Parents at practice

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Originally posted by OUBsbMom:

My advice to parents entering this phase of their son's baseball experience would be to see how he feels about it and to be honest with your reasons for wanting to attend. If you can both agree that it's a good thing, then go for it and don't worry what others might think.

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OU,

IMO - Really well put. If my kid wanted me there - I would be there. And if he didnt - I wouldnt be there.

Not much more complicated than that.

After all - first and foremost - it is his endeavor to deal with and hopefully enjoy - not mine.

Fungo,

As usual... Very well said. How is it that you're able to express my feelings so well all of the time? You are good!!!!

Jason

Ann

Perfect answer.
The girl's and I are planning a Baseball trip
this summer to Baltimore and I sure hope you will try to join us.......

Hit & Run
My point was that if a coach is confident and secure with his program and what he is teaching then he should not mind an audience, believe me! If he does NOT want an audience and tells the parents not to come to practice then that says to me that he lacks confidence in what he is doing.

I'm not sure of the level of your coaching????
I am sure of what I have seen first hand.
Your presumption concerns me.

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard

Practice or game.......if a parent is going to cause a problem,it does not matter if they ever attend a practice. If they attend games and don't like what they see, they will complain.

For a coach to forbid parents from watching a practice, is IMO immature and silly. If a parent is out of line at a game or a practice, you corner him and read him the riot act.

The most enjoyable time I have had in baseball is taking a week in the fall and watching my two sons during fall practice in College.

I have had the privlege of watching many players practice over the years in my job, and have only run accross one coach who was unhappy. Most of the coaches that I run accross make the practice as valuable to watch as a game. They are the real good coaches who develop real good players.

Haven't read much of the thread so far. But if the question is whether parents should watch practice, me response is why not? I do it when I have the chance, and it has never been an issue one way or another with anyone. Of course, I have made it a point that nobody is watching me while I watch practice. It's a lot of fun sometimes (and I include football or basketball practice in this, as well). If not, I leave.

PG---I could just see you with your nose pressed up againist the glass

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Basketball practice was tough for me to watch because they locked all the doors.

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Parents are welcome in my gym as long as they stay quiet and don't distract the player. But I have had players tell me that they wished their parents would stop coming to practices because it annoyed them and made them feel smothered.

Here is an interesting situation we have with one the parents on our 7th grade team. He shows up to practice(and games) drunk..really drunk...like don't light a match drunk. I can only imagine how his daughter feels but what is puzzling to me, is his wife is there and she doesn't say anything, she just ignores him and moves away from him when he gets loud. We are having a coaching meeting on Friday to decide how we are going to handle the situation.

GO NAVY!!!BEAT army!!!!!

HotMama

I feel for you. I had a similar situation coaching an All-Star Team only the drunk was another coach. I nipped it in the bud the first practice, pulled the guy aside and excused him until he could show up sober. I felt the kids deserved that respect. Good Luck.

I can't say for sure, but I can almost guarantee you that MOST high school ballplayers do NOT want their moms and dads attending school practices. And it gets progressively worse as they get older. By the time they are 17 and 18 year old seniors, if the WANT their parents at practices, then they are in a very, very, very TINY minority. In reality, if they tell you they don't mind you being there, they probably know you are a gung ho parent who loves baseball, and probably posts often on the HSBBW (no offense, meant...I'm one of them, too) and are trying to be nice to dear old mom and dad.

I'm not saying those 17-18 year olds who genuinely WANT their parents at practices are weird or unusual, but it's just not the norm. It doesn't matter if you're an active parent or not. It's just the way most older teens are. It's not a reflection of their parents! By that age, most kids want their independence, and school baseball practices are included.

Like an earlier poster said, why limit it to only baseball practices? Your son might have a very eloquent English teacher. Sit in on some of her classes with your son...sitting
quietly in the back of the room so "he won't notice". Heck, sit at the lunch table with some of the other parents, too. You won't interfere. (sarcasm)

There is a reason the majority of high school athletes don't communicate with you as well as they used to. Most want to develop a little distance and independence from you. Admit it or not, it's a fact. If your 17-18 year old son is one of the few in the tiny minority, I guess you should consider yourselves very lucky. Those of us whose older teens arent in that group, don't feel too badly. We are probably more the norm.

