it. But I have Sr. year and then Legion this summer. I will be making it my goal to find a child of a friend that I can go watch play baseball when I am able. I think that will be my therapy...and help me to ease out of watching. I enjoy the kids...love to see their little personalities come out when they play. I hope my son gets more $$$...but what he has gotten is good. Waiting for 1 more school to reply and then the Patriot League school - app due Jan 1st. He should have 6 schools to choose from. Just want him to be happy and thrive in college and follow his dream, whatever that may be. This site is great - appreciate all of the support.
You are not alone... that's why I started this thread..I am trying to figure out how to deal with it..
I will say one thing that I think I have learned. While my son is a pretty good player, he is not great. Does not hit homeruns, etc. BUT what I have learned watching other kids is that they are more aggressive than my son. He is a quiet child and I think that shows to coaches who do not know him (aka college coaches) . Only a few times has his "fire in his belly" been shown at showcases or college camps. I think that is why he was having trouble getting interest from college coaches. The coaches who were interested were able to see his "fire" but just not enough for him to be their #1 recruit - #3 at best when they were only recruiting 1 position play or none. I have learned a lot through this process. The other thing is that we picked the colleges and the pursued those coaches. If a fairly good player is OK playing anywhere, it is easier to get recruited. In the end it does matter which college you attend as far as career opportunities, etc - especially for the high GPA, SAT and ACT student. Done with my little soap box for now....again best wishes and keep me posted on where your son ends up. It will be OK - there are plenty of things to do on campus for athletes - lots of intermural or club sports depending on the size of the school. My son is looking forward to int. basketball, soccer, softball or club baseball if they have it and he can make the team.
RKBH posted:Tribal posted:RKBH posted:joes87 posted:RKBH posted:Update on my son who decided a few months ago not to pursue college baseball. He has been accepted to the 4 colleges he applied to. 3 private schools, all 3 gave him from $18,000 to $26,000 academic scholarship $$. 1 was a Presidential Scholarship. We have 1 more to apply to a Patriot League school. He will have lots of opportunities to study abroad. At one school the tour guide was a senior soccer player and he said his 1 regret was not being able to study abroad due to his soccer schedule. That clinched my sons decision knowing that he made the right decision. Baseball is going to end someday for most of these kids and the trials and tribulations of going through the recruiting process with coaches who play games calling, not calling etc etc etc. best wishes to everyone going through the process.
Similar thing with my son, who decided not to play college baseball. Very high GPA and a good (high 20's, just could not get over the hump to 30), but not great, ACT score. Accepted at all the college's he applied to and has been offered around $20,000 to $30,000 in academic money to attend all the schools he's applied to. He made his college choice the first day of his Sr. year as he received an acceptance to his #1 choice along with a good scholarship offer, with some more to come according to the school. Funny thing is, this is the only school where the baseball coach flat out told him that there is no room for him on their team. Anyway, not worrying about the baseball recruiting stuff and having his college picked at the start of his Sr. year has allowed him to really relax and have some fun this year.
Good to hear my son is not alone. I can certainly sympathize with the parents who say they will miss it. But I have Sr. year and then Legion this summer. I will be making it my goal to find a child of a friend that I can go watch play baseball when I am able. I think that will be my therapy...and help me to ease out of watching. I enjoy the kids...love to see their little personalities come out when they play. I hope my son gets more $$$...but what he has gotten is good. Waiting for 1 more school to reply and then the Patriot League school - app due Jan 1st. He should have 6 schools to choose from. Just want him to be happy and thrive in college and follow his dream, whatever that may be. This site is great - appreciate all of the support.
You are not alone... that's why I started this thread..I am trying to figure out how to deal with it..
