How to handle when the boy first discovers girls

This is gonna be good................

Where is Panther Dad?

quote:

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Originally posted by FormerObserver:
This is gonna be good................

Where is Panther Dad?

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Let's see now. How can I stir the pot?

"Everybody kind of perceives me as being angry. It's not anger, it's motivation." Roger Clemens

KellerDad ...

I just love the fact that you came to the Ladies' Lounge for advice on boys and girls ... do you think if there were a Gentlemen's Lounge, you would go to your peers for advice?

All kidding aside ... our son, who was also a great student, was a bit of a late bloomer as well ... altho he had discovered girls and all their fine attributes earlier, he didn't date till he was a soph in high school. And altho this may scare you off, the little gal he started dating as a high school soph is still around 5 years later, and will probably become his fiance at the end of this coming June.

We did face some challenges, when the interest seemed to be all pervasive. But he has always had a dream, and fortunately, for him, she has always shared his dream for him. It makes a world of difference if the love interests are also sports enthusiasts.

Anyway, just keep your ears at attention and keep your eyes open. I am sure you have a son with a good head on his shoulders, and if he has a dream for college and/or baseball, he will more than likely learn to balance his future dreams with his dreamboat.

And try to relax ... it ain't all bad.

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Go HIGHLANDERS !!!
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Keller Dad
If girl's have led to your destruction as a boy you should have all the answers! LOL
That does in fact make you an expert...
Do as I say...not as I do...Ring a bell?

I notice that "girls" seem to be an issue quite often when the boys are not on track...Maybe we can do a quick poll of the Ladie's here with daughters....are the "boys" always the derailing factor????

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard

Kellerdad...

my son had his first (gosh he'd kill me if he knew I was commenting on it) - possibly first "real" girlfriend that it appeared his heart was actually involved in the process this past summer...at 17.

So after much debate we allowed her to attend with us an out of town game and BK was pitching...we feared the distraction...we feared his focus was going to be, well you know somewhere else...

However it worked out fine...he threw nine innings...right at 120 pitches...was going strong...coach was watching the pitch count...we WON....tied from the 3rd - 9th...till we went ahead by one...in the 9th.

His girlfriend said, "So, do I get to come again..?"

Next time she went he had a chance to bat...(he didn't do that much...not his expertise) and he got up to bat...and hit a home run out of UTA's park...such fun.

So...girls aren't all bad. But fortunately they broke up...freed up his time...which was great!

Keller Dad,

I have two boys, 15 and 17, and have more questions than answers about the girl situation. However, I would like to hear your story behind the quote: "But, girls worry me. They led to my destruction as a teenager...... "

C'mon, tell us more and we'll learn from that!

TX04,

"So, do I get to come again..?"


With a question like that, she might have been a good one that got away..............

Most girls not too interested in baseball or the boy enough to be very involved.

This is my first time in the ladies lounge and i find a topic I have had alot of experience with. Lucky me. As a Mom of 2 teenage sons, I believe I can contribute to this conversation. My oldest son, a high school senior and early D-1 signee, has had the same girl-friend since his freshmen year. From the very beginning I make it very clear to both of them that school came first , always! She has turned out to be very supportive of him. She has travelled with us alot and seems to have a possitive affect on him. She is an outstanding student and has really kept him on track with his grades. I do wonder how things will work out between them when he leaves in Aug., She is a year behind him in school. I believe if you lay out the rules to everyone from the start it will be fine.

baseballdownsouth,

Welcome to the hsbbweb!! We are glad you found us and look forward to your contributions to the different forums...this one happens to be the very best of them all IMHO!!