I know everyone on here loves their kids. It's simply a sad fact of life that most teens tend to start separating themselves as they get older. If you have kids playing high school baseball, don't kid yourselves by thinking it hasn't already started. I for one wish it didn't have to be that way. But it is.

Parents attending High school practice? Why

To watch baseball.

Probably, maybe, I am not sure, but I am willing to bet......

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In reality, if they tell you they don't mind you being there, they probably know you are a gung ho parent who loves baseball, and probably posts often on the HSBBW (no offense, meant...I'm one of them, too) and are trying to be nice to dear old mom and dad.

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Maybe they like the parents being a part of their life? I am sure your life experiences lead you to your conclusions. Mine do not. That is why I don't presume to speak for you or your children. I go to practices because I love baseball. I will only have a son in HS once. I am going to enjoy it. If you want to stay home feel free. I just don't believe that my son who likes me there is "PROBABLY" insincere.

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but I can almost guarantee you that MOST high school ballplayers do NOT want their moms and dads attending school practices.

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In other words you think, but are not quite sure....... I understand that.

(as an afterthought)

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Like an earlier poster said, why limit it to only baseball practices? Your son might have a very eloquent English teacher. Sit in on some of her classes with your son...sitting
quietly in the back of the room so "he won't notice". Heck, sit at the lunch table with some of the other parents, too. You won't interfere. (sarcasm)

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There is a big difference between going to a ball park and watching a sport in practice and invading their leisure time or an English class. Baseball is a physical activity that is designed as a spectator sport. English or lumch is not. Unless you are Japanese game show!

Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

Kids fall through the cracks everyday.Sometimes because parents did'nt show any interest or support in what they were doing. I am like several others here about attending practices,I go to as many of them as possible. IF one of my sons hits a triple against our starting pitcher I feel the pleasure of that as I would in a game.
As for the coaches,my first question posed to them every year prior to attending the first practice is have you changed your policy about open practices?
Kids go thru highschool at warp speed, it's over in flash,enjoy it while you can.

I live and work in a town that has many parents working odd hours. I work 8pm to 4am - lots of people are. My husband works a bit earlier, he starts quite often at 6pm. There were many games that he couldn't go to, and I am sure that he watched practices from the street - left field. He loves baseball, and wanted to watch and probabaly didn't care whether junior wanted him there or not. That was never an issue in our house.

I don't begrudge anyone for what they do at midnight, it would be presumptuous of me to think they should be working at that hour.

The ding-**** high school coach probably didn't like parents watching, could be why some did.

Parenting includes giving them some space, letting them find their way. Parents that are not at every practice don't love their children any less. The dinner table is a nice place for families to share the days events. As I said earlier, I do not see the need to watch practice, regardless if you are a meddlesome parent or not you cannot tell me that coaches aren't affected by those parents who do attend. Games are another story, I have never missed a game, that is when you are expected to show up. Games are when your son wants to show you how all his hard work is paying off. Going to practices to watch I/O, BP, or post practice sprints, come on....

Conserve fuel...starve a terrorist!

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I do not see the need to watch practice

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I do! Personal choices are great!

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you cannot tell me that coaches aren't affected by those parents who do attend.

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My son's isn't. I wasn't. There it is off my chest!

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Parenting includes giving them some space, letting them find their way.

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What does that have to do with watching baseball? Can you point out the parenting manual that came from? Mine says to be there and support my kids as long as the coach and kid do not mind.

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The dinner table is a nice place for families to share the days events.

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Yes it is. With 3 kids all doing different things at different times what if that doesn't happen every night? Do we then just not share that day?

Florida's Best Team, the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

Bighit,

Your son is in a very tiny minority. Don't judge your situation by 30 or so parents who have posted on this thread. We are very involved parents here, and make up an almost unimaginable low percentage of high school baseball parents. Most kids just don't want their kids interfering. What we as parents think as "support", older teens see as meddling just by being there.

I am not making that sound like being at a practice on occasion is an awful thing. It's not. I am sure your son is a fine young man. Maybe he's having a rough time finding HIS independence on the ballfield. Maybe you don't want him to. I wouldn't know.

