My heart will go on

Son why do you think you can not be honest with me? What is more important to you , going to a concert with your girlfriend or playing baseball? If a college coach asks me about you do you want him to know that you chose a concert over playing? How do you think your teamates feel about this? What if you came to play a game and there wasn't enough guys to play because they all decided to go somewhere with their girlfriends? Do you understand that when you make a commitment to something that you should honor that commitment? Now when you have a legitimate reason to miss how am I going to be able to trust that you are telling me the truth? If you were the coach how would you feel? If one of your teamates did this how would you feel about them? If you were me what would you do about this? Think about it and then come back to me with your answers.

Coach May

Committment is something that for many went out long time ago. As with everything if it is convenient then I will be there. As a high school coach years ago i met with the players and told them the schedule. Practice everyday except sunday and the scheduled game days, March 1 till hopefuly early June and playoffs. If your social calendar did not allow for this just tell me now and off you go. If you had to miss a practice or game(had to be a legitimate reason) you tell me in advance but if you lie you are done period end of story.

.....and we wonder why kids get burned out.

and we wonder why kids get burned out?

Coach I wont be at the game tonight because my girlfriend wants me to go to a concert with her. You know I don't want to get burned out so you really need to let me go.

Coach Im going fishing today I can't make practice like everyone else. You don't want me to get burned out do you?

If a kid wants to play then they have to make a commitment to the team and themselves. If they don't fine. You can't have it both ways. Whats next vacation days or mental health days for sports? You know we don't want to burn them out. If they get burned out attending a game or a practice then they need to find something else to do. Its fine with me if they don't play. I don't want anyone on my team that does not want to be there. But if your on the team you will be there unless you have a legitimate reason. Such as sick or family emergency. So lets see we let them miss whenever they want to because we don't want to burn them out. Wow!

Maybe kids need to learn to make a decision and then stick with it regardless. When the season is over or they have a day off they can go to the concert. If they had rather go to a concert with their girlfriend than play the baseball game I don't call that burn out. I call it something else.

Coach May,

Seems like there are 100 ways to prevent burnout. How about not going out for the team and then you can attend all the concerts you like. Would you then be subject to concert burnout?

As an intermediate solution to the burnout problem, you can play for the local youth rec league and play about 16 non-competitive games a year. This should leave plenty of time for non-baseball activities. The down side of this approach is you will likely not be able to develop your skills enough to play past rec league baseball. Thus, you will not likely ever play in high school and certainly not college.

In our area, we have the biggest public high school in the State. Thus, if you want to play at the high school level you better play on a competitive, traveling tournament team from a young age. Every once in a while, a rec league player will make it but very rarely.

I am not aware of many of the serious type of players wanting to do other things (e.g., attend concerts) than play baseball in the summertime. The ones that did, have all fallen by the wayside over time and are now free to pursue other activities.

The kid should have told the truth and tried to work it out with his coach....that is the only problem I see.....We are talking summer league....chances are the kid also played fall ball and then regular season ball....enough already! There isn't anything wrong with a kid wanting to go to a concert....who also plays baseball.....as long as it okay with the coach....and the truth be told.....

Coach May.....you are taking one concert date and making it seem like the end of this kid's playing career....you are wrong....but....the wonderfulness of this discussion is that you can run your team your way....and......good luck to you.....

sounds like A-Red has a valid comment

summer IS the hs player's offseason, and as the summer coach DID handle it, in offseason hs coaches should just butt out and mow their lawns or whatever they do until fall conditioning starts

but why did he punish the rest of the team like that?

clevelandad,
you'll be surprised to know that colleges are full of very good baseball players who fish, hunt, swim, waterski, play music and a variety of other things which generally contribute to having a real life outside of baseball

it's sad to hear some parents and coaches promote Jimmy Pearsol clones

Arizona! Nice to hear from you BTW, huge congrats to your son and much success in his college baseball career!!

Seriously, I do see both sides to this one. I am basically speaking from my son's experience and realize there are no rules that will fit all situations. He would rather do nothing else than play baseball. He never asked me to miss a game for any reason because baseball was always his preference. I would be honored to be on Coach May's team.

