NLI Signing Day Parent's Social Media Faux Pas

Me? Personally, I am posting a picture of my kid signing on my personal Facebook account. It's private and posts can only be seen by my family and friends - and I only have family and friends as connections. But, I'm not posting it anywhere else on Facebook...not on the school parents Facebook page, the HS baseball team parents FB page or on any of the other community pages. I have seen people do it in the past but that's not me and my kid would be upset if I did it anyway.

I wasn't sure about Twitter? I have an account and it is open - basically because I almost never tweet anything. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to post something there? If it was the expected thing and would look strange if I didn't? But, I did a few searches and it seems like it's not something that parents do. Schools will post a photo. And some travel teams will post something. But I didn't see any parents posting. So, I am not doing it.

But, this is my take on it. Maybe others have a different opinion?

You’re way overthinking this. Enjoy the moment. My kids posted on Facebook. The school put a group picture of every commit (D3’s we’re also recognized) on their website and in the two local papers. The conference listed all commitments on their website. I bought the paper. I took a screenshot of the picture and emailed it or mailed it to family.

I suggest you consult with @IAmThatGuy. He has this whole recruiting thing figured out. I’m sure that includes social media posts.

Francis, whatever you do don’t dance naked in the town square fountain.

@RJM posted:

Francis, whatever you do don’t dance naked in the town square fountain.

I only do that for money!! Lol

Francis,

Some kids are reluctant to share personal accomplishments and do not seek to share information publically.  Some kids like the spotlight when it is with their teammates and other kids don't like it at all.   I think It is different when you are playing baseball and the center of attention, and not playing baseball and the center of attention.   

Honestly, I'd run this by your son to see what he is comfortable with since this is about him.   I have 3 boys...two of them have no problem being the center of attention and the other wants nothing to do with it.   As a parent, I understand you are "out of your skin proud" for your son.   I get it.  But, I've learned over the years that people have very different comfort levels with attention and privacy.

JMO.

@adbono posted:

I suggest you consult with @IAmThatGuy. He has this whole recruiting thing figured out. I’m sure that includes social media posts.

Absolutely.   We are instructing the Head Coach to post on all social media sites.  Once he posts we will be very active with all our personal social media accounts and each of our burner social media accounts.  Francis I recommend that for each social media account you and your son have, you should have 2-3 burner accounts.  Many here may think IAmThatGuy is a burner account but it's not.  It's very real.  Keep an eye out on Clemson sites.  You may see my son's name.  We are torn between Clemson and Northwest Baseball State but leaning again towards accepting Clemson.  It's close.

@fenwaysouth - I hear you! My son is the type who wants his parents not seen or heard. That's why I try to make sure I am not overstepping.

@Francis7 posted:

@fenwaysouth - I hear you! My son is the type who wants his parents not seen or heard. That's why I try to make sure I am not overstepping.

If my kid did not want me to do it, I would be sure to do it.  That's just life in my house.  How can you overstep your kid?  They are your kid who drives your car, uses your cellphone, sleeps in your house, and probably wears your clothes and spends YOUR money.

I think it is a special day so treat it as so.  Our concern was not wanting to show up his friends or teammates.  He received a lot of attention his two years here in HS so we tried not to add to it personally.

@PitchingFan - I always tell him "This is your thing, not mine. You are the player. I just support you. If you ever decide you don't want to do it anymore, that's 100% fine and I support that too."

So, I can't then tell him "Even though it's your thing and no reflection on me, good or bad, I am going to disregard your wishes and do whatever I want regarding your news."

My son's HS never does signing day on the actual day, it's always after. I'm sure this year will be the same. I'll end up sharing their post when it happens.

At my son's official visit this this past weekend the coach said they don't announce signings of their incoming class because they can't post the non-scholarship players (I forget what the NCAA reason was).

IMO you can never go wrong with taking the high road with this stuff.  For me, I always choose to go with less.  Pride in your kids is a great thing, but how it materializes sometimes runs the risk of making it more about you/the parent than the kid.  I have almost no social media presence which makes it far easier for me.  When my son committed, I didn't tweet or retweet.  I simply replied to his tweet and said this.

When he did his signing ceremony deal, his school and high school baseball team tweeted out pics of it to which I said and did nothing online.  All the pride I expressed was from my mouth to my son and I think that's where it's best left.