I knew you would be one of the ones offended by what I say. When I said most, or majority, I meant just that. With your stern defensive nature, I doubt you could stay away anyway from your son's practices even if your son wanted it. Maybe you could, but I doubt it.
Some of the parents who attend should simply ask the kids to be totally truthful about if they want them there or not. Most won't, because they don't want to hear the answer.

I'll give you that having lunch with your son is a sarcastic analogy, but an English class really isn't. It's a school-run activity with a professional instructor....and the kids are there to learn and WORK. Other than being indoors, it's not that much different. Competitive games are different.

You're set in your ways, BigHit. Like I said, if the situation works for you and your son, that's great! It's just not the norm. We'll agree to disagree

LeftyCoach

Your point about those on this site WHO POST make up a very small portion of the baseball population is a good one. Most on here are very deeply immersed in the situation.

This is why much of the talk is about what I call the "special" ball player, the player who is above most of the kids in his region in terms of baseball ability.

We tend to forget that aspect in our discussions--not every kid is a Top 100 player --there are only 100 of them.

As a parent I felt I could aupport my sons by being at their games--they didn't need for me to be at practices nor did I feel I had to be there, I never missed a game because I juggled my work and appointments back then--to do that for practice meant I was leaving the office early every day and that I could not do--and I was running the Town Rec Leagues at the same time

TRhit

Sometimes the circumstances will dictate whether or not parents can stay at practice:

Early in my son's AAU days <pre-license>
I would drive him to practice each day and stay
since it was a 40 minute trip. There were other parents in the same boat since our team covered quite a large geographical area. Never a problem...Coach needed us to get them there.

This same coach, at the high school level, closed his practices to parents completely.

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard

What a topic-seems to be the Baseball equivalent of Moral Pluralism, or something of that nature.

One size doesn't fit all apparently-some think it's okay to watch, some think not, some coaches don't mind, some do. In our situation, my sons have told me they don't mind-one is now off to college and the other is a high school sophmore. I don't get there as often as I'd like, but when I do, inevitably later I'll be asked "Dad, did you see..."

A lot of parents are frequently around our baseball complex as that's who does the field work, other than post-practice raking, etc., and it's very normal to have adults around working on one thing or another. It never appears to be a big deal, with the players, the parents, or the coaches, just normal.

Methinks that different opinions are allowed on this one, and they're just that-different opinions, not signs of parental depravity one way or the other.

Lefty Coach TX,

If everyone attempted to keep pace with the "norm" there would not be great works of literature, miracle advancements in medicine, technological achievements allowing you to post on this site, transportation marvels like the space shuttle, and on and on and on in all aspects of life. A professional baseball player is not the norm.
Each individual should guide themselves to do what is right under their own personal circumstances and be able to rest at night content that their actions have been correct.
Depending on which side of the scenario you position yourself an argument can be presented to make the other look bad. I attend everything I can and you don't think I should, so be it. Now that is normal.

Hokie
I'm with you. Some are sentative to it some are not. I guess thats why Baskins Robbins has 31 flavors.

I lived in the south and saw how it was done down there, but up here in the north if your parents come to high school practice you get made fun of. It may be different other places, but that is how is at my high school.

"Forget the curveball Ricky, give em the heater."

I think when you attend practices and games your son is participating in, you send a message of how important his activities are to you. Teenagers need parental involvement in as many areas of their life as possible. If they see it is important to you as well, then it is more important to them as well. So far, I have been to every practice my son has had - but because I have been his coach since Tball. This year he is trying out for his first HS team and while I don't plan to be at every practice, I do plan to go to as many as possible. I can offer him some insight on areas that I see that he needs to focus on without trying to override his coaches instruction. If you are present at the practices, you hear what the coaches are teaching your player and you can help them when they need it without contradicting what the coach teaches. Let's face it all parents are going to give advice to their sons when they are having problems - why not make it match what his coach is teaching. Definately, the parent needs to stay out of the coaches way and watch/listen ONLY unless the coach asks you to help or asks your opinion. This will rarely happen as for the most part they know the game better than the parent.

http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp

http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp

Lefty Texas Coach,

I am not judging my situation by the few posters here on this site. I actually get out to ball games and have travelled extensively. I probably have a wider view than you do because my son has had to be in 3 hs's in 4 years. We have had to move a lot. I am contending that it is personal choice and in no way makes it right or wrong for me just because we disagree. Nor does it make it right or wrong by being in the minority.