The player should have said he was going to a Guns and Roses concert.

they had a bit in ""How to lose a guy in 10 days, where the girl was trying to get the guy to dump her by taking him to a Celine Dion's concert.

Bee,

I am not saying that I would impose that on anyone. My son does all those things with me such as fishing and hunting. With him, baseball always came first because it was his preference. We love to fish in the summertime -after or sometimes between games

Okay...have been trying to post....and not well.....that there is good news for Cleveland Dad....he can be on Coach May's team! Lighten up guys....we take baseball very seriously here too....but we are always sensitive to burn out....and we try to accomodate a teenage boy's need to play baseball 99% of the time to that 1% when something important does come along. Regular season.....never....but instructional summer ball.....if it's okay with his coach.....it's okay with us....and I know....we wouldn't make Coach May's team....and that's okay with us too...

Thanks for the congrats Cleveland.....this post hit home....son sick.....but in New Mexico playing ball.....he won't give in or up....baseball first...think I'm getting burned out!

is this about burn out and committment to the team or is it about honesty, trust and integrity.

Missing a game here and there in summer league is pretty commonplace I think. Certainly class conflicts and other issues can arise in the regular season. Telling a lie to your coach and ultimately your teammates (at any time) strikes me as the real problem here.

IMO the kid should have been honest with the coach and tried to work things out, made sure enough guys would otherwise be at the game, etc.

Besides, going to a Celine Dion concert would strike me as punishment enough

quote:

Missing a game here and there in summer league is pretty commonplace I think. Certainly class conflicts and other issues can arise in the regular season. Telling a lie to your coach and ultimately your teammates (at any time) strikes me as the real problem here.

I agree with hey batter. No lies allowed! The words "prior commitment" or "family issues" or "items of a personal nature" will cover a lot of events. A Celine Dion concert may be stretching it but if the date were a real knockout, I probabaly would have attempted it in my younger days.
Fungo

I think she better be a supermodel and you gonna marry the girl before any guy is forced to willing watch Celine

Agree with Arizona....

It's the coach's life...For a kid, there is more to life than baseball and the intensity that lots of kids are required to have because of their PARENTS.

I include myself in the scenario.

When I pick a team HS Summer Fall it does not matter, I ask for a commitment from the players. (If they can not make that commitment thats fine dont play. Its the kids decision.) When you take a kid you have to let someone else go that wanted the opportunity. To simply say that its ok to lie to the coach and the teamates and go to a concert instead of honoring your commitments in order to prevent burn out (Wow!) Yes there is more to life than baseball. I simply say if you say your going to play then play. If you dont want to play dont play. If your burned out why are you on the team in the first place? Your darn right I ask my players to be honest forthcoming and honor their word. They ask the same of me and I do so. How can I let a kid do whatever he wants and then play him in front of a kid that honors his commitments to his teamates? I wont. I am proud of my stance and my commitment to my players. I ask the same level of commitment to the team. If you cant give it dont play. By the way whos fault is burn out anyway? The Coach? The coach for providing an opportunity for kids to play in the summer? Lets see how would this sound "Coach Im feeling a little burned out with baseball. I really would like to miss the game Friday night and go to a concert with my girlfriend. Is that ok". Tuesday night rolls around the girlfriend is busy right. Kid shows up for the game and expects to back in the line up in front of kids that were at the game Friday night, you know because he has recovered from his burnout. What a joke. I dont need these kind of players. Couldnt play in our program. Darn proud of that fact too. If you disagree I could careless. I would just like to see your reaction when Johnny played in front of your son on Tuesday night after recovering from his burnout and your son was there every practice and game regardless of his playing time. Sure you wouldnt have any problem with it would you.

You all remember the tale of Max McGee and Vince Lombardi.

Given the price of Celine Dion tix, one has to wonder whether the last part of the famous tale might ring true here:

"... And if the reason is that good, take me with you."

I don't like the lie, and I'd give it to him good and threaten the heck out of him. But ultimately you've got to lighten up on this one.