I will say one thing that I think I have learned. While my son is a pretty good player, he is not great. Does not hit homeruns, etc. BUT what I have learned watching other kids is that they are more aggressive than my son. He is a quiet child and I think that shows to coaches who do not know him (aka college coaches) . Only a few times has his "fire in his belly" been shown at showcases or college camps. I think that is why he was having trouble getting interest from college coaches. The coaches who were interested were able to see his "fire" but just not enough for him to be their #1 recruit - #3 at best when they were only recruiting 1 position play or none. I have learned a lot through this process. The other thing is that we picked the colleges and the pursued those coaches. If a fairly good player is OK playing anywhere, it is easier to get recruited. In the end it does matter which college you attend as far as career opportunities, etc - especially for the high GPA, SAT and ACT student. Done with my little soap box for now....again best wishes and keep me posted on where your son ends up. It will be OK - there are plenty of things to do on campus for athletes - lots of intermural or club sports depending on the size of the school. My son is looking forward to int. basketball, soccer, softball or club baseball if they have it and he can make the team.
Honestly I think you will drive yourself crazy if you try to use any kind of logic to reason why a coach makes a decision.
Played last game Sunday night..team made it to county and conference finals, winning one but dropping the last one. I hugged him and cried like a baby.. Maybe I am trying to hang on to his childhood a little longer, I don't know. Maybe I am just an over emotional person.. it's been 2 days and still feeling down, His coach told me every great thing that happened for this team this year, happened because of him, my response was something like that's kind to say, he grabbed me and said no I mean literally its because of him. I guess I did something right lol.
It's been a major part of your life for years and years...Of course you aren't going to be able to just move on and not think about it. All those car rides, getting food between games, waiting out a rain storm, buying bats, and cleats, and oh hey do we have any lizard tape?
All of those have been a HUGE part of your life and your son's childhood, and hopefully you will look back with fond memories and be able to share them with a grand-kid one day :- )
You arent alone Tribal....my son is a rising senior who probably has the talent to play past HS at some lower level (great bat, good glove but slow feet), but is i believe in the process of separating himself from baseball. His junior season started out fantastically, and then just fell off a cliff. His PT dwindled to almost nothing. And at some point he stopped being pissed off when he didnt play. Then around the beginning of May (just before our HS playoffs started) he told me he didnt want to play summer ball this year. This time last year playing some form of college ball almost seemed a done deal. Now it wouldnt shock me if he didnt even play his senior season.
I already miss it, for all the reasons caco3girl listed. But in the end if not playing baseball makes him happy, then that will (eventually) make me happy. We've had a fantastic ride... baseball has brought to so many places we would have never gone otherwise. Ceredo-Kenova, West Virginia. Warner Robbins Georgia. Greenville NC. Lake Pointe. He's played games in South Carolina's stadium, and Coastal Carolina's. Hit a wood bat HR out of Clemson's stadium. Dozens of teammates. Hundreds of games and practices. Thousands of miles. Millions of memories. That time he got his arm caught in an elevator 2 hours before the LL state championship game. The whole family singing Kesha as we drove down the interstate. Weve been a baseball family for so long, it is going take a long time to get used to not being one.
LOL and now ive got all these vacation days i scheduled to go to baseball tournaments this summer and nothing to do. How the hell am i going to get out of doing yard work now?
Tribal,
Many of us have been in your shoes and understand what you are going through. Baseball was a huge part of all 3 our our son's lives from rec ball, high school, travel, and college baseball. My kids are into the NCAA tournament and we still follow some friends who made it to the minors and pros. However, a funny thing happened when baseball ended for my sons. They discovered a handful of new interests and they are pursuing those interests with the same vigor they did for baseball when they were younger. My wife and I are now have the time to do all the projects and international travel we couldn't for the last 15 years. Our family remembers all the baseball good times and the people we met along the way. Baseball is a big part of our lives, but there are other passions to pursue. You just have to figure out what is the next big thing in your life. JMO.
My son hung up hits cleats two weeks ago so I know what you are going through. I have found it nice to have all this free time. And at the same time, its missed. My son and I went to watch a couple HS teams left in the state playoffs play last weekend. Very different perspective of the game when you don't have someone playing. Saw the HS teams summer schedule today and started to think to myself, how do I get to a game or two. Im actually hoping my son may want to go see them play later today as they are playing against a cross town rival.