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Most kids just don't want their kids interfering. What we as parents think as "support", older teens see as meddling just by being there.

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Is it your contention that a parent should not go to practice if the coach is open and encourages it and if the kid is alright with it? Would that be because of the peer pressure? The reality of the situation is that parents who just sit and watch are not meddling by being there just because you feel that way. That is nothing more than your take. It doesn't make it fact.

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Maybe he's having a rough time finding HIS independence on the ballfield. Maybe you don't want him to. I wouldn't know.

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You are right, You wouldn't know. So why would you make such a personal comment and put a negative inference on it? You are not qualified to remark on that aspect of our relationship. It is just so much hot air designed to flame and bait. A bit over the line in my opinion.

I am not offended by your post, I simply disagree. I even did it without attacking you personally in any way.

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When I said most, or majority, I meant just that.

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That is a bit ambiguous. Not very scientific at all. In other words, just your opinion. I respect your opinion. I might even agree. It really doesn't make it right or wrong in either direction. I was a coach for years, it never bothered me to have parents there. (I am not talking about my sons teams, I never coached him except for 1 year when he was 12. I did not like coaching my own son. It was not a good thing for him or me) That might make me the minority. Oh well! Maybe I am more progressive than others. I am one of the few here who did not coach his own kid! Being in the minority doesn't really scare me. you seem to feel that that is a bad thing. I have to assume that by your post.

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With your stern defensive nature, I doubt you could stay away anyway from your son's practices even if your son wanted it. Maybe you could, but I doubt it.

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Again, a personal (and negative) characterization. Why? Just to win an argument? First of all, you don't know me at all to make a judgement like that. Way out of line. I have 3 children and spread my time equally to all 3. That means that I miss more things than I would like to. Practices are something that I go to whenever possible, but I don't go every day. I always go at the beginning of the season a couple of times to see what is up. I have other things to do. I simply reserve the right to do so whenever I see fit. With my son being at a new school in his senior year, I have a natural curiousity. I refuse to feel guilty about it because someone else wants to pass moral judgements on people s choices. I take exception to your portrayal of me as some out of control parent just because I do not agree with you. Trying to make it personal and attacking someones character is not how to win arguments, and breaks the board rules. Rather than delete it, I will address it. Maybe you don't know any better.

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You're set in your ways, BigHit

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You make a lot of assumptions for someone who has never met me. It seems to me that you feel so strongly about the issue that you decided anybody that disagreed with you was subject to your clever persoanl attacks.

Being mean and making personal comments isn't going to stop me from feeling like you are giving you opinion and stating it like fact. Just because you advocate something and believe it doesn't make it true. Let us face it most of your statements are speculations and personal experiences leading to your conclusions. Same as me.

We can agree to disagree. Let us try to do it without personal insults and character inferences. I did.

Florida's Best Team, the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

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you cannot tell me that coaches aren't affected by those parents who do attend

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I hope the coach has the ability to focus a little better than that. I'm not quite sure parents are that deeply concerned with how they have "affected" the coach. Nor should they be as the school, team or board of education is not there for their benefit.

PCX,

I'm talking about attending high school practices, not creating great works of literature or achieving medical or scientific breakthroughs. If you equate the them that way....no comment.

I also don't recall ever telling someone on here that attending high school practices is write or wrong. If I did, it was a miscommunication on my part. I simply said that it's just not what MOST kids want their parents to do. Believe it or don't believe it, I don't care.

Agent dad,

If you're within earshot of hearing what the coach is saying at practices, you might be a little too close. I'll accept that it's especially hard for a freshman parent to finally let it go, especially if they've coached their sons like I did all those years. 17 and 18 year old seniors still wanting mom and dad at practices is just a little weird to me. Am I alone in feeling like this? Maybe some of them have just accepted that dear old mom or dad will be there no matter what they want, so they just keep quiet about it to avoid hurting feelings.

The kids know how much we love and support them, whether they admit it or not. Again, I am not saying what's right or wrong...just stating an opinion.

Attending to practices and games, you as a parent, show your son you care. I don't know in the state, but if the kid get hurt in practice or game who will be responsible when he get to the hospital and no parents are around. Does he get treatment in the hospital without knowing if he had an allergic condition to any medication?

