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48 replies

Is there a disadvantage if mom is the only parent along on visits and showcases??

K Kungaloosh100+ posts
Due to my husband's work schedule and health, he has not been as involved in my boys' baseball activities as he would like.

He can have little to no exposure to the sun, so going with us to Ft. Myers in the middle of June is out of the question for him.

Just wondering if there was some bias if dad is not along?

Thanks
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hokieonehokieone5,000+ posts
I'm a dad but can't imagine it making a difference whether a mom or dad goes along; in our family, we both are equally unable to be totally objective when it comes to watching our guys play ball.

When the recruiting trips happen, different story as I suspect coaches put some stock in their perception of the parents as they're trying to get a read on your son.

Enjoy the showcase-some great bonding time is coming your way. I'll be at Ft. Myers as well with my 06.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Visits...I don't think it matters, but some coaches like to get a read on Mom, especially when it involves going out of state for school. After all, it is HER little boy! Ha
Ha
Showcases...you could send him alone, no one will notice the parent is not there!
Last edited by TPM
Bighit15Bighit155,000+ posts
quote:
Is there a disadvantage if mom is the only parent along on visits and showcases??


Only if she is a psychotic (sp?), controlling, embarrassment.

Coaches know that the mom needs to be comfortable to let her son go. The problem becomes when it is more about what the mom wants than what the player wants. That can scare some coaches off.
F FormerObserver1,000+ posts
quote:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is there a disadvantage if DAD is the only parent along on visits and showcases??

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Only if HE is a psychotic (sp?), controlling, embarrassment.

Coaches know that the DAD needs to be comfortable to let HIS son go. The problem becomes when it is more about what the DAD wants than what the player wants. That can scare some coaches off.


I just thought that needed repeating Big, but I edited a little. The all caps were mine......
Bighit15Bighit155,000+ posts
I would have made the same comment had the question been about men. See it fits. Big Grin

Only if he is a psychotic (sp?), controlling, embarrassment.

Coaches know that the dad needs to be comfortable to let his son go. The problem becomes when it is more about what the dad wants than what the player wants. That can scare some coaches off.

Get my point! lol
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Former Observer and UR,
Thanks for the clarification on that point. I only repeated what was said to me by a Head Coach from top 25 SEC school. Therefore it doesn't matter who goes on visits or goes to showcases.
What I failed to mention was his comments about having to deal with Dad's who live vicariously through their son's achievements....
Bighit15Bighit155,000+ posts
If I am not mistaken, the question was asked about moms. I did not post it to any one individual other than to the person that asked the question. That is what I addressed. Mommies live vicariously as well. You can take it for granted the same applies both ways. I didn't realize that it had to be explained. All of our kids who have been recruited have probably had the same conversations. I just assumed everyone would know that. I guess I was wrong.

At no point did address my comments to anybody. I simply gave my opinion. It was in fun, if you can't recognize that......

Just for the record, we all live vicariously through our sons to some degree. What parent doesn't want to see his/her son do well. What parent doesn't take pride in their accomplishments, what parent doesn't try to minimize their failures and give them advice to help. That is not a bad thing unless you take it to far and interfere. Some of us recognize the difference.

I have seen parents so paranoid about their son's performance that they blame the other kids for not fielding the ball, their loser attitudes, make excuses if their son doesn't do well, tell the coach how to run his team, complain about other kids success, think that the whole world revolves around them, etc. Now that is living vicariously to a very negative degree.

I witnessed a game last week in which a dad from the other team ragged our ss the entire game. Calling him names, etc. All because he is jealous that his kid is not considered to be as good. That is living vicariously and negatively. I digress.

Back on topic.
F FormerObserver1,000+ posts
quote:
If at all possible, coaches, recruiters and scouts want to make sure that Mom is happy as well. So - carry on


Catfish is right.

..truth be known is that a nice looking mama probably has more impact on the male coach if anything, just looking at it from a female v. male perspective................. biglaugh

Head coach asked me where mama was. "We don't need her", I said. We'd be here all day answering all the questions." Coach said, "I'll be sure to tell her that when I meet her....."

Coach says "One dad wanted to know how many at bats he could GUARANTEE his FRESHMAN son next year." Coach says, "I'm giving YOUR SON a chance to play. Do you want it?"

Real truth is that Mom and Dad don't matter too much.

What matters is if son can PLAY.

Baseonballs, take your son. He'll handle it just fine and so will you.

When the coaches called about recruiting they never asked to speak to me or his mother once.