Right now I'm thinking I may use my free time to watch Bob Ross videos on youtube and teach myself how to paint.
It ends for every player and parent at some point. The player knows when that is and accepts it before the parent does .
youve got a healthy son with a future .
Who cares about baseball ! You are blessed
If you never played, were not a fan of baseball until your son played, I believe it would be extremely difficult to see it end because the only game you know included your son. For those in that situation, I hope you'll stick around, continue to support the game either through a youth sponsorship, maybe volunteer coaching or some other form of involvement. I know many people that are going through this and it has been pretty cool to see them stay involved.
My wife is just like the parent above, she had never attended a baseball game in her life and as we dated, we went to a couple big league games. She thought it was boring but after 14 summers of watching her kids play, she has been converted to a full blown fan of the game. I found out that if you don't really understand the game, you don't really have an appreciation for what you are watching. After years of seeing her children go through the highs and lows at the plate, lose a game on a critical error or conversely, get the game winning hit, she appreciates all that goes into what she sees at a game now. Most of all, she knows what the parents of the players she sees on field are going through...lol.
I don't think it has much to do with the sport itself, I never watch it or pay attention to it.
An update.. he wound up playing some college ball but decided it wasn't for him any longer.. It's weird though this being the first summer with no baseball at all.. I find myself seeing if I can find the fields we played on in different states by memory on google maps lol.. feeling the summer heat immediately brings me back to sweltering summer tournaments etc... I still have dreams about him still playing (I mean actual dreams during sleep).. maybe I should seek help LOL..
Tribal posted:An update.. he wound up playing some college ball but decided it wasn't for him any longer.. It's weird though this being the first summer with no baseball at all.. I find myself seeing if I can find the fields we played on in different states by memory on google maps lol.. feeling the summer heat immediately brings me back to sweltering summer tournaments etc... I still have dreams about him still playing (I mean actual dreams during sleep).. maybe I should seek help LOL..
Thanks for the update. Life goes on...
My son had a self-described amazing club team tryout Fall 2017 at Virginia Tech, 2-2 with a walk (only 5 hits in the game) in the prospect scrimmage....and got a "it was a tough call but..." He moved on quickly and had an amazing, non-baseball year at VT. He had just started back with his high-level mens wood bat summer team in 2018, then he almost ripped off the tip of his middle finger on right hand in a freak hiking accident, 6 weeks ago today, and that was it for summer baseball. Try again in 2019, albeit with a wickedly scarred middle fingertip.
Life goes on...
Find a hobby Tribal, buy a boat or ride a motorcycle across China. That’s my plan when it ends for my boy.
Well as embarrassing as it is and pathetic as it actually is I rediscovered the love of my life. My best friend, my wife. Married for over 35 years now and I take her on dates. I bought us a couple of kayak's and we really enjoy it. We take long walks on our property where I carved out some awesome hiking and ATV trails. We go watch our son coach on the weekend's when the games are not too far away. We talk. To each other. I listen, to her. Rediscover life man. As Shove said buy a MC and go for a freaking DRIVE>>>>>>>>>>>>. Have fun. Enjoy life. Every day is a gift don't waste one second looking in the rear view mirror. Create new memories and live.
I’ll third what ShoveIt and Coach May said above. While my son is still playing, he is 2000+ miles away. For the first time in his life, he has played baseball for 2 months and I haven’t seen a game. Well, I did get to see his last start on MILB TV, but haven’t seen him in person.
I’ve always wanted to learn to fly. So I started flying lessons in May. Getting close to my solo. Met a friend and bought a plane. Now I have a new hobby that I love and takes up WAY too much time. At least now the wife and I may get to see more of our kids as they are spread out in different places.
For nineteen years and two kids spring and summer was all about baseball and softball. Being four years apart for four years the week was high school baseball. The weekend was college softball.
Since they both “went away” to college I couldn’t go every weekend. I filled in those weekends with local high school and college games. When they were done playing I still went to local high school and college games. Three years later I find myself finally not checking websites like a junkie for the next fix/game.
Now my mother’s age/health is an issue. I commute between two states (100 miles) every week. I’ve reestablished friendships where my mother is in assisted living that go back to LL and early teen days before we moved. In the meantime I’ve already mapped out four, four country European trips to take when my time is really my own. And I see my kids every couple of months for a week. It’s enjoyable to see them as well adjusted, young adults.
As a kid coming home from college you’re going to hear, “Dad, can I have the keys and $20” a lot. But it won’t be long before he’s done with college and gets a job. Seeing a kid grow into a responsible adult is right up there with watching him play baseball.
RJM posted:For nineteen years and two kids spring and summer was all about baseball and softball. Being four years apart for four years the week was high school baseball. The weekend was college softball.
Since they both “went away” to college I couldn’t go every weekend. I filled in those weekends with local high school and college games. When they were done playing I still went to local high school and college games. Three years later I find myself not cheacking websites like a junkie for the next fix/game.
Now my mother’s age/health is an issue. I commute between two states (100 miles) every week. I’ve reestablished friendships where my mother is in assisted living that go back to LL and early teen days before we moved. In the meantime I’ve already mapped out four, four country European trips to take when my time is really my own. And I see my kids every couple of months for a week. It’s enjoyable to see them as well adjusted, young adults.
As a kid coming home from college you’re going to hear, “Dad, can I have the keys and $20” a lot. But it won’t be long before he’s done with college and gets a job. Seeing a kid grow into a responsible adult is right up there with watching him play baseball.
Oof! Yesterday was my daughter's (my son's twin sister) last travel softball game. She has decided not to play college. We didn't think it would be rough, as she still has one more HS season. But, she was a wreck, and seeing her ball, only made me and my wife as well.
I know there's more to life, but I don't even want to go there yet. One more year of HS for the both of them, and hopefully 4 for my son. Not ready to think beyond that yet!
I chimed in back when the OP originally posted this. My son made a similar decision to not play college ball. At the time I was very supportive of his decision but was not looking forward to the end of watching him play. That was over a year ago. I can say now we have adjusted to life without baseball and things are great. I thought I would have a bunch of free time, but that never seemed to materialize. Some how my wife and I seem busier then when the kid was playing. We spend a lot more time with our friends as well as traveling and visiting the kids at school. I’m trying to find a hobby to take up, but I can’t seem to find the time for it.
As far as my son, he has adjusted well. He says he misses playing but is happy with his decision. He had a few baseball related things happen to him after he finished playing.
First one was a contest at the local minor league team. They were giving away a t-shirt for fastest pitch from the mound. He did not pitch his Sr year in HS as we were loaded with pitchers and the need was for his bat. So he had not pitched since the previous year and was about 2 months after the end of the HS season, so he had not throw in a while. He hit 87 on the gun and was feeling pretty good. Turns around and sees a friend of his who is a few older and plays D1 ball. Kid hit 89 to beat him out for the shirt.
Secondly, after the MLB draft, the year after he graduated HS, he received calls from 2 schools he was talking to before making the decision to not play in college. They both had lost a player unexpectedly to the draft. This was after the application deadlines, but both coaches told him they could push through and application if he wanted to come play there. One school he had no interest in, but he did talk to the other for a couple of days. The one he did talk to was the safety school on his college list, so there was some interest in going there. Some text’s email and phone calls. In the end my kid decided that he wanted to attend the school he already registered for (his number 1 choice).
He really enjoyed his first year in college. Loved having the free time to join a Frat, go on their annual skiing trip and actually going on spring break for the first time. Now I just need to get him to show me the spring break pictures… At the end of the day I will say my son made the decision that was best for him and has no regrets.