BigHit,

I wish you would read my post slowly and clearly with an open mind. I don't see it as a personal attack to you or your son. I am stating a personal opinion about what I have personally heard from a lot of kids (including mine) about parents attending high school practices. I am not judging you as a parent, or your son as a young man. I am simply stating that your situation is very rare and unique. If it doesn't bother your son by you being at practices, that's wonderful! Maybe all the transferring you've done has brought you closer in that regards. If he's at a new school his senior year, then that can be tough,

I stated my opinion, and if you totally disagree, that's fine. If you want to delete my posts, you're a moderator and have that privilege.

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Maybe some of them have just accepted that dear old mom or dad will be there no matter what they want, so they just keep quiet about it to avoid hurting feelings.

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Sorry, but I have a good enough rapport with my son that this isn't our case. Trust me, I know . I realize there are things he doesn't tell me about his life, but concerning our relationship, the only way to grow is to be honest with each other. And yes, sometimes it does cause hurt feelings, but we get over it.

Bullwinkle,

I agree with only one of your points. If they are lifting or stretching, it's boring. That's why I drive on by unless they are scrimmaging. Then, that's playing baseball and I don't care who is playing. I've stopped and watched T-ball games where I didn't know anybody.

And for the other analogies, last time I checked, baseball was a spectator sport. English class wasn't.

Like some have stated, "different strokes for different folks". Don't be shocked because we do and we won't think you are bad parents because you don't.

Frank

PASSION - "There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those."

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I'll accept that it's especially hard for a freshman parent to finally let it go, especially if they've coached their sons like I did all those years.

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I would not know. I trusted my son with coaches enough to let them coach him. He was always the only kid on all-stars who did not have a dad as a coach.

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17 and 18 year old seniors still wanting mom and dad at practices is just a little weird to me. Am I alone in feeling like this? Maybe some of them have just accepted that dear old mom or dad will be there no matter what they want, so they just keep quiet about it to avoid hurting feelings.

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I am going to re-write this from the other perspective.

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17 and 18 year old seniors not wanting mom and dad at practices is just a little weird to me. Am I alone in feeling like this? Maybe some of them have just accepted that dear old mom and dad will not be there no matter what the player wants, so they just keep quiet about it to avoid hurting their feelings.

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I did not write this to make fun of you lefty, I wrote it so that you can see how ridiculous it sounds if you are on the other side of the issue.

I am not trying to get into a tinkling contest, just understand that one position or the other is simply preference and nothing more. I just don't understand the obvious negative connotation that has to be attached to it from the side that believes that you should not go. I just don't see why it is an issue other than parents believing that their form of raising kids is best for everyone.

Florida's Best Team, the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

I would not delete your posts. I would hope we could come to some kind of understanding. i think that can happen. I respect your point of view.

Florida's Best Team, the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"

Truly, there is no right or wrong answer here...it is about what is comfortable within each of our own situations...I am not belittling those who chose not to attend as I, in turn, do not expect to be belittled for my choice to attend...my son was never uncomfortable with my presence as he is comfortable with himself..he knows I never have interferred and watch solely for the pleasure of seeing him catch...I was involved with all 3 of my childrens academic and social lives..I want to know who the Good, Bad and Ugly are...ask my girls...they never went on a date that I did not have the boys full name, address, and home phone # just in case a problem arose(thankfully I never needed to but was armed anyhow)..these are my choices on how I chose to raise my children..they maybe right or they maybe wrong(if they end up on a psychiatrist's couch someday it will all be my fault no matter what I do)...a very good friend once said to me "will your kids remember how many times you washed the kitchen floor or will they remember the I time spent with them"...I have lived by that creed for my 25 years of childrearing...