This discussion hits close to home for me as well...my freshman son at OU has a girlfriend who is a junior in high school and they've been dating for almost 3 years...he has never gone steady with any girl for even close to that long..I wondered how things would work out when he went to college this year but they are still going strong so maybe she is a keeper, I guess only time will tell....he talks to her very often on his cellphone but knows that he dare not run over his minutes so that hasn't been a problem so far and he made a 3.5 his first semester so his grades haven't suffered from the long distance relationship so far at least...he is getting in gear for his first collegiate season and we are all very excited..fortunately, we will get to see all of the weekend home games and some of the away games as well. While I would prefer not to have a girlfriend in his picture right now, I guess we just have to trust in our sons' decisions and hope they keep everything in perspective. Please let us know more about your son such as what college he signed with...he might be a future opponent of some of our sons, you never know!



Ann

Ann,
Thank you so much for the welcome. My son has signed with UL lafayette. We are very pleased, it is only about an hour and 15 minutes from where we live. Hopefully we will be able to see him play alot. It is hard because I have a younger son who will be playing also. I'm really looking forward to my son's last high school season. He had a great jr. season. He is a left-handed pitcher. I saw his name listed on the forum for signees, I was surprised to see it , i didn't know it was there.

Girls are no longer a problem, WOMEN are a problem...grown *** women in their late 20s and early 30s with jobs and cars and houses...I can't talk about it anymore I am getting a migrane!!!!! I am just waitng for one these chicks to step thru my front door...so I can snatch her bald

GO NAVY!!!BEAT army!!!!!

baseballdownsouth
You have a private topic

Small world it is! Ours signed early at UL too! Buddy G. the RHP from FL.

He has broken up with a girl just prior to each of the last two high school seasons. Something about to many irons in the fire I think.

Geaux Cajuns!!

Dad04,
I'm new to this and don't know what you mean by "private topic", please explain.

baseballdownsouth,
If you have a private topic or PM, you need to click on the tab that says "my space" and then "private topic". These topics are between you and one other person. They are private (somewhat). You can check with hsbbweb on the confidentiality of these threads. I would think that hsbbweb and maybe some other "moderators" can all view, edit them, so they are like all email, "not completely confidential". Hope this helps!

Knowledge is Power! Thank you Mavens and HSBBWEB!

Thank you for the help. I found it by trial and error. Sometimes I just have to play around on this thing till I get it right.



"Good is never good enough when better is possible"

I've always thought that the HSBBW had the answers to all things baseball.

If you guys can help us figure out teenage boy/girl relationship stuff, then I'll need to reconsider expanding my evaluation and place the HSBBW on an even higher plane...

Even though we have 3 boys, I have no advice except to say, hang in there -- in 15 years it will all be better (at least we hope).

Say Hey!

formerobserver...I tend to agree about that...

most girls aren't that interested in coming to the games...truly...

she could have been a "future' High School Baseball website contributor!

We missed it with her...

HotMama, When I was in my early twenties, those were the best.

"Everybody kind of perceives me as being angry. It's not anger, it's motivation." Roger Clemens

Ladies - I am soooo dissappointed - I can't believe this is in the ladies forum and no one has addressed the fact that girls get a bad rap on this.

If a young man CHOOSES to spend more time chasing a pretty face than shagging balls and swinging a bat does that make it her fault? I think not !!

Girls do NOT derail a boys dream, they offer an alternative which he freely chooses, usually with gusto. Will he look back on the choice as a mistake - oh certainly many do - but let's be honest - it was their mistake not her fault.

Young men - girls CAN NOT ruin your baseball dreams. The choice is yours. What they can do - and will - is offer such an interesting alternative many of you will falter and choose them over baseball (at least for awhile) - and live to regret it. But as always the choice is in your own hands.

AParent

I agree completely.
Above I responded to KellerDad
asking if our girls always blame the boys when
things don't go well for them. You said it better than I ever could....

First, let me say that part of my post was in jest.....but just part.

For background, I am the middle son of 5 boys, no sisters. I have 4 kids, 3 girls and 1 boy. Kinda opposite of the household I grew up in.

My son's older sisters have been blessed with stable hormones. Thank God.

My Mother, the Saint that she is, keeps asking me if her grandson has lost his mind yet. She means, has the hormones taken over. She experienced it with all 5 of us, and was astonished it took this long.