Guess what our sons are about grown and on their own and it is fun watching them learn to handle it.
Last edited by FormerObserver
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
The original post asked whether a father not being able to attend a showcase would make a difference. No matter who has to go with their son, mom or dad, should not make a hill of beans difference to anyone. This includes showcases, tournamets, visits to schools, tryouts, etc.

Making reference to a mom being psychotic, etc is wrong, though maybe said in jest. I am glad that I was not the only one who felt that it hit a nerve. Thanks for admitting so. Many moms are able to see things differently through their sons eyes, there is that special mother/son relationship that some coaches recognize are a stronger bond than the father/son relationship. I think that is what the coach was refereing to. We ALL want the best for our kids. We ALL take pride in our children's accomplishments, no matter on what level they play.

All parents, at some time or another, make excuses when their son doesn't perform as to their liking. I have been guilty of that on a few occassions. It does become the coaches fault, the pitchers fault, the catcher's fault, etc. The reference to parents being jealous. I don't think most parents are jealous, but more frustrated with themselves that their son just didn't get to the level they, the parent, felt they should be. Player's are compared to one another (good example are showcases) and this causes lots of anxiety. The really special parent is not the one whose son will go on to play ball at a higher level, but the one that accepts that their son just might have to be a lawyer, businessman, whatever instead of a major league star.

That parent talking trash about the ss will talk trash the next game about the pitcher.,etc. That is not living vicariously that is living on disappointment. Living vicariously is seeing yourself in place of the other person, I for one never really quite could see myself as a major leaguer (haha), IMO, I think Dads have a tendency to do that more than Moms, my husband has often been guilty of doing it (he admits), I think that is what the coach was refering to.

Another issue that comes into play is when other outside influences begin to feed on the success of our children, making us feel less than adequate if we feel differently than they do. For some reason many moms get the impression if Dad doesn't go along, it just doesn't look right. NOT!

I think that I tried to stay on the topic.
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Former,
When we had one home visit, Coach told us that the dads always want to know about son's playing time, the moms want to know what they will eat!
Scout comes for visit, tells us Dads want to know how long it takes to get to ML level, moms want to know where their sons will live.
Now as a coach, scout, which questions would you prefer to address first or not at all. biglaugh
Bighit15Bighit155,000+ posts
quote:
Making reference to a mom being psychotic, etc is wrong, though maybe said in jest.


quote:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Is there a disadvantage if mom is the only parent along on visits and showcases??

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Only if she is a psychotic (sp?), controlling, embarrassment.


Keep it in context. I made no reference to moms being that way I simply stated that it was bad if they were that way. Big difference. I did not say that moms were or that most moms were. Nothing wrong about that unless you take it personally. I am sorry if touched close to home. Everyone else is having fun with it. Lighten up and read it in context.
BK'sMOMBK'sMOM1,000+ posts
I think I'll just add a few "mom" thoughts....

When my son took some visits last fall that were attached to our travel showcase team outings...so it became a family outing on some weekends...

Being the researcher, I would gather my info on the team, learning about the coaches, their needs (potential)....the background and history of the school, the educational side, etc...

Then I'd prepare hubby and BK so they would ask certain questions... because some of us love researching and planning...and other's need to talk (it's good for a teen to speak up)...

Once on a 2 day visit to the college my signed with, I didn't go...not because I couldn't, but because of the limited months dad and son will have together (besides I went to most games and showcases while hubby worked)....

this gave my men some special time - father and son...on the road, at the school, in the hotel, eating together....

Still, as soon as they got on the road headed toward home on that Sunday...leaving the university...they called me first!!

Balance...we all bring different aspects to the table...

And as parents (male or female) it's about our care and concern for our children...

need I say more...if you can go....I say go.... 14
ChillChill1,000+ posts
Moc1

Your comment is right on.
I'd venture to say that any lady taking the time to be a part of this website won't fit into the psychotic category.

Nowhere...will you find the kind of
"Baseball Ladie's" like are posting on this site...They are sharp, they understand the showcase/college process, they can talk about the game with anyone and they regularly give support and encouragement to all of us here with boys playing ball....It's what we women do...And judging from a recent private poll....
some of us are very thankful for our sister's here and recognize and appreciate the shared passion for the game.....
TRhitTRhit10,000+ posts
As Chill and a number of other "MOMS" on the site can attest we welcome both parents to our events, especially our recruiting seminar. In most cases the "MOMS" are in on the everyday aspects of the recruiting scene---we feel it is great for both parents to be in tune with what is happening---in many cases DAD cannot attend a showcase because of his work schedule and without a doubt MOM is more than welcome

Keep in mind a showcase is not evaluating the parents--the player is being evaluated---

Tom Rizzi
www.collegeselect.org
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