Pressure to commit

Congratulations on your son's offer!

The reason why they want your son to respond now is because National Signing Day is right around the corner, Nov 8th, which is something that your family should have been aware of during the process.

Thank you!! We are aware of the NLI date and that's what we kinda were thinking was part of the pressure.

We would just appreciate a firm deadline, which has not been provided. 

That's fantastic.  You must be so proud of him working through injury to get to this point.  I guess the question is "Does your son present this information to his dream school to see if it pressures them to offer now?"  It seems to me to be the right step but maybe someone with experience at that level of program has a different thought.  You don't want to end up without a chair to sit.  I don't know how often P5 schools pull their offer after they've pressured you a bit.  If dream school drags their feet and your son likes the offering school and their baseball enough, maybe he should grab a seat.  just my opinion.

After all the discussions about post-covid recruiting, I guess I'm mildly surprised at multiple P5s actively recruiting multiple HS seniors, not just your son, but the others visiting, 2 weeks before the NLI deadline.  Did all these schools decide that there was no-one they wanted in the transfer portal?  Are these walk-on offers?

College baseball is a weird animal!! Our son's offer was definitely not a walk on offer. It was EXTREMELY generous!! He did receive a preferred walk on offer from UCF but turned that down. Loved UCF's pitching coach and program but not going to take an out of state WO spot.

This comes down to the value of the bird in the hand. Right now it’s in your son’s hand. If someone else accepts the bird flies away.

Can he have his travel coach reach out to his dream school and basically say he is getting pressure to commit, so he can get a pulse on whether or not they plan to offer?

It sounds like your son’s suitor has presented itself. Dream school has not offered. That’s an easy decision when you remove emotion from the equation. Which I suggest you do.

@baseballhs posted:

Can he have his travel coach reach out to his dream school and basically say he is getting pressure to commit, so he can get a pulse on whether or not they plan to offer?

His coaches have reached out to his dream school and son is fortunate that he is playing on his dream school's field next week so they can see him. They said they needed to see him "one more time."  I personally am all for the offering school but I can't tell my son to give up on his dream school when he will have a final answer,  good or bad, by the end of next week!

@adbono posted:

It sounds like your son’s suitor has presented itself. Dream school has not offered. That’s an easy decision when you remove emotion from the equation. Which I suggest you do.

I 💯 agree. But unfortunately it's not my decision to make.

Just from experience, that was what my son’s dream school said too. When his second choice offered, our travel coach told them we were taking it unless they offered. They didn’t. This is after asking him to call every week for a year and inviting him to campus twice.  Other schools offered on the spot. I think if they want you, they know. If they need to “see you one more time” they are dragging you along while they keep looking for someone else they like more.  I understand the dream schools, but the experience isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.

@BaseballMOM05 posted:

I 💯 agree. But unfortunately it's not my decision to make.

I know and I understand. But as a parent it is your job to talk sense to your son. There is nothing wrong with you directing him into making a good decision.

@adbono posted:

It sounds like your son’s suitor has presented itself. Dream school has not offered. That’s an easy decision when you remove emotion from the equation. Which I suggest you do.

Good advice.

Most successful P5 baseball programs take care of business early.

The next years incoming classes are already set months before signing day.

@BaseballMOM05

How many 2024s are committed to your son's dream school?

@TPM posted:

@BaseballMOM05

How many 2024s are committed to your son's dream school?

14 total. 7 pitchers.

@baseballhs posted:

Just from experience, that was what my son’s dream school said too. When his second choice offered, our travel coach told them we were taking it unless they offered. They didn’t. This is after asking him to call every week for a year and inviting him to campus twice.  Other schools offered on the spot. I think if they want you, they know. If they need to “see you one more time” they are dragging you along while they keep looking for someone else they like more.  I understand the dream schools, but the experience isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.

@BaseballMOM05.   I gotta say... my spidey sense is tingling. I think Dream school is waiting for a kid they want more than your son.  And the end of next week actually seems like a long time, especially if the school acted surprised he didn't immediately accept.  I agree with Adbono that a large part of our job as parents is to guide our children and helping them to make good decisions. But it's certainly tricky as there is a risk your son may resent you if you pressure him too much.  "Go Where You're Loved!" is something I first read here 5 years ago.  Maybe have him read this thread or reach out to some of the senior members here.  I suspect in this situation they would be happy to talk with him or exchange emails/texts.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to attend and play at a school that you have dreamed about forever. I actually think that often makes the player more motivated to become a better player. It happens often in big state schools, that you will find players that have grown up being huge fans forever.

Nothing wrong with being a home boy.

But there is a lot more to it, and I agree that it's our job to help our athletes to make the best decision when the time comes.

JMO

Almost every young baseball player has a school that they grow up dreaming about going to and playing for. It seldom comes to fruition. That’s why they are referred to as “dream schools.” It’s right there in the name. As adults we understand the harsh realities of life and sometimes it’s our responsibility as parents to deliver the truth to our kids. Even when it’s not pleasant for them to hear. But as adults we also know that there is often more than one path to reach a goal. But the blinders have to come off in order to see opportunities that might actually be better option. Choosing wisely isn’t giving up on your dream. Choosing wisely is giving your dream a chance.

Go where you are wanted and loved...where the coaches have a vested interest in your son's success especially in today's recruiting marketplace.

I think the "dream school" label to a 17yo is seen through a different lens than their parents.   I've followed a lot of folks that have come through HSBBWeb, and I think the term "dream school" is an overused and misunderstood phrase.   People seem to change dream schools regularly which really runs counter to the dream school idea.

Does the dream school through their actions, see your son as the dream recruit?  In my mind that is what matters right now.

JMO.

@fenwaysouth posted:

Go where you are wanted and loved...where the coaches have a vested interest in your son's success especially in today's recruiting marketplace.

I think the "dream school" label to a 17yo is seen through a different lens than their parents.   I've followed a lot of folks that have come through HSBBWeb, and I think the term "dream school" is an overused and misunderstood phrase.   People seem to change dream schools regularly which really runs counter to the dream school idea.

Does the dream school through their actions, see your son as the dream recruit?  In my mind that is what matters right now.

JMO.

@fenwaysouth I agree with your thoughts and I have tried expressing that same sentiment to my son about him being his dream school's "dream recruit."  He's had a wonderful team of coaches and mentors tell him throughout the years to go where he is wanted and loved and then in the same breath say "you will feel it in your gut" and "don't give up on your dream school." Drives my NUTS!! Big decisions like this should not be made on emotion and it does not help with you are telling a 16/17 year old to "feel" it and go with your gut!

We have spoken to son in extreme depth about using sound judgement and reason on making this decision and not just emotion. We have discussed the path to success is not always what you want, but what opportunities are presented to you and how to maximize those opportunities.  It's hard to get an emotional 18 year old to sometimes see the forest for the trees.

Take the "GENEROUS" offer.  The dream school sounds like what it is.....a dream.  It's a business.

Master P;

Yes, it is a business. The family should have a lawyer read the "fine" print of the OFFER.

Bob

@baseballhs posted:

Just from experience, that was what my son’s dream school said too. When his second choice offered, our travel coach told them we were taking it unless they offered. They didn’t. This is after asking him to call every week for a year and inviting him to campus twice.  Other schools offered on the spot. I think if they want you, they know. If they need to “see you one more time” they are dragging you along while they keep looking for someone else they like more.  I understand the dream schools, but the experience isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be.

Agree with this. "Need to see you one more time" means they have something else cooking and you are possibly the fall back plan. Ask yourself, how many times have they seen your son play and which coaches saw him? Back when my first committed to his original school his freshman year, he had several offers on the table. But there was one school that he would have actually committed to if they didn't play this same game. The head coach was the one that had seen him play 5+ times already. So I pointed out to my son how many times they already saw him and they knew where to see him at anytime as he was easily available to this head coach at any given weekend. So with that realization, he counted them out of the process and ended up choosing his original school.

Like others have said, remove emotion and go where you feel loved.

We're in a similar situation- hoping our son chooses to go where he is clearly wanted over a program whose coaches definitely seem to be looking for a better option.

@BaseballGhostMom posted:

We're in a similar situation- hoping our son chooses to go where he is clearly wanted over a program whose coaches definitely seem to be looking for a better option.

@BaseballGhostMom Wishing you all the best!! It is so tough!

@BaseballMOM05 posted:

@BaseballGhostMom Wishing you all the best!! It is so tough!

Same to you! It's so hard to just sit back and watch! But it's their journey and not ours (I keep saying to myself haha)

@BaseballGhostMom posted:

Same to you! It's so hard to just sit back and watch! But it's their journey and not ours (I keep saying to myself haha)

It is their journey. But you are paying for it.

@BaseballMOM05 posted:

His coaches have reached out to his dream school and son is fortunate that he is playing on his dream school's field next week so they can see him. They said they needed to see him "one more time."  I personally am all for the offering school but I can't tell my son to give up on his dream school when he will have a final answer,  good or bad, by the end of next week!

Something to consider …

One school made a quality offer. His dream school needs to see him one more time. It means they haven’t made up their mind. Or is his dream school waiting to see what recruit choice A decides before offering recruit choice B  (your son). Which school do you believe he’s more likely to get the opportunity to play? Go where you’re loved.

I refused to pay for what I thought were poor decisions. Be it showcases, tournaments, or whatever. Even if money is no object a sense of reason has to be applied and kids should be held accountable.

@baseballhs posted:

Can he have his travel coach reach out to his dream school and basically say he is getting pressure to commit, so he can get a pulse on whether or not they plan to offer?

Just remember this is a buyer's market.

@CollegebaseballInsights posted:

Just remember this is a buyer's market.

That single fact (that too many people don’t give enough consideration to) governs much of what happens

@CollegebaseballInsights posted:

Just remember this is a buyer's market.

I’m aware, but it gives you an answer really quick as to where you stand. Usually the signs are already there, but you may not want to see them. My son’s dream school watched him pitch on their campus. He was lights out, they still didn’t offer. Another P5, Coach, who had never seen him play, came up after the game and offered a 50% scholarship. If they’ve seen what you’re capable of doing, and they haven’t offered, they don’t really want you. my son needed to hear it. Putting them on the spot, let him move on. A lot of these coaches are very good at making you feel like they want you without any commitment on their side.

@adbono posted:

That single fact (that too many people don’t give enough consideration to) governs much of what happens

At WWBA I had a mother look at me and say, "I mean, that school is lucky to be getting my son.  He could be going to a much bigger and better school."  I was at a loss for words.

So I'm going to go against what a lot have said.

First, they are right. Your son is taking a risk.

Second, this reads like my son's recruiting scenario. His other offers were not from P5 schools, they were mid-majors at best.  I didn't really realize that he had a dream school, but he did. He told all schools that he would commit by Sept. 23 of his senior year, which is late. One got downright belligerent about it, which kind of marked them off our list. Another said "we treat this like a business" and my son replied "I do too and I've given you my decision. You're one of the schools I'm considering and I'll let you know Sept. 23. If you have to go elsewhere, that's your decision."

I couldn't decide if I wanted to kill him or hug him.

Son's dream school too wanted to see him "one more time." We were on campus for a tournament and the pitching coach stopped us in the parking lot and said "we really need to see you in a Hawkeye uniform." I almost responded "then make him a stinking offer dude!"

Very proud that i did not.

Sept. 23 turned out to be right after Iowa's last camp of the year. They had him pitch an inning them pulled him off the field and made him an offer, it was dreamy. But he was lucky. Later, he told me he knew it was risky but he wanted to play at the best. They weren't really his dream school, they were the best school that offered and that's where he wanted to be. It worked out for him.

It may or may not work out for your son. As long as he seriously understands the risk and is doing it for the right reason and you can support his reasoning, go for it. If any of those things aren't true, he should take the offer he has.

@Iowamom23 posted:

So I'm going to go against what a lot have said.

First, they are right. Your son is taking a risk.

Second, this reads like my son's recruiting scenario. His other offers were not from P5 schools, they were mid-majors at best.  I didn't really realize that he had a dream school, but he did. He told all schools that he would commit by Sept. 23 of his senior year, which is late. One got downright belligerent about it, which kind of marked them off our list. Another said "we treat this like a business" and my son replied "I do too and I've given you my decision. You're one of the schools I'm considering and I'll let you know Sept. 23. If you have to go elsewhere, that's your decision."

I couldn't decide if I wanted to kill him or hug him.

Son's dream school too wanted to see him "one more time." We were on campus for a tournament and the pitching coach stopped us in the parking lot and said "we really need to see you in a Hawkeye uniform." I almost responded "then make him a stinking offer dude!"

Very proud that i did not.

Sept. 23 turned out to be right after Iowa's last camp of the year. They had him pitch an inning them pulled him off the field and made him an offer, it was dreamy. But he was lucky. Later, he told me he knew it was risky but he wanted to play at the best. They weren't really his dream school, they were the best school that offered and that's where he wanted to be. It worked out for him.

It may or may not work out for your son. As long as he seriously understands the risk and is doing it for the right reason and you can support his reasoning, go for it. If any of those things aren't true, he should take the offer he has.

You noted September 23rd was late. It's October 18th.

@BaseballMOM05 posted:

14 total. 7 pitchers.

Commits are just one of the dimensions

Here is what the family needs to consider.

Head Coach Tenure.

Team Roster Turnover.

Compare the 2 schools for the last 3 yrs or if the coach was hired within the last 2 yr review his incoming recruiting classes.

Your decision to sign or delay will be very clear.

For example, in 2022, Link Jarrett was a late hire, thus he kept the recruiting class of his predecessor

2022-23 Recruiting Class

For the 2023-24 season, based on their fall roster, here is a preliminary look

Turnover by Primary Position

Players not on roster

Incoming players

@baseballhs posted:

I’m aware, but it gives you an answer really quick as to where you stand. Usually the signs are already there, but you may not want to see them. My son’s dream school watched him pitch on their campus. He was lights out, they still didn’t offer. Another P5, Coach, who had never seen him play, came up after the game and offered a 50% scholarship. If they’ve seen what you’re capable of doing, and they haven’t offered, they don’t really want you. my son needed to hear it. Putting them on the spot, let him move on. A lot of these coaches are very good at making you feel like they want you without any commitment on their side.

It is not that they don't want you, they just have options as to who they can take to the prom.

@Master P posted:

Take the "GENEROUS" offer.  The dream school sounds like what it is.....a dream.  It's a business.

Agree.  You can almost guarantee at this point that if an offer comes from the Dream school that it's going to be the minimum as far as athletic money.  14 commits already seems like a lot.  I will tell you that the "one more time" thing is exactly what happened to my son.  Took a visit to the school on a Tuesday.  It went great.  RC said "I want to see you one more time".  He drove 3 hours to see my son play at 9am that Friday.  Game got rained out.  He said "I talked to your coach, you're going to pitch in your game later today".  RC was there.....son threw 1 inning, 11 pitches, 3 K's.   Coach waved, smiled and took off.   2 hour later son got a text.....said "Call me in the morning, we'll talk about your future as a Falcon".   Son called the next day, was offered and accepted over the phone.