Now, on how girls led to my destruction.....well, I thought with the wrong head in HS. When my girlfriend told me to jump, I jumped. My son's mother, my first wife, led me around like a puppy dog because she controlled the one thing in life that mattered at the time......

I have spent the weekend having a number of long talks with my son and now realize I was over reacting a little. He is MUCH smarter than I was at his age. I can thank his Step Mom for that!!!!

Oh, to add, why did I come to "your" lounge to ask this question?

Simple, I respect Mother's opinions on girls and how to handle these type of situations.


I am just a dimwitted man who still has raging hormones.....LOL

KellerDad

I like it so much better when the hormones get the blame and not the girl - after all without those raging hormones they would not even noticed the girl - let alone be distracted by her.

Sadly I don't think it makes any difference how smart the young man is. It's more a matter of hard he lands when he tumbles head over heals the first time. Ahhh - if there were just a way to predict that.

Good luck with your son. Mine is experiencing college - baseball - and 7 month old twins - and so far I can honestly say it is going quite smoothly.

Where there is a will - they will find a way.

Chill - it was great - but I couldn't be that subtle.

"I am just a dimwitted man who still has raging hormones.....LOL"



Keller Dad, that was very funny! Seriously, though, I do appreciate your story from high school, because it helps shed a little light on the young male's perspective. I live in an all-male family, and they are not the only ones who think the opposite *** can be difficult to figure out!

AParent, good to hear that your son and his beautiful twins are doing well!

Keller Dad- as long as she has her own life and interests and isn't too clingy and demanding it can be a good thing. Same goes for daughters also. I am in the fun position of having a senior son and a junior daughter, but I find that the minute the" why didn't you call me??" stuff starts, they lose interest. Balance is the key. Welcome to the club of teens!

Aparent, I fear that you grievously underestimate the powers of the fair $ex - for good or evil. My older son had his first real GF as a soph. Great kid - played softball. They treated each other with respect (it was cute.) Of course, they broke up after 8 months or so, and along came (low, menacing background music) The Girlfriend From He11.
Ohmygod! All Mrs. Dog and I could do was hold on and try not to overreact. It had a distinct negative impact on his athletics and academics. She called him constantly. Everything was DRAMA. Things happened. There were Incidents. Alcohol was an Issue. We got to speak with some very fine Police Officers. Nothing too bad (for our son, anyway) but - it was just constant. Fortunately, eventually it ran its course, and he's been without a steady GF as a senior, and he's back on track with school and sports (so far.) Now he's the great kid we always knew before.
I think the bottom line is that they are susceptible (girls are too) and if they fall in with the wrong member of the opposite $ex there's just no easy cure.
Jeez - teenagers!

D'oh!

PDog

There is no easy cure when they fall into a wrong path with their buddies either. Sure, girls are a lot more tempting in many ways than their buddies are, but they are still just a temptaton.

My oldest was much too easy to raise. My youngest on the other hand learned very early never to say "they made me do it".

Yes, they can make you so angry you WANT to hit them

Yes, they can make you so curious you WANT to try something with them

Yes, they can even ridicule you so much you WANT to prove them wrong

Yes, they can make it look like so much fun you WANT to join in

BUT they can't MAKE you do it, only TEMP you.

P-Dog,

We have also experienced "The Girlfriend from Hell" (can you hear MY ominous music? ). What did we learn from this experience? To make sure my son parks his car IN the garage the next time he breaks up with a girlfriend!

PDog

quote:

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Of course, they broke up after 8 months or so, and along came (low, menacing background music) The Girlfriend From He11.
Ohmygod! All Mrs. Dog and I could do was hold on and try not to overreact. It had a distinct negative impact on his athletics and academics. She called him constantly. Everything was DRAMA. Things happened. There were Incidents. Alcohol was an Issue.