... And that's the way it is.

Coach May....let's get one thing straight....I said from the beginning that not telling the truth was wrong....now you can twist and turn what I said anyway you want....to try and justify your opinions......the lie was wrong.

Burned out? Hung up on that....are you not Coach? Get over it.....don't exaggerate what I said...kids do get burned out by over zealous parents.....and coaches.....and that's a fact....look at BigHits post....on "Single Minded Focus"...and take notes....you may learn something.

Sensitivity? Find some....it's not the US Marine Corps we are talking about....it's not life and death....it's kids playing baseball....pure and simple....

Johnny playing in front of my son? Hasn't happened yet Coach....because my son is a very good baseball player....dedicated and driven to be the best he can at his game. I'm the one having to put the brakes on....and remind him from time to time that there is life outside of baseball.

In the future....keep my son out of your posts.....while we may read posts from "Coach May's Son"...mine doesn't want to get involved...he'd rather spend his free time going on dates with his girlfriend...to include an occasional concert.

In conclusion....when I read your posts I see a Coach whose way is the only way....and you seem to think that is okay....my way or the highway....right Coach? It seems that you feel you are doing these kids a great big favor....but I think in reality.....if you didn't have a team to coach.....you'd be lost.

It is about commitment. period. I always like the deal where so and so misses a game or 2 because he had this or that to do and when he returns the kid who played in his place rides the pines.

Will...how did we get from a kid who wanted to be excused from one game to take his girlfriend to a concert....to kids who miss "a game or 2", and the issue of kids who played in his place? None of this was in the original post!

No one has posted and said that if a kid misses a game he should not sit the bench when he returns.....that's up to the coach....have him sing or sit the bench.....who cares?

Committment? Yes....that's very important to understand and uphold...but in real life.....we stumble, we fall.....we make mistakes.....remedies are situational...and differ depending on the facts.....you have to look at the total picture...to do less can lead to....dare I say it again? Yes! BURN OUT!!!!

Arizonared

Ok getting back Sorry for my indisression.

Burnout? Well then do something else.

That's the point Will....they do go and do something else.....and then mommy and daddy....and the long suffering coach....who all spent countless time and financial resources on making junior the best baseball player ever.....wonder what happened.....what went wrong?

Long suffering coach? Mommy and Daddy paying all that money? Are you reading something into the original post?

No Will....but nice attempt to turn the tables...you sir, to quote, said:

"Burnout? Well then do something else".

I'm simply responding to that comment...though I must admit.....when I used the term, "long suffering coach"....some previous posts did come to mind.

commitment works 2 ways both coaches and players

Will.....who said it didn't? What is your point?

Arizonared

You said
"they go and do something else" Thats fine but just keep on doing it. Who said commitment was not a 2 way street. Suppose the coach did not show up for a game?

My son has played on some very good teams. we have had kids miss games, we have had coaches miss games. Lighten up people. It happens. It is the lie that is wrong. Period.

The whole commitment issue is obvious. My son never missed a game, etc. You make a commitment and that is that, but........Let us look at it from another point of view. Coaches, would you want a player who has decided he is burned out in the middle of a summer season to show up day after day and be miserable and quit the game altogether? I saw it happen to an extremely talented player. I care about the kids. I would not be happy about it, but I would tell him to take some games off, get some sleep, have some fun and call me at a predetermined time. I would not punish him for being burned out. I would for lying. I get a little disturbed by the "I won't play him" attitude if we are taking about a burned out teen with too much on his plate. I would hope most of you travel coaches are there to develop players and not "just to win". The teams interest comes first, but I would like to be able to care about my players as well. So many of these posts take an opposed point of view. Sometimes it is not black and white.

Anyone who is not guilty of calling into work with a "fib" for a much needed mental health day please step forward

quote:

Anyone who is not guilty of calling into work with a "fib" for a much needed mental health day please step forward

I know that my 2 sons have suffered from burnout. One will be a junior this coming school year and another that will be in the 8th grade. My junior has played for his HS team since he was in the 7th including Summer and Fall teams. Last year he decided to take a break from baseball and do something different during the Fall season. He went and played football. Probably the best thing for him to do. He was getting tired of the grind. The baseball coach didn't like it but he got over it. Playing football has helped him in two ways. One he came back this season and went from a .300+ hitter to a .400+ hitter this season. Second he has more determination to win and play better.

