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Parents of pitchers

justbaseballjustbaseball10,000+ posts
I know a few hsbbwebsters whose sons will be making their first HS varsity or college start this weekend or very soon. I also know they're understandably nervous.

For all you parents of pitchers out there - do you get nervous when your son is on the mound? I do. What do you do to combat it? Do you have superstitions? I know we all love to watch our sons pitch, and the pitchers don't ever seem nervous, just mom and dad.

I usually keep my own scorebook and sit off to the side away from other parents. If I stand, I'll pace and maybe even yell something at my son about his mechanics or the umpire about his strike zone. So I have to stay away in order to keep out of the way.

My wife is the opposite. She'll sit right behind home plate if she can. She even had me buy some new season tickets behind home plate for next college season. She is known by nearly every umpire in our area. She'll definitely let them know when they're squeezing her boy. They've come to kind of like her. When he was 13 and I was coaching him, he was pitching and getting squeezed once. My wife really got onto the umpire - I had to ask her to leave the area - good thing there was some cooling off time before I got home. Big Grin Its funny looking back. Our son says he likes hearing his mom say things that are kind of funny or motivational to him. I think he'd rather hear her than me now anyways.

A couple of weeks ago at the Stanford/Fullerton series, a heckler from Fullerton was riding the Stanford pitcher. My wife stood up and yelled at him, "You won't be talkin' like that to my boy next year!" clap

So what about the rest of you?

________________
"Pitching is the art of instilling fear," Sandy Koufax.

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P PGStaff10,000+ posts
justbaseball,

I could write a book on the subject.

I once quit listening to his games on the radio only because I somehow thought it was affecting his performance.

You may not yet have experienced "not being there". Not being there, is the toughest of all. Sitting in the stands, I can handle much better than watching TV or worse yet, listening to a radio broadcast. The very worst is following a game (inning by inning) on the internet.

I've been known to be a bit grumpy on days he pitches. I really think I've got some kind of serious problem.

A few years ago I saw one of his first games in MLB at Bank One Ballpark. Setting next to Bill Olson, an old friend, whose son Gregg was a veteran pitcher with 200 saves. I asked Bill, did you feel a little sick to your stomach when you first saw your son pitch in the Big Leagues. He said, "Yes, and I still do to this day". "It has never stopped".
MrandMrsBaseballMrandMrsBaseball1,000+ posts
I just received the HS schedule today and just looking at it gave me that nervous stomach feeling. It's awful.
I totally had myself convinced last year that if I didn't have bazooka gum and diet coke, that it would be a BAD outting. I have to go off by myself because if there are errors I tend to go "OH YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME" at an entirely inappropriate volume. (4,5 or 6 outs an inning is tough on a pitcher's parent) So I stay away and keep my scorebook and grumble all I want. This way the other parents still talk to me. biglaugh

_______________________
"People ask me what I do in winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring." Rogers Hornsby, Hall of Famer
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L lhpmom100+ posts
We usually exit the stands go away from everyone and partake of our foul habit. (yes, we smoke cigarettes.) Then we drink coffee or soda and visit the bathroom a lot(but only after he's off the mound and not when he's batting). greenjump
Sometimes, I will do the wave all by myself. It looks pretty stupid but it usually seems like a good thing to do at the time. biglaugh
Yes, we still get butterflies sometimes but have calmed with age. Hubby paces. walk
Mrs. Baseball: I knew an A's fan that believed that he had to eat three dogs and an order of garlic fries in the seventh to assure that they'd win. Ouch, heartburn! Eek
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N NYdad500+ posts
Inside i'm pretty much a basket case when son pitches and I guess things aren't gonna get any easier as he is now a freshmen about to embark on a H.S. career. Can feel the nerves starting to build as tryouts/season rapidly approach. Somewhat added pressure being he was recruited to an out of town school where he is expected to play JV. Although he had some experience last year pitching for the local H.S. as an 8th grader, having seen this private school's schedule, I look forward to the other two games a week when he's in right or at first!

"On two legs, Mickey Mantle would have been the greatest ballplayer who ever lived." - Nellie Fox
FungoFungoHighly Regarded and Beloved Old Timer
I’m with PGStaff, listening on the radio is very nerve wracking. I've had to get up and walk away from the radio. I’ve only seen one game live on TV where he pitched. It didn’t seem to bother me too much. Setting in the stands watching him pitch doesn’t bother me either. I always feel as if the pitching coach is in charge of the situation. If he gets in trouble then the responsibility rest with the coach. I admit I did get frustrated at one game during his senior year of high school. There were about ten scouts watching him pitch and he wasn’t hitting his spots with much consistency. I had to leave the ballpark and walk the isles of Wal-Mart. I have never been one to say anything during the game.
Being a catcher/pitcher I get compare the “parental stress” of two positions. It is much more nerve wracking for me to have the tying or go ahead run at third base and the possibility of a passed ball or a wild pitch costing the game than it is to be on the mound under any situation. noidea
Fungo

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
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heybattabattaheybattabatta10+ posts
Can I relate to this topic. I tend to be the Mom behind the plate. Oh yeah, you all know the kind of Mom I am. We are very protective of our pitching sons. It kills me when the umpire is stingy with his calls or son is having a bad day or team is making errors so that it takes 6 outs to get out of the inning, and so on. I am dying out there!!! I practically choke on my sunflower seeds to keep myself in check from yelling inappropriate comments when the errors are racking up. (You're not alone, MrandMrsBaseball.) My husband tends to pace and hang out on the sidelines with the other Dads. I think it is hard to sit next to me.
And yes, to answer the question, it has been the same since day one watching our son progress through all the different levels of baseball. Wouldn't give a second of it up. Can't wait to watch him next year when he pitches for USC. Looking forward to watching his last year of high school pitching. Praying to God that he stays healthy and continues to love the game of baseball.
E Eagledad10+ posts
My son is now a senior rhp and I am still a nervous wreck every
time he pitches.I usually sit in the same seat looking right at
him.I never say anything and usually have to keep my wife under
control,especially after an error.I spend a lot of time pacing
behind the stands.At times when he is in trouble,he will look
at me for advice,we have our own set of signals when he is doing
something wrong mechanically.It is a strange combination of
extreme excitement at his being on the mound and extreme nervousness that things will go fine for him.
L lhpmom100+ posts
I had to share something funny on this subject, hubby can loose it about those 6 out innings with errors, but no one can hold a candle to little old Grandma.
She is barely five feet tall and I have seen her go ballistic. I've had to tell her to knock it off. I thought she was going to go out there and kick butt. I'd hate to be the ump the day he's pitching and she's there. greenjump
glakcoglakco10+ posts
My son too is a HS senior this year and while I still am nervous, I've learned to stay relatively quite during his outings since the early days of LL. Back then, I used to instruct more as the coach and tell him what needs to be changed during the game. But now, as just a parent, I let his coaches, who do a tremendous job knowing his strengths and weaknesses, do all that they do. From emotional support to technique suggestions and all that goes with the psyche of a HS pitcher. I certainly don't like it if I feel he's getting squeezed by the ump but he somehow always gives us reason to feel proud. He is a power control pitcher so it gives me great pride to count the K's. I do get stressed if he walks batters. I guess nervousness and stress will always be part of it. I do pace like some of the parents who posted on this thread, especially during the big games like in the conference and state championship game last year. I don't know what will happen next year in D1 but wee as parents look forward to watching his continued growth and who knows what will happen after that. All I do know is this year, we won't miss one outing.
justbaseballjustbaseball10,000+ posts
PGStaff - I like your story about the radio and I can relate. When I was a kid listening to Reds games on the radio late at night when they were on the West Coast, I had these superstitions about where the radio had to be in my room and things like that.

I have this idea even now that when I'm taking video of E, bad things happen. So I just don't have much video at all. (BTW, I do have video of the PG National and the Cuba game - so I can't be too right on that one. Wink) Wife calls me in the middle of his PG outing on cell phone and I rudely cut her off - all recorded on the video in Lincoln.
________________
"Pitching is the art of instilling fear," Sandy Koufax.
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TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
There is a joke around town about my husband. If you can't find him while son is on the mound he is in the bathroom throwing up! Not really, but everyone knows how nervous he gets.
Our son asked us long ago not to make a scene at the field, so out of respect we have remained quiet.
When it is a big game or lots of people watching, I pace. I also try to stay away from behind the plate, out of view unless I feel he is really being cheated by the umpire.
Nice to know that we are not alone. Now for the weirdest thing, my sons best games have been when we were not there, go figure!
URKillingMeBlueURKillingMeBlue1,000+ posts
Just - You are evil to ask this question... Cool

I typically sit between home plate and first when my son pitches -- just in case he needs a little extra help from Blue (not that this has actually happened...) Mad Big Grin

I usually sit with one of the dads who keeps score, just in case he needs some sage advice, and also keep my own pitch count using my Palm Pilot pitch counter program...

Seriously (while all the above is true), if my son stays back and is pitching in control, I relax and watch the game regardless of the outcome. If his mechanics are off, I'm pacing from home plate to RF...

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Pay attention to the feedback that takes you where you want to go!
O Orlando1,000+ posts
OK, Pitchers' Parents, maybe you can help with a poll of your sons. I have a Pet Peeve (mostly with coaches, it's their job). Ask them what they do when there is a WP, PB, or pop foul.

That's when I show a bit of temper as a catcher's parent. I have found it to be exceedingly rare to find a pitcher who will point and yell "back", "third base", or "first base". They tend to watch and leave it to the guy crouching....facing the oposite way....and wearing a mask....with an umpire hovering over him....to locate it on his own. And don't even get me started on the guys taught to yell "up" on a pop foul. (Up? No excrement!)

---------------------------------
From 'Nice Guys Finish Last' by Leo Durocher:

Baseball lives at the center of a never-flagging whirl of irreconcilable opinions.
FutureBack.MomFutureBack.Mom1,000+ posts
Okay, I guess I can pipe in here since I have a few more years' experience ...

I (1) always sit in the same seat in the same row behind dugout; (2) keep impeccable score on extra large score sheets ... in technicolor and with pen; (3) try NOT to drink coffee before the game; (4) pace (unfortunately with cigarette in mouth) near BBQ area when nervous; (5) holler only supportive words to son on mound; (6) correct home plate umpire only when he is wrong 14; (7) reprimand field umpire(s) only when they make a call that extends my son's inning ... otherwise, I am cool as the proverbial cucumber ... tater

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Go Highlanders
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URKillingMeBlueURKillingMeBlue1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by URKillingMeBlue:
Mrs BB - It's 'YOU ARE KILLING ME BLUE'

How do you think I got my nickname? Big Grin


P.S. Sure, H-Mom -- me, too biglaugh
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Pay attention to the feedback that takes you where you want to go!


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Pay attention to the feedback that takes you where you want to go![/QUOTE]

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Pay attention to the feedback that takes you where you want to go!
BizazzBizazz1,000+ posts
As much as I want to be sitting behind the mound, I try to stay inconspicuous in the stands. I'll sometimes find a spot behind homeplate, but try to stay out of his line of sight.

I try to look cool, calm, and collected while I'm burning up inside.

I try to be supportive of his effort, no matter what the outcome.
Lefty3WLefty3W10+ posts
I have developed my own personal coping mechanisms and rituals to combat the nervousness.

1) Always show up 5 minutes before a game starts, never earlier.

2) Never know when he is going to pitch.

3) Never sit behind home plate.

4) Never keep statistics or know the score.

5) Always get plenty of sleep the night before the game.

6) Never sit in the bleachers. Sit in a folding chair in the most peaceful and relaxing area especially where no one can hear you.

7) Drink only water, no caffiene.

8) Eat plenty of comfort food like hot dogs. This also keeps anyone from hearing you.

9) Chase down all the foul balls.


pull_hair
B Braves10+ posts
This is one of my favorite threads. When arriving to any game I will always notice a pitcher's parents, regardless if I know them or not.

They all will feature the same tendencies explained in prior posts. It's a unique Fraternity/Sorority, that unless you are a pitcher's parent...one will never understand.

I kid one parent in our area, a notorious pacer, as leaving holes at every HS field behind home plate....the man just ain't right! Smile
G GaDad100+ posts
During home games at our HS, I am the announcer. My duties include announcing the starting lineups, announcing the hitters, and playing music between innings. My ability to concentrate on those duties when my son pitches is a real challenge and I've had to be nudged by the scorekeeper once in a while to announce the batter in a tight situation or after a key out.

I also have to be careful that the mike is off when not announcing during the game-especially if I don't like a call!

At away games I usually try to stay out of his line of sight. He tells me that he doesn't really notice where I am anyway, but in my mind I want to make sure he isn't looking at me when he is pitching.

Steve

"It might be, it could be, it is.........
H HiHardHeat1,000+ posts
My wife sits calmly behind home or in the stands and enjoys the movement on my son's pitches, she cheers on the team an says a prayer before every pitch, talks to others in the stands and acts completely normal.

I'm a wreck. I pace, forget who I'm talking to and what we were talking about, try to find a "lucky" place away from everyone to stand, do laps around the field and have even gone into the concession stand to help when the team is at bat.

Brave's was talking about one of the dad's that wears a hole behind the backstop. That's not me, but, if there is a good-sized crowd, he will go stand behind the RF fence and watch just to get away from everyone....I prefer center over right.
Bighit15Bighit155,000+ posts
It never changes. My son had his first start last night at a new school, in a new state, with new kids, and a new coach, pitching against a fairly highly regarded lefty pitcher going to a d=1. It never goes away, parents of pitchers have it the worst. If son is awesome, fine. If son stinks, you feel the pressure on him.

I like to sit behind the plate and watch the action. I like to see the ball movement. I will never stop getting nervous.

It was nice to chalk up a win and get the first one out of the way.

the Florida Bombers
"I love the HSBBW"
D denise100+ posts
My son is a HS sr. , LHP/1B/CF. When he plays 1B or CF and can just sit back and really enjoy the game. But, man when he is on the mound I am so tense. I love to watch him pitch don't get me wrong. There is just something about your kid being on the mound that changes everything. My husband and I handle things totally different. He is a"pacer", can't stay seated he is up and down the whole game. I always sit, usually alone, with a 2lb bag of seads. I eat seads the whole time and try to be supportive.
hokieonehokieone5,000+ posts
GaDad,

Welcome to the fraternity; I too announce, do the music, etc. I let the starting pitcher pick the first song, first inning. Ethical dilemma-my younger son likes a garbage song-no dirty lyrics (they're taboo), just borderline music in my book. (Usually I stick to 70's stuff, some country, current rock that resembles the 70's etc.)
My sons ignore me back there, but my wife gives me grief when I get cute with the music (playing "Help", when opposing team changes pitchers, playing "We can work it out" when managers argue, once had "Hey Hey Hey, Good-bye" teed up and playing as a walkoff homer cleared the fence-totally unappreciated)
OriolesFanOriolesFan100+ posts
My son's first college appearance as a pitcher put him in a game with 1 out, two on and the game on the line. I saw him trot in from the bullpen and almost passed out!!! As he warmed up on the mound, I actually had to remind myself to breath, I was so nervous! Hanging on every pitch, I watched him closer than when he was a newborn - looking at every movement, analyzing every twitch - he walked the first batter, then got the next on a K, and then a ground out and was out of the inning.
The relief I felt when that last out was made was inexpressible!!!
But the most important point of this story is what he said to me later, when I asked him if he was nervous when he went out there, in that situation. He turned and looked at me and said - "Mom, I live for that type of challenge - it was great!!" And he meant it.
So now I remember that, and realize that if he's not nervous, then I will choose not to be, either-
believing in him is a lot easier to handle!
B BigWI1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by OriolesFan:
He turned and looked at me and said - "Mom, I live for that type of challenge - it was great!!" And he meant it.


That is the kind of ballplayer I want on my team. One who wants the ball when the game is on the line. The one who says to himself hit it to me, I'll make the play.

Play every game as if it were your last
BK'sMOMBK'sMOM1,000+ posts
yesterday...I was headed to the track to walk...(my son is in basketball still...so no baseball yet..playoff bound)....

well, when I got near the school I saw the boys on the field, and although I do not have anyone out there yet (sorry I just had to have a look)...my car took me to the field and I parked out by right field...

And then I saw him..."one of those pitcher parents"...he was pacing with his hands in his pockets.

One minute he'd stop..look onto the field..twich..and begin pacing again...and I remembered that all these years I don't think he's ever sat down at a game...

Must be why he's so thin...
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G GaDad100+ posts
Hokie1:

I love it.

Most of our parents like country--the kids are split between hard rock and country, so I try and mix it up between the two. I like Exit Light if the opposing manager goes out to the mound or changes pitches. I also have a copy of Harry Caray singing take me out to the ballgame for the "6th inning stretch," since we only play 7.

Steve

"It might be, it could be, it is.........
W wildthingking10+ posts
I love this thread because now I know I am not alone. These moments are tough on us but can be real break through moments for our kids.

My son was put into a game last year against the best Babe Ruth team in our area. The bases were loaded with no outs in the first after three consecutive walks but the starting pitcher. My son was on the worst team in this league and the game before we had been ten runned. My stomach was in knots. I assumed this team would score a dozen runs and it would kill my son's self confidence.

Instead, he gets out of the inning with no runs and pitches three shut-out innings. He now knows he can compete with the best in our area. His confidence soared and he is more determined than ever to succeed.
MN-MomMN-MomHSBaseballWeb Owner
My son is a HS senior RHP who has loved pitching since age 10. In the lower levels I don't remember feeling very nervous. Even when he was a HS freshman pitching for JV I don't remember feeling more than a slight, brief nervous feeling. But when he was a barely-16-yr-old skinny soph pitching HS varsity against 18-yr-old young men, my stomache started doing flip-flops! I was so nervous that I couldn't sit in the stands, had to find a quiet place to sit off by myself where I could barely see the action but no one could see me.

It has gotten gradually better over the past two years, but I still prefer to sit on the 1B sideline far enough away that my son would not notice me if he did look (although he says he does not notice anything not on the playing field). And I usually write down his pitch count just to keep myself occupied. Dad stands quietly next to the stands behind home plate, if possible ... watches all the pitchers, and chats with other players' dads between batters.

Son also plays position when not pitching ... at those games, I'm just a happy spectator in the stands! His senior HS season will start in about 5 or 6 weeks ... then next year I'll have to adjust to him playing college ball! That will be a thrill, and I hope we can make it to every home game, only about 90 minutes away!

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M moptop10+ posts
I've been coaching my son since he was 5. Being an '04 RHP, I enjoy watching him immensely. I stand, sit as close to the plate as I can to watch how he goes about setting his pitches up. I keep pretty quite though as I know my calmness has an affect on him. I will make a gesture/signal to him if I see he's not mechanically sound.

Recently I asked him if me being in his eyesight made him nervous at all, cause if it does I'll move.

His reply was "I don't do nervous". So now, neither do I.
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