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

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Originally posted by AgentDad:
I think when you attend practices and games your son is participating in, you send a message of how important his activities are to you. Teenagers need parental involvement in as many areas of their life as possible. If they see it is important to you as well, then it is more important to them as well. So far, I have been to every practice my son has had - but because I have been his coach since Tball. This year he is trying out for his first HS team and while I don't plan to be at every practice, I do plan to go to as many as possible. I can offer him some insight on areas that I see that he needs to focus on without trying to override his coaches instruction. If you are present at the practices, you hear what the coaches are teaching your player and you can help them when they need it without contradicting what the coach teaches. Let's face it all parents are going to give advice to their sons when they are having problems - why not make it match what his coach is teaching. Definately, the parent needs to stay out of the coaches way and watch/listen ONLY unless the coach asks you to help or asks your opinion. This will rarely happen as for the most part they know the game better than the parent.

http://www.highviewheat.com/index.asp

http://www.kristensfastpitchworld.com/index.asp

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Very good post! On Sat. morning when we take junior to the batting cage, we will be giving him advice. If it contradicts what the HS coach says, we won't know it, unless we have been to some practices.

Strikeu..Good point, although there should be medical releases signed ahead of time.

Big...I'm in agreement with you on this topic. I cannot purport to know every parent's relationship with their children but I find myself laughing and shaking my head when I read(or hear) parents say
"My son doesn't want me there, so I won't go". What's wrong with this picture? My kids don't want to go to school if the temperature drops below 40. Do I say "It's okay, sweetie just stay in bed?"
They also don't want a curfew because "Dave and Tom can stay out 'til
2". Okay, Sweetie come home whenever you want to. Or how about this,
"Dad, don't come up to me after the game and congratulate me, it's
embarrassing in front of the guys"-Okay, Honey Mom and I will hide behind the car in the parking lot, let us know when we can come out.

GIVE ME A BREAK!! Who are the parents here? I think we are going down hill as a society because we are afraid to set limits for our kids and then STICK TO THEM.

It has nothing to do with allowing them to grow up and have their own space, but more about respecting their mother and father and authority. I personally would have to question why my sons would let
peer pressure from their teammates dictate their wants and needs for parental involvement. Where did I go wrong?

Maybe I AM in the minority on this subject but I won't be looking back in a few years and wishing I had seen my son hit one over the school the first day of practice, or my other son come in first in the endurance run, or my daughter score the winning goal in a s*****
scrimage.

Folks, If you don't care to be at your sons' practice for whatever reason-more power to you-I just have a very difficult time finding
a reason NOT TO BE!

Moc1

Moc 1, That is a darn good post.

Hit & Run-
If you read the post carefully and without the intent of looking for a fight, I think you'll see that what I was talking about was that too many parents get involved in the wrong ways! Parents that have the program in mind and not the promotion of their own agenda are great assets to a program...but many parents can't DO that! They worry about their kid only, and they spend time questioning rather than supporting even the best coaches. I have seen more teams ruined by bad parents than untalented players...ask any coach and he'll attest to this.
Just a suggestion - never try to pigeon-hole a coach and his motives when you have no idea what type of program he runs! The parents in my program are extremely happy with what we are doing, they are well informed on everything that happens, and I provide many things to their kids that other coaches don't....and yet I STILL need them to be parents and not coaches.

Moc - all I can say is Wow!

I guess it is reasonable to assume that if a parent respects his young man's wishes to practice without parental presence you are:

1) Contributing to the downfall of society.
2) Failing as a parent.

Dang - I guess I should have gone to those practices - in addition to the 140 games per year.

Can I get a do-over?

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Originally posted by Moc1:
Folks, If you don't care to be at your sons' practice for whatever reason-more power to you-I just have a very difficult time finding
a reason NOT TO BE!

Moc1

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It's this kind of inflammatory remark that gets under people's skin and will fuel this issue in perpetuity: Some parents have jobs that don't allow them the flexibility to go to practices. My husband is a doctor, he can never make a practice...period. He is seeing patients in clinics and in the hospital, making rounds, teaching residents, and because he works in a University Medical school setting, there are no "Wednesdays" off. There are even some GAMES he cannot get to, and we sit down with son's baseball schedule as soon as it is finalized and go over it to talk about what he can shift to allow him to take off at 4:30 in the afternoon. He loves baseball, loves his son, and does everything he can to support him, his family, and still take care of those who come to him for medical care and could not give a red hot rip whether his son is playing in whatever game wherever because they are sick and need his care and attention. And if anyone wants to challenge me on this, fine...its "pistols at 20 paces."

I think this one has gone the course.

"If you make every game a life and death proposition, you're going to have problems. For one thing, you'll be dead a lot."