When my son was 8ish, I can remember being a loud cheering parent for him at games.  That was probably an after effect because I had coached him the 3 years prior where it was uncouth to cheer for him as a coach.  But I quickly made a conscious decision to be the quiet parent when it came to MY kid.  I always cheered loud and proud for his teammates but never for my son.  I left the cheering for my son to personal time between he and I.  That way I never ran the risk of being "that" parent.  As a bonus, it's actually really cool to stay quiet when your kid does something great.  When you're quiet, you get to hear everyone else cheer for your kid and I've found that to be far more satisfying than doing so yourself.  My daughter is now up to her eyeballs with volleyball and I take the same approach with her, but I made it clear to both my kids that me staying quiet publicly when they succeed is by design and not any indication of a lack of my pride or happiness for them.  Just my 2 cents and YMMV.

This is a much needed Monday post. When dealing with a teenage kid, I am not if there is ever a right way.

@2022NYC posted:

This is a much needed Monday post. When dealing with a teenage kid, I am not if there is ever a right way.

True story. I have friends my age and older who started with kids before me. When my two were born, those friends all warned me "Wait until they are teenagers and then you'll see..." And, I discounted the warning and thought not everyone is the same.

Mine are now 17 and 19 and my friends were right. Teenagers are a challenge.

1. @Francis7 posted:

True story. I have friends my age and older who started with kids before me. When my two were born, those friends all warned me "Wait until they are teenagers and then you'll see..." And, I discounted the warning and thought not everyone is the same.

Mine are now 17 and 19 and my friends were right. Teenagers are a challenge.

My daughter is the oldest by five years. When she was little I shook my head wondering why other kids on the playground (mostly boys) couldn’t be a civil as she. Then we had a boy! 😵‍💫

Our family tree had twins on both sides every other generation. Based on this we should have had twins. Looking back I used to joke about what would have been worse, three year old twin boys or fourteen year old twin girls.

As a preteen my daughter had a friend who looked like a twin. People asked me what it was like having twin girls. In high school my daughter was 5’10” 140. Her “twin” was a 5’2” fireplug. They were both softball players.

@Francis7 posted:

Maybe the stupidest question I ever asked here? (Yeah, I know, that would be a feat.) Well, at the least, maybe it would be a fun conversation starter?

When it comes to a parent posting on social media on the day their kid signs, are there do's and don't's? Or, are there no lines for socially acceptable and people can and should do whatever they want without concern, judgment and repercussions?

And, is there a difference between making original and personal posts and sharing/retweeting posts by others?

I stopped here.

@russinfortworth posted:

I stopped here.

I’m right there with you. It’s exhausting. I was joking when I posted this a long time ago, but I really mean it when I say that HSBBW really needs an entire category in Forums dedicated to Francis.

I think his question is helpful. I like hearing how other parents and players feel about it while pondering how much parent-led publicity my kid may want, or not.

@adbono posted:

I’m right there with you. It’s exhausting. I was joking when I posted this a long time ago, but I really mean it when I say that HSBBW really needs an entire category in Forums dedicated to Francis.

Lol. You guys would be bored without me!

This post is cute and reminds me how my friends with younger "kids" always ask about "protocols" before homecoming/winter formal not wanting to ruin their kid's big night or embarrass themselves.  No shame in asking your friends for guidance!

@adbono posted:

I suggest you consult with @IAmThatGuy. He has this whole recruiting thing figured out. I’m sure that includes social media posts.

badda bing badda boom!

On Twitter and IG, I posted a picture of him signing with the comment “It’s official. We have a Dawg!” And tagged his HS and college team and used their hashtag. His college also did a cool tweet that I retweeted. He’s a shy kid but even he retweeted that one with the note “Officially official.” https://twitter.com/jwood_29/s...751460864172043?s=21

His tweet might have taken some prompting from the big sisters.

I was more personal on FB.

Basketball players are crazy with the videos and the shortlists and big announcements. We never did that with our daughter—her signing day was treated the same way his was. So maybe I did more than some baseball parents but we did far less than most basketball parents. I personally think signing day is like graduation for sports—a huge accomplishment after a crap load of work and dedication so I think it’s fine to tastefully celebrate and I loved seeing and congratulating his friends for their commitments as well.