My other son played some games on the JV team this year. He didn't get into all the JV games and he didn't expect to. But he was at all the games with the exception og one when he had to miss to get an award for being on the honor roll all school year. He started out playing Summer ball and then after a few games he decided that he wanted to to do something else. He played all last Summer with the exception of our vacation. He's young and has plenty of time to play. He is going to play the second half of the Summer season. And he doesn't expect to play the first game or even the second game. He knows that by taking off right in the middle of a season has it's drawbacks.

My point is that we as parents shouldn't push to hard. And coaches should be able to notice when a player is becoming burnout. Ask them if they need a break. Don't pro players take a day off every once in a while?

I dont get it. Burned out? I know I would have played every day if I had the opportunity way back. And yes for everybody on this site that is way back. I see the opportunities that these kids have to improve themselves. I look back and if I had access to an indoor facility and could hit in the off season who knows what would be. People on this site are asking about how to get better well to get better you have to play. Now talented kids have the opportunity to play more than years ago. You either take advantage of it or you dont.

quote:

Anyone who is not guilty of calling into work with a "fib" for a much needed mental health day please step forward

As the joke goes: man calls in telling his boss he can't come in because he has a n a* glaucoma. Boss says he's never heard of such a thing. Mans says yep, I can't see my a** coming in to work today!

What does burn out have to do with a player taking his girl to a Celine Dion Concert ?
Obviously the kid has priorities in a different sequence than players who "want" it

I guess he had to see her in Vegas because she has great deal working there all year round--what they call an exclusive

Must be good money because i understand Donald Trump is discussing the same sort of situation wit Michael Jackson to work at Trump's hotel in Vegas all year round

By the way Coach May my kids can play on your team--won't be much different than the ship we run

deleted

quote:

What does burn out have to do with a player taking his girl to a Celine Dion Concert ?

They are 2 totally different issues. One is about character (lying). One is about a kid having too much on his plate and probably suffering from trying to be the perfect kid to please his parents or peers. jmo Burn out does happen and I don't usually blame the kid for it. The game is no fun for him any more and that is sad. Baseball is a game and is supposed to be fun.

The commitment has to be up front and understood on both sides. I'm big on commitment but we had a situation where we didn't have enough players to form our Pony 13 B all-star team this year unless I accepted a player who said up front that his first commitment was to tournament basketball. Once I took that kid on that basis I had to take the rest of the kids on the same basis. We were lucky to have 2/3 of the team at most of our practices. A couple games into our warmup tournament our catcher's wrist was broken when he was hit by a pitch. That left us with only 11 players. Our pool play games for the sanctioned Pony tournament were Thursday and Friday and the semifinals on Sunday. The basketball player told me well in advance that he was playing a tournament Friday through Sunday. Then at Wednesday's practice another player's family told me they were going to Disneyland for the weekend. I guess that was the only weekend Disneyland was going to be open this year. That left us with 9 players for Friday's game and Sunday's game.

What's the moral of the story? I'm not sure. The kids played well and did far better than we expected coming within one game of reaching the regional tournament. The kids had a lot of fun and got to play quite a few games. One kid played basketball instead of baseball. One kid went to Disneyland instead of playing baseball. Other kids got to play more innings than they would have otherwise. Probably the only person who suffered at all was me as I stressed out about not having enough players show up or somebody getting hurt and our having to forfeit.

How did we get from a kid lying to his coach to "burnout". Wasn't in the
original post either.

I know where Coach May is coming from and have to agree. No one put a gun
to Johnnie's head and told him to commit to the summer team.

"Burnout" is a totally different subject. Kid can still be totally dedicated to baseball but something may come up(like behind homeplate seats to a world series game) that a little "talk" with the coach beforehand could be handled very easily.