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I do not fear the girlfriend. I fear the girlfriend that is 17 going on 28 and has learned to use her feminine wiles on men. The one who fears baseball as competition and creates constant drama to be the center of attention and then uses S** to control a young man. That is the devious kind of athlete killer we are talking about. You know the one, the church girl to your face and the POLE DANCER after they leave the house. So let us not deny that those kinds of girls are detrimental to young athletes because they don't see his athletic future as viable, important, to their own needs. It is easy to say that it is the guys choice alone, but naive to think that the girlfriends from hell do not exist.

"I love the HSBBW"

quote:

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You know the one, the church girl to your face and the POLE DANCER after they leave the house

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Hey now leave me out of this!!!!

GO NAVY!!!BEAT army!!!!!

Mama, I am blushing. Still waiting for that bikini pic though!



The dog that I am.

"I love the HSBBW"

lol nope gonna stay out of it, had a post all written up but nope .

Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppppppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO NAVY!!!BEAT army!!!!!

BigHit

Yep, there are girlfriends from down under (and no I am not talking about Australia) - I agree. Some young men are quick to catch on that they do have a choice - and that they are going to have to make it. They kiss her good bye and send her packing.

Other young men are naive enough to think they can have both. (obviously we are not talking about the normal girlfriend here but the pole -cat). They send their mind packing instead of the girl.

Thus even the girlfriend from the hot spot can't take all the blame for the young mans downfall.

Very entertaining topic... 05 kid, On his way to a great life... Quite personality, 1300 SAT this past December,
HUGE expectations this upcoming Junior Year on Varsity with his team to finally compete for the post season title... He's going through the college baseball recruiting process as well...

But I know he has alot more workouts he must commit to/extra hours refining his game, before he'll be ready to play ball at next level...

Then this past August...

Along comes a cheerleader, definite high maintenance type... it was 5 to 7 days a week, "hanging out" 'as he calls it.. Had to lay down some ground rules after christmas break when mom and I realized this was a consistent reality in our son's life...

Limit him to 2 days a week face time, 2 hours max, during the school week.. the basic parenting stuff... it's been 7 months and counting for the 2 of them... He still gets his school work done but when he's done he's out the door on those 2 days,

They were on for 4 months, then one day said they both wanted to be friends, but she still kept calling him...
He has his buddies he runs with but whenever she calls he's there for her...

Dads, I recommend a daily "very casual" interaction... hows it going.. how's what's her name doing... it's funny how they never give you too much info.. so u gotta be suttle about it... you'll be able to sense how things are going... She comes from a family of career minded folks, her older sister completed college, he dad's a big shot with a gov't contractor... and his "friend" hit a 1250 SAT and has the college aspirations/goals herself.

Maybe he'll come home tomorrow and say they no longer are friends or maybe they'll keep going until after high school and into college... All you can do as a parent is be there and monitor what's happening... It's a delicate line you walk as you try to gather information... We all were young once and turned 18 and then were free to make our own decisions.
It's a prents worst nightmare to press too hard and they turn
18 and are out the door.. However, as adults we know relationships can come and go... You just gotta be there for your kids...

And finally why do i feel like i'm in an "Ann Landers" Twilight Zone Episode.. LOL... I was expecting to read comments about Harvards Upcoming Labor Baseball Day Camp! n e one have comments?

Well, Bighit, you described the GFFH to a "T" - except for the "church girl" part. There was no ambiguity or pretense with this GFFH. I left out the spicy parts, because this is, after all, a family website!

D'oh!

Check this out. How about the GFFH who decides to break up on game day and then go out the next day again. Happened more than once. GRRRRRRR.

"Everybody kind of perceives me as being angry. It's not anger, it's motivation." Roger Clemens

Sark- a girl who would do that doesn't care much about what's important to him- sounds like playing games to me.

amom, I could tell some stories about this "phase" of a girlfriend. All I can say is, PHEWWW, I am glad that is history.

"Everybody kind of perceives me as being angry. It's not anger, it's motivation." Roger Clemens