In general, twitter is practically a chronology of their major athletic and life accomplishments, Facebook is where I really share with friends and IG is something in between.

@PTWood - I would hope that my son would retweet the college's tweet that day. But, I hesitant to suggest it because that's usually a reason for him to say no.

@Francis7 you should have had older sisters for him. 😂 They’re so helpful.

@PTWood posted:

@Francis7 you should have had older sisters for him. 😂 They’re so helpful.

Oh...he has one! She's not a sports fan at all and not interested in any of it.

We let folks know privately (and here, too) after the kids have actually been accepted ED.  We have zero problems with seeing others post, though.  We have noticed that parents around our parts are either REALLY into the announcement thing, or they're not into it at all.

Thread topic reminds me of an old joke.

95-year old man goes to the doctor and the doctor says "What's new?"

The old timer says: "Well, I just married a 22-year old and every night we're at it like bunny rabbits!!"

The surprised doctor then asks "Any problems?" and the man says "Nope. No problems at all!"

This made the doctor then ask: "So, then, why are you telling me?"

And, the old man answered with: "I'm not just telling you...I'm telling EVERYBODY!"

@wildcat posted:

I think his question is helpful. I like hearing how other parents and players feel about it while pondering how much parent-led publicity my kid may want, or not.

I had the same view with the NLI as I did about attending games. I had my turn. This was my kid’s turn. The only people I told were family members and those who asked.

@Francis7 posted:

@PTWood - I would hope that my son would retweet the college's tweet that day. But, I hesitant to suggest it because that's usually a reason for him to say no.

Suggest it and say nothing more.

@Francis7 posted:

Lol. You guys would be bored without me!

I said to myself when I got on here this morning, "thank goodness for Francis in the offseason"!

I am so with Fenwaysouth on this.  I didn't want to be "that parent".  My son doesn't post much.  But, another parent did, including the large party that night after the signing.  That kid didn't get into one game his freshman year in college and off the team his sophomore year. 

Re social media

One thing you can’t control on social media is a “friend” pinning something to your page. I know a kid who was suspended from high school and the team due to a picture of a beer in his hand being pinned.

So, while going through the recruiting process my son changed his Facebook name to Callme Ismael. He was still active on Facebook. But, recruiters couldn’t find him.

Well I hope everyone who doesn’t share on their social media feels comfortable sharing here so we can all celebrate with you!

I posted on my personal FB page and he posted on his twitter.

@PTWood posted:

Well I hope everyone who doesn’t share on their social media feels comfortable sharing here so we can all celebrate with you!

My 2022 committed about a month ago and today signed with Freed-Hardeman University, a very solid NAIA program in West Tennessee.

HSBBW has been a great resource as we plowed - eh, maybe crawled is a better word - through the process. Lots of perspectives are shared on this forum publicly - and some of you have been kind enough to share thoughts when responding to my PM's.

Congratulations @johnlanza!! Great news indeed.

If you son/daughter is ok with it....then go ahead.  I see nothing wrong with it.   Just make sure you get the name of the school right.  There is nothing worse than seeing University of Indiana or Pittsburgh University on a kid's social media posts when he/she tells people he received an offer lol

@johnlanza posted:

My 2022 committed about a month ago and today signed with Freed-Hardeman University, a very solid NAIA program in West Tennessee.

HSBBW has been a great resource as we plowed - eh, maybe crawled is a better word - through the process. Lots of perspectives are shared on this forum publicly - and some of you have been kind enough to share thoughts when responding to my PM's.

Congratulations John and family!

@nycdad posted:

My son's HS never does signing day on the actual day, it's always after. I'm sure this year will be the same. I'll end up sharing their post when it happens.

At my son's official visit this this past weekend the coach said they don't announce signings of their incoming class because they can't post the non-scholarship players (I forget what the NCAA reason was).

Son's HS did their ceremony today. I'll vent a bit here but they do it for D1 and D2 committed athletes, with a separate event for D3 because "they don't sign a NLI" IMO this is crappy and you don't know if the D1 or D2 athletes are signing NLIs. Anyone that's playing at any level in college has put in a ton of work to get there and they should all be celebrated together